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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
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On June 27 2015 09:17 Mora wrote:Show nested quote +On June 10 2015 12:38 Luppa wrote:
Hey everyone, really wish we could bring this thread back to life, u might have seen me post before about my stream, im tryig to grow the lgbt awareness within sc2, from streaming, making connections with bigger names, and twitter. Peop
e are getting to recognise me as "that gay dude" on twitch, and I have to say, im proud of that milestone. I am having this problem though within the scene, and slowly have lost some close connections with people because of the phrase we all know "I dont care that youre gay, just dont rub it in my face." Or to be more relevent to gaming scenes "I dont give a fuck about you being gay, it has nothing to do with sc2, stop trying to get attention." Or tweets of a similar nature. Im finding alot of people within the scene are acting very gay with eachother, the funny maymay pseudo-homosexuality that str8 dudes find hilarious, but when I do something similar people seem to get annoied, (even though I am the least likely to act on any flirting deeing as I am in a commited 5 year relationship with a dude).
People I dont think understand how threatened they evidently feel to be urked by thinking a gay dude is "rubbing his gay in his face" by occassionaly making a gay culture joke or casually making flirtatious remarks due to me thinking they were funny. And they hide behind this "but im not homophobic, by brother/friend/sister is gay, im all for equal rights"
Anyone know how to tackle this issue at all? Im not going to change my personality due to how the pros within the scene see it, as im trying to help some of the lgbt people who may or may not need help. I hope we can show the breeders that us fgts can play games too! Xo love you all <3 10 years ago I would have had a lot to say and a lot of advice to give... But it has been 10 years and trying to wrap that experience in a short exchange of words is challenging. First, just be who you want to be and don't give a fuck about the rest. If you want to talk about being gay, or want to discuss gay issues on your stream, do it. Some people are going to enjoy your stream and respect what you do and others will not (or simply won't get it) and that's OK. The same came be said with anything you do in your life. Identify a few goals of your stream and shape your content around that. If you want to discuss gaming, and gay issues, and cater to a certain demographic of audience, consider the way you present yourself and make an effort to align it with those goals. When I was an active and loud Starcraft player I drew attention to my sexuality because I thought exposure to it important and frankly because I liked attention. Because those were my goals I would use profanity, strong descriptive language of my sex life (or desired sex life) and I [for the most part] got what I was looking for. What are you looking for? Go get it. Aside from goals though, this next piece is important: when people say that being a homo has nothing to do with gaming, they're wrong. Just wrong. Our world is a heteronormative one: movies, public places, advertisements, etc., all project a world where a man and women are meant to be together. To kiss, to love, to have sex. Romanticism (or heterosexual sexuality) is present and prevalent in [nearly] every film, video game, and caption of human interaction. Should we complain about their heterosexuality being shoved down our throats? That I want to watch a movie without seeing heterosexual romance or sex? That movies about super heroes aren't about love, and games like starcraft shouldn't also include stories of romance with characters like Kerrigan and Raynor? Bullshit. They can fuck off. This matter is not a simple one, nor is the shape of progress clear, but I can say any exposure to non-normative life is a long-term positive thing in our world. Unless the naysayers have some serious experience, expertise, or genuine arguments otherwise, they're ignorant and possess opinions where they shouldn't. Now, you don't need to inform of this truth - I don't know what that would accomplish - but know it yourself and align your attitude and content knowing that the large majority of your audience has no experience and no interest in exploring these complexities. In short: Be who you are. Be considerate but never apologetic. Identify your goals and make sure you're on track to achieve them. Take all feedback with a grain of salt as most people are ignorant as fuck. Be Proud. Good luck my friend, Mora
Thank you so much for the time mora, I really appreciate you giving me such a well written response. Yea, basically right now I dont give a fuck about "making it anywhere" within the scene. So ima just be me, and if people like it yay, if not, idgaf. This includes but is not exclusive to me talking about being gay on stream, making gay jokes on twitter and casual flirting with progamers, you know, the usual stuff. And ima have fun while doing it.
Thank you again friend <3
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I want to add some gay SC streamers on Twitch. Anyone have some suggestions?
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Luppa is the only one I know
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wuts mora up to these days
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So I'm a nurse who lives in the Bible Belt. This week my work wife (and her husband) had their middle son come out to them. Any useful advice you think I could give her? Realize she's basically like Paula Deen minus the atrocious accent, aka sweet southern baptisty type.
I'm trying not to rag on her too much (for months she's referred to him as her metrosexual son) or push too hard (she's a nurse, why don't scientific studies matter when it comes to sexuality) or drill her for information (inquiring minds must know). I just know that my relationship with my parents is heavily strained by a 'Don't ask, Don't tell' agreement of sorts. I like her. She's really nice (and a fantastic nurse). But she and her husband are also old fashioned.
All that said, I don't think I've seen anyone turn so red before when the topic of tops and bottoms came up. Apparently she googled it after her son came out and thought of who was doing who.
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On February 22 2016 17:55 geript wrote:
So I'm a nurse who lives in the Bible Belt. This week my work wife (and her husband) had their middle son come out to them. Any useful advice you think I could give her? Realize she's basically like Paula Deen minus the atrocious accent, aka sweet southern baptisty type.
I'm trying not to rag on her too much (for months she's referred to him as her metrosexual son) or push too hard (she's a nurse, why don't scientific studies matter when it comes to sexuality) or drill her for information (inquiring minds must know). I just know that my relationship with my parents is heavily strained by a 'Don't ask, Don't tell' agreement of sorts. I like her. She's really nice (and a fantastic nurse). But she and her husband are also old fashioned.
