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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
October 02 2013 20:47 GMT
#5701
On October 03 2013 05:13 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 03 2013 04:25 HardlyNever wrote:
On October 03 2013 04:17 Najda wrote:
On October 03 2013 04:11 HardlyNever wrote:
On October 03 2013 02:58 lannisport wrote:
On October 02 2013 01:07 SixStrings wrote:
I think I posted the short back-story here already at some point, but I can't seem to find it:

So I had an "affair" with a girl (do you call it an affair if nobody's in a relationship? "Fuck-buddies" sounds so barbaric.).
At some point she came to me crying, about having had sex with her ex-bf.
So I said something along the lines of:

"Well, don't worry about, I wasn't under the impression we were in a relationship at all. Actually, I assumed you did that all along."

Somehow, this is suddenly me being a jerk and her being royally annoyed...

This wouldn't be a big deal, because I really didn't like her that much, except she still has my ukulele.

I resigned never getting it back, but yesterday I felt like I missed her (the ukulele) too much to let it slide, so I called her.

First she (the girl) seemed pretty pleased I called, but get this: as soon as I mentioned the ukulele, she actually started getting annoyed, screaming bloody murder and calling me a prick. Does this make any sense to anyone?

TLDR: I lost a ukulele for a period of very mediocre sex. Meh...


I'm gonna play devil's advocate here. The girl thought you two were in a relationship and she "cheated" on you. That's far worse than what you said to her. Actions speak louder than words.

On the other hand be honest with your intentions from the start next time. "I'm not looking for anything serious, you can date who you want, I can date who I want". With a single sentence you avoid this crap, you keep your instruments and your mediocre sex.


This. The girl thought they were in a relationship, thought she cheated on him, and because his reaction was "we weren't in a relationship," he's the bad guy?

There is some serious trolling, or some serious white-knighting going on here.

Anyhow, I would probably value the ukulele over "being right," so why not just give her an insincere apology and get the ukulele back, and then be done with her? Seems pretty straight forward to me.


I haven't seen anyone defend her or say she was right, just that what he said is abrasive and easy to interpret as rude or offensive.


Ok, I just don't understand why everyone has to nitpick every little thing. I thought this was supposed to be more of a supportive thread, not a thread about making people feel bad about every little mistake.



I came here because I thought it'd be amusing to share and I definitely appreciate sincere white-knighting above insincere compassion. And this is why I won't apologize and why I have bought a new killer ukulele already.


I never appreciate white-knighting of any variety, but that is me.

I'm not sure why you made such a big deal about the ukulele, and how to get it back, if you never really wanted to get it back, but whatever. Not that important.
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
October 02 2013 20:51 GMT
#5702
I really did want to get it back, and still would like to, but I think chances of that are pretty slim.

Also, I thought it'd add some comedic value to dwell on the ukulele (it's not like it's a real guitar that would have serious sentimental value), rather than the lost 'relationship'.
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
October 02 2013 23:42 GMT
#5703
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
October 03 2013 01:35 GMT
#5704
On October 03 2013 08:42 chadissilent wrote:
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...


How can she get you kicked out of your own place?
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
October 03 2013 02:22 GMT
#5705
On October 03 2013 10:35 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 03 2013 08:42 chadissilent wrote:
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...


How can she get you kicked out of your own place?


Lies, obviously.

Lies...
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
October 03 2013 02:24 GMT
#5706
On October 03 2013 10:35 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 03 2013 08:42 chadissilent wrote:
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...


How can she get you kicked out of your own place?

We are 2 of 3 people renting a house.
Steins;Gate
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
1422 Posts
October 03 2013 03:36 GMT
#5707
On October 03 2013 11:24 chadissilent wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 03 2013 10:35 Zooper31 wrote:
On October 03 2013 08:42 chadissilent wrote:
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...


How can she get you kicked out of your own place?

We are 2 of 3 people renting a house.


Wait, did she cheat on you with the other person you're renting a house with? Lol
" Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be. "
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
October 03 2013 10:19 GMT
#5708
On October 03 2013 12:36 Steins;Gate wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 03 2013 11:24 chadissilent wrote:
On October 03 2013 10:35 Zooper31 wrote:
On October 03 2013 08:42 chadissilent wrote:
Girlfriend moved in, cheated 3 weeks later, makes up lies to get me kicked out of house. To be continued...


How can she get you kicked out of your own place?

We are 2 of 3 people renting a house.


