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Quit. You can see that this is an aspect of your life that is negative. Like, if you had to game for a living, I would think of getting professional help to manage the rage. But if it isn't, then forget about it.
SC2 ladder has a really terrible atmosphere. In real life, you rarely meet people with such bad manners and attitude. Overall, it might be the toxicity of the SC2 ladder culture.
/edit
If you insist on continuing to play the game, I can tell you how I manage my frustration, anger etc. I see it as a sort of training for when I do meet people like that in real life.
Also, does your rage occur in single player (try getting all the achievements on insane if you're too good to lose in single player) or games versus AI? If not, it's most likely the interaction with the people rather than the game itself.
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My best advice is don't play Zerg.
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Try playing a game without human interaction. I play GTA 4. I beat up some homeless people, cops would chase me, I would massacre the cops in many ways possible. Inventory weapons, SWAT Tank, Combat Helicopter and everything would be hilariously brutal.
I myself rage over games at times but I guess GTA calms me down because there is no pressure in this game at all and the fun gives me good vibes. It might work for you. If not, call a shrink.
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The positive thing here is you recognize that you have a problem and that's half the battle. It's clear what needs to be done here. If some recreational activity you are doing in your life affects you so negatively, you just stop doing it. If you have become alcoholic or a smoker, you quit.
If you must stay a gamer, there are plenty of other games where you don't have to complete against anyone that could trigger your rage. Try some of those. Say goodbye to SC2... for you it is clearly not worth it.
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On May 09 2013 12:31 Polygamy wrote:
My best advice is don't play Zerg.
My best advice is play Zerg.
In WoL.
:D
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On May 09 2013 09:10 Lauriel wrote:"... I'm a highly competitive person, which is why I've been successful at...well everything..." Show nested quote +On May 09 2013 09:02 Diks wrote:
May I ask you;
How do you feel when you do win ? This took me off guard. Honestly? Relieved, more than anything.
So what I'm reading here is that defeat of any kind is a highly foreign thing to you and that you've internalized that as part of your identity. People probably recognize you as the kind of person who does well and is successful~ When you begin to "prove" to yourself that all those positive things are invalid, it can cause a chain reaction of emotions.
You might need to downscale the importance of starcraft to you somehow. If it's a trivial thing that you don't always have to put 100% effort in when you play, that might help buffer the anger. The suggestion to play with friends could be good too; it's easier to regain a bit of ground than it is to try and re-impress a stranger.
Try playing in team games a few times to see how you react there where you don't have quite as much say in the flow of the game and see how that effects you. I'd predict not nearly as much because you're not as accountable for losses.
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I raged pretty hard one time while playing SC2 a year or two ago; Smashed my fist onto the desk. Broke it. That was enough for me to realise how poorly I was acting. Haven't had a rage incident like it before or since. I have however scaled back on the competitive gaming because I know at my age (around yours) I don't have the time to put into it anymore, and it's easier to avoid competition than to change my competitive nature. Now I just watch SC2 for my competitive fix and play mostly single player games.
If you're being honest about this behaviour only coming out in SC2, then avoid SC2. If you have a propensity to act like this in other areas of your life, then you really should look for some professional help.
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On May 09 2013 12:47 AzureKnight wrote:(Page2) Show nested quote +On May 09 2013 09:10 Lauriel wrote:"... I'm a highly competitive person, which is why I've been successful at...well everything..." On May 09 2013 09:02 Diks wrote:
May I ask you;
How do you feel when you do win ? This took me off guard. Honestly? Relieved, more than anything. So what I'm reading here is that defeat of any kind is a highly foreign thing to you and that you've internalized that as part of your identity. People probably recognize you as the kind of person who does well and is successful~ When you begin to "prove" to yourself that all those positive things are invalid, it can cause a chain reaction of emotions. You might need to downscale the importance of starcraft to you somehow. If it's a trivial thing that you don't always have to put 100% effort in when you play, that might help buffer the anger. The suggestion to play with friends could be good too; it's easier to regain a bit of ground than it is to try and re-impress a stranger. Try playing in team games a few times to see how you react there where you don't have quite as much say in the flow of the game and see how that effects you. I'd predict not nearly as much because you're not as accountable for losses.
I think this is very close to the truth. Excellent insight - thanks!
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Try playing BroodWar competitively instead. It might not solve your anger problems, but it will at leat make you feel silly about getting so mad at SC2.
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On May 09 2013 12:29 nstrike wrote:
You mentioned that it often takes a few losses before you rage, which presents you with an opportunity to intervene and regulate your emotions before they get out of control.
