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My roommate has a diary and I was going to prank/tease him with it upon obtaining it, but I dug up more than I expected or should have after reading a few entries. I'll just post the most recent one here with the name changed:
+ Show Spoiler +
November 16, 2011, 9:02PM
Hi Sober Danny,
It’s time.
Your GF just dumped you since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your parents are on the verge of cutting you off since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your academic career is non-existent since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your future will be shitty if you stay such a pothead loser.
I know you’ve been going through a difficult time with your accident, family issues, drug abuse, and depression. Trust me, no one knows it better than I do, but drugs can only alleviate your pains and contain your sorrow in the short-term, you know of this as well as I do. Be a fucking man and face the pain that you’ve brought upon yourself, without chemical padding to desensitize you both physically and mentally.
It’s really the end of the line for you, you’ve had a good run with the whole adolescence drug-sex-party-drinking experimentation, a fucking fantastic run as a matter of fact living however the fuck you want for 3 years, but all good things eventually come to an end as the price for that lifestyle was exponentially more than you could have afforded, running into finance troubles, murdering your lungs, neglecting those that love you, throwing away a bright future… I must stop here now as I cannot even bear to reflect on the massively shitty past anymore.
Stop now, or endure a life full of obstacles in the future.
It’s now or NEVER; if the aforementioned 4 points, especially the most recent one with your ex-GF dumping you – if they do not motivate you, change you, ameliorate you for the better, then nothing ever will. So when you’re all sobered up, read this message again, think hard, and make your conscious decision, to a good life, a shitty one, or none at all.
Remember a time, many years ago, when you were truly happy, every day, all the time, without any crushing burdens that constantly choke you and drive you to resort to chemical solutions? You can have that again, all it takes is a little bit of willpower.
I believe in you, this is your time of reckoning and you will prevail.
I've since then decided to never let another soul see his diary and I've been asking him to come to the gym with me whenever I smell weed from his room. I don't know if I'd be stepping out of my boundaries if I talk to him about it as we're not that close, but today I bought extra pizza slices for him for lunch because I rarely see him go out or even come out of his room, and I know he's in a ton of credit card debt with no food in the fridge.I'm doing this because I went through the same thing, albeit my situation was not as grave as his but I still understand and can empathize with the cycle of guilt, escapism, withdrawals and self-defeatism that's so terribly difficult to break out of.
So far for the past few days, I haven't heard him snort anything yet in the next room so that's definitely a start and a great improvement, just the occasional coughs from what could only be bong hits.
I'll try to lend a helping hand whenever I can but I could only do so much so here's to hoping everything will be OK for a friend; respect and best of luck to him.
 
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Yea, you sir are an asshole for posting that journal entry of his.
On the other hand, it's good of you to watch your friend's back. Just let him know that you're there for him, and don't read his journal again, you douche.
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Whatever you do, do not tell him you read his diary, that would destroy any trust he has for you.
I could be interpreting this incorrectly, but it sounds like he is in a really bad situation.
In his situation, I don't know if talking to him directly would help. He may percieve it as a personal attack on himself. I think if I were you, the first thing I would do is contact his parents, tell them you are worried about him and certainly share the diary entry with them (ask them not to tell him they read it though). They deserve to know their son needs help. If they are good parents, they are likely to be the best people available to start building the support network he needs to get his life together, and might be able to contact a professional to advice them what to do. I think then would be the appropriate time to talk to him and tell him you are also concerned and are on his side.
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Is it only weed?
Then i doubt weed has much to do with the problem.
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I thought this was going to be about drug addiction. Weed doesn't make a person lazy, being lazy makes a person lazy. Smoking weed just makes being lazy more fun. There's no real reason he can't be a productive individual. PS try it before you knock it 
Edit: Oh thats his diary entry... I thought it was a letter you wrote him.. Um hmmmm thats weird lol. Dude just needs to buckle down and get to work.
