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Just thought of another one that I tell no one. Luckily, this is the internet so I don't give a shit.
I'm 8 years old and on vacation in Portugal just like every year with my parents. We go there to visit family and friends yearly. We usually stay there a month and we're always hanging out with family or out somewhere. I'm never really in town long enough to make friends with people there, so I usually just hang out with my cousins that are around my age. One day, all my cousins decide to get sick so I'm pretty much all alone in town (a pretty small/somewhat rural town) and I'm bored out of my mind. There's nothing good on TV so I go out and try to see if there are any other kids my age to hang out with.
After about 5 minutes of walking I find a group of kids my age and start talking with them. Apparently, they are all playing hide and seek and invite me to play with them as long as I agree to be the seeker next turn. I agree with them and become the seeker. I count to 10, let everyone hide and can't find anyone. Every kid but one made it back to base without me even seeing them get back there. Eventually, they all start giving me hints on where the last kid is hiding. I go to where everyone says he is and as I'm turning the corner, I see this HUGE FUCKING CHICKEN. I'm 8 and rather short so this chicken looked fucking huge. It starts coming at me and I start thinking "HOLY SHIT THIS THING IS GONA EAT ME." I slowly back away and then all of a sudden, I feel water dripping on my head. My first reaction is "What the...?" so I quickly back away and look up. I see the last kid I was looking for and see his fucking dick hanging out of his pants. That asshole pissed on me while all the other kids watched. Talk about embarrassing. My Grandmother, who was one of the more respected elders in the town cause she owned the town's grocery store yelled at them like no tomorrow. They apologized and I never played with them again.
To this day, I still want to punch the kid in the face for doing that.
And health class senior year in H.S.
At the time the joke, "my dick is 2 inches... *pause* off the floor" is popular amongst students and my friend decided to use that joke while we were talking about sex. The teacher is known for being a hard ass and not liking jokes, so my friend knew at least detention was coming from saying this out loud. He didn't care though and always defied the teacher on a daily basis because he was trying to be cool, so they already had a poor relationship.
Friend: "My dick is 2 inches" *pause* O-
Teacher: Well, that's a problem. Do you want me to call the nurse so she can take a look at it for you or are you going to grow up and not tell the entire class the length of your penis?
My friend had nothing and everyone started laughing. My friend got totally owned and didn't live that one down for the rest of senior year.
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Back in 1st or 2nd grade i was feeling sick in my stomach and in the middle of the classes (thats when all your classes are happenning in the same room with the same teacher) i shit my pants really badly.
It gets worse. I couldn't really find a nerve to say to my teacher what i did so i just sat there and begged for the classes to be over.
During the breaks everyone was running around but i kept sitting being absolutely devastated.
Some of the classmates finally felt the fucking smell of shit and started saying like "who farted" etc. I almost paniced.
It gets worse. The teacher asks me to go to the board, but i just sit there in silence. She asked again, but again i was just sitting like a retard.
She then comes to my desk, finally smells it, says: "i understood everything" and says: "get your things and go home".
She saved my life that day, that cool old lady.
PS. My mom and dad laughed to death that day.
EDIT: this is really so embarassing that i feel embarassed even now, after posting the story to TL.net more than 20 years after this happened. This sucks.
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I'm pretty sure I got my school's old IT people fired.
Me and this other guy used to always be fighting about something. One day, I was angry enough with him that I decided to try and screw up his IT project, so I started randomly changing things on the server in an attempt to mess with him.
It turns out the IT people left permissions on for server changes, as I found out when every computer in the room began printing error messages and logging people out.
It took the IT guys about 4 weeks to fix it, and every document on the server was destroyed.
We had new IT people the next year.
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In High School... I ended up having my thong showing a little when I went up to give a speech about being conservative... I bent over and... yaaaah
In 4th grade, I ended up puking on someone when they were walking in front of me o.o
Edit: Just remember something... about 5 years ago, two ROTC guys were "Helping" each other out under neath a lunch table. They got caught and their Sargent had to get called down.
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One of my history teachers had a relationship with a student, she was young and had a general idea of a comfortable teaching environment, not surprised. Though there was another teacher that was found to be a pedophile, when the feds found tons of "material" on his PC. He seemed pretty obvious to everyone and I was told many kids had some weird moments with him. That occurred when I was still in school, during my sophomore year.
