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So it's been over a week since I have smoked anything (June 10th) and I am still going strong, though this past weekend was really shitty because of it. Fortunately I can blog about it instead of smoking a cig to feel better about myself. So on Friday, my friend who is an ex-smoking buddy calls me up and invites me to go deep sea fishing with him and his friend. His friend is paying for the boat, all I have to do is pay for a fishing license and bring food. Sounds really exciting but I am worried that we will get high and it will be too hard to resist when I am out on the boat. He tells me he's not going to bring any weed because his friend doesn't normally smoke, so I agree to go.
Then later on Friday, he calls me back and tells me he IS going to bring it because his friend requested it, I don't say anything but I spend the evening thinking about what I should do and if I will be able to go with them without joining in. It's an all night fishing trip, 10pm to 10am, and staying up all night makes my arthritis feel like shit. So by Saturday morning I decide that if I go, I will smoke, because I will be feeling like shit from staying up all night with weed tempting me to feel temporarily better while being able to make an excuse for myself that "it's just a one time thing". So I call him and tell him I'm not going to make it, and spend Saturday evening depressed as fuck over what I am missing out on. I love fishing but I have never been able to fish on the ocean, I've always wanted to try it out. Hell of time to quit smoking, of course I have to get invited to this shit a week afterwards.
It's not that bad though, by Sunday I was feeling better and I enjoyed spending the day with my girlfriend watching dreamhack, and I was really proud of myself for being able to say no and stay home. It's also really cool to realize that this time is the real deal and I have really quit. In the past when I've tried to quit it's always been with the condition that "I just need to quit for a few years, I'll be able to smoke again eventually", and that few years always turns into a few days. This time I am done for good, it's not something I look forward to anymore. I still get cravings to smoke, of course, but I have somehow been able to separate those cravings from my true desires. They annoy me more than anything, and I just find something to do to preoccupy myself until it passes.
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never give up, never surrender
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Good luck with your endeavors to quit
Edit: Read your first blog, answers were there :D
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Awesome, I think you made the right choice by not going out. It probably would have sucked to sit and smoke if you were hating yourself for it. More power to you man.
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Why be bummed out by not going? Just go and don't smoke, have some self-discipline not to do it. I have tons of friends that smoke cigarettes and weed and still hang out with them, it doesn't mean I have to.
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You'll never be able to truly quit, if you keep avoiding situations where you might be tempted to smoke. Besides weed isn't even addictive and if it makes your arthritis feel better, I'd say it's worth an awesome fishing trip, unless it's a really big deal for you.
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Why be bummed out by not going? Just go and don't smoke, have some self-discipline not to do it. I have tons of friends that smoke cigarettes and weed and still hang out with them, it doesn't mean I have to.
Have you ever tried to quit smoking yourself?
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On June 21 2011 00:52 TheSchwA wrote: Why be bummed out by not going? Just go and don't smoke, have some self-discipline not to do it. I have tons of friends that smoke cigarettes and weed and still hang out with them, it doesn't mean I have to.
The self discipline in this case is choosing not to go, eventually I might be able to hang out with them again, but it is too soon. It's not even just the hanging out, but stuck on boat where I cannot leave, feeling like shit from staying up all night, and having weed to tempt me. I know myself well enough that I probably wouldn't have been able to resist.
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On June 21 2011 01:01 Sotamursu wrote: You'll never be able to truly quit, if you keep avoiding situations where you might be tempted to smoke. Besides weed isn't even addictive and if it makes your arthritis feel better, I'd say it's worth an awesome fishing trip, unless it's a really big deal for you.
It's not like people are smoking weed all over the place, so I'll avoid it if I have to, it is illegal after all anyways. Weed makes my arthritis worse, it only feels better when I am high but then when it wears off it's even worse than before. My hands wouldn't even be as fucked up as they are if I hadn't been smoking weed and yes it is addictive, I don't know why people say that, anything that you form a habit doing can be addictive. I'm actually way more addicted to weed than cigs, because it is so much more enjoyable in the moment.
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When people say weed is addictive, it doesn't mean you cannot become "addicted", it simply means there is no physical withdrawal or dependence. You can become addicted to collecting stamps dude.
It just means that it's not like ciggy/heroin/booze as in you don't get fucked hard by withdrawal systems.
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Good luck man, I decided to quit smoking regular cigs last week (I do still blaze but that's only ever been an occasional thing and never became habitual. ) and it's kinda hard I must admit. I think they key for me was realizing that I can have all the fun and not miss out on any of the socializing (that I mentally associated with smoking) whilst not smoking myself. it became much easier after that.
