EPTDoes it feel like your opponent is mocking you when you lose to him (in sc2)?
Gaming rage and anger management - please help - Page 9
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Xahhk
Canada540 Posts
Does it feel like your opponent is mocking you when you lose to him (in sc2)? | ||
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Lauriel
United States108 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:08 FunkyLich wrote: I'm not sure if you actually have a pathological kind of problem cause I'm not a psychologist. But my guess is, since you don't exhibit this anywhere else, and otherwise your life is pretty much a-ok, it's probably not that. So I'm just gonna give you my thoughts on this. Starcraft is a special kind of competition for a few reasons. 1) You rarely physically SEE your opponent. 2) It is a game of wits and intellect. Yes, half of it is mechanics, but the other half is about out-smarting your opponent. 3) It is a personal game (at least one on one is) This means when you lose, it is automatically a statement about whose brain is bigger. And when you think about how your opponent must feel, you see this smug expression on his face. He must think he's better than you now. He is probably thinking about how much of a scrub you are. This worthless fuck probably lives in his parent's basement, and now he thinks he's better than you. So, what can you do about it? Nothing. Go re? Nope, because deep down you know he will just beat you again. Tell him how he's a worthless sack of shit, and you are a successful man with a hot girlfriend? He'll just laugh in your face. Now take all that and compound it. You just lost 3 times in a row to fuckers just like that guy. Okay now maybe slamming your fist against the keyboard is just what happens. If none of this sounds familiar to you, I don't have any advice for you, sorry. This is the reason why I personally get mad "at the game" sometimes. But you know, not really at the game, but at the fictional strawman monster I've built up of my opponent. This is why a lot of people avoid 1v1 I think, because of it's very personal nature. They gravitate to team games, because when you lose, it's the team losing. It's the whole team's fault usually. So you pretty much have two choices. You can stop playing 1v1 and go to 4v4 where nothing makes any sense, it's just a bunch of shit everywhere and you attack, and if you lose, who cares, it's your team's fault. OR you can man the fuck up, and drill these into your head: Losing a game does not mean your opponent is smarter or better than you. Losing a game does not mean your opponent THINKS he's smarter or better than you. Acknowledge your opponent deserved the win. You are no lesser for meeting defeat, if anything, you are stronger. FFS stop thinking that you've GOTTA END ON A WIN. That will kill you. When you lose three times in a row, stop, watch the replays, figure out why you are sucking so bad, and then go do something else. Relish your victories, and study your defeats. ??? Profit *Honestly, this is advice I should take myself. Lol I have felt this exact same way before, regularly. The bolded section in particular really speaks to me. Excellent advice. I'll try to keep that in mind, because losing in SC2 does feel much more like a measure of success as a human than success at a game. Ironically, I never think to myself "I'm just a better, smarter, more successful person than that guy I just beat," but I imagine some people thinking that way when they beat me. | ||
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Lauriel
United States108 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:09 Pheon wrote: The answer is pretty simple and you already know what it is: grow up. If you drive recklessly as you said because of a video game, you should be in for treatment - no questions asked. Grow up. I posted earlier that the "reckless" driving is actually just angry driving. I should have been more clear in the OP. | ||
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Lauriel
United States108 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:19 Shantastic wrote: Don't quit. Why do I say this? A) Your anger means you are passionate about StarCraft II. B) If you were willing to stop playing, you wouldn't be on TL right now. You clearly want to play, and da StarCraftz give you da feelz ^_^ That's AWESOME; never forget that :D I have very similar problems. I have yet to do long-lasting damage to myself or my environment AFAIK (I do have a trapped nerve in my right hand that acts up from time to time, but IDK if that happened with rage; also, I broke a headset once when I was really sleep-deprived and angry). Here are my recommendations, based on what does and doesn't work for me: 1) Maintaining calm. Any time you feel anger setting on after a loss, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ANYTHING THEY ARE TOUCHING (this is to avoid physical damage to both gear and hands). Bow your head. Close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deeply. It's OK to be angry. Breathing is the best way to be angry. 2) Do not click "Find Match" until you are over the loss. This is much easier said than done, but if you can train yourself not to ladder angry, life becomes much easier and you slowly make your way towards being OK with a loss. Tilting is never good for your state of mind or your game. 3) Think about the specific error that cost you the game. You don't have to watch the replay. It's hard as hell to watch the replay when you're this affected by a loss. But remember that larger feeling of general failure you feel with a loss? When you get down to specifics, you realize it wasn't a general failure, but a very small and palpable slip. Now you're problem-solving, not failing. This is the transition that many pro players really have down. A great example is CatZ, who will almost always follow up a loss with a statement of what he did wrong, like, "I fucked up the transition" or "I didn't have enough [unit]" or something like that. 4) I strongly suggest some kind of therapy. I recommend therapy for anyone with a pulse, but especially when you seem to have a good understanding and foundation for what you want and where you want to be with this specific aspect of your life, I think a little therapy goes a long way to getting you in the right place, especially with StarCraft. Just talking to a professional a couple times a month can work wonders. 