And this story was reported a day after the teacher-student relationship allegation but I only found out recently, pretty awkward if you tell me. Involves 2 female teachers having an "intimate" moment fully unclothed in a classroom while school was still in session... The janitor found out and mistook them as students and reported it.
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Marshall Islands3404 Posts
In middle school I had to piss really bad once during a class and the teacher wouldnt let me leave the room when I asked, so since I sat in the back corner of the class, I somehow pissed in the corner with no one noticing. still don't know how I managed that one to this day.
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On February 10 2011 05:08 fLyiNgDroNe wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Back in 1st or 2nd grade i was feeling sick in my stomach and in the middle of the classes (thats when all your classes are happenning in the same room with the same teacher) i shit my pants really badly.
It gets worse. I couldn't really find a nerve to say to my teacher what i did so i just sat there and begged for the classes to be over.
During the breaks everyone was running around but i kept sitting being absolutely devastated.
Some of the classmates finally felt the fucking smell of shit and started saying like "who farted" etc. I almost paniced.
It gets worse. The teacher asks me to go to the board, but i just sit there in silence. She asked again, but again i was just sitting like a retard.
She then comes to my desk, finally smells it, says: "i understood everything" and says: "get your things and go home".
She saved my life that day, that cool old lady.
PS. My mom and dad laughed to death that day.
EDIT: this is really so embarassing that i feel embarassed even now, after posting the story to TL.net more than 20 years after this happened. This sucks.
awe  poor little guy! at least your teacher was nice
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This was in 8th grade. I had to buy a new pair of PE shorts because someone stole mine from my locker (don't ask I have no idea why), but they ran out of PE shorts in the guys locker room. So my PE teacher tells me to go to the girl's locker room and buy one from there (unisex shorts). Also we had to have our PE clothes on before they took roll or we'd get marked down for it. The girls usually took longer to change and leave the locker room, and I saw my PE teacher walking out of the guys locker room to take roll...so I made the hard choice, I took a deep breath, marched right into the girls locker room. There were some gasps, catcalls, but in the end plenty of laughter, all directed towards me.
The rest is kind of a blur now, I remember being totally embarrassed, but I also remember my friends saying I was a total baller for doing it. But, in the end I got my 5 points for being in uniform.
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This one time a German teacher and an English teacher at my high school were caught doing the dirty deed in a closet.
And she wasn't good looking at all. Ridiculous, I know! Like, I'd totally understand it if she was a fine mega-babe, but this lady was barely a 4, maybe a 7 in Ohio.
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Mine is simple:
Countless Middle School boners in gym with gym shorts/sweats. Since I'm not "hung", it was extra embarrassing.
Oh, and one time in 5th grade, I jokingly asked a girl if I could "lick her". I had no idea was that truely meant, and was just thinking her arm or something. She freaked out and told the teacher, at which point I was immediately sent to the Principal's Office. She explained what it really meant, and then told my parents. My dad thought it was hilarious, and then next week, sent me to school with a shirt that said "A Lick for Good Luck!"
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Got caught staring at my english teachers huge tits... twice.
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On the family vacation when I was around 8 years old we happened to be walking from the beach back to the condo. I for whatever reason decided to turn my head and spit on the ground but we happened to be passing a family and it landed on some teenage girl's foot. "OMG HE SPIT ON MY FOOT COMMENCED" I think I might have apologized, everyone was in this kind of wtfwhocares mode and we went on our way. I wasn't even embarrassed, it was just weird.
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I think in like 6th grade or 7th, I was going to gym. I always put deodorant on as a precautionary thing, but I had never really experienced body odor before. So I had run out the previous day, and forgot to bring a new stick, and was like "Ah well fuck it, I've never gotten BO before." Sure enough, I was smelling pretty ripe after gym was over. I was kinda panicking in the locker room, asking everyone if they had some axe, or spray, but do to them being dicks, everyone had "run out" that day.
My friends offered their deodorant sticks to me, but I was, and still am, a huge germaphobe, so I declined. I figured I could make to through the next 2 classes no problem, I'll just tuck my arms in really close to my body, and trap the smell. So I go into my english class, and within maybe 2 minutes, the room just reeks. Everyone who walked in all were all disgusted and laughing, and I had never felt more embarrassed. As far as I know, nobody knew it was me, as I was towards to back, and the closest person was 3 seats away. But of course, it was the hottest girl in class. So I tried to play it off cool, and proclaim my innocence, and told her "Man it really stinks, wonder who it is."
