Woohoo, another blog where someone rants about something pointless!
DISCLAIMER: Everything that's typed here, while somewhat exagerated (and by somewhat I mean not really) is 100% true, i'm simply recounting events from the past couple weeks.
Warning: I'm REALLY not in a good mood at the time of writing this blog, be warned alot of angst and swearing follows.
God, I don't know how I could have possibly lost faith in humanity, well my college room-mate has managed to do this. I do NOT understand how ignorant this kid is. It's ridiculous. Ugh. Here we go. Why exactly do I hate him?
1)His music. Fucking hell. Rap is not all that great in the first place, but the stuff my room-mate listens too, FUCK. Half of the songs are (and I quote) "I'm so fly, fly as the sky, I get high, high as the sky, I steal money and deal drugs, Yeah I'm so fly." What the fuck kind of music is that? Now, it would be all fine and dandy if he listened to it with headphones. But of course, that would make my life too easy, so of course, he has to have a massive subwoofer and speakers. Great. He has *absolutely* no regard for when i'm in the room, it's just on. Two thursdays ago, we had both gone to bed at 1:00ish, neither of us have classes untill pretty late. at 7:45 in the morning, i had just kinda woken up and was just relaxing in bed, when all the sudden "IM SO FLY, IM SO HOT" comes on. Loud. SFG:KHADGMAGNMNVMSDG NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ITS FUCKING 7:45 IN THE FUCKING MORNING FOR CHRISTS SAKE. WHY. ARE. YOU. PLAYING. MUSIC. WITHOUT. HEADPHONES? WHY? Ugh, I didn't even say anything because I was just blown away that someone would even CONSIDER something like that. I could understand if it was like, 10:00, and we hadn't gone to bed at 1 in the morning, but SERIOUSLY?
As if that wasn't bad enough, Monday night (I have an 8am on tuesday) It's 12:30. I needed to get to bed, I was busy reading TL, i notice the clock, and was like "Shit, bedtime" out loud. Got up, got ready for bed. My room-mate, amazingly enough, got out headphones. Notice the key word though. Got out. Yes. He got out his headphones, looked for a headphone jack, spent about 15 seconds looking for a headphone jack, couldn't find one in his 15 seconds of looking, SO HE SHRUGS AND JUST TURNS HIS MUSIC DOWN A TINY BIT. FFS HE *KNOWS* I have an 8am, like WHAT THE FUCK. Once again, I was blown away at this and didn't say anything, this time, it really is my fault for not saying anything, still pisses me off though.
I woke up once AGAIN this morning to rap music. This time I kinda got up, wow, I went to bed at 2. It's FUCKING 8:30 ASFGK:LHASFGKASHFGASMFVNASFVMAL:SFASFBADFG!GREAT. I just kinda got up and was like "Dude, it's 8:30, like seriously?" and he went "oh sorry" and TURNS IT DOWN JUST A TINY BIT. NOPE. HEADPHONES ARE JUST TOO HARD FOR HIM. Sigh.
2)Give him an inch, he'll take a mile. Woo, this one sounds fun right? Wrong. First weekend we're here, he goes to a party at a friends and leaves his cell. He asks to borrow mine so he can call his friend. Sure, that's np on my part. But no, he can't *just* call his friend, he has to call EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO WAS AT THE FUCKING PARTY asking if they had his phone. I'm STILL getting random calls and texts of "Who is this?" "Oh *insert* used my phone to call you, he left his phone at a party you were at" Yeah, i just love repeating myself over and over again. It's real awesome. As if that wasn't the lesson to learn. He asked to use my printer. I figured it was for like an essay or something. Nope. It was for 25 PAGES OF NOTES FOR ONE OF HIS CLASSES. Maybe, just maybe, instead of saying "hey dude can i use your printer?" You could have said "Hey dude, I kinda need to print some notes, they're kinda long, do you mind if i use your printer?" Maybe, just MAYBE I wouldn't have been SO PISSED about it. He *actually* made some excuse along the lines of "It's just some notes" when i asked him what he needed to print. Fuck you room-mate. Fuck you.
3)We never talk. Ever. Lord knows, I've tried to strike up a conversation with him multiple times, and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It's a one word answer. HE REFUSES to talk to me, and at this point, I refuse to talk to him. A few of his friends have come in looking for him and they always go "yeah, he's shy, but once you get to know him he's a great person." Uh-huh. Bullshit. Not much else to say here.
4)Has it suddenly become okay to touch/use people's stuff without asking? I guess according to my room-mate, it has. I have two fans in our room, it gets REALLY hot because we don't have air conditioning. But, i'll come back from class, walk into the heat wave, and see BOTH of my fans off. Awesome. On top of that, sometimes they're randomly moved around. Yeah, that's cool, just move my shit without asking me, i'm TOTALLY cool with that. On top of that, go ahead and use the fridge and microwave THAT I PAID FOR, BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T ANSWER ME WHEN I ASKED IF YOU WANTED TO SPLIT THE COST without asking me too. I'm totally cool with that. FUCK YOU.