5) is a quote from the esteemed Zngel, a.k.a. Day[9]: "Do NOT forget to HAVE FUN! Laddering is SUPER fun, but if you're on a losing streak and feeling frustrated, don't force 1v1ing! Go play some 4v4s or some UMS. There's a billion different ways to play SC2, all of which are fun in completely different ways. As a community, we tend to focus on 1v1 (and competitive tournament play as observers!) but there's SO MUCH FUN TO BE HAD ACTUALLY IM GOING TO GO PLAY 2V2 RIGHT NOW [source]" That's my $0.02. Don't give up! StarCraft II is awesome, and it's awesome that you want to play it! Best of luck :D Also a really excellent viewpoint. A lot of this is really worth taking to heart. Thanks. | ||
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Lauriel
United States108 Posts
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JSK
United States133 Posts
Seriously: get a yoga mat and do stretches. If you lose 3 games in a row, get that mat out. Do some calisthenics. It'll help you play better, is something you should be doing anyway, and will prevent the rage. The routine is important. | ||
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babylon
8765 Posts
* Actually, you can still do competitive things ... chess, music competitions, a sport, etc. | ||
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TheSwamp
United States1497 Posts
On May 09 2013 12:20 Lauriel wrote: That's a valid point. I should clarify about the driving. It's not that I drive recklessly, or take ridiculous risks in the car. It's more that I'm driving angry. I haven't done anything truly reckless though. Driving angry is still dangerous, however. It really is and it would be terrible for you to ruin your life because of a game. | ||
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Lauriel
United States108 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:39 babylon wrote: I would suggest taking a break from the game. Do something else that is not competitive.* I understand that you enjoy it, but if it is having a detrimental impact on numerous aspects of your life, then you should cut it out. * Actually, you can still do competitive things ... chess, music competitions, a sport, etc. I actually am a professional musician and teacher in my real life, believe it or not.  | ||
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Dreamer.T
United States3584 Posts
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Nightshade_
United States549 Posts
I eventually boiled it down to a specific thing, it doesn't matter how good I am at the game or my success in life, I take my wins and losses to heart and use my W:L as the thing to define me... for the day at least. Next morning I would be happy )) or at least until I broke even in games. It's a pride issue at least for me. When I first started I was in bronze and wanted to go pro after watching a video, and got to masters a couple months later. with that rate I expected to be GM and on a team within a year because I thought I was a prodigy and didn't know that low-mid masters is meaningless. But before I knew this and even after I knew it I thought I was entitled to winning ("all these players are fucking trash I cant believe I fucking lost to that piece of shit PLAYER *slam slam*"). It took a lot of conditioning over the past almost 2 years to get over losing, I'll still rage in games that I knew I should have won but fucked up and will mostly blame myself and call myself shit then beat a top masters korean and be happy, but overall I'm much more happy. Essentially what I had to force myself to remind myself subconciously is that I'm practicing, and I should expect and hope to lose games so I can improve. This worked a lot especially when I recently switched to Terran for a week. I would play a game, lose, know what I need to improve or do and just do it, and I'd win the next game. a week of this and I was already mid masters as a new race simply because I did not rage when I lost and took every loss as a way to find the secret to winning. I have a fever and am delirious so I hope my post makes sense and isnt' weird as fuck.... what year is this | ||
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Nerski
United States1095 Posts
In a game there is going to be times you lose and it just feels disgusting. SC2 in specific with the whole terrible terrible damage ideal can really feel this way. Playing as Zerg I can't tell you how many recent times I've run into a widow mine randomly on the map (as in not even in a battle) and subsequently was in a really bad spot. Or better yet missed a proxy 2 rax by a fraction of space only to lose because I didn't see it in time. The key is to not let yourself fly off the handle in those moments where the game just feels disgusting. What i've found helps is to just leave the game (type GG if I can convince myself to) and look at the replay for a few minutes and figure out exactly where I went wrong. Even if I don't have some ahah moment in doing it, it at least gives me time to cool down. That or turn on a stream and watch someone else suffer and you'll feel better (it's just a sad but true human fact). Either way the key is to remove yourself from the situation for a moment so you can get some perspective and recoup your head. | ||
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mango_destroyer
Canada3914 Posts
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FunkyLich