The class lasted for fucking ever, and I only had 1 more to go, and it was science. Now my science teacher was pretty cute for a teacher, and we got along really well. And that day just happened to be demo day. As if I was paying for a crime I never committed, she felt obligated to call on me to be her demo partner in front of the whole class. At this point, I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go home. The class finished, and I think my teacher knew the BO was emanating from me, but she didn't say anything about it. I just remember those 2 hours being the worst, and most humiliating moments of my life in school. Needless to say, I never forgot my deodorant again.
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Don't think this was particularly embarrassing because our French teacher was a truely awesome guy, but he often had large quantities of "artistic" nudity shuffling on his laptop's screensaver, which was always projected onto the whiteboard.
In addition to this when he would open up the start menu on his laptop you could see that he had named his computer "TheSexMachine", which he denied typing that name in.
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[B]
Oh, and one time in 5th grade, I jokingly asked a girl if I could "lick her". I had no idea was that truely meant, and was just thinking her arm or something. She freaked out and told the teacher, at which point I was immediately sent to the Principal's Office. She explained what it really meant, and then told my parents. My dad thought it was hilarious, and then next week, sent me to school with a shirt that said "A Lick for Good Luck!"
Your dad's a legend!!
I can't complain about this one being awkward, but It was. I doubt anything that will happen in my life will top it.
At my school, assemblies as are conducted by the seniors, and are therefore awesome. There's always randomness and hilarity with half-time shows, DJ's, and games and stuff.
This time, is was Valentine's Day week (last year), and the plan was for someone to be Cupid. And by, "be Cupid," they mean for someone to run around completely naked (except for bright pink spandex underwear that read, "Awesome Dude," on the back) with a bow an arrow and fake wings. Complete with dancing, "flirting," (lots of pelvic work), running around, and general raving.
I was the only one who they knew would be okay with the spandex (I row, so i'm used to it). I was the only one who could do it, and I didn't want the guilt of rejecting it and ruining the assembly.
It was embarrassing, but everyone was more laughing with me than at me. No one could make fun of me, because, frankly, no one else had the balls to do it.
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During high school one of the male teachers got caught on an adult site at school, so they investigated his computer and found out that he and some female teachers had been making pornos together in the classrooms. Didn't find out how it ended but it was interesting none the less.
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In PE class the girls had their own seperate volleyball court and had hit the ball into ours. A lot of them were hot so I decided to try to kick the ball back into the court heroically but I overshot the kick and hit the top of the ball, causing my foot to roll off it and my body to do a backwards face plant. My head hurt for the rest of the day, and my pride for the whole semester. EVERYONE laughed and brought it up all the time. >_>
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On February 10 2011 08:02 forgotten0ne wrote:
Mine is simple:
Countless Middle School boners in gym with gym shorts/sweats. Since I'm not "hung", it was extra embarrassing.
Oh, and one time in 5th grade, I jokingly asked a girl if I could "lick her". I had no idea was that truely meant, and was just thinking her arm or something. She freaked out and told the teacher, at which point I was immediately sent to the Principal's Office. She explained what it really meant, and then told my parents. My dad thought it was hilarious, and then next week, sent me to school with a shirt that said "A Lick for Good Luck!"
HAHAHAH what a freakin baller dad.
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Last year, I had a biology teacher that was a witch. A big, hilarious druggie named Beans hated her quite a lot. I've got two stories about this.
She said something about vesicles, and it sounded a lot like testicles, so I look back at this kid, who I was pretty good buds with, and gave a little inaudible laugh. He busts up laughing. She hates him, and gives him a lecture about how immature he was.
Another time he was just giving her a ton of crap about how much he hated her class and things like that. She tells him that if he doesn't stop, she'll call for the principal (who happened to be my grandfather).
Beans: "Forget that, I'm leaving." He gets up and goes to the door.
He has his hand on the doorknob, when she says, "I also know the number to your juvenile officer."
He pauses, stops in thought. A second later, he says, "Alright, it's not worth it."
It was kind of one of those things you had to be there for, and had to know the kid for, but it was so freaking hilarious at the time.
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One time i masturbated in class. A girl was underneath a desk and she showed me her boobs while i jerked my gerk. It was in high school senior year encase you were wondering. It wasn't really a desk either as much as one of those things they put computers on and it sticks out from the wall.
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EPT