5)He's lost two room keys already. Yeah, there's two room keys that lead into our room that he's just *lost*. Great. Random people potentially have access to our room. Did I forget to mention that I woke up at 5:30 one morning and our door was open? Yeah, that's just REAL wonderful.
The worst part? All of this shit is outlined in our room-mate contract, but it seems that the contract is just a "whatever" thing. Great. Awesome.
On a somewhat brighter note:
He's not in the room much, so I don't have to deal with it all the time, but It's still *Really* annoying when I do have to deal with it. I wear headphones when he's in the room. I don't even CONSIDER music if he's trying to sleep, even with headphones on. I keep to myself, I don't EVER touch his stuff, I'm quiet, and I follow all the rules of our room-mate contract.
I'm not a hard person to live with, I'm quiet, I keep to myself, and I won't bother you. I don't get why someone has to be such a dick.
I feel a little better, but trust me, there's quite a bit more I could go on about, I just don't want to find a knife and stab him right now.
the way I see it, there's 5 options:
1. Get my RA involved. I'm not really interested in 'talking it out' though. I don't really like him at all in the first place, and i get the feeling that it's mutual.
2. Go to my RA and ask for a room switch. The only problem here is that I might lose my loft (which I paid like 200 for), and I might have to move into a hall that's not the style of dorm I like (hard to explain, but anyways)
3. Try to talk it out with him. Again, he's not really receptive in the first place, seems like a waste of time.
4. Kill myself. I won't, for a multitude of reasons.
5. Drop out of college. I won't, again for a multitude of reasons.
Anyways. Because I really hate having ALL bad blogs, enjoy this awesome AMV that I was shown on thursday. Advice, comments, whatever is welcome, i just REALLY needed to get this out of my system.
You are right, the rest of humanity should look up to you, people who cant say shit about whats bothering them. And instead considering going behind the jerk's back and having other people solve your problems.
But honestly speaking this kid does seem like a jackass. Get a room switch if you can help it. From your account it doesn't seem like this kid deserves someone like you (who's been lenient) as a roommate.
On September 27 2009 01:34 Cloud wrote: You are right, the rest of humanity should look up to you, people who cant say shit about whats bothering them. And instead considering going behind the jerk's back and having other people solve your problems.
I'm not trying to point out a problem with humanity. Also, I have very low self esteem. Grats, thanks for pointing out my flaws, If I tell people something they say is bothering me, then I feel horrible because I feel like i'm imposing on how they feel or what they do, something I don't like to do. It just wont happen :/.
Edit:
Caller, I actually DO like some rap, Dre and 2pac, and some of the older rap, but the crap he listens to isn't even rap, it's just like a beat with some guy talking about how awesomely fly he is and how he gets women, I'll try to find one of his songs on youtube, hang on.
See, your problem is that you're being super negative, while your roomie is positive. Negative and positive attract. So what you need to do is either being really positive, or for your roomie to become really negative, so that you repel each other. I can't say exactly who will go flying thru the wall, but that's the basic physics of it.
On September 27 2009 01:43 Chef wrote: See, your problem is that you're being super negative, while your roomie is positive. Negative and positive attract. So what you need to do is either being really positive, or for your roomie to become really negative, so that you repel each other. I can't say exactly who will go flying thru the wall, but that's the basic physics of it.
Wait, Psycho from SEN? Omg dude it's been forever~
Anyways, I like this. I might try it rofl. Thanks.
do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
honestly, i've done shit to annoy my roommate and housemates unintentionally before. If they never came to talk to me about it, then I probably wouldn't have figured it out or figured it out after a long time. Just be clear about what you want from him by talking to him every time he does something unreasonable to annoy you otherwise he'll never learn and you'll continued to be pissed off.
On September 27 2009 01:46 infinity21 wrote: do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
Not always, but there was one time where I was trying to study for a test and asked him 3 times to turn it down, all the times he turned it down, but then just slowly turned it back up untill it was at a high volume once again. That being said, by the time the 3rd one hit, I was already playing my own music with headphones on so It wasn't as big of a deal.
you didnt even have to expain all the other stuff, I woulda wanted to switch the first time he put on any sort of rap music. fuck that if he cant even wear headphones.
Fuck him, just yell at him. Tell him to pay for half the fucking microwave and fridge or fuck off. He can go bug his friends. That is bullshit.
And a note about rap music. This shit on the radio is not fucking music. Its bragging with a subwoofer in the background. Lil wayne is such trash, but don't hate all rap for it, there is some good stuff. I used to listen to Dead Celebrity Status and Fort Minor. That's good rap. I never listened to biggie/tupac so I have no comment on them.