Pay attention to your emotional state as you are playing (or at the end of each game). Learn to identify the physical signs of anger that your body presents (such as increased heart rate, quicker breathing, feeling hot in the face, clenched muscles, repetitive movements, etc.). As you identify these physical manifestations of your increasing rage, tell yourself to take a break and use calming strategies (deep slow breathing, go for a run, etc.). Interrupt the cycle before it gets out of control.
You may also find it helpful to keep a journal. After each game, do a quick write of what happened and how you felt. Not only does doing this force you to take time between losses, but it also forces you to pay attention to your emotional state (and might even be a worthwhile sc2 improvement strategy). The key to this is building the habit of journaling while you are not upset.
The earlier advice about being mindful of precipitating factors (not enough sleep, lack of exercise, skipping meals, family or work stress) is excellent as well. Know that any of these factors increases the likelihood of a rage attack.
There is nothing wrong with feeling angry, and each of us has different triggers. The key is being able to ensure that we are in control of our anger, and we do not let it control us. So we need to be mindful of our emotional state, and take actions that will regulate our emotions before they get out of control.
Also good advice. Being self-aware is important.
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On May 09 2013 09:14 Lauriel wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On May 09 2013 09:06 Holy_AT wrote:
Does every loss trigger this, only ladder games or when you get BMed ?
How do you feel when playing ?
And what exactly is triggering it ?
Just loosing cant be the reason because you will always loose a game when you play a bunch, and I doubt that you explode everyday.
Imagine a situation in real live where you actually felt beeing cheated or humiliated, how did you react there ? Did it also enrage you ? Not every loss. In fact, I can lose 3-4 in a row and not rage. It's when I go on a losing streak, or lose in a way that I know I shouldn't have. In real life if I feel I've been cheated, wronged, or humiliated, I redouble my efforts to prove to the other person that they made a mistake, or atone for the mistake that I've made. Maybe part of the problem is that I have no chance to atone for a loss on the ladder against an opponent. It's something to think about.
Your story feels so familiar to me., I am engaged to a great girl etc, life is pretty grand.
(About me: 31, engaged, great job, etc)
But, sometimes, i just can't get over that feeling of being 'cheated', or wronged etc, it feels like some sort of stain on 'me' personally. I've broken 2 monitors (put keyboard into them), countless keyboards, etc.
I stopped playing for a full year, between WOL and HOTS, it has really helped.
Taking the time off (no streams, no TL, no reddit), playing some other games etc really helps.
Coming back now, i've found new ways to deal with that feeling. It's still there sometimes, but it doesnt effect me like before (I really cant explain it mate, I think the time off just gave me perspective). Playing other games really helped I think, as did taking a long extended break.
I love the competitive nature of RTS (and Sc2) and dont want to give it up.
Only other suggestion I have for you is set a rule (which I've done now), anymore than 3 losses in a row, I take a break for at least 1 hour. Do anything else (clean up, do washing, chat to your partner, watch what your partner is doing, **** your partner, play with the cat/dog, go to sleep, anything to get your mind off it)
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I used to be a sore loser as a kid. It got to the point where, at around the age of 10 everyone i knew would just let me win.
I started off raging in starcraft (though not as physically), I got over it by playing a lot of games - in the end i just didnt care anymore.
I feel its helped me a lot in real life too, i hardly care about losing games anymore. i just try my best and congratulate the other person.
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I'm not sure if you actually have a pathological kind of problem cause I'm not a psychologist. But my guess is, since you don't exhibit this anywhere else, and otherwise your life is pretty much a-ok, it's probably not that. So I'm just gonna give you my thoughts on this.
Starcraft is a special kind of competition for a few reasons.
1) You rarely physically SEE your opponent.
2) It is a game of wits and intellect. Yes, half of it is mechanics, but the other half is about out-smarting your opponent.
3) It is a personal game (at least one on one is)
This means when you lose, it is automatically a statement about whose brain is bigger. And when you think about how your opponent must feel, you see this smug expression on his face. He must think he's better than you now. He is probably thinking about how much of a scrub you are. This worthless fuck probably lives in his parent's basement, and now he thinks he's better than you. So, what can you do about it? Nothing. Go re? Nope, because deep down you know he will just beat you again. Tell him how he's a worthless sack of shit, and you are a successful man with a hot girlfriend? He'll just laugh in your face. Now take all that and compound it. You just lost 3 times in a row to fuckers just like that guy. Okay now maybe slamming your fist against the keyboard is just what happens.
