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Calgary26004 Posts
The question wasn't "How many lifelong friends do you have?" If someone is a friend now, but we have to move apart, maybe in 5 - 10 years I won't consider him a good friend anymore. But they don't live in random locations, they live in my old city, which I go home to see my family, and thus my friends at regular intevals.
My father is 45. His best friends live hours away and they went to highschool together. He sees them maybe once or twice a year. His best friend lives in Florida, and he sees him twice a year. Come to think of it, my father has few people he would call good friends living in the same city as him, which I don't see a problem.
Look, it's not complicated:
I lived in Toronto while going to school in Kingston. My high school friends still live in Toronto; I talk to them a lot and we hang out all the time when I'm back in Toronto. We have a forum we all keep in touch with; I read and post on it 2-10 times a week. (5 people)
Many of my Kingston schoolmates lived in Toronto. When I go home we hang out also. I lived with them for four years, so I guess I think that doesn't get broken now that we don't live near each other. I keep in touch with these people through email and MSN. Whenever we get together it's like we haven't been apart. (3 people)
I now live in Calgary. Many of my schoolmates are either from Calgary or have moved to Calgary. I talk to them often and we hang out 2 times a week. (7 people).
Total: >10; I'm done with this thread.
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On October 05 2006 09:37 vGl-CoW wrote:
wow this thread sure went down the shitter
i agree with ETT's definition but you guys need to lay back and just accept that someone has a bunch of really good close friends
What do you know, youre a girl!
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i have about 7-8 actual REAL friends that i would like take a bullet for kidna thing goin
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Braavos36402 Posts
chill just clarified it...
On October 05 2006 09:38 Chill wrote:
The question wasn't "How many lifelong friends do you have?" If someone is a friend now, but we have to move apart, maybe in 5 - 10 years I won't consider him a good friend anymore. But they don't live in random locations, they live in my old city, which I go home to see my family, and thus my friends at regular intevals.
i see people that are my close friends now as people that i will never ever think to not consider them my close friends for something like location. it's simply a different interpretation of the definition. sure ok i have 30+ close friends going by chill's guidelines, i've lived in like 3-4 different cities, not to mention china.
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Canada9720 Posts
i think it's unreasonable that just because you guys have found it difficult to maintain contact with your college friends that so too must chill. no two people are alike, just as no relationship between any two people is alike.
i would number my close friends at less than 5, but maybe chill is an open and forthcoming dude who everyone can relate to. who knows? it almost seems resentful the way you're picking at him for it.
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Well, I've never actually had a friend who hasn't let me down in some major way. People I thought were my best friends for 5+ years have: dated my ex-gfs (GRRRR...), blurted out a big secret I'd confided, stolen money from me, cheated on me, borrowed rent money and tried to let it be forgotten over time. I have about 8 of these "close friends".
I have some friends I've known for like 1.5 years who are very cool, but we have yet to stand the test of time. I'll count them, so that makes: 4.
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I don't have any friend I'd talk with about anything. I don't trust people that easily and I haven't ever gotten into a situation where I needed a REALLY close friend. I do have one friend whom I consider my closest friend and sometimes we don't see each other for months, but sometimes, we see each other 3-4 times a week for a month. He got a girlfriend now, thought, so we see each other even less now than we used to. We've known each since we were three years old, but he's one year older than me, so it was natural that we split up and got new friends from different hockey/football teams and parties.
Right now, the people I spend the most time with are the guys in my class. They're not REALLY close to me, but we see each other a lot - both in and outside of school. However, I just recently got in their group, because I was in a different class than them before we all moved to a new school last year. Through them, I've got to meet their friends and now I have lots of people I call my friends.
I don't know why I never had a REALLY close friend, but I guess it's a combination of me spending time older guys before and we eventually saw each other less plus the fact that my class in my last school sucked and almost everyone was an idiot.