Just bitch out your roommate, he sounds like a faggot, try to get a room change that is similar to what you have now. Maybe one of your friends has a shitty roommate too? It could work out. If I had a roommate I'd be cool with him using my shit, as long as he wasn't a douche and we got along but if hes a fuck treat him like that.
If I tell people something they say is bothering me, then I feel horrible because I feel like i'm imposing on how they feel or what they do, something I don't like to do.
You have to get over this. You have every right to tell him if you consider his actions rude or inconsiderate.
As Cloud implied and infinity21 said, you need to communicate with him and work this shit out. I imagine that neither of you have lived in a situation like this before, you're both not sure where the lines are supposed to be drawn, so talk to him and draw them.
Are you kidding me? I had to roommate with a fat hairy guy who would get drunk 5 times a week and run around screaming naked through the halls and through the dorms. One time he fell on my desk corner and bled all over the floor and my desk. He broke countless objects and he smelled.
When he wasn't drunk he would grab a bunch of his loser friends together and fast forward to the rape scenes in his collection of movies. After we were finally split up, he would still get drunk and beat on my door shouting obscenities at the top of his generously endowed lungs at 2am for months afterward.
You kids must be fucking pussies today. Look, this kid isn't going to respond to your passive aggressive shit. Nor is he going to miraculously start to care what you think. Tell him to turn his music down or use headphones. If he doesn't know how to use headphones, teach him. If he refuses to use them, turn off his radio. If he won't listen, get angry. Throw his shit out of your fridge. Unplug your microwave. If the guy doesn't fall in line (and I doubt he will), you can now say you've done everything and now you REQUEST A NEW ROOM! Preferably with a friend.
Life is too short to live with someone you can't stand.
On September 27 2009 01:46 infinity21 wrote: do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
Not always, but there was one time where I was trying to study for a test and asked him 3 times to turn it down, all the times he turned it down, but then just slowly turned it back up untill it was at a high volume once again. That being said, by the time the 3rd one hit, I was already playing my own music with headphones on so It wasn't as big of a deal.
did you tell him to KEEP it down after the 2nd time? why not go up to him and say something like "dude, if i ask you to turn down the music, i'm asking you to KEEP it down for the rest of the night". It seems like your problem is that when your roommate is being a jackass and not being reasonable, you don't go talk to him about what you were actually asking from him vs what he's actually doing for you.
Sit down with him and tell him what exactly you expect from him. For instance, the one of the first things me and my housemates talked about were the ground rules and sleeping schedule so that we don't play music loudly after 12. We talked about splitting grocery costs, alcohol cost, etc. and we communicated to each other so everyone's happy.
so my advice to you is, be CLEAR and SPECIFIC about what you expect from your roommate. Know what you expect from him and what he expects from you. I don't think I need to tell you this bit but be reasonable in the discussions (e.g. you can tell him to put on headphones on weekdays and he complains that it has no bass or something. Then you can suggest to get those in-ear ear phones that have pretty good bass. telling him to go fuck himself probably won't work). You should also be willing to make some sacrifices for the sacrifices that your roommate is making. Make him use headphones on weekdays and let him use his subwoofer on fri/sat (or w/e dates are good for you). If he keeps up his end of the deal, you can start rewarding him by telling him when you don't have to do hw so he can play his music and whatnot. Or if you really hate his shit, maybe you have to tell him to use headphones the whole time cause you can't stand his music. Be honest with him because if you make compromises on that front, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot.
I personally think you just need to step up and be stern with him. He's not gonna mutate into some 40ft monster that will decapitate you if you decide to yell at him. In fact, if you never show your anger, or get the point across that what he is doing is bullshit, then he will just continue to walk all over you.
The next time he blasts music while you are trying to sleep, just get up , shut it off completely, and let him know the next time he acts like a fuckwad, the consequences will be much worse. You don't have to try and fight the guy, but showing dominance, and letting him know that you don't deal with bullshit will probably make him think twice the next time. Getting angry at someone and yelling at them is healthy sometimes, and it lets the guy know that you are a man, not just a boy he can step on. Either way, goodluck!
(I work out of town, and usually have to share a hotel room with other workers, so I know from experience how bad ppl can be. Just gotta be stern, and stick to it.)
On September 27 2009 01:46 infinity21 wrote: do you bitch at him every time he does something retarded?
like for instance, you ask him to turn down the music and he turns it down just a little bit, do you tell him to put on his head phones? if not, then it's just as much your fault as it is his. You have to communicate what you want clearly.
If you tell him to put on his headphones and he refuses, then you have a case to take to your RA for a room switch.