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On November 19 2011 05:59 HardMacro wrote:My roommate has a diary and I was going to prank/tease him with it upon obtaining it, but I dug up more than I expected or should have after reading a few entries. I'll just post the most recent one here with the name changed: + Show Spoiler +
November 16, 2011, 9:02PM
Hi Sober Danny,
It’s time.
Your GF just dumped you since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your parents are on the verge of cutting you off since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your academic career is non-existent since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your future will be shitty if you stay such a pothead loser.
I know you’ve been going through a difficult time with your accident, family issues, drug abuse, and depression. Trust me, no one knows it better than I do, but drugs can only alleviate your pains and contain your sorrow in the short-term, you know of this as well as I do. Be a fucking man and face the pain that you’ve brought upon yourself, without chemical padding to desensitize you both physically and mentally.
It’s really the end of the line for you, you’ve had a good run with the whole adolescence drug-sex-party-drinking experimentation, a fucking fantastic run as a matter of fact living however the fuck you want for 3 years, but all good things eventually come to an end as the price for that lifestyle was exponentially more than you could have afforded, running into finance troubles, murdering your lungs, neglecting those that love you, throwing away a bright future… I must stop here now as I cannot even bear to reflect on the massively shitty past anymore.
Stop now, or endure a life full of obstacles in the future.
It’s now or NEVER; if the aforementioned 4 points, especially the most recent one with your ex-GF dumping you – if they do not motivate you, change you, ameliorate you for the better, then nothing ever will. So when you’re all sobered up, read this message again, think hard, and make your conscious decision, to a good life, a shitty one, or none at all.
Remember a time, many years ago, when you were truly happy, every day, all the time, without any crushing burdens that constantly choke you and drive you to resort to chemical solutions? You can have that again, all it takes is a little bit of willpower.
I believe in you, this is your time of reckoning and you will prevail.
I've since then decided to never let another soul see his diary and I've been asking him to come to the gym with me whenever I smell weed from his room. I don't know if I'd be stepping out of my boundaries if I talk to him about it as we're not that close, but today I bought extra pizza slices for him for lunch because I rarely see him go out or even come out of his room, and I know he's in a ton of credit card debt with no food in the fridge.I'm doing this because I went through the same thing, albeit my situation was not as grave as his but I still understand and can empathize with the cycle of guilt, escapism, withdrawals and self-defeatism that's so terribly difficult to break out of. So far for the past few days, I haven't heard him snort anything yet in the next room so that's definitely a start and a great improvement, just the occasional coughs from what could only be bong hits. I'll try to lend a helping hand whenever I can but I could only do so much so here's to hoping everything will be OK for a friend; respect and best of luck to him.
you dont snort marijuana what the fuck
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On November 19 2011 06:43 sebusca wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:59 HardMacro wrote:My roommate has a diary and I was going to prank/tease him with it upon obtaining it, but I dug up more than I expected or should have after reading a few entries. I'll just post the most recent one here with the name changed: + Show Spoiler +
November 16, 2011, 9:02PM
Hi Sober Danny,
It’s time.
Your GF just dumped you since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your parents are on the verge of cutting you off since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your academic career is non-existent since you’re such a pothead loser.
Your future will be shitty if you stay such a pothead loser.
I know you’ve been going through a difficult time with your accident, family issues, drug abuse, and depression. Trust me, no one knows it better than I do, but drugs can only alleviate your pains and contain your sorrow in the short-term, you know of this as well as I do. Be a fucking man and face the pain that you’ve brought upon yourself, without chemical padding to desensitize you both physically and mentally.
It’s really the end of the line for you, you’ve had a good run with the whole adolescence drug-sex-party-drinking experimentation, a fucking fantastic run as a matter of fact living however the fuck you want for 3 years, but all good things eventually come to an end as the price for that lifestyle was exponentially more than you could have afforded, running into finance troubles, murdering your lungs, neglecting those that love you, throwing away a bright future… I must stop here now as I cannot even bear to reflect on the massively shitty past anymore.