If none of this sounds familiar to you, I don't have any advice for you, sorry. This is the reason why I personally get mad "at the game" sometimes. But you know, not really at the game, but at the fictional strawman monster I've built up of my opponent. This is why a lot of people avoid 1v1 I think, because of it's very personal nature. They gravitate to team games, because when you lose, it's the team losing. It's the whole team's fault usually. So you pretty much have two choices. You can stop playing 1v1 and go to 4v4 where nothing makes any sense, it's just a bunch of shit everywhere and you attack, and if you lose, who cares, it's your team's fault. OR you can man the fuck up, and drill these into your head:
Losing a game does not mean your opponent is smarter or better than you.
Losing a game does not mean your opponent THINKS he's smarter or better than you.
Acknowledge your opponent deserved the win.
You are no lesser for meeting defeat, if anything, you are stronger.
FFS stop thinking that you've GOTTA END ON A WIN. That will kill you. When you lose three times in a row, stop, watch the replays, figure out why you are sucking so bad, and then go do something else.
Relish your victories, and study your defeats.
???
Profit
*Honestly, this is advice I should take myself. Lol
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The answer is pretty simple and you already know what it is: grow up. If you drive recklessly as you said because of a video game, you should be in for treatment - no questions asked. Grow up.
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The thing I have found is that self-control is the most important thing as I have some issues of my own to deal with (not the same as yours but similar). What I've found that helps (note it doesn't fix my issues but merely makes it easier to deal with) is to have a strict schedule in life. Force yourself to do things that are good for you but maybe you don't want to do. I took up running and hated it and now I love it but the issue is still that waking myself up and being consistent with it has been really hard. However it is a great way to practice my self control and teach my body to do only what I want it to do. Your mind is the same as it needs to be forced into submission. Physical activity can be a really great way to convince yourself how to disregard your thoughts and keep pushing yourself.
Also professional help has been at least semi helpful for me and is not to be entirely disregarded. Although this issue only exists in SC2 it could very well carry over into other parts of your life later on. It might be something to worry about in general because maybe other things don't make you so mad but if something else does make you mad would you be as out of control as you are in the SC2 situation? That is where you start to make irreparable mistakes in relationships that you will regret forever. I think it is worth looking at this not as "I need to learn not to be mad in SC2" but as "I need to learn to cool down when I get angry". I would worry in your case that if something else made you mad you would have a similar problem in that situation.
On a side note: If you are religious that is another good place to teach yourself self control as it can be very difficult to be consistent in that as well.
To those saying just grow up: Not everyone was blessed with a mind that works and functions as it should in all situations. Maybe you don't have this problem but I am sure there are other parts of your life that are screwed up as well so don't judge people and minimalize their issues just because they have the balls to admit their problems and seek help.
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I believe OP mentioned something I've also thought about before, mostly the fact that when you lose a game sometimes, it just ends abruptly, the opponent goes away, the map disappears, your positioning, buildings, etc. are just gone in a flash. There is no way to get quick "revenge" on anything, you just queue up again and are thrown into a different situation. Contrast that to say, and FPS like Call of Duty (yeah yeah), where you respawn pretty quickly, and have a chance to kill that opponent again. Usually on the same map under similar circumstances. I think being unable to get some form of revenge can have a very negative effect that builds up, and I'm not sure myself how to control it.
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My best friend had a very similar issue... He's gotten a lot better over the last couple years and I really have to agree with qxc's advice. A lot of improvement came from when he started eating a bit better, exorcising again, and generally taking better care of himself (he also became a part time instructor for a Muay Thai school to give credit to those that recommended a martial art, but he was doing better and just exorcising before he started training again). He still gets pissed at times but not to a blind rage point.
Out of curiosity he would describe the episodes as things actually turning red, do you notice any changes when you go into a rage?
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I have experienced similar rage issues. Not to the degree that you're experiencing them, but I did have one moment where I lost control of my actions. I was on a losing streak and after my 12th loss, I slammed my monitor against the wall, threw my headphones down and walked outside. It was winter, so it was pretty cold out...I ended up staying outside for 30 minutes before the cold was too much. This was at 2:30am, so I frightened my fiance while she was asleep. I've also broken a keyboard, and threw a book into a door (ironically, my WoL poster is covering the hole, lol). I don't do that anymore, and I'll talk about what I did to help make changes.
8 hours of sleep was very important to me. Often, I would find that when I would play in a sleep deprived state that my game suffered immensely, and my emotions were more errant. I refuse to play SC2 if I am not well rested.