Not always, but there was one time where I was trying to study for a test and asked him 3 times to turn it down, all the times he turned it down, but then just slowly turned it back up untill it was at a high volume once again. That being said, by the time the 3rd one hit, I was already playing my own music with headphones on so It wasn't as big of a deal.
did you tell him to KEEP it down after the 2nd time? why not go up to him and say something like "dude, if i ask you to turn down the music, i'm asking you to KEEP it down for the rest of the night". It seems like your problem is that when your roommate is being a jackass and not being reasonable, you don't go talk to him about what you were actually asking from him vs what he's actually doing for you.
Sit down with him and tell him what exactly you expect from him. For instance, the one of the first things me and my housemates talked about were the ground rules and sleeping schedule so that we don't play music loudly after 12. We talked about splitting grocery costs, alcohol cost, etc. and we communicated to each other so everyone's happy.
so my advice to you is, be CLEAR and SPECIFIC about what you expect from your roommate. Know what you expect from him and what he expects from you. I don't think I need to tell you this bit but be reasonable in the discussions (e.g. you can tell him to put on headphones on weekdays and he complains that it has no bass or something. Then you can suggest to get those in-ear ear phones that have pretty good bass. telling him to go fuck himself probably won't work). You should also be willing to make some sacrifices for the sacrifices that your roommate is making. Make him use headphones on weekdays and let him use his subwoofer on fri/sat (or w/e dates are good for you). If he keeps up his end of the deal, you can start rewarding him by telling him when you don't have to do hw so he can play his music and whatnot. Or if you really hate his shit, maybe you have to tell him to use headphones the whole time cause you can't stand his music. Be honest with him because if you make compromises on that front, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot.
I understand what you're saying, and I would agree with you, but at this point, I don't really know *what* on my end to give him. If he goes to bed, I go to bed, end of story. The second the door opens, I put on headphones and keep my shit down to a very respectable level. If I get a phone call, I go out to our commons to take it. If he needs to work on homework I leave the room. I understand that obvsiously me being as passive as I am probably doesn't help this situation at all.
However, our room-mate contract outlines shit pretty clearly. Maybe I need to bring that up again, I understand, trust me, that this is partially my fault.
Thanks dude.
Edit: And yes, I did tell him the second time that I was trying to fucking study and that he needed to keep it down.
If you're making so much sacrifices on your end already, you can bring that up when you go talk to him today
it sounds like you haven't done THAT much wrong other than being a bit less assertive than you should've been. This will only support your case if you end up going to talk to your RA.
On September 27 2009 02:12 infinity21 wrote: If you're making so much sacrifices on your end already, you can bring that up when you go talk to him today
He's going out partying and probably won't be back till tomorrow at the earliest. If I could I would .
On September 27 2009 02:03 alffla wrote: lol u gotta tell ur roomate what u dont like mannnnn
yeah srsly. You can't just assume everyone is 100% courteous the same way you are. How should he know it bothers you if you don't show that it bothers you? You try to make light of it and so he probably thinks its no big deal for you.
you sound like kind of pushover, if you're going to let people take advantage of you, of course you're not going to be happy, its your own fault
tell his ass to a) not touch your shit b) start being responsible c) not play loud music d) be more considerate and if he doesnt do these things then you threaten actual action
from what it sounds like this guy right now has no idea you are even mad at him because of your super weak passive aggressive nature
I bet you release your frustration here because your "friend" is a big gorilla and you don't even dare to tell him that he such an ass. Get in shape and kick him in the butt. :p
On September 27 2009 01:52 Kaialynn wrote: Also, this is some of the stuff he listens too, i don't know if people like this or not. I personally think it's terrible but w/e.
On September 27 2009 03:15 Altair wrote: I bet you release your frustration here because your "friend" is a big gorilla and you don't even dare to tell him that he such an ass. Get in shape and kick him in the butt. :p
Umm, I could kick his ass with both my hands tied behind my back, although I'm more or less a pacifist sooooo >.>
Last year I HATED my roommate. He was a wigger who only listened to three rap songs the entire fucking year, on full fucking blast, even when i was sleeping. We talked a few times like the first week or two to "get to know eachother" and i realized he was a fucking idiot.
Halfway through the year, maybe around February he found out the power of marijuana. So, every night at 2-3 in the morning, he would go smoke a blunt, come back to the room, turn on the lights, turn on comedy central loud as a mother fucker, WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP. He even knew I had to get up at like 9:00 and he wouldn't pass out (WITH THE TV ON) until like 5:00 so I wouldn't fall asleep until like 5:20 because I had to turn the TV off myself.
I started to hate him more and more every day, and I was so tempted to put drugs in his shit and report it to the RA and get him kicked out. Needless to say, I never went that far because I did catch him cheating on his girlfriend one night, so he tried to be nicer to me and more respective of my shit to try to persuade me not to tell his girlfriend.
On September 27 2009 03:26 CaucasianAsian wrote: Last year I HATED my roommate. He was a wigger who only listened to three rap songs the entire fucking year, on full fucking blast, even when i was sleeping. We talked a few times like the first week or two to "get to know eachother" and i realized he was a fucking idiot.