Stop now, or endure a life full of obstacles in the future.
It’s now or NEVER; if the aforementioned 4 points, especially the most recent one with your ex-GF dumping you – if they do not motivate you, change you, ameliorate you for the better, then nothing ever will. So when you’re all sobered up, read this message again, think hard, and make your conscious decision, to a good life, a shitty one, or none at all.
Remember a time, many years ago, when you were truly happy, every day, all the time, without any crushing burdens that constantly choke you and drive you to resort to chemical solutions? You can have that again, all it takes is a little bit of willpower.
I believe in you, this is your time of reckoning and you will prevail.
I've since then decided to never let another soul see his diary and I've been asking him to come to the gym with me whenever I smell weed from his room. I don't know if I'd be stepping out of my boundaries if I talk to him about it as we're not that close, but today I bought extra pizza slices for him for lunch because I rarely see him go out or even come out of his room, and I know he's in a ton of credit card debt with no food in the fridge.I'm doing this because I went through the same thing, albeit my situation was not as grave as his but I still understand and can empathize with the cycle of guilt, escapism, withdrawals and self-defeatism that's so terribly difficult to break out of. So far for the past few days, I haven't heard him snort anything yet in the next room so that's definitely a start and a great improvement, just the occasional coughs from what could only be bong hits. I'll try to lend a helping hand whenever I can but I could only do so much so here's to hoping everything will be OK for a friend; respect and best of luck to him. you dont snort marijuana what the fuck
Maybe he's concerned about something worse?
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You've overstepped some pretty big boundaries by posting this, but since you already did it...
It sounds like he's dealing with depression coupled with some family issues and basic life problems (girlfriend left, etc). Looking at this as drug addiction is the complete wrong way to do it. Marijuana is barely addictive at all, and only psychologically. Also, you can't overdose, so he's not going to die from it.
This sounds like basic self-medication, which isn't particularly healthy, but isn't the real issue. If you want to help your friend, help address the underlying problem. Don't force him to talk, but let him know he can. Be available. If the mood is right, encourage him to seek professional help.
It's almost impossible to know whether this is actually a serious problem or if he's just having a really rough week or month. Keep an eye out for anything particularly scary, but don't be too aggressive in trying to help.
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Sounds like he's going through some pretty rough times. Having a shitty friend like you who goes through his stuff and posts his most intimate confessions on the internet probably doesn't help.
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Wait.
You stole your friend's diary, and post it on the internet? That may be the most fucked up think I've read on teamliquid. And there's no lack of competition there.
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I know you had good intentions but posting his dairy on the internet imo isnt the best way to get advice to help him...
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On November 19 2011 06:14 Velr wrote:
Is it only weed?
Then i doubt weed has much to do with the problem.
My thoughts exactly. Weird that he mentions pot only as the reason in his entry and not coke or speed or something that, you know, you actually get stuck in.
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On November 19 2011 06:11 `dunedain wrote:
Yea, you sir are an asshole for posting that journal entry of his.
On the other hand, it's good of you to watch your friend's back. Just let him know that you're there for him, and don't read his journal again, you douche.
On November 19 2011 07:13 Myrkskog wrote:
Sounds like he's going through some pretty rough times. Having a shitty friend like you who goes through his stuff and posts his most intimate confessions on the internet probably doesn't help.
On November 19 2011 07:28 SlimeBagly wrote:
Wait.
You stole your friend's diary, and post it on the internet? That may be the most fucked up think I've read on teamliquid. And there's no lack of competition there.
TL of today:
dude has serious concerns about his friend; rather than trying to help, posters instead attack him. awesome.
On November 19 2011 06:14 Velr wrote:
Is it only weed?
Then i doubt weed has much to do with the problem.