All that said, I don't think I've seen anyone turn so red before when the topic of tops and bottoms came up. Apparently she googled it after her son came out and thought of who was doing who.
Advice to tell her : Love unconditionally and without prejudice. Because he will need to know they are there for him now more than ever.
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I got that. I'm also trying to be practical though. Change what you can. It's a matter of how hard to push and where. It's a matter of how to find what's changeable and how to get that changed.
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Hey, looking for some people to play coop against in SCII.
Add me through my battle tag: Lexen#2407
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Pride banners are up across TL websites again!
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thought R1CH was coming out ...
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Saw the pride banner on FB and it dragged me back here to come say hi. x
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i always appreciate the pride horse, wish i could get a shirt of it tbh. I usually avoid pride clothing, but I would buy that
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After the recent TL teams/players, this is the only thing that makes me absolutely love and support TL.
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Guys is this a safe place to ask a question that probably is ignorant but is just meant to help a dumbass like me understand a bit better?
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I would think so, as long as it isn't an obviously troll question.
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OK so here goes:
When listening to American podcasts and talk shows I often hear people strongly argue for being born gay as opposed to "growing into it" or even making the conscious choice to be gay. What I wonder is why this distinction is so important. In my mind neither of these should change anything about it's validity, yet people will furiously argue their view on this matter.
A few days ago this point came up with a few friends of mine (all straight btw) and they were shocked that I could even question this. I obviously don't know which is true but in my mind it makes sense that your sexual preference is something you grow in to, and can be influenced by experiences in life.
For example I can imagine I could've been gay if my life had been different. This doesn't mean I agree with those claiming it's because of trauma or something like that, but perhaps simply due to different influences in childhood. Couldn't it be seen as the same kinda thing as why some women like hairy men or some guys only like skinny girls for example?
Curious to hear what you guys think. It seems that previously my ignorance on this was offensive to some and that's not my goal at all.
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Every single person is different. People have different mutations from one another and on top of that they have different experiences throughout their lives and while some have similar experiences nobody really takes them the same way. Being born a certain way, to me, doesn't really make sense with regards to sexuality or gender identity. Those kinds of things depend heavily on the culture people grow up with, the people around them, more than they depend on a person's individual genes/mutations, all that jazz. There's definitely a chunk of the population in western culture that uses, or perhaps overuses, the phrase "born gay" and make the distinction you're confused about, but it's never made sense to me either. Again, everyone is different and surrounded by different people, culture, etc. so even though I don't get it I have overheard people at bars and whatnot do exactly what you're talking about.
"Born gay", with people I know personally who use this phrase, use it to mean "I am so gay that I can't fathom a universe in which I wouldn't have come out as homosexual sooner or later" (*unless that universe literally didn't have people who identified as men/women/lizardfolk for some of them). The people I know who are homosexual try to avoid getting caught in the "were you born gay or did you turn gay later" question that is mostly asked by gossipers. If a gay person asks another gay person they just met about their sexuality they either use "born gay" to simply have a very short-and-sweet, casual conversation or they avoid the phrase entirely and have a more serious conversation about how they grew up, where they're from, all that.
Now all of that said, I think a lot of the "born X" notions where I live are from very old-fashioned, closed-minded ways of thinking rooted in religious views, specifically Christianity and Catholicism. It seems to me that, in the west, it's mostly from the idea that "God made you this way" or other similar beliefs and teachings. There's an argument that some people have used of "you can't change who you are" when talking about someone being gay not being able to change that, but I think it's doing a disservice to who those people are capable of being and only contributes to the "born gay" myth, which leads to not just arguments on the radio/TV or dull discussions in noisy bars, but also contributes to the idea that people don't have a choice in their behavior, that no matter what you're only capable of being one way for your entire life. Or even the idea that "wow she dated a girl, I guess she's gay now" or "he's dating her? I guess he wasn't 'born gay' after all" as if a person can only have one sexuality or something.
TLDR: Everyone is different. I believe the phrase gets used incorrectly and perhaps is overused by homosexual people but in a different way that isn't widely understood. People are flexible by nature and everyone decides who they are at any given time in any given situation.
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Doesn't the US constitution say thatvall men are born equal? Perhaps that also adds to why it seems to be more of a topic in the US than in Europe (as far as I can tell).
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The Constitution has roots in both Colonial traditions as well as English traditions/heritage and religious beliefs that go back hundreds of years, and the ideas of natural rights and human rights (as opposed to legal rights) in the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, all that stuff, seem to go back to ideas from the 1200s that challenged things like the "divine right" and used as parts of foundations for some forms of government, but were still very connected to the religion of the time and still is today, albeit to a much lesser degree.
So, for hundreds of years, western/English/American religion and culture and politics were all muddled together which led to things like "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." in the U.S. Constitution.
I think what makes it more of a topic here than in Europe is that people are slightly more aggressive in general about their beliefs and about challenging old ideas as well as new ideas. Older generations are still mostly holding on to ideas going back hundreds and hundreds of years, even back to ancient Greece and Rome, and teaching those ideas to some members of newer generations, while others are taught newer ideas or ideas that challenge old ideas and the second line of the Constitution.
I very, very rarely hear anyone say "born gay" so I can't say it's a big topic, but certain TV shows, radio hosts/guests, and of course other places in the U.S. that have deeper/stronger religious roots probably talk about it much more often that it would be "a" topic but maybe not a "big" topic. It makes sense to me that it would seem like a huge topic compared to how much it's discussed in Europe, though.
Hopefully some of that gives a little clarity and isn't too all over the place.
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EPT