Halfway through the year, maybe around February he found out the power of marijuana. So, every night at 2-3 in the morning, he would go smoke a blunt, come back to the room, turn on the lights, turn on comedy central loud as a mother fucker, WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP. He even knew I had to get up at like 9:00 and he wouldn't pass out (WITH THE TV ON) until like 5:00 so I wouldn't fall asleep until like 5:20 because I had to turn the TV off myself.
I started to hate him more and more every day, and I was so tempted to put drugs in his shit and report it to the RA and get him kicked out. Needless to say, I never went that far because I did catch him cheating on his girlfriend one night, so he tried to be nicer to me and more respective of my shit to try to persuade me not to tell his girlfriend.
So out of curiousity, did you say anything to him, or are you like me and are passive agressive?
I suggest making it look like an accident, like accidentaly tripping over and bumping into him causing him to fly backwards down flight of stairs. If that's not cool with your conscience then strangle him with your bare hands and claim temporary insanity because of too much Lloyd Banks. If you're just out to kill him though, push him off a very tall building and yell: "Yeah, you're so fly!" after him.
Good luck to you, kind ser.
Oh just remembered, try to find out where he comes from, then go meet his parents and dig up some dirty secrets of him. Blackmail can be loads of fun.
Well I never really blew up on him, but I said things like "yo man, Ima try to get some sleep, mind if you turn off the TV or turn it really low?" He would say "oh shit man, yea sorry." Then five minutes later, it's just as loud as it was before. But I was more like you. Seriously ask your RA if you can move rooms, I wish I did.
On September 27 2009 03:32 CaucasianAsian wrote: Well I never really blew up on him, but I said things like "yo man, Ima try to get some sleep, mind if you turn off the TV or turn it really low?" He would say "oh shit man, yea sorry." Then five minutes later, it's just as loud as it was before. But I was more like you. Seriously ask your RA if you can move rooms, I wish I did.
I agree with some of the people that I need to try and talk it out, and I will try to talk it out, but if I can't work out things i'm going to see an RA. It's just not worth my time.
On a brighter note, I just got my grade back for my Micro class, Second in the class~~~ I hate whoever was first
Yeah some people behave like this. You can't be passive with them. You have be direct, angry, dominant. They have to know they are pissing you off and they have to know you are not going to take it. They litterally need to fear for their well-being before they respond.
I had a roomate who would piss all over the bathroom and never clean anything so I starting pissing in his room. I would piss on his chair, pillow, and laundry. He caught on pretty quick.
Or what you can try, when he is trying to sleep, wake up early and tune into OGN/MBC Game/ GOM at like 4-5 in the morning, and blast the shit on high volume, making sure you don't miss the screaming of the commentators.
it's funny, but the impression I get from reading this is I'd vastly prefer living with him than with you, even though the retarded rap would be a little tough to bear.
On September 27 2009 03:42 Liquid`Drone wrote: it's funny, but the impression I get from reading this is I'd vastly prefer living with him than with you, even though the retarded rap would be a little tough to bear.
Haha~~ I'm sure some people who've posted would probably agree with you too.
Dude...you do realize that the standard procedure for EVER lending your phone to anyone not within a circle of friends you're familiar with (or just outright don't know) involves setting your phone on fucking ANONYMOUS?
On September 27 2009 03:42 Liquid`Drone wrote: it's funny, but the impression I get from reading this is I'd vastly prefer living with him than with you, even though the retarded rap would be a little tough to bear.
You say that now to spite the op and because you want to appear macho viking hurr durr, but if you actually had to live with an asshole like the guy described, you'd end up punching him in the face. :p
On September 27 2009 03:52 PH wrote: Dude...you do realize that the standard procedure for EVER lending your phone to anyone not within a circle of friends you're familiar with (or just outright don't know) involves setting your phone on fucking ANONYMOUS?
Sorry, you deserved that one.
Trust me, I learned that lesson HARD. But again, the way he asked me was "Yo I left my phone at my friends house, can I call him up real quick?" "Yeah sure" I was also playing a game on iCCup at the time so that didn't help things :x.
why is passive aggessive so looked down upon i would say its more intelligent and tasteful than being simply aggressive to be fair, passive-aggressive doesnt even fit the OP; he is just not acting on impulse, which, I think is a rather important human trait
Everything you've written sounds like no big deal. Really, you just sound like a passive aggressive nerd. I hope you can convert to the lifestyle of "no big deal" which is critical to enjoying life with a roommate.
On September 27 2009 05:00 phosphorylation wrote: why is passive aggessive so looked down upon i would say its more intelligent and tasteful than being simply aggressive to be fair, passive-aggressive doesnt even fit the OP; he is just not acting on impulse, which, I think is a rather important human trait
btw what is the ethnicity of this roomate
It's better to just tell someone they're doing something that bothers you, than just be a passive aggressive or "tasteful" bitch and suffer.
