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zergc1
Zimbabwe961 Posts
Poll: How many REAL friends do you have? (Vote): 1 (Vote): 2 (Vote): 3 (Vote): 4 (Vote): 5 (Vote): 6+ (Vote): 10+ I mean REAL friends, not people you like to laugh & have fun with. Someone you can really trust on and who can help you when you have problems and you are 100% sure that he will never betray you etc...REAL friend ok? I personnaly only have 4 real friends and you? | ||
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Yuljan
2196 Posts
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FireBatLover
United States203 Posts
Edit: And yes they are real friends that are close to me. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:19 HasuZealot wrote: Where is 0 option? its near the wrist-cutting knives and black eye shadow | ||
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RiSE
United States3182 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
Trust me, you don't have 10 REAL friends. | ||
Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:23 EvilTeletubby wrote: Everyone who said 10+ is a liar, and probably just in school/college. Trust me, you don't have 10 REAL friends. What? I consider nearly everyone I met on my floor in university a close friend, plus the 6 - 7 close friends from back home. | ||
IntoTheWow
is awesome32274 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
-ZERO, I really haven't got a friend like this. I want that option... | ||
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Raidern
Brazil3811 Posts
and like 014912748907246 "friends" that wouldn't give a shit if I go broke for example. | ||
vGl-CoW
Belgium8305 Posts
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lugggy
450 Posts
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MTF
United States1739 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:19 Hot_Bid wrote: its near the wrist-cutting knives and black eye shadow  Just one, for me. And I'm going to be marrying her. : o | ||
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:24 Chill wrote: [removed quote within quote] What? I consider nearly everyone I met on my floor in university a close friend, plus the 6 - 7 close friends from back home. Again, those are people you like to hang out with, and I'm sure you get along with everybody, and you guys are all friends, But I think the definition of REAL friend we're going for here would mean someone wwho is ALWAYS there for you, will do ANYTHING for you, someone you trust 100% with ANY issue you could possibly have, someone who will be there through thick and thin. Someone who is more than just a regular friend. I honestly don't think you could say that about your dormmates. | ||
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lugggy
450 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:37 lugggy wrote: Well, E.T., most people are voting for 10. So do they just not know how to read, or are they really fooling themselves a bunchload, or are we just losers for not having 10+ "REAL friends" (this thread's definition)? I have some "potential REAL friends" if I really needed them, but I don't, becuase I have loved ones and family members, and not time for seeking out "best friends", as I am an adult. Nah, I honestly just think people didn't understand what the OP meant when he said "REAL friend". Or they're delluding themselves. | ||
Twisted
Netherlands13554 Posts
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Gandalf
Pakistan1905 Posts
I cant believe 10+ has the most votes. | ||
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FireBatLover
United States203 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:23 EvilTeletubby wrote: Everyone who said 10+ is a liar, and probably just in school/college. Trust me, you don't have 10 REAL friends. Why are you calling me a liar? just because you never had the same experience as me? i had my "real" close friends since i was in highschool and i trust them with my life and they will trust me with their lives. Don't just blurt out stupid assumption that you don't have no idea about. | ||
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Flaccid
8835 Posts
Once it becomes an effort to stay in touch, and you don't see every single person you know every single day, it changes things. Some people, who you considered friends, simply aren't worth the effort. What I mean is this - my entire graduating class at highschool was pretty tight. It was ~300 people and you'd party with different people 5 nights a week, all of whome were friends. At this point in my life I thought of about 50 of these people as my 'close' friends. Enter University - again, a tight class where everyone drank together and hung out together every night. I became close friends with about 20 of these guys, and stopped talking to about 30 of the 50 people from highschool. I continued to meet new people but would think "gee, this seems like a good guy. I bet we could be good friends if I actually wanted another fucking friend." Priorities change. In highschool, you want lots of friends. You want lots to do and you want to be a part of as many social groups as you can get your fingers in. Everything is a popularity contest and you need lots of friends to feel adequate. Nowadays, all I care about is have a few good friends to drinks beers with and watch the hockey game. I know who my real friends are - they are the ones who I could not talk to for 6 months and it didn't matter. I didn't need to keep in touch with them because our friendships didn't require constant attention and maintenance to keep running. I could only see them twice a year while I was away at school but that was fine - no catching up was necessary. The friendship simply resumed as it always had. So, now that I'm done rambling, I can say that if I were to have a party there would be about 40-50 people I'd make sure to call. About 20 of those I would really hope to show up above the others. About 5 of those would be there already drinking all of my beer the day before. They are my real friends. | ||
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
To throw myself into this, I'd say I have around 30 people or so I'd consider good friends, but only 4-5 non-family people who I feel I could trust with anything. | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
once you graduate and are working or move to different locations and it takes lots of effort to hang out (rather than just show up to school or walk down the hall) then you really see who you're friends with. its super easy to be "close friends" with someone when they are conveniently near. most people who are in HS or college who are reading this no doubt are thinking "whatever, these guys/girls i will stick with forever, they will always be there" but trust me, you are wrong. you will always feel the sense of nostalgia, but you'll see them less and less and become more distant and everyone will get new friends who are more convenient to hang out with. you will always be their friend, but you will never have the closeness you once did--sucks but it just happens that way. Firebatlover, that's what ETT means, its not a personal attack, please don't throw a hissy fit. You will realize eventually that its literally impossible once you're out of college to maintain 10+ true friendships by the definition of the thread creator. You simply are in different locations and don't have the time you did during school. | ||
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
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Flaccid