United States107 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:26 Lauriel wrote: I have felt this exact same way before, regularly. The bolded section in particular really speaks to me. Excellent advice. I'll try to keep that in mind, because losing in SC2 does feel much more like a measure of success as a human than success at a game. Ironically, I never think to myself "I'm just a better, smarter, more successful person than that guy I just beat," but I imagine some people thinking that way when they beat me. Actually yes, the same holds for me. If I beat someone, I am not even remotely thinking that I am smarter or better than them. I'm just happy I won, and I'm willing to bet that is how most people take their wins. | ||
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Nightshade_
United States549 Posts
On May 09 2013 13:57 mango_destroyer wrote: Whether or not you try to overcome it by continuing sc2, please do yourself and those around you a favor and try to make sure your mind is clear before you do things like drive. The whole speeding and angry driving thing really scares me. Just try to think of those around you first and foremost. I don`t know the answer to your problem and I am not going to say just grow up (because it seems your issue is complicated), but I will say don`t let some sort of tragedy happen before you start to change. think about your girlfriend having to live without you and the families of those who you could possibly hurt or kill while driving, works for me. Depressing but it gives you empathy and changes your actions. | ||
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Cloak
United States816 Posts
You're deciding to partake in one of the hardest things to do as a human being, and stressing your attention and motor skills to the max, so just find a predetermined way to release that stress, instead of doing detrimental things like damaging yourself and your keyboard. Starcraft is a game of personal growth, once you start making comparisons to others or excuses, you'll compromise your ability to grow. Accept that anger as a part of your personality, only your prefrontal cortex (executive) can subjugate the limbic system (emotional state), by making it part of the "plan." Accepting failure is probably the biggest obstacle and subsequently your trigger, at least it was for me. | ||
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Bananasword01
Australia220 Posts
Then you hop on a game and some person you don't even know schools your ass. Probably sets off your self worth complex. | ||
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Doominator10
United States515 Posts
On May 09 2013 08:58 Senshin wrote: lol, the topic title let me think of somebody else........ I think I know who we're referring to here  If you can laugh @ this, just remember a certain person everytime you play, and then smile. If he doesn't help, I recommend watching Avilo. His signature chant is F***Protoss | ||
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jubil
United States2602 Posts
Back when I played WoW and there was a ton of raging on the forums (actually, probably still is), occasionally the one particular dev who posted pretty regularly was asked how he could stand it. The response was thought provoking - something along the lines of: these people love the game and care about it so much that it evokes such intense emotion when they see something they think is wrong with the game, it just so happens that emotion is manifest in awful forum flames. I think it's a parallel issue with Starcraft. Just as much as I love the game, I love the community around it, the fact that we have such an awesome, skillful esport, with a civilized forum full of people it's fun to talk about the game with, and competitions that feature (occasionally) downright sublime play. I guess when I make stupid mistakes and lose, I get angry at myself because I feel on a subconscious level like I'm not living up to this grandiose image in my head of what the perfect world of Starcraft should be. It's frustrating to go from watching Polt smash top zergs to playing TvZ yourself and losing terribly to simple run-bys. As far as correcting rage...I think it's all a matter of perspective. For example, if a friend of yours asked for coaching, and you watched a replay of his in which he made some minor errors that led to a loss, would you scream in anger at him? No, you'd probably encourage him by saying that it was a error anyone could have made, and it's easy to fix, and if you just fix those few errors you would have definitely won. So why not do the same to yourself? There's no need to hold yourself to an overly high standard; you're not Flash so you shouldn't expect to be able to play like him. And, something I should probably do myself more often, is force yourself to watch the replay. If you're bad at public speaking, I've heard that they make you practice into a tape recorder and listen to yourself, so you can face your fears and correct the mistakes, same concept here. If that's too much, at least watch a replay of you completely owning someone, now that's a good feeling, and chances are you can still spot some mistakes to correct next time. | ||
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idkfa
United States77 Posts
The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day, when one's body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears, and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day, without fail, one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. I'd say you should, rather than hope you can control yourself, begin your gaming session by imagining getting cheesed in all the most lame ways, and losing in the most humiliating fashion - while everyone that matters to you is watching. The fact is, you're going to lose ~50% of your games unless you're way, way up on the ladder, and randomness assures that you will lose in streaks of varying length. Losing, like a samurai's death, is inevitable, but if you approach it the way a samurai would, you might find an alternative to the mantra of "must remain in control" that yields better results. | ||
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