On November 19 2011 06:33 Pawsom wrote:I thought this was going to be about drug addiction. Weed doesn't make a person lazy, being lazy makes a person lazy. Smoking weed just makes being lazy more fun. There's no real reason he can't be a productive individual. PS try it before you knock it
On November 19 2011 09:59 Vildhjarta wrote:
My thoughts exactly. Weird that he mentions pot only as the reason in his entry and not coke or speed or something that, you know, you actually get stuck in.
this is a common misconception. thc itself may not be as physically addictive as nicotine, but the psychological (read: feel-good) dependencies can still exist so yes, and when coupled with people with low self-control/esteem, you can easily become dependent (brain reward system).
OP, he seems to be very far along down the path of depression if he is still unable to kick the habit after all that entry. i had somewhat the same problems, and when i came to realization point of your friend, it highly motivated me to try my hardest to stop smoking and i eventually did. i tried to stop before and i couldnt and that even motivated me more because i thought it was kind of silly, kind of scary that i couldn't kick it the first time.
what the diary entry tells me is that he has no other mental escape aside from just smoking more and being in that calm state / one with himself.
getting him out and about, talking, and having his mind put hard to work on something like school is the cure. you just need a replacement 'reward' for the weed. the ability to say to yourself that you have enough self control to not smoke anymore is a powerful motivator. but again, his mind and time needs to be occupied.
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You posted your friends diary? What the actual fuck?
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All that didn't happen from smoking pot, rofl. Is this serious? Seems like he just made a bunch of fuck-ups and wants something to blame.
Like some people said, he is probably just lazy/unmotivated and thats why those problems came up.
Also, your a dick for prying into someones personal life and posting it on the internet without their permission.
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LOL are you fucking serious with this? This reads like propaganda from the 1930's its so bogged down with unfounded bullshit. THC does not produce withdrawal symptoms so saying you can "relate" is a load of crap, much like posting your friends journal entry on TL. Jesus. Titty-fucking. Christ.
I really wish I could give you a negative rating. Not even Zero stars is suitable for this kind of piss poor attempt at "helping" someone.
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On November 19 2011 10:22 a176 wrote:
TL of today:
dude has serious concerns about his friend; rather than trying to help, posters instead attack him. awesome.
Well he invaded his privacy. Not only that but he read the one spot that is sacred to a lot of people, somewhere where they can unload and write down their feelings, thoughts and basically unload in a very private place where no one else will judge them or have opinions about it. Then this guy first invaded that privacy (and that was not with any concern but in the purpose of pulling a prank(?) on him. Then he proceeds to post this online for the world to see, sure without his name but still. Kind of fucked up imo.
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I've been keeping a diary for probably 8 years now. I'd hate anyone who read, it but forgive them if they helped me with my addiction to the internet.
My parents would remove my freedoms if they were told. They're not good parents. I doubt the parents of a pothead would be better but I could be wrong. Maybe he had too much freedom as a child.
What I'd want was someone to hold me accountable. Someone else I could make a promise to that I'd not go back to my addiction. I'd forgive you if you were my friend and were just honest and then offered a helping hand saying "whatever help you need, I'll do it. Every time you want to try a drug (I don't know how to say this) give me a call. Doesn't matter when"
My Professor in Sociology, whose main career has been studying addictions, says its best to enroll in a mental health program. There might be one near you.
He should also try to identify what causes him to use drugs, identify what causes him to start using drugs, and then to develop methods of coping. Your friend will not change his personality but he can develop strategies to cope with his addiction.
He should also find another form of release so he doesn't feel like drugs are his only option.
TL:DR
Lend a helping hand and be honest.
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Thanks a176.
First of all, my friend is never going to read this blog to get angry at me, and before I took his journal I had no idea about his issues. He's never going to find out, I posted it to find out what other people would think because I'm trying to help, I really don't understand what's so fucked up about that.
