So well, lets get started first.
I'm currently playing Trackmania, been playing on a high level for some time but let me first introduce how I started playing.
I missed the release of TMN ESWC, the game before Trackmania Nations Forever. In April 2008, TMNF released and I downloaded it for one thing: To play in the ESWC once.
All went well, I was some kind of a young talent and on my first lan (after only playing 7 months) I beated some guys and almost got a spot into the finals (5th place on that lan)
So I still had my goal : ESWC, which i couldn't participate because there was an agelimit. All find, I waited and waited until I had the proper age.
As you guys maybe know, 2009 didn't had any ESWC, which sucked. I thought 2010 would give me good luck, but no ESWC 2010 had no Belgian Qualifiers.
So what I have been doing in the meantime?
I've been playing other tournaments. I ended 5th once at the EMS (big tourney, 5th was nice for my first try, almost got finals). And I qualified 2x for the ESL Pro Series.
I lost both EPS tournament at the finals. I reached everytime the finals but always lost and went home with nothing. I trained lots for this but always managed to fail very hard. I actually won once a map on a big tournament without training at all.
I actually raged at last EPS final when a sudden bug flipped me upside down and made me lose 100 euros.
A bug :
So I have been on a downhill since that, I lost my motivation to practise a lot, but somehow I still had 3 lans to do. 2 belgian ones and 1 international one.
My teammate, who was belgian champ for a long time, did a break of 1 year, and (when I defeated him once at lan) managed to beat me 3x in a row on lan (all 3 lans).
Somehow I still don't believe how people can call me I had talent, which they rated me as a good player then, I know got underrated by lots of people.
Currently I ain't got a thing to do , beside some tournament which could give me some motivation, but it actually doesn't. I always manage to get me excited, but somehow I fail halfway because I keep on remembering those EPS finals and other 3 fails.
So guys, it's eSports related.
TL DR version : I love to play the game on public side (funning around in servers hunting records), but not on competition level (althought I like the competition itself) because I dissapointed myself and think I will never be as good again as I once was, A talent.
Greets,
Rob