Can't believe people think this is no big deal. I would be very fucking annoyed if I had to put up with this roomate. And I am sure you wouldn't be so happy either. I think it was wise for him to avoid confrontation until now, but now seems like a good time to do something about it.
Pann: I am pretty sure OP told the roommate that these things were bothering him. IMO, it is a good thing that he has tried remain civilized while doing so. Since this clearly hasn't affected this roomate, the OP now has to take more direct measures.
That blows dude. Freshman year I had a very similar roommate.
When it happens every day for a semester or year, hearing someone else's music all the time and getting your sleep disrupted/not being able to fall asleep gets in your head hardcore. At the end of freshman year I was honestly contemplating ways I could murder my roommate without getting caught.
It sucks really bad, but don't just lose faith in humanity as a result. Just direct all your hatred at this guy lol. You just gotta figure out ways to make it work. Like either be firm and get him to stop playing music out loud, and if he refuses, when he's not in the room open up the speakers and cut a wire or something. Throw his ipod out the window and he'll think he lost it, etc.
These are pretty sinister things but I know how ridiculously mind-numbing it gets with a roommate like that.
On September 27 2009 05:05 Chill wrote: Everything you've written sounds like no big deal. Really, you just sound like a passive aggressive nerd. I hope you can convert to the lifestyle of "no big deal" which is critical to enjoying life with a roommate.
I've lived with the lifestyle of "no big deal" for a while. It's just when it continually happens, starts cutting into my study/sleeping time is when I start to draw the line. When he's in the room and plays music, and it's say, 2 or 3ish, I could give a shit. I'm doing my own things, and have my own life. It's when it's at 12, 12:30, 1, or 2 am and i'm trying to sleep that it starts bugging me.
On September 27 2009 05:08 phosphorylation wrote: Can't believe people think this is no big deal. I would be very fucking annoyed if I had to put up with this roomate. And I am sure you wouldn't be so happy either. I think it was wise for him to avoid confrontation until now, but now seems like a good time to do something about it.
Pann: I am pretty sure OP told the roommate that these things were bothering him. IMO, it is a good thing that he has tried remain civilized while doing so. Since this clearly hasn't affected this roomate, the OP now has to take more direct measures.
Just found out that neither of my RA's nor my room-mate are gonna be here today :/ realll fun stuff lemme tell you.
Edit: Also, serious question...how exactly do I do this? when his music is loud do I just say like "I'm trying to sleep, stfu?" or what? I have NO idea what to do when it comes to this crap :/
lol I hope posting it here did help you to somehow release part of your anger ...
but yea, tell him that playing music at 1 am while your roommate is sleeping is definitely not a cool thing to do ... one day when you're both at home, just give him a tap in the back (not a gay one) and say "Dude you mind if we talk for a while?" ... and be like "Let's be honest now k? You see ... *insert complaints*" ... If he's decent enough, he'll understand and try to fix it ...
you see, i'm not saying that he's totally in the wrong here ... but you're not either ... you guys are just different, and probably can't get along ... maybe it's okay for him to lend you his phone so that you can call all of your friends in the States asking if they have your phone, or for you to use his stuffs without his consent ... maybe that's how he looks at things ...
On September 27 2009 01:52 Kaialynn wrote: Also, this is some of the stuff he listens too, i don't know if people like this or not. I personally think it's terrible but w/e.
On September 27 2009 05:05 Chill wrote: Everything you've written sounds like no big deal. Really, you just sound like a passive aggressive nerd. I hope you can convert to the lifestyle of "no big deal" which is critical to enjoying life with a roommate.
On September 27 2009 05:05 Chill wrote: Everything you've written sounds like no big deal. Really, you just sound like a passive aggressive nerd. I hope you can convert to the lifestyle of "no big deal" which is critical to enjoying life with a roommate.
I've lived with the lifestyle of "no big deal" for a while. It's just when it continually happens, starts cutting into my study/sleeping time is when I start to draw the line. When he's in the room and plays music, and it's say, 2 or 3ish, I could give a shit. I'm doing my own things, and have my own life. It's when it's at 12, 12:30, 1, or 2 am and i'm trying to sleep that it starts bugging me.
Don't stand for this. If getting your roommate to quit with the things disturbing your sleep cycle doesn't work, you really should change your room (or kick your roommate out). I had a similar situation before, and it is miserable not being able to sleep or relax in your own room. It will take a huge toll on your school performance, general health, and drive you borderline psychotic if you aren't already.
You should strongly push for getting yourself a different roommate (or a single). As far as my past experience goes, my roommate only got worse and worse throughout the year. Only way to deal with some of these more inconsiderate and clueless people who can't seem to listen to your cues is to just get the fuck away from them.