Second, weed lovers, please, chill the FUCK out, I smoke myself, it's as if I titled my blog "weed ruins friend's life"; I didn't write anything expressing the opinion that all of his problems were caused by weed. I've heard him snort various things before, so it's not just weed. Also, it's well-established that weed causes psychological dependency, and also produces physical withdrawal symptoms in long-term users, lasting ~3 days and up to 6 weeks with very heavy use depending on individual sensitivity.
On November 19 2011 10:29 ins(out)side wrote:
LOL are you fucking serious with this? This reads like propaganda from the 1930's its so bogged down with unfounded bullshit. THC does not produce withdrawal symptoms so saying you can "relate" is a load of crap, much like posting your friends journal entry on TL. Jesus. Titty-fucking. Christ.
I really wish I could give you a negative rating. Not even Zero stars is suitable for this kind of piss poor attempt at "helping" someone.
LOL are you fucking serious with this? How much more ignorant can you get? At least google the subject before posting unfounded elitist bullshit.
Here, I'll even link the most unbiased page on cannabis on the web, Erowid, an encyclopedic website for drug information.
http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis_effects.shtml
WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS (after stopping heavy use)
mild to moderate, non-life-threatening withdrawal symptoms occur after daily use in some users.
Withdrawal symptoms normally last 2-4 days, up to six weeks with long term use. Severity of symptoms is related to frequency and duration of use and individual sensitivity.
anhedonia (reduced experience of pleasure)
headaches, general unease/discomfort
difficulty sleeping
desire to smoke cannabis
slight loss of appetite
finding non-stoned life a bit dull, increased boredom
fatigue, lethargy
slow thinking, talking
stoned-like abstract thinking, impatience with or annoyance at linear thinking
What I think of weed - obviously not good for you, but less harmful than ciggs and alcohol so I use it weekly. Now stop attacking me personally and focus on the issue at hand.
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1) fucked up to take someones journal, you really should never do that again ok
2) not fucked up to make the thread , i agree
3) weed can be seriously addictive and easily ruin your life almost as much as alcohol addiction
4) weed can have many effects like promoting psychosis and even depression , and anxiety
5) getting him on a gym program is honestly the best and easiest thing you can do for him (preferably daily).
personally i am an ex-alcoholic and sometimes-weed addict so i know what im talking about. i manage the weed by not smoking until ive done something in the morning eg gym. my tolerance is really low atm so its much easier for me to not want to smoke before doing anything as it makes me super fucked , anxious and psychotic. but your friend might be fine going out high idk.
i think the most instantly-rewarding thing ive done has been the "couch to 5k" program in the OP of the running thread in TLHF forum. i would take him to the gym with you one morning before smoking and make him do Day 1 of that which is 5 mins warmup then 20 mins of 60s walk / 90s jog on a threadmill. the weakest person on earth can just about manage to get through that without major discomfort, and feel good about it afterwards.
you can immediately afterwards start him on SS or a gym program on the next day.
he needs to start feeling the positive emotions related to achievement. when you are a depressed addict you are stuck in some form of "learnt selfhelplessness" and cant relate to emotional rewards in a normal way. its like "if you do 10 pressups right now you will feel amazing but if you dont do any you will feel meh" and you always choose the "meh" because you cant relate to the "amazing". something like that anyway
for some further possible tips see my blog thread on anxiety & procrastination
if your friend seems miserable and depressed and reluctant and fearful, its because he IS, but obviously he doesnt want to be - who would ever want to be!!? its not something you can help. so its REALLY good to have someone who understands this and still supports you. the sucky thing is when you have people who just give up on you or think you are a miserable asshole and dont realise its a psychological illness.
the other thing to recognise is that he might (definately does) have a major part of him that actually adores and celebrates his degeneracy. that is why its so addictive. you become a torn, split person - one half of you just wants to wallow in this glorious filth that gives you so much endless pleasure, but the other half becomes increasingly self-loathing and aware of your dwindling life and how pathetically out of reach of true happiness you really are.
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EPT
