Back in May of 2012 I graduated with 2 masters (one in library science, one in history). If you didn't know, or weren't actively searching for a job, the economy sucks. Employers are incredibly picky for almost any decent position, because they can afford to be. They also usually take forever to make a decision. In this case for fucking ever.
I don't know how many jobs I've applied to before and since I graduated. Maybe around 30? Could be 40, I'm not really sure. What I do know is that I've only had an interview for two of those jobs (99% of which are library jobs, btw). One of them was a pretty crappy temp job that I probably wouldn't have taken even if I was offered it (I wasn't). The other is almost the perfect job for me. It is very similar to what I was doing at school before I left (essentially website design and maintenance for a library). The location is perfect (close to all my friends and family, but outside the hellhole of traffic that is Atlanta). The pay is good, but not great. It is a good university that would be great for starting my career. I'm very well qualified for it, and they even prefer someone with two masters.
My first interview for that job was almost 2 weeks ago (will be two weeks tomorrow). For some perspective on how fucking long this shit can take let me review the time-line for this particular position: I applied to it back in august, I heard back about an interview in late october, I had the interview in mid november, and now I'm waiting to hear back about a second interview. I emailed the woman who would be my supervisor on the day before thanksgiving (probably not the greatest idea, but I was stressing out), and she said they were "very close" to making a decision about the second interview. Whatever the fuck that means.
I know why this is taking so long. All these jobs take forever. Everyone I know in this field says so. Everything is done by committee and people outside the interview process have to approve the actions of the interview committee. It is one big cluster-fuck of process and red-tape. This is a faculty-level position, which means it takes even longer to get through. To make matters worse, they are hiring four similar-level positions (I was only qualified for one of them, or I would have applied to more), so this process is being slowed down even more.
The worst aspect of this entire situation is that I can't do anything at all to control the outcome at this point. This job represents so much to me. It would really be a complete turnaround for my life. Right now, I'm living with my brother (which I'm lucky enough to have a great brother that would take me in), but I'm used to living on my own. I've been on my own for over ten years prior to this, and I want to get back out independently. I'm working a shit retail part-time job that I want to quit every day I go in. This job would be the culmination of the three years I spent in grad-school, a great start to my career, and basically a complete turn-around for my entire life. But I can't do anything about it but wait for them. And this is just for the second interview...
I'm trying to do things to take my mind off of it. Play some games. Apply to other jobs. Write this stupid blog. Anything to take my focus off this inbox, but I can't. This job is just too important to my life right now. It IS my life for the next few years, if I get it. I want this so bad it hurts. I want my life to get back on the track I envisioned when I was in grad-school. And the worst thing is I have no control over the outcome right now...