A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal. Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.
“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."
On January 29 2009 06:07 StimD wrote: Well deserved. Hope it doesn't work out for him.
Hahaha
On January 29 2009 06:05 KingofHearts wrote: he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a woman.
Haha what an unnecessary way to make an otherwise valid point.
Well hopefully the racoon got himself a nice piece of meat.
I have caught two racoons before. One male and the other female. The female was preggo when we caught them. They were funny creatures. We kept them for like 3-4 months and let them go when the female had her offspring.
of note, racoons are rare in the blue areas, and "Russia" has no raccoons, so unless he is from the Caucasus, story is bullshit; and even if he is, the story sounds like bullshit, they don't even mention a location, a hospital name etc...
Why a raccoon? At least stick to more passive members of the animal kingdom like goats and sheep. Raccoons are like wolverines with small-animal, inferiority issues.
of note, racoons are rare in the blue areas, and "Russia" has no raccoons, so unless he is from the Caucasus, story is bullshit; and even if he is, the story sounds like bullshit, they don't even mention a location, a hospital name etc...
It might be real. They mention at least the age, the hospital and the location. Russians do tend to make up their news though.
On January 29 2009 06:05 KingofHearts wrote: he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a human.
Fixed. The guy must've been pretty hammered to even consider sticking his thing in its mouth. Look at all those teeth...
On January 29 2009 06:05 KingofHearts wrote: he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a woman.
of note, racoons are rare in the blue areas, and "Russia" has no raccoons, so unless he is from the Caucasus, story is bullshit; and even if he is, the story sounds like bullshit, they don't even mention a location, a hospital name etc...
SNopes.com
i wonder if shitty internet news sites are now posting random funny fake news in order to start memes?
On January 29 2009 09:12 Hawk wrote: Ain't the sun a bs paper
Sadly, it's real, I was taking the train a few weeks ago and encountered a copy of the sun instead of the usual free crappy Dutch papers. My opinion of the British media has significantly lowered after reading it, bunch of judgmental subjective bullshit that made me feel as if it was written by a soccer mom and the rest is filled with stuff about celebrities and football. It's like they tried to come up with the ultimate newspaper for white trash. It's a worse medium for news than Bill O' Reilley.
On January 29 2009 07:59 Hippopotamus wrote:It might be real. They mention at least the age, the hospital and the location. Russians do tend to make up their news though.
- ahhh I get it now.. sorry, I retract my previous comments, this news could be real after all - bad translation by the sun - it was not a "raccoon" at all (since Russia doesn't have wild racoons) it was a "raccoon-poloskun" or otherwise known as a "racoon dog" - a critter from the dog,wolf, fox family - which can be found in that area (tver region according to the article you posted) - they are way bigger.
It is also unusual in that its curved claws enable it to climb trees; the only other canid with this ability is the Gray Fox. It does not bark and it turns its tail into an inverted U to express dominance.
- u learn something new every day lol, dumb drunk should have watched out for the tail sign, he probably saw it as an invitation lol..
On January 29 2009 07:41 Flaccid wrote: Why a raccoon? At least stick to more passive members of the animal kingdom like goats and sheep. Raccoons are like wolverines with small-animal, inferiority issues.
This perfectly describes the 2 coons I trapped. They were like lil wolverines that had MMA matches...Was FUN eye candy.
On January 29 2009 09:12 Hawk wrote: Ain't the sun a bs paper
On January 29 2009 09:12 Hawk wrote: Ain't the sun a bs paper
Sadly, it's real, I was taking the train a few weeks ago and encountered a copy of the sun instead of the usual free crappy Dutch papers. My opinion of the British media has significantly lowered after reading it, bunch of judgmental subjective bullshit that made me feel as if it was written by a soccer mom and the rest is filled with stuff about celebrities and football. It's like they tried to come up with the ultimate newspaper for white trash. It's a worse medium for news than Bill O' Reilley.
of note, racoons are rare in the blue areas, and "Russia" has no raccoons, so unless he is from the Caucasus, story is bullshit; and even if he is, the story sounds like bullshit, they don't even mention a location, a hospital name etc...
Just like every other 'shocking' news thread on TL EAT IT UP! OM NOM NOM NOM.
like others have already pointed out, this is a trash tabloid. in addition, the common racoon isn't even found in russia oh physician already posted this. well anyway it's still dumb
On January 29 2009 13:14 CTStalker wrote: like others have already pointed out, this is a trash tabloid. in addition, the common racoon isn't even found in russia oh physician already posted this. well anyway it's still dumb
Are you trying to say that no raccoons exist in parts of the world not colored red or blue? please.
On January 29 2009 13:14 CTStalker wrote: like others have already pointed out, this is a trash tabloid. in addition, the common racoon isn't even found in russia oh physician already posted this. well anyway it's still dumb
On January 29 2009 07:59 Hippopotamus wrote:It might be real. They mention at least the age, the hospital and the location. Russians do tend to make up their news though.
- ahhh I get it now.. sorry, I retract my previous comments, this news could be real after all - bad translation by the sun - it was not a "raccoon" at all (since Russia doesn't have wild racoons) it was a "raccoon-poloskun" or otherwise known as a "racoon dog" - a critter from the dog,wolf, fox family - which can be found in that area (tver region according to the article you posted) - they are way bigger.
It is also unusual in that its curved claws enable it to climb trees; the only other canid with this ability is the Gray Fox. It does not bark and it turns its tail into an inverted U to express dominance.
- u learn something new every day lol, dumb drunk should have watched out for the tail sign, he probably saw it as an invitation lol..
On January 29 2009 06:05 KingofHearts wrote: he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a woman.
How can all of you be so heartless? Poor guy. My sincerest condolences to his friends and family who have to live with this. I will keep him in my heart and pray for him.
On January 29 2009 17:26 Itachii wrote: TheSun, most reliable source of informations ever. The only good thing you can do with this newspaper is probably burn it.
Does it burn? I haven't spent any cash on it and don't plan to. Can you bust a mythbusters for me with your coin?
EPT
![[image loading]](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Raccoon-range.png)
![[image loading]](http://www.saynotocrack.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/raccoon.jpg)
EAT IT UP! OM NOM NOM NOM.