I only play ranked when I feel like I have the time to really play, and improve. I found that if I hopped on the ladder with the mentality of "I don't want to get better, I just want the points." and I would lose, and get beyond angry. I would just start to cheese and do stupid, impatient shit in an attempt to get more points. Being able to mentally separate my own feeling of self worth and ladder points was essential in getting me to calm down.
Being OK with ending a ladder session on a loss was also a big step for me. My old mentality was "I'm not going to bed until I get 1 more win" which lead to all sorts of problems.
I felt a lot of rage during loses because I would judge myself quite harshly. I would draw an equivalence between my in-game performance and my own intelligence. In this game, there are no teammates to blame...no other person to shove a loss on to. If you lose, it's all on you. I've had to realize that losing doesn't make me stupid, or dumb, or any of the other things I convinced myself that I was. WhiteRa's "More gg, more skill" helped me a lot here. Also, watching professionals lose helped me be OK with my own losses. Sometimes I would tune into a stream and watch a grand master lose to the same thing I just lost too and I would feel much better about my loss.
I have learned that taking a 1-2 minute break between each game (win or loss) is a good way to let your mind calm down. Constantly playing SC2, with no breaks, is similar to constantly bench pressing with no breaks. Would you ever lift weights without stopping? No! You take breaks between your sets to let your muscles recover. Do the same thing for your brain with SC2. I fill those 1-2 minute breaks with different activities depending on how I feel. If I had a great win, I will watch the replay and re-live my glory. If I lose to something really aggravating (like cheese), I will do push ups or sit ups or some physical exercise. If it was a normal-ish game, I will usually browse reddit for a bit, or maybe watch a pro play.
My last piece of advice is to not treat the ladder like a fierce place for competition. When I read that, I got an image in my head of 2 gladiators in the colosseum circling each other, prepared to dual to the death. I use the Find Match button as not a way to compete, but a way to improve my own mechanics and game play/knowledge.
I hope some of this helps. Good luck to you.
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You have real anger problems if you can't control yourself with sc. Don't blame the game though. It might be a safe way to deal with issues. Most of uncontrolled mental illness comes down to physical health, awareness, and limitation. You need to understand why you can accept being so angry. And be aware when it happens.
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Don't quit. Why do I say this? A) Your anger means you are passionate about StarCraft II. B) If you were willing to stop playing, you wouldn't be on TL right now. You clearly want to play, and da StarCraftz give you da feelz ^_^ That's AWESOME; never forget that :D
I have very similar problems. I have yet to do long-lasting damage to myself or my environment AFAIK (I do have a trapped nerve in my right hand that acts up from time to time, but IDK if that happened with rage; also, I broke a headset once when I was really sleep-deprived and angry). Here are my recommendations, based on what does and doesn't work for me:
1) Maintaining calm. Any time you feel anger setting on after a loss, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ANYTHING THEY ARE TOUCHING (this is to avoid physical damage to both gear and hands). Bow your head. Close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deeply. It's OK to be angry. Breathing is the best way to be angry.
2) Do not click "Find Match" until you are over the loss. This is much easier said than done, but if you can train yourself not to ladder angry, life becomes much easier and you slowly make your way towards being OK with a loss. Tilting is never good for your state of mind or your game.
3) Think about the specific error that cost you the game. You don't have to watch the replay. It's hard as hell to watch the replay when you're this affected by a loss. But remember that larger feeling of general failure you feel with a loss? When you get down to specifics, you realize it wasn't a general failure, but a very small and palpable slip. Now you're problem-solving, not failing. This is the transition that many pro players really have down. A great example is CatZ, who will almost always follow up a loss with a statement of what he did wrong, like, "I fucked up the transition" or "I didn't have enough [unit]" or something like that.
4) I strongly suggest some kind of therapy. I recommend therapy for anyone with a pulse, but especially when you seem to have a good understanding and foundation for what you want and where you want to be with this specific aspect of your life, I think a little therapy goes a long way to getting you in the right place, especially with StarCraft. Just talking to a professional a couple times a month can work wonders.
5) is a quote from the esteemed Zngel, a.k.a. Day[9]: "Do NOT forget to HAVE FUN! Laddering is SUPER fun, but if you're on a losing streak and feeling frustrated, don't force 1v1ing! Go play some 4v4s or some UMS. There's a billion different ways to play SC2, all of which are fun in completely different ways. As a community, we tend to focus on 1v1 (and competitive tournament play as observers!) but there's SO MUCH FUN TO BE HAD ACTUALLY IM GOING TO GO PLAY 2V2 RIGHT NOW [source]"
That's my $0.02. Don't give up! StarCraft II is awesome, and it's awesome that you want to play it! Best of luck :D
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EPT
