|
Korea (South)11595 Posts
Alright, this is kinda personal but whatever, I just need to let off some steam.
About a few months ago, I have been working at Pizza Hut and made some new friends and we have hung out a lot lately. We see movies, hang out after school, etc... The main person I hang out with is named Joey. Joey has introduced me to Jack and Jill (its obvious these aren't the real names).
My mom has noticed me staying out late (until 11:30 almost every night) as opposed to me coming home at 9. So she has come to the conclusion that I am doing drugs, robbing stores, and drinking so much that I pass out.
I am 17 and I have always had a good relationship with my mother. She's made me edible (not tastey) food, and I have always told her what I'm doing when I'm doing what and so on.
When me and Jack, Joey, and Jill are hanging out, I call my mom so she doesn't worry so much (she worries like hell, she is a mother) and say we hang out.
My mom seems to assume that hanging out revolves around the negative side. I mean, my sister started to become an alcoholic.
I don't know what to say to make my parents realize that I don't do drugs, I don't drink ever, I don't go robbing stores, etc...
In fact just a few minutes ago (after I started writing this) she assumed that I wasn't hungry because I'm high. I looked at her in the eye and told her in a very aggressive attitude (Why the hell would I get high, especially if it was at home? I'm obviously not hungry because I already ate at work (free pizza FTW!)."
There's nothing that seems to make her understand that I am a normal decent kid (hell, I have decent grades).
I guess I'm just wondering how the hell did she lose her trust in me and start to assume that I am a drug user/alcoholic etc...? What can I do to prove to her I am still a good kid.
TL.net HELP!
EDIT:I've told her to give me drug tests, but she refuses to do so. What the fuck!?
EDIT: 2000th post
|
lol not hungry because you're high
lolololol
also tell your mother there's nothing wrong with alcoholism
|
if she really doesn't trust you at all you can get a drug test! (she probably wouldn't trust the results  )
|
just tell her to back off
|
|
|
Well assuming that you are not on drugs, tell her to get you a cup and you will prove it.
|
My parent is the same.
My mom drew the conclusion that my grades in school arent so high and I dont like going to church because I spent ALL of my time on the computer hoping to be pro at SC.
this is what I get for even showing her about progaming and stuff since I thought it was cool. She assumes that anytime I spend on the computer I must be gaming. I also supposively never done any work at school thats why I dont have straight A. I told it to her face that, "If I never done any work at school, wouldn't I be failing all my classes? As oppose to not getting all As?"
w/e dont want to steal the thread. Gotta wait for the rest of TL net to help you there, I'm no good at these things, lol.
|
Just sit down and talk to her. To the extreme. Don't raise your voice, she'll probably just think you're having a smack attack. Just talk smoothly and intelligently, like Light. ;D
My mom thought this as well, and I just sat down with her and talked to her calmly and now she doesn't assume that many bad things. She use to jump to conclusions a lot, but these jumps would have won her gold medals.
|
This isn't really a problem with you, it's a problem with her. There's not really a lot you can do that you aren't already doing without making some unreasonable sacrifices in your personal life.
If it gets to be too much, you should have a serious talk with her and let her know that although you appreciate her care and concern, she's out of line and she needs to learn to trust you a little bit more. If you haven't really done anything to warrant a loss of trust, then she really shouldn't be so paranoid. From what you say, you seem like a pretty good kid though so she should be a little more reasonable.
|
well i assume you were really close together? maybe she is afraid like every parent out there, I mean, you are growing up and you are starting to hang out more and stuff, parents tend to react and to think ilogically when they see their little kids start becoming men.
I agree with the drug test, go with her and show her with strong evidence you tell the truth, also talk to her in a strong tone that you arent doing anything wrong, to back off a little and give you some space, show her with facts you tell the truth 
|
i have been on drugs and my mother never knew:X
irony.
tell her being high only makes you hungrier.. or so you hear.
tell her to do some research on the affects of pot, thatway she can see that your eyes arent ever glazed and surprise, not being hungry is definitely not on the list either.
or next time she accuses you just flip out and be sarcastic and yell at her
"YEAH MOM, IM HIGH. IM ABOUT TO BLOW A LINE OF COKE TOO. NOW IF YOU COULD STOP INTERRUPTING ME.."
|
Here's some proper advice:
To me, it seems that you and her had a very good relationship, and the trust is broken because of the suspicion. The best approach is to restore this trust, instead of challenging her to get you a drug test, take her to a coffee house or make her some coffee, sit her down and tell her how you feel. Conclude with that you are getting older and need to socialize more with people your age.
I'm certain that it's a very difficult time for her as well, because she feels neglected and is losing her grip on you. She might have even said it so that you could spend more time with her.
|
On May 09 2007 19:50 lil.sis wrote:
lol not hungry because you're high
lolololol
also tell your mother there's nothing wrong with alcoholism
Could you explain that to my dad who is dying of liver failure because of being an alcoholic for 9 years? I wonder how he would respond... I know you are trying to joke but sometimes its not funny 
Also to the op - if you really have a good relationship with your mom, just tell her you want to talk and explain to her that she should have a little more faith in the job she has done raising you and that you are not your sister.
Edit: Moms are always going to worry. My mom always feels that she never provided well for us because she was a single mom raising three kids. As you said, you are growing up and now you can have the more intellectual conversations with your parents. If you keep your cool and tell her how things really are, I don't see things going bad
|
btw that sarcasm bit really works
on my mother all the time atleast
she's obviously a little more naive than most so idk
|
On May 09 2007 19:48 CaucasianAsian wrote:
My mom has noticed me staying out late (until 11:30 almost every night) as opposed to me coming home at 9. So she has come to the conclusion that I am doing drugs, robbing stores, and drinking so much that I pass out.
she assumed that I wasn't hungry because I'm high.
You have a one silly mom :D
|
Sarcasm is the way to go in these situations.
"No mom sorry I can't run to the store right now cause I'm wicked tweaked on coke", or just "so the other day I was smoking pot and....." etc. Act goofy, it'll work fine.
|
On May 09 2007 20:12 Haemonculus wrote:
Sarcasm is the way to go in these situations.
"No mom sorry I can't run to the store right now cause I'm wicked tweaked on coke", or just "so the other day I was smoking pot and....." etc. Act goofy, it'll work fine.
In all honesty I think sarcasm could actually hinder the situation. If the mom is really this worried already, then I don't think sarcasm would help.
|
All parents are like this.
When I was in college, my mother was convinced that I was an alcoholic.
After I graduated, I just stopped drinking cause I had other shit to do. Now she's convinced that I'm a compulisive gambler because I play some poker now and then, which I actually MAKE money doing.
Parents are funny.
|
Basically I got past this by not showing/telling my parents anything. My mom was always the paranoid, suspicious type too.
just one word sentences and shrugging. I also refused to show them my report car until after I graduated.
|
This is what i do:
Whenever my mom asks me where im going, i say im going to do some drugs.
When she asks me if im gonna drink i tell here that im getting hammered.
When she asks me hopw late im gonna be, i say that ill be out all night.
Just be sarcastic and she might stop asking you.
I have been doing this for 3 years but and she still asks me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