If I ever need to talk to someone about love problems or something, I find it easier to talk to a girl I know or just someone in my clan whom I've known for three years or more. They probably know more about my love problems than anyone else  This works out for me and I don't feel like I need to have a "REALLY CLOSE" friend right now. I wouldn't mind having one, though 
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I voted 4 just as I realised I actually have 5, but then i thought about it some more they actually are only 4.
Kinda sad that you can only fully trust less than 1/10 of the people you know.
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Canada9720 Posts
it's not sad. trust loses meaning if you give it away too freely. people are adverse to hardwork, and trust is something that can only thus be attained
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Braavos36402 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:42 CTStalker wrote:
i think it's unreasonable that just because you guys have found it difficult to maintain contact with your college friends that so too must chill. no two people are alike, just as no relationship between any two people is alike.
i would number my close friends at less than 5, but maybe chill is an open and forthcoming dude who everyone can relate to. who knows? it almost seems resentful the way you're picking at him for it.
im not really doubting his relationships with his friends or resentful (lol?) at him for having lots of friends. likely he is not far removed from college, it will only get harder from now on to keep contact. not many people in this forum have experience with that, just commenting on it.
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Does family count?
If not, 4. Hope I didnt forget any lol
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starcraft is my only real friend k?
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Calgary26004 Posts
Your definition was people I could tell anything to. People I could ask anything to.
How does your definition of what you will do after you move from your friend change at all from what I am doing with my friends? I've moved away, we're still friends. If, 50 years from now we meet up, we'll still be friends. Probably not good friends because we won't have talked in 50 years; but in your definition somehow you will still be good friends with this person having been away from them for 50 years.
Don't get it... k Bye.
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Stop deciding how many real friends other people have. Just talk about yourself rather than judging someone you've never met personally with your speculations. If someone claims they have more than 10 real friends, let them be. Why jump up about it?
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Braavos36402 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:48 Chill wrote:
Your definition was people I could tell anything to. People I could ask anything to.
How does your definition of what you will do after you move from your friend change at all from what I am doing with my friends? I've moved away, we're still friends. If, 50 years from now we meet up, we'll still be friends. Probably not good friends because we won't have talked in 50 years; but in your definition somehow you will still be friends with this person having been away from them for 50 years.
Don't get it... k Bye.
yes... i just attributed the difference in opinion to the different interpretation of what a the thread creator meant by "real friend." not really disagreeing with you.
also, i think that discussion is good and while it might seem like some statements are attacking or whatever, nobody is really insulting anyone. the whole "ok im done bye!" and then post again, then again say "ok not posting anymore." its kind of a childish way to get in the last word and a not-so-subtle attempt to annoy the other posters who you are responding to.
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On October 05 2006 09:45 CTStalker wrote:
it's not sad. trust loses meaning if you give it away too freely. people are adverse to hardwork, and trust is something that can only thus be attained
I think so. I have people that I've known since I could barely walk that I wouldn't share my deepest secrets to.
I'd like to think anyone can trust me though.
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First of all, I don't think I can classify anyone "fake" friends so I think the rest should be real friends..
Anyway just because someone can't commit to the friendship the way you will or perhaps not even you are willing, doesn't make the a real friend or not imo. You can't be a "real" friend to everyone and it's the same the other way..
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Braavos36402 Posts
yeah, i agree about the trust thing. its not really that hard to get someone to fully understand your mind and personality, nobody is really that amazing that its just so hard for a relatively intelligent, well-adjusted person to understand him or her. its just the trust that needs to be built and that really does take a lot of time.
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Now that I think about it, I really don't have any "real" friends.
T_T
I guess it's mostly my fault, though ...
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On October 05 2006 08:24 Chill wrote:
[removed quote within quote]
What? I consider nearly everyone I met on my floor in university a close friend, plus the 6 - 7 close friends from back home.
Hehe, popular boy!!  P
Yeah, I have plenty of friends (hang out friends)... but true friends, probably 1-2.
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EPT