Roommate contract, RA, HRL, kitchen knife - use whatever method possible to get away from your current roommate.
I've done far worse things to roommates just to get a room to myself. I typically don't have one for longer than a week or two, I've spent most of college living alone in dorm rooms.
I've lived with other people before too (thankfully not room sharing though, because I have way too many books for anyone to share a room with me.) The only time I utterly lost it with a couple of house mates was when they consistently for over a month came in drunk off their asses at 4-5am and clattered around/fell asleep with the stereo on full volume. I asked them politely at first (first two weeks.) to turn the music off because I had to get up at 7am for work. After the second week of them ignoring my requests I began asking more firmly and when they'd fall asleep I'd actually go up to the room and unplug the stereo (They were all passed out drunk and didn't even notice me do it.)
By the last week I had a massive row with them in the middle of the night where they told me I was a bad housemate for keeping to myself and not socializing enough (Which was because I don't drink and had a job on top of my studies. They were all rugby/chav types who just wanted to go to the pub. Nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't mean I'm a bad person for choosing not to join them.)
Luckily by this time my Mum (who moved to the city without telling me because she fell in love with it.) had moved in round the corner. So I went to sleep at hers for the night and then the next morning found out one housemate was moving out to live in a spare room at his other friends' house and the other was dropping out. I got a text message a few months later from one of them apologizing for that night.
The people who moved in after them were thankfully much nicer. I don't begrudge people much - a bit of messiness is fine, friends coming over is no problem of course, but making noise in the middle of the night is the one thing which I hate. It's just so inconsiderate of everyone around you.
(Oh and in my first year there was a girl living next door in my halls who would play music and then go out all night with it still on. So I basically moved in to the 24/7 computer room down the road and left rock music on for 48 hours straight. I was the room at the end of the hall so it would only be loud through the wall connecting our rooms. She stopped playing music after that. I had tried talking to her about it before, but all I got in return was a faceful of screeching swear words.) A bit petty, but it was worth it.
I agree with most of the other comments, be firm and fair, but if that doesn't work then bring up the contract and contact whoever is in authority over that kind of issue.
I wanted to not be someone who was just walked all over, so I sat him down and laid it out. Unfortunatly, he was on *some* sort of *something* and after carefully going over the rules with him, he forgot them within well...about 24 hours. I asked him a few times to turn it down, blah blah blah. Nothing really worked, I continued to press on it (albeit politely) and nothing really happened.
I went and saw an RA yesterday, they said that since i've tried that I can either
A) Find a friend that I can move in with, who has an open spot, or whatever...it's complicated apparently...
B) Ask him if he wants to move in with someone else so I don't move, but he does.
C) I can see the Advisor for our hall and start the process of getting a new room, which again, is apparently complicated.
D) Sit down with him *and* an RA and try to work things out. I probably won't do this just because we really, really just don't work as room-mates.
Thanks for your advice guys(and girls!), i'll probably do some followups as things continue to go into motion.
Edit: Before it sounds like I hate people who do drugs/drink/whatever. I don't, I was just pointing out that whatever it was he was currently on apparently gave him memory loss. He says he doesn't even remember our conversation ;/
My freshman year I also had a roommate with a terrible aversion to headphones. However, my case was not nearly as bad as yours (in your situation I would probably kill myself; the rap music emanating from the rooms of other people in the hall is bad enough), since the only thing he listened to / watched was lots and lots of anime. Now, at the beginning of the year he usually went to bed at the same time as me (~10) and when he stayed up later it was usually to study.
However, as the year progressed, he would stay up increasingly later and almost every night would be watching anime without headphones. After a certain period of time listening to four-year-old voice actors this started to become rather irritating. I made a few attempts to convey that I would like him to wear headphones, and while he would put them on, subsequent nights saw him completely disregard any thought of wearing them.
I suppose I'm passive-aggressive, but once I'd told him once I shouldn't have had to constantly repeat myself. And I would think it would be common courtesy, like not turning lights on in the morning while I'm trying to sleep (which I never did to him), or... well, pretty much everything else he did. Eventually, though, I developed the ability to tune out the high-pitched squealing of his favorite shows, something I doubt you'll be able to do with this rap shit.
And I have a single this year. It's the most wonderful experience. Granted, there is still the obnoxious bass which shakes my walls pouring from the hall, and people screaming and slamming doors long after quiet hours are in effect, but I'd say much of the headache from last year has been mitigated.
Moral of the story: get a fucking single at the first opportunity and you won't have to live with an asshole.
1. The first semester / year is a crap-shoot. Everybody knows this. Get to know other people and room with them in the future. 2. Loud music can be annoying when it interferes with sleep. Talk to him about it. Also may be worth trying earplugs and / or noise cancelling headphones. 3. The rest of your complaints are pretty petty: he moves your fan? oh no, how to move it back?!?! he printed 25 pages after asking you? the nerve! He asked to borrow your phone and then used it TO FIND HIS OWN DAMN PHONE (not social calls!)? what a bitch! etc. etc.