Wait, did she cheat on you with the other person you're renting a house with? Lol


He's also his brother and best friend and father.
b0rt_
Profile Joined October 2011
Norway931 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-10-03 10:29:01
October 03 2013 10:28 GMT
#5709
I love reading about other people's misfortunes. It makes me feel slightly better about the fact I do not trust girls period and as a result my love life is one epic rollercoaster of pain after another.
Metalreflux
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States165 Posts
October 06 2013 11:19 GMT
#5710
Why has my thread not died yet? Well, if anyone has liked my writing it has improved and I am going to start a blog
Xenocide_Knight
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Korea (South)2625 Posts
October 06 2013 13:49 GMT
#5711
It's everyone's thread
Shine[Kal] #1 fan
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
October 06 2013 13:55 GMT
#5712
On October 06 2013 20:19 Metalreflux wrote:
Why has my thread not died yet? Well, if anyone has liked my writing it has improved and I am going to start a blog


Did you think that TL exists for eSports? Nope, Girl Blogs.
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
October 06 2013 13:57 GMT
#5713
Does anyone else seem to attract strange and bizarre women who have no idea how to behave on dates/around people they don't know well? The last girl I went on a date with spent 10-20 minutes telling me about how she likes Owl's (yes, the bird) and how she had Owl themed bags, clothes and other items and how it is annoying how it's currently cool to like these things (apparently it's cool, who knew?). Then she proceeded to tell me about how she was bullied in school, is scared of needles (along with various accompanying stories of the lengths she's gone to avoid vaccinations/blood tests) and a whole manner of other stories no sane person would ever tell anyone on a first date.

I used to assume that being weird/having no social skills was predominantly the domain of the male population but I increasingly seem to be unknowingly asking out women with these same problems.

More importantly when a date is going shitty and you have no interest at all in the girl because she's weird/annoying/boring/not as attractive as you remembered/all of the above how do you bail at the earliest but not obscenely dickish opportunity?
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
October 06 2013 14:36 GMT
#5714
Tell her you don't give a hoot about owls and that you secretly have a needle fetish.

If you really are disintrested then don't feign interest in her stories and hopefully she'll realize and stop, or if she doesn't realize you'll either have to be blunt about your interest or try to find a way to make it fun for you for whatever the duration is.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
October 06 2013 15:28 GMT
#5715
On October 06 2013 22:57 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Does anyone else seem to attract strange and bizarre women who have no idea how to behave on dates/around people they don't know well? The last girl I went on a date with spent 10-20 minutes telling me about how she likes Owl's (yes, the bird) and how she had Owl themed bags, clothes and other items and how it is annoying how it's currently cool to like these things (apparently it's cool, who knew?). Then she proceeded to tell me about how she was bullied in school, is scared of needles (along with various accompanying stories of the lengths she's gone to avoid vaccinations/blood tests) and a whole manner of other stories no sane person would ever tell anyone on a first date.

I used to assume that being weird/having no social skills was predominantly the domain of the male population but I increasingly seem to be unknowingly asking out women with these same problems.

More importantly when a date is going shitty and you have no interest at all in the girl because she's weird/annoying/boring/not as attractive as you remembered/all of the above how do you bail at the earliest but not obscenely dickish opportunity?



Are you kidding me?

I'd love to get to know girls who are passionate about anything, even if it's owls.

It's always the same, the interesting, fun, if a bit weird ones, have boyfriends and I have to make due with the dull party-girls whose only interests are shopping and dressing...

Also, I'm amazed that a native speaker could make two mistakes in a four letter-word.
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
October 06 2013 16:29 GMT
#5716
On October 07 2013 00:28 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 06 2013 22:57 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Does anyone else seem to attract strange and bizarre women who have no idea how to behave on dates/around people they don't know well? The last girl I went on a date with spent 10-20 minutes telling me about how she likes Owl's (yes, the bird) and how she had Owl themed bags, clothes and other items and how it is annoying how it's currently cool to like these things (apparently it's cool, who knew?). Then she proceeded to tell me about how she was bullied in school, is scared of needles (along with various accompanying stories of the lengths she's gone to avoid vaccinations/blood tests) and a whole manner of other stories no sane person would ever tell anyone on a first date.

I used to assume that being weird/having no social skills was predominantly the domain of the male population but I increasingly seem to be unknowingly asking out women with these same problems.

More importantly when a date is going shitty and you have no interest at all in the girl because she's weird/annoying/boring/not as attractive as you remembered/all of the above how do you bail at the earliest but not obscenely dickish opportunity?



Are you kidding me?

I'd love to get to know girls who are passionate about anything, even if it's owls.

It's always the same, the interesting, fun, if a bit weird ones, have boyfriends and I have to make due with the dull party-girls whose only interests are shopping and dressing...

Also, I'm amazed that a native speaker could make two mistakes in a four letter-word.


Maybe that's what you tell yourself or write on your dating profile, but in real life listening to people talk about owls endlessly is boring as shit and were the date not already a sure thing (we had already agreed to hang out at her house afterwards) I would have probably have bailed there and then.

Which word did I misspell?
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
October 06 2013 16:59 GMT
#5717
Owl's
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
KillerSOS
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States4207 Posts
October 06 2013 17:17 GMT
#5718
On October 07 2013 01:59 WarSame wrote:
Owl's


What is that owl possessing?
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
October 06 2013 17:40 GMT
#5719
On October 07 2013 02:17 KillerSOS wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 07 2013 01:59 WarSame wrote:
Owl's


What is that owl possessing?


His sanity apparently.
bobdabillda
Profile Joined August 2010
Canada43 Posts
October 06 2013 17:44 GMT
#5720
--- Nuked ---
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