but don't worry, as I am writing this there is no thought of actually showing it to anyone. I am not feeling that good right now and I need to do something, to keep me from doing something stupid.
So let me tell you the story about Robin me and how my life changed.
It is a hot summers night and out in the Swedish jungle a 23 year old student is visiting his parents, its probably around midnight and through his earphones Buck Schimer is narrating “Phantoms” by Dean Koontz.
To save my self from boredom, I had resubscribed my old wow-account and due to a Paladin named Hypnotized, I now ran around on my newly created undead warlock – Mesmerized and yes I am That creative...
Running around in Ghostlands feeling like king of the world (Phantom starts out great but turns horrible about halfway in) I get a message from someone and its a “smilie”.
Now... in retrospect I don't know why I thought anything else then, sigh goldseller... but somehow I check the person out.
The blood-elf mage that whispered me turned out to be a low-level like myself and not minding some chatting, we are after all playing a multiplayer game, aren't we?
I sent her back the line: “And a smile to you, mysterious person :>” and that ladies and gentlemen, is where the story takes off.
We started chatting a bit and the mage started to act weird right from the start, she was walking around in Silvermoon (blood elf capital, Huzza!) and talking how beautiful/pretty it was. (Being spoiled with AoC graphics wow hurts my soul a little, but friends in wow>alone in AoC)
She started to act more girlish and my eye's started rolling, I thought that she was a girl about as much as I believe the earth was flat. But since she never came out saying she was a girl, I didn't call her out on it... Turns out that I maybe should start questioning my science teacher, after weeks of chatting about everything between heaven and earth we decided to chat over web-cam and I know some people think cute girls don't play mmo's, ohboy are they wrong and I, I feel in love...
We talked for hours and hours, and one day about one and a half month after our first encounter she told me she was coming to visit me (the distance between us where about 2354 kilometers). I though she was a bit crazy to be honest, I mean traveling to another country to see a guy you've met on the internet. But my heart was also doing cartwheels in my chest.
Things weren't always that happy though, shortly before her she would make the trip a close friend expressed his love for her, I guess things got real for him when she told him she was traveling to Sweden to met a guy...
I don't think I've ever been this nervous before in my life... Standing at the airport with a rose in my hand my knees are shaking like never before, but as she enteres through the gate they ceased to be.
I am not sure if anyone has slow danced to Slipknots – Vermilion prt2 at the airport in Gothenburg before, we might hold a record there. So began the best week of my life, we kissed, laughed and made love, it was like a dream come true.
However nothing good ever lasts and waving her of at a bus-stop, standing alone in the street dressed in jacket and freezing nevertheless, watching her making her way back to a country where you could still run around in shorts and t-shirt, swim in the Mediterranean sea, I felt as if she took a part of me with her.
At first things continued normally and we would chat together about how she was searching for an apartment here and how I was going to travel to her coming winter.
Then she disappeared, I didn't think much of it at first but as the days went past I started to worry and due to my phone provider my only means of contacting her is through msn...
Then one night I get a message from her saying how she is missing me and feeling depressed. This had come up during our previous talks, it turned out she had a bad history of depression and had even tried to commit suicide earlier...
What can I say... I am 2354 kilometers away, busy with studies... This sounds as pity excuses to me as I writing it down, but I always figured we could talk over msn or over microphone.
It has now been almost a month since I last heard from her. I have bad dreams in which she has killed herself and left a note asking why I weren't there to hold her, to comfort her, other dreams in which she's been in an accident.
I just want to know that she is alright...