Once again, good luck
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On June 21 2011 01:11 Treemonkeys wrote: It's not like people are smoking weed all over the place, so I'll avoid it if I have to, it is illegal after all anyways. Weed makes my arthritis worse, it only feels better when I am high but then when it wears off it's even worse than before. My hands wouldn't even be as fucked up as they are if I hadn't been smoking weed and yes it is addictive, I don't know why people say that, anything that you form a habit doing can be addictive. I'm actually way more addicted to weed than cigs, because it is so much more enjoyable in the moment. I didn't say it was addictive because it doesn't have a substance that creates a physical addiction, unlike nicotine in cigs. I've had joints before and I have never had an uncontrollable urge to smoke weed later on. I doubt weed actually damaged your hands, but if it doesn't make you feel better by all means stop smoking. You could've still gone on that fishing trip and told your friends you'll skip the weed since it makes your arthritis worse.
People might not smoke everywhere, but your friends seem to smoke and you probably hang out with them so you'll be in lots of situations with people smoking weed. If you don't want to stop hanging out with them, you got to face those situations eventually.
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On June 21 2011 02:31 N3rV[Green] wrote: When people say weed is addictive, it doesn't mean you cannot become "addicted", it simply means there is no physical withdrawal or dependence. You can become addicted to collecting stamps dude.
It just means that it's not like ciggy/heroin/booze as in you don't get fucked hard by withdrawal systems.
Have you ever tried to stop collecting stamps?
*shudder*
...
I wonder if you can get addicted to licking stamps?
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On June 21 2011 03:07 Sotamursu wrote:Show nested quote +On June 21 2011 01:11 Treemonkeys wrote: It's not like people are smoking weed all over the place, so I'll avoid it if I have to, it is illegal after all anyways. Weed makes my arthritis worse, it only feels better when I am high but then when it wears off it's even worse than before. My hands wouldn't even be as fucked up as they are if I hadn't been smoking weed and yes it is addictive, I don't know why people say that, anything that you form a habit doing can be addictive. I'm actually way more addicted to weed than cigs, because it is so much more enjoyable in the moment. I didn't say it was addictive because it doesn't have a substance that creates a physical addiction, unlike nicotine in cigs. I've had joints before and I have never had an uncontrollable urge to smoke weed later on. I doubt weed actually damaged your hands, but if it doesn't make you feel better by all means stop smoking. You could've still gone on that fishing trip and told your friends you'll skip the weed since it makes your arthritis worse. People might not smoke everywhere, but your friends seem to smoke and you probably hang out with them so you'll be in lots of situations with people smoking weed. If you don't want to stop hanging out with them, you got to face those situations eventually.
Well I can tell that it made my hands worse, for multiple reasons. One, I can actually get high and physically feel the increase in pain and restriction of movement a few hours later. Two, RA is heavily effected by diet while all the things that weed makes me crave are horrible for it. Three, the pain relief of being high has helped me to do thing that I would normally be in too much pain to do, like playing starcraft for hours, when I should take a break and let my hands rest.
I don't know how many joints you've had before, but I've been smoking for years. There was definitely a point in the early days where I only smoked on weekends and was much more responsible about it, but it eventually evolved to the point where I was smoking almost every single day. If I could go back in time I would like to be able to enjoy it more responsibly, but I have abused it so much that I simply can't do it anymore without feeling like shit.
I am also really skeptical about if it is not physically addictive, but if it is not, it most certainly physiologically addictive. I go through major cravings and major ridiculous mood swings for a couple of days after smoking, my girlfriend pointed this out to me way before I was ready to admit it.
The thing is I have done damage (likely some permanent) to my body because of it, so I am at the point where I am more than willing to throw things out including my friends, after all I only have one life to live and I have to salvage what I still can, if they will not help me be healthy there is no good reason to be around them. A small few I will probably keep after I have been away long enough to trust myself not to fall back into it, but most of them are already gone to me.
If I would show you pictures of my hands it would be easier for you to realize the dire situation I am in, it is some really fucked up shit. When people hear arthritis they thing "oh your joints hurt" but were are talking about some nasty deformation here. My grandfather spent his last years in a wheelchair unable to dress himself because of it, and that is probably what my future will look like though there is stil some hope I can get better so I have to do absolutely everything I can to work towards that which includes getting rid of most of my smoking friends. I am way too embarrassed to post pictures of them, but you can go google pictures of rheumatoid arthritis to see how nasty it is. My condition will be somewhere in between the mildest and nastiest pictures you find.
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Wow man I didn't realise it was that bad. I also didn't think you had smoked that much. Being high every day must have some pretty rough side effects. I thought you smoke maybe once a week or a couple of times a month.
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Glad to hear that you're a week in and still going strong! It's also great to hear that you were able to say no to what would have been a compromising situation. Keep it up!
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Good job, man! Just like in blog one, you got support here!
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Congratulations on staying committed to quitting man. Wish I knew you had arthritis... next time we play I'll be more mindful of taking breaks from playing.
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