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Hey guys, this is one of my college application essays. I am planning on transferring to UNC Chapel Hill for next Fall. I didn't get in last year because I used to be a very lazy student (I got two D's in AP Classes my Junior year), but I'm trying hard to bounce back and hopefully the admissions office will see that. But I got straight As this past semester and hopefully my audition will be good enough for the music school to pull strings to get me into the university. I think I want to major in English or Creative writing and if I get a scholarship in music I'll double major.
Anyway here's the essay (should be approximately 500 words): We tend to spend our time doing the things we know we do well—running because we’re good runners, or painting because we’re talented artists. Tell us about a time when you tried something for which you had no talent. How did it go? + Show Spoiler + “This is Andrew, a freshman. He's my most talented student!” Those were the words that my sax teacher uttered to a gentleman who had just congratulated me on my success at the 42nd concerto competition that my college held. I thought to myself “if he [my teacher] only knew.” I ruminated back to my first year of band in sixth grade, when I was the straggling student feebly attempting to make a sound on the saxophone. Unfortunately, things didn't get any better. In eighth grade I remembered how upset I was when I was the only one rejected from the eighth grade band, and had to play in the seventh grade band for another year. Ninth grade, I was last chair in the lowest ensemble in the high school band. For the longest time, I grew up believing that people were born skillful or not. One has no choice in these decisions. It is through evolution and random chance that we are given skills, and we can do nothing about the things we are bad at, other than coping with it and moving on. It is because of this belief that people are okay with being mediocre. Their ego can't be bruised because they can just conclude that the one who came out on top is more “talented.” Much of my early life was full of disappointment and sadness due to the aforementioned mindset. I remember getting a D in an AP English class and my excuses were “The teacher was tough, and I'm Korean so therefore I am naturally bad at English.” A pivotal moment came to my life when I went to a saxophone concert with my friend featuring the living legend Branford Marsalis. At the time I had no idea who this guy was or what to expect. The concert was phenomenal. The music he played poured my heart and I felt blessed that I was playing the same instrument as him. I came home and all I wanted to do was to sound as good as him. I bought all his CDs and tried to imitate him as much as possible. I listened to him during school. And some days I would practice nine hours just so I could be just like Branford. That is not to say that my path to success was easy. I failed to make my high school district honor band three years in a row. I remember seeing that my friends who only practiced 30 minutes a day would get much higher scores than me at those competitions too. That didn't matter though. My mind set had changed. Instead of thinking “Life is unfair, they're just more talented” I thought to myself “I just need to work five times harder than they do.” And it was with that mindset that I was able to achieve the things that I have. I won an opportunity to study at Governor's school during the summer before my senior year in high school. I was accepted into a music conservatory my junior year of high school. And just recently I won my college's annual concerto competition as a freshman. In a lot of ways I am happy that I lacked such talent at the saxophone, because through it I have become a better person in general. Society tries to scream what the value of hard work is to us all, it certainly is no secret. Through Disney films I have always known that believing in yourself, and working hard are the keys to success. But now, I have finally come to understand this cliché model, and I owe it all to the saxophone.
Just thought I'd share, -StarN aka Xaser
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
awoawhoaw that was touching and very inspirational. good essay best of luck to you man! :D
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aww, nice
but i would write an essay arguing that talent is a bs excuse that people use on others who achieve things :D
if that won't get me in whatever college you're applying for, then they don't deserve me. :D
gl matey!
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The disney comment at the end seemed a bit awkward/random but other than that, I really liked it because i can really relate to it and it seems honest. =D Best of luck to you.
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On January 07 2009 00:17 EpiK wrote: The disney comment at the end seemed a bit awkward/random but other than that, I really liked it because i can really relate to it and it seems honest. =D Best of luck to you. Hmm, I agree with EpiK: you would lose nothing if you took out the three words "from Disney films" (which, by the by, don't particularly glorify hard work, as far as I remember). Also, cliche should be "cliched" if you're using it as an adjective. But it's a good essay on the whole: makes its point effectively and without wasting too many words, which is a very nice quality for essays to have.
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On January 07 2009 00:21 qrs wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2009 00:17 EpiK wrote: The disney comment at the end seemed a bit awkward/random but other than that, I really liked it because i can really relate to it and it seems honest. =D Best of luck to you. Hmm, I agree with EpiK: you would lose nothing if you took out the three words "from Disney films" (which, by the by, don't particularly glorify hard work, as far as I remember). Also, cliche should be "cliched" if you're using it as an adjective. But it's a good essay on the whole: makes its point effectively and without wasting too many words, which is a very nice quality for essays to have. Ah thanks, I've made the edit. I did it cause I wanted to emphasize how children are constantly told to "Believe in themselves" and how making it such a cliche makes it have less of an effect on people. And I thought Disney was the right medium to put that through.
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lol if they know what Branford Marsalis sounds like you're screwed
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Bleh, talent is just a bs excuse.
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Very good essay! Good luck, are you auditioning with your sax?
Btw what school are you in now?
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Yeah I'm auditioning on Saxophone. I'm at Bowling Green State University now (in Ohio). They have a good Saxophone program. But it's become way too expensive for my family to support and I need to be closer to my family, so I decided it'd be best if I went to a school with a better academic reputation and has in-state tuition. That and the fact that me and the Saxophone teacher at BG don't mix well together.
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On January 07 2009 06:14 StarN wrote: Yeah I'm auditioning on Saxophone. I'm at Bowling Green State University now (in Ohio). They have a good Saxophone program. But it's become way too expensive for my family to support and I need to be closer to my family, so I decided it'd be best if I went to a school with a better academic reputation and has in-state tuition. That and the fact that me and the Saxophone teacher at BG don't mix well together.
AAAATTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL
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