EPT
CHAPTER 2: Polls
The poll is an invaluable tool in the Poster's utility belt. Like the hammer and screwdriver, it can be used to extract useful information out of people, when handled in the right way.
It's handy to quickly quantify TL's opinion on important matters ([H]My Mom Thinks I'm Gay, Think I Should Stop Sucking Dick?) and see just how many idiots there are in this place.
Let's see what can go wrong here!
[spoiler=Part 1]Part 1: Joke Options
We've all seen them, the "Joke Options" in polls. How many times a day do you go to the bathroom? 1, 2 or CHUCK LMAO NORRIS?
If you're actually interested in the poll results, don't ever include one of these because it will always be the most popular option.
[spoiler=The Wrong Approach]
![[image loading]](http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/8051/pollof9.png)
[spoiler] No dice, Pugsley. Sit down.[/spoiler][/spoiler]
As you can see, it'll lead to an inevitable mess. You might never know just how many homophobes reside in the lush TL forests.
Just for good measure, let's take a peek at the right way.
[spoiler=The Right Approach]
Poll: How are you feeling today?
(Vote): Happy
(Vote): Fat
(Vote): Sad
(Vote): Other (please specify)
[/spoiler]
This way, you can gather a precise image of TL's general mood. Whether they're feeling happy, fat or sad (or any other basic emotions I happen to be unaware of), it'll show right there, without anything screwing it up. Marvelous![/spoiler]
[spoiler=Part 2]Part 2: Completeness
This is basically making sure your poll is valid. It's your precious little baby, and you don't want it to miss any limbs (or conversely, go all Elephant Man on you).
Let us take a gander at the wrong way.
[spoiler=The Wrong Approach]
Poll: The Next US President?
(Vote): Hillary Clinton
(Vote): George W. Bush
(Vote): Rudolph Guliani
(Vote): Ralph Nader
[/spoiler]
This poll is bad because it's missing some important candidates (like Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey), Bush can't be re-elected and Guliani is technically not human and thus ineligible.
You'll want to make sure you have an exhaustive list whenever possible (listing all possible options). When you're not sure exactly what those options should be, just ask in the thread first, create a poll based on user responses later!
[spoiler=The Right Approach]
Poll: How old was your grandmother when she died?
(Vote): 15-30
(Vote): 31-50
(Vote): 51-70
(Vote): 71-100
(Vote): 100+
(Vote): Granny ain't dead yet
[/spoiler]
Voila! Beautiful, isn't it? An exhaustive list, with no room for screwing around. Nothing but useful information and answers to life-important questions.[/spoiler]
*pulls belt buckle up a lil' bit* Well folks, that's it for today. Y'all run along now and make some dandy ass polls.
I'm not sure what the next chapter'll be yet, but man, it'll be something.
