High Thread - Page 280

On January 24 2010 16:50 ragnasaur wrote:
has anyone tried San Pedro cactus or peyote? i read that it has mescaline in it and one could buy a san pedro cactus at target.

in gherminations profile:
So a couple of weeks ago I was in the bathroom. I broke my back as a young child and even though I can still walk, run, et cetera, I get a sore back very frequently, and a good soak in the tub can relieve some of the pain.


So, at about 2:30 AM (I work a night shift; on my days off I am up to some crazy hours) I draw a bath, get my soak on, and prepare to feel the pain disappear.


After about five minutes, I can feel the pain unwinding. I am starting to fall asleep when I see a skitter of movement out of my periphery. I turn and there is the biggest spider I have ever seen.


I don't mean "kind of big". I don't mean "not small". I mean this shit was tarantula-sized and he was staring me down from the five feet or so between tub and door.


I am massively arachnophobic and as such my first instinct is to fight or flee. Since the spider is blocking my (no doubt dramatic) escape, my next move is to stand there and start yelling. The spider, who I now unconsciously refer to as "Parthanon", takes great offense to this and starts walking towards me. Slowly. Purposefully.


It is at this point that I lose my shit. With a dramatic and heroic battle cry ("OH FUCK NOOOOOO") I snatch a book off of the tank of my toilet and hurl it at Parthanon as hard as I can.


I have never thrown something so accurately in my life. The book hits Parthanon dead-on, right on the abdomen, with the spine of the book. I am standing there now, completely naked, dripping wet, and fucking freezing, panting with adrenaline and terror. I have killed it, I think.I am wrong. Parthanon starts scuttling towards the bath tub at top speed, and now I know it is fucking go time. It is either time to escape or die trying. With another book in hand, I leapt over the mammoth arachnid, hurled the book down while in mid-air (striking Parthanon, yet again, with maximum force) and, hoping that it would be distracted long enough not to kill me, I open the bathroom door, hurl myself into the tile hallway, and proceed to fall down trying to get away.


I rolled over, looking at the book now lying flat on the bathroom linoleum.
Could it be, I guessed? I'm no Arnold, but surely Parthanon could not have survived my two adrenaline-fueled impromptu missiles, right?

Wrong. The book slides off as I watch and now that spider is fucking furious. It is running at me as fast as possible and I am now screaming at the top of my lungs. Incoherently. I would later learn from my neighbours that I was screaming "FUCK" over and over again.


But I digress. Parthanon was now approaching me at top speed and my only option left was dire. I hurled myself to my feet, threw myself backwards, grabbed a shoe, and prepared to throw down.


After picking myself up, I crouched in preparation for the final battle. I knew I would only have one chance, and since I used to watch tons of bushido samurai movies, I knew that in battle the combatant who makes the first move usually loses.


I waited, muscles coiled like springs, and Parthanon finally made his mistake. Coming for my feet, he was completely oblivious to my overhand shoe-swing, and I splattered him as hard as possible.


Again. And again. And again. I'm pretty sure I was screaming during this too.His internal organs and strange, arachnid gore were splattered - I am not exaggerating - probably two feet in diameter. I picked up his corpse, took him to the toilet, and flushed it no less than fifteen times, my arms and face a gory, sticky mass of spider viscera.


The only positive side of this tale is that I have yet to see a single spider in my house since. I can only hope that I killed the patriarch spider and that my house is now listed, in their extensive spider networks, as a forbidden zone.


Yes, this happened to me, I know there is no such thing as a patriarch spider and that is not how they work.


No, I will never be in a bathroom without the lights on ever, ever again.

On January 24 2010 17:01 ghermination wrote:

Have you put any thought into the practicality of that? San Pedro cactus grow at the rate of about a foot every 50 years. By the time it got big enough to trip off of, you would be either dead or senile.

On January 26 2010 17:36 Danka wrote:

i dont know anyone here and im only here till friday with nothing to do...

On January 26 2010 18:52 gLyo wrote:
pretty sure there are better ways to find weed in ny than posting on teamliquid

On January 26 2010 20:53 Valentine wrote:
Just wondering, why are you in NYC? It seems like an odd place to just end up being bored, haha. Usually when people visit there, it's hard to be bored, eh?

On January 27 2010 00:23 Danka wrote:


Im sure there are... but if I dont know anyone here... and Im here till friday i thought I would ask for help. I understand odds are it wont happen though.



Im here on extended stopover on my way back from China, Ive been here before and seen the sights and stuff. I just want to hang this time around. bars, jazz, etc

didnt say I was bored. Just that I have nothing to do. Meaning no obligations, or work here. Just messin' around.

On January 27 2010 00:42 Danka wrote:
yeah ill try somethin like that. probably just sober up till i get home