Untitled.docx

by Brindled

Sometime in May

"Okay guys," said Lichter. "We need to determine the title for the next upcoming preview article...I feel like having a little fun with this one. Who's got ideas?"
"NARUTO!" exclaimed Stuchiu.
"No, Stu, we're deciding titles, not themes. And that's really dumb." said DarkLordOlli.
"Aww snap, he went there y'all." said Zealously. Laughter went around the table.
"I don't get it," said The_Templar, "Why are you speaking like that if you're supposed to be Swedish?"

...

"God damn it, Templar." said thecrazymunchkin



Changing the subject, Destructicon offered, "Maybe we need some player feedback? It's why we've invited them here." he said, gesturing at the four Korean pros. "What do they think we should name the next article?"
"Ugh, anything would be better than A Classic kind of Dream.'" muttered Lichter.
"What the hell, Lichter!" replied Soularion.
"Dude, everyone cringed pretty hard at that." said Olli.
"It physically pained me to post." admitted Lichter.



"Annnnyway, what do the players think?" interrupted Destructicon.
"I got it!" said GuMiho. "Telecom Titans dodge Rogue Hurricane!"

Groans all around.

"We already used that! Another one!" said Lichter.
"When it Rains!" said soO. "Get it? The group's got Rain in it!"
"No...no..." said Lichter. He rubbed his temples.
"Yes! Yes!" Soularion excitedly said.
"Admittedly, pretty good." said Destructicon, "But not good enough. Try again."
"What about 'Leenock'd and Loaded'?" said Rogue. "Leenock rhymes with 'locked,' like that famous expression 'locked and loaded' right?"

Lichter sighed and sank his head.

"Oh that's a great one." said Stuchiu. "We should use that one!"
"Yeah! I like it!" said Destructicon.
Stuchiu glared. "Yeah, because I wrote that one."
"Ohhhhhh---" sighed virtually everyone in realization.
"Back in a Flash!" said Rogue. "Because Flash, right? kekekeke"
"Argh!" yelled Lichter. "These puns....!" His face was in his hands, eyes screwed up shut in pain.

Everyone else though, chuckled.

"These are pretty good." said Soularion.
"Keep them coming!" said Destructicon.
"Still Alive!" said Hurricane.
"Is Alive still even around?" asked GuMiho.
"Life Takes a Bite Out of the Big Apple!" said soO.
"Mechin' it Happen!" said Rogue.
Voracious laughter rose from around the table, everyone gleefully enjoying the punfest, especially Destructicon.
"NO! I can't take much more..." Lichter pleaded.
GuMiho said, "Dark Terminator defeated in INnoVative MMA match."

Hush passed over the writer's table.

"Mein gott..." said Olli. "That's brilliant!"
Half of the table seriously considered the title, in awe of its cleverness in incorporating all four names.
soO said, "No! MMA PartinG the Dark sKy!"
A chorus of "oooo" and "ahhh" came from the other half of the table, contemplating this amalgamation of all four names into a singular sentence.



Heavy debate started over the two titles, as the TL writers grappled over the issue over which title was superior to post. All the while, Lichter stirred restlessly. His temples throbbed with pain and rage, having to endure all these bad puns. His sanity already slowly stripping away for being an editor for the TL Starcraft writing team, Lichter could not endure the strain that the past few minutes of puns put on what was left of it.

"ALRIGHT, FUCK IT!" yelled Lichter as he flipped over the table. He began to laugh uncontrollably with maniacal abandon.
The entire table got quiet quick.



"YOU TWO," Lichter roared, while pointing at GuMiho and soO, "YOU BOTH WIN, OK! We'll use both your titles!"
"But we can't do that..." said Zealously.
"Sure we can! We're TL editors, we can do anything!" replied Lichter. "You know what?! Fuck it! For the next GSL, we're just going to do themed previews completely devoid of analytical content! It'll be fun! Everyone will like it! Hahahahahahaha!"

Everyone uncomfortably shifted in their seats.

With a small amount of courage, Destructicon spoke up saying, "Erm...Lichter, why?"
Lichter looked at Destructicon with an insane gleam in his eyes and suddenly burst out laughing.
"You're asking me that question? All these pun article titles and you're questioning why we should do something equally absurd??" asked Lichter.
"Well...I just don't think that our readers would.." mumbled Destructicon.
"BECAUSE..." Lichter bellowed, "REASONS!"



Rogue, soO, GuMiho, and Hurricane ran away and did not look back. Little did they know they would be playing all together in a single GSL group after causing Lichter to take leave of his senses.

And that's the story of Lichter's descent into madness and why we had to do these themed previews.


Predictions:
GuMiho and soO take the whole thing. Rogue and Hurricane aren't bad, but soO and GuMiho are just way, way better. Between the two of them, I say Rogue will take it. However between GuMiho and soO, the match up clearly favors soO, with maybe a chance that GuMiho could win. GuMiho will at least take one game off of soO. Whoever wins that match will go on to defeat the other two contenders to enter the round of 16. I also predict that Lichter will kill me by tomorrow.

Rogue > Hurricane
soO > GuMiho
soO > Rogue
Hurricane< GuMiho
Rogue < GuMiho

soO and GuMiho to advance to the Ro16.