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Active: 611 users

Raccoon bites off man's penis

Forum Index > General Forum
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dynamics
Profile Joined September 2008
United States6 Posts
January 28 2009 20:50 GMT
#1
Should have asked for consent first XD
Needless to say, I think his chances of getting laid is reduced to 0 -.-;;

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece
+ Show Spoiler +

Toothy raccoon bit off man's penis

The Sun
By STAFF REPORTER
Published: 26 Jan 2009

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
January 28 2009 20:52 GMT
#2
Hahaha, what a fucking moron. He deserved it.
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
nitram
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Canada5412 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-28 22:01:21
January 28 2009 20:54 GMT
#3
He tried to rape a raccoon? wtf lol
Darwin award?
These sites might be of more use than a StarCraft site, where the majority of posters look on WCIII as the dense misformed fetus produced during Blizzards latest miscarrige.
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-28 20:58:32
January 28 2009 20:56 GMT
#4
Hahaha, I saw "Raccoon bites off man's ..." and I knew what was coming



Anyone else see the related stories? lol
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
vx70GTOJudgexv
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3161 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-28 20:57:42
January 28 2009 20:57 GMT
#5
Ouch. Sucks to be this guy.






NOT
(-_-) BW for ever. #1 Iris fan.
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
January 28 2009 20:59 GMT
#6
racoon blowjobs are awesome
gm.tOSS
Profile Joined September 2005
Germany898 Posts
January 28 2009 21:03 GMT
#7
natural selection
HuK HuK HuK | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | There is death in the hane.
Glider
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
United States1353 Posts
January 28 2009 21:05 GMT
#8
so he got drunk went outside and found a raccoon???
KingofHearts
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Japan562 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-28 21:06:04
January 28 2009 21:05 GMT
#9
he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a woman.
moshi moshi~
StimD
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Norway738 Posts
January 28 2009 21:07 GMT
#10
Well deserved. Hope it doesn't work out for him.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-28 21:12:21
January 28 2009 21:09 GMT
#11
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

wow. Thats no way to keep ahead in life.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
anch
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States5457 Posts
January 28 2009 21:10 GMT
#12
should find a dead raccoon.
tdotkrayz
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States136 Posts
January 28 2009 21:12 GMT
#13
Why the mouth? Why the mouth?
SmoKing2012
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States385 Posts
January 28 2009 21:16 GMT
#14
On January 29 2009 05:56 BanZu wrote:
Hahaha, I saw "Raccoon bites off man's ..." and I knew what was coming


For some reason I felt fairly confident it was going to be Face
How do you like them apples, ho-bag? And how do you like those very same apples, Eggars!
FreeDoM[YA]
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
Canada855 Posts
January 28 2009 21:26 GMT
#15
In Soviet Russia! Racoon gets you!
Last Romantic
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States20661 Posts
January 28 2009 21:32 GMT
#16
the sun? seriously?
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
FirstBorn
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Romania3955 Posts
January 28 2009 21:36 GMT
#17
Okay I conffes I laughed.


But seriously, I don't know what's more fucking up, the man trying to get a blowjob from a raccoon or the raccoon biting his penis off.
SonuvBob: Yes, the majority of TL is college-aged, and thus clearly stupid.
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24680 Posts
January 28 2009 21:38 GMT
#18
The same thing happened to me.

On January 29 2009 06:07 StimD wrote:
Well deserved. Hope it doesn't work out for him.

Hahaha

On January 29 2009 06:05 KingofHearts wrote:
he deserved it for trying to rape something. they should put him to jail. raping a raccoon is just as bad as raping a woman.

Haha what an unnecessary way to make an otherwise valid point.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
January 28 2009 21:43 GMT
#19
wow hardcore failure
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
o3.power91
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Bahrain5288 Posts
January 28 2009 21:45 GMT
#20
Moral learned: never try to rape a racoon
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