Also, the idea that there is "special contract" between roommates is silly. As long as there is no theft / physical violence, nobody (RA or otherwise) will get involved.
Op needs to grow some balls. I live in a house with 5 other guys. One of these guys is a white guy from trinidad that smokes weed all day. I've had to tell him off a couple times. Hes still an idiot, but atleast hes less annoying.
The guy you're living with doesn't seem like such a terrible person. Obviously there's a conflict of interests, but it's probably just his personality, a lot of people tend to "take as much as they can get" so to speak, and that can make it difficult for someone who doesn't do something similar.
There's two ways to go about this that have to do with actually dealing with the guy (and not the RA's or residence office or anything.)
You can either let him know, but then if it's this many things and you try to let him know about everything he'll just think you're some bitchy kid, and you guys would never get along really, and it'd be a boring semester (or year if you have to live with him for that long.)
You need to establish some kind of rapport with him, that's probably the most important thing with people with personalities like his. Find something you guys have in common, he's probably hanging out with a bunch of friends, but you still live with him. The football season is on now, do you like football? maybe he does... There's a lot of great MMA fights coming up you can watch that. Maybe he plays the same sports you do? Basketball? The NBA starts soon, if he listens to rap he's likely to follow that or football >_>. If all else fails take him to one of the parties you go to, or just watch some Family guy on TV or something, or some console games etc etc. Once you establish a rapport in which you guys actually interact, it will be a lot easier for you to make him acknowledge your personal space without instigating a conflict via a passive-aggressive attitude, and the problem will dissolve.
I completely disagree with the guy who suggested trying to get a single room... Dorming is treating me great so far, you just have to learn to handle these type of things, it will help you develop a character which doesn't telegraph "push-overism", when you're really just trying to be considerate (not saying you do, but it sounds like it may be something of this sort.)
establish yourself as the alpha male. if you let him walk over you, then he'll walk over you. instead of making a blog about it on tl, just be a man and take a stand.
On October 01 2009 14:22 Kiarip wrote: Living with a roommate is great in all honesty.
The guy you're living with doesn't seem like such a terrible person. Obviously there's a conflict of interests, but it's probably just his personality, a lot of people tend to "take as much as they can get" so to speak, and that can make it difficult for someone who doesn't do something similar.
There's two ways to go about this that have to do with actually dealing with the guy (and not the RA's or residence office or anything.)
You can either let him know, but then if it's this many things and you try to let him know about everything he'll just think you're some bitchy kid, and you guys would never get along really, and it'd be a boring semester (or year if you have to live with him for that long.)
You need to establish some kind of rapport with him, that's probably the most important thing with people with personalities like his. Find something you guys have in common, he's probably hanging out with a bunch of friends, but you still live with him. The football season is on now, do you like football? maybe he does... There's a lot of great MMA fights coming up you can watch that. Maybe he plays the same sports you do? Basketball? The NBA starts soon, if he listens to rap he's likely to follow that or football >_>. If all else fails take him to one of the parties you go to, or just watch some Family guy on TV or something, or some console games etc etc. Once you establish a rapport in which you guys actually interact, it will be a lot easier for you to make him acknowledge your personal space without instigating a conflict via a passive-aggressive attitude, and the problem will dissolve.
I completely disagree with the guy who suggested trying to get a single room... Dorming is treating me great so far, you just have to learn to handle these type of things, it will help you develop a character which doesn't telegraph "push-overism", when you're really just trying to be considerate (not saying you do, but it sounds like it may be something of this sort.)
As funny as this sounds, we tried talking.
We. Do. Not. Have. A. Single. Common. Interest.
Not kidding here. Unless you count partying a common interest which even then i party less often and usually earlier than he does.
=/ not even TV/Console games? w.e? anyways like you said there's still partying. Nothing brings people closer together than getting trashed (as long as you remember it >_> )
On October 01 2009 15:10 Kiarip wrote: =/ not even TV/Console games? w.e? anyways like you said there's still partying. Nothing brings people closer together than getting trashed (as long as you remember it >_> )
Neither of us watch TV, he doesn't play video games. At all.
On October 01 2009 15:10 Kiarip wrote: =/ not even TV/Console games? w.e? anyways like you said there's still partying. Nothing brings people closer together than getting trashed (as long as you remember it >_> )
Neither of us watch TV, he doesn't play video games. At all.
I actually like it better when they don't have the same hobbies as me. Most hardcore gamers I meet are really socially screwy and really annoying.
Of course, meeting a cool person with the same interests equals instant friendship.
EPT
. Would be awesome if you were though~ <3!
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