This reminds me of the time my friend JAcob let me sleep in his bed and I felt this "weird" boink in my back, so I checked under the matress and I found some weird diary, a sex diary. Where he's written down the names of the girls he's slept with, and a small summary of each session. Then the girls on his "want to fuck list" and a top 10 of who he'd prefer to fuck.
The next few weeks after that was really fun...
He comes in the room, I'm on the phone. He's whispers "Who you talking to?" I just quickly blurt out a random girl name. (The one at the top of his want to fuck list).
Obviously I don't tell her, but I still call her just to make things more fun lol.
And when it was my birthday, I made hand written letters to all the girls he wanted to fuck (inviting them to my birthday, yay), and the girls he had slept with. Even though I didn't know most of them.
Also made things really fun xD
Oh lol, and this other time, he had a really long dryspell. And he was really frustrated, and people at school had started calling him Gayjacob (people picked on him a bit since he was so awesome and popular, president so forth). And he was determined to crush these rumours, so he got really really wasted. And then he took home this "crazy" girl, a bit chubby, but kinda cheerful, so I guess you shouldn't pick on her, but she was famous for having the largest breasts around.
The day after he explained the whole thing in detail, and was so amazed, he never been with a crazy chick, he even took his shirt of shoving me the scars on his back, she made him bleed mid-sex scratching. Then going into details about doing it in the sofa, the bed, the shower, and the next day when he was leading her out to say goodbye they did it on the porch as well.
Anyway, this was such an awesome story. So as a good friend it'd be appropriate to share it I thougt.
When school started next monday, our first class after gym. (We had gym all the time). I rushed really fast, to get there much earlier than everyone else. I had sat my plan in motion.
So the history teacher comes in, an he always gets annoyed when there's maps pulled down over the blackboard, so we all sit down, starts to quiet down, he slams his book on his desk, he takes his arm out, and he pulls so that the map goes up while talking/facing the rest of the class.
There, behind the map. I've written the whole story, plus the name of the girl, and some dirty dialogues they had during the sex. I put on a big smile and I just watch Jacob.
I instantly see a smile, like he's thinking "so awesome, no one will get who the story is about". And seem to be enjoying it a lot as he reads, because he knows it's about him. In the middle of the story I mention his name, or around 60% in. (It was my contigency plan, in case he'd rush up erasing it right away).
His face goes from being white, to a more cherry like color, his whole face slowly turns to red. The teacher who notices all the giggles and laughs turns around and sees the story. But instead of being mad or erasing it, he starts reading it, nodding his head finding it to be a pretty good read. (At this point the whole class is roaring with laughter, even Jacob is laughing, but not the same kinda laugther as the rest of us).
Now more and more laughter ensues, because most of the fast readers have gotten to the part where I use Jacob's name. Poor Jacob, he can't hold it in any longer, he rushes up towards the blackboard, I yell and point to the spounge!! "DON'T LET HIM REACH IT". The teacher grabs it, as JAcob comes and tries to get it he throws it at the back of the classroom to another student. JAcob ignores it and starts erasing the story with his hands. But a little too late, we all already read it.
After this the teacher calms us down, "ok ok, settle down now, let's change the topic and pick up where we left off". And we semi, go back into a normal class, although an unusual amounts of smiles could be seen on the faces of most of us for the rest of the day. And the teacher couldn't hold back using a few JAcob references here and there to spice up his lecture.
Oh, and I did get a pretty large slap to the back of my head when he walked back to his desk, but I felt it was deserved, so I took it like a man. (Or might have let out a little squawk).
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