8835 Posts
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
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Binky1842
United States2599 Posts
1 for me. I have a hard time trusting people 100% | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:54 Chill wrote: I'm not in school. Thanks for your sweeping assumptions though. its funny that you are having such an attitude about this. maybe you are just this amazing person who everyone is just best friends with, or maybe you just have a weaker definition of "close friend" than everyone else. | ||
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:50 Chill wrote: By your definition, there are about 10 from university and 6-7 from home. I don't know why this is so hard for you to believe. It's not 'hard to believe', but trust me, you're just in school. There is the obvious convenience factor, and that'll change once you're out. I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just being honest. Try telling me a year+ out of school that you still have 16-17 REAL friends you can trust with ANYTHING. Edit - I was working on this post intermittently at work, so I didn't see you claiming you're not at school. I strongly suspect you're either just fresh out of school, or you're claiming you're friendships are stronger than they really are(or you're lying and are still in school). I'm not trying to be cynical or difficult, but it's just what I've seen, from my own experiences and from others. | ||
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
have a lot of friends from university and some from home. Those can't all be good friends By your definition there are around 15 good friends. That's because your in school. I'm not in school. Thanks for your sweeping assumptions though. You have an attitude. You're either sarcastically amazing, or have an inferior definition of friend. Yea you're right, I guess I have an attitude now because you make it sound like it's actually not possible to have 10+ close friends. I say it is. If you've lived in two different places or more, it's not difficult ot have 6 close friends at each place and keep them after you move. You don't have to be "this amazing person who every is just best friends with." | ||
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HeMaN
275 Posts
and it's true what people pointed out, i've met some really close friends during school, like the kind of friends I did trust to 100% and we did all kind of shit and got a long history together, but when people grow older, mature, graduate, move, find new social circles etc. you meet them less and less untill they just fade away from your life. some time ago I caught up with this old friend of mine who I haven't really seen after we graduated, i've hung with him for over 10 years, we always planned how we would do all kinds of crazy shit after we graduated, like backpack traveling the world and shit. anyway I met him and found out he had a wife and kid, he had really matured. I couldn't believe this was the same crazy dude from high school who always wanted to make bongs out of everything. we were in completly different periods of life it felt awkward taling to him | ||
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
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Vo-
United States435 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
as i said, you just have a weaker definition of the term than most... id expect your "close friends" to be people who are your friends for life | ||
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ImRaveTastic
Canada25 Posts
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Sfydjklm
United States9218 Posts
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Return
Ivory Coast856 Posts
Seriously just chill. I'd say i have 4 that i would consider REAL CLOSE FRIENDS. | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:33 Return wrote: ETT and Hot_Bid can you people stop be so narrowminded. Chill has said he is no longer in school and u people still use that as your one and only argument. Even tho he has said its false. Seriously just chill. I'd say i have 4 that i would consider REAL CLOSE FRIENDS. if you read what i wrote i said he probably just has a weaker definition of "close friend" than everyone else here and is a little too optimistic about his chances of keeping his friends at the places he's moved away from thats two more reasons i've stated than my "one and only argument" of him being at school plus he's likely not more than 1 year removed from school, so it still kinda applies | ||
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vGl-CoW
Belgium8305 Posts
i agree with ETT's definition but you guys need to lay back and just accept that someone has a bunch of really good close friends | ||
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
My father is 45. His best friends live hours away and they went to highschool together. He sees them maybe once or twice a year. His best friend lives in Florida, and he sees him twice a year. Come to think of it, my father has few people he would call good friends living in the same city as him, which I don't see a problem. Look, it's not complicated: I lived in Toronto while going to school in Kingston. My high school friends still live in Toronto; I talk to them a lot and we hang out all the time when I'm back in Toronto. We have a forum we all keep in touch with; I read and post on it 2-10 times a week. (5 people) Many of my Kingston schoolmates lived in Toronto. When I go home we hang out also. I lived with them for four years, so I guess I think that doesn't get broken now that we don't live near each other. I keep in touch with these people through email and MSN. Whenever we get together it's like we haven't been apart. (3 people) I now live in Calgary. Many of my schoolmates are either from Calgary or have moved to Calgary. I talk to them often and we hang out 2 times a week. (7 people). Total: >10; I'm done with this thread. | ||
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Sfydjklm
United States9218 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:37 vGl-CoW wrote: wow this thread sure went down the shitter i agree with ETT's definition but you guys need to lay back and just accept that someone has a bunch of really good close friends What do you know, youre a girl! | ||
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zizou21
United States3683 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:38 Chill wrote: The question wasn't "How many lifelong friends do you have?" If someone is a friend now, but we have to move apart, maybe in 5 - 10 years I won't consider him a good friend anymore. But they don't live in random locations, they live in my old city, which I go home to see my family, and thus my friends at regular intevals. i see people that are my close friends now as people that i will never ever think to not consider them my close friends for something like location. it's simply a different interpretation of the definition. sure ok i have 30+ close friends going by chill's guidelines, i've lived in like 3-4 different cities, not to mention china. | ||
CTStalker
Canada9720 Posts
i would number my close friends at less than 5, but maybe chill is an open and forthcoming dude who everyone can relate to. who knows? it almost seems resentful the way you're picking at him for it. | ||
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HeadBangaa
United States6512 Posts
I have some friends I've known for like 1.5 years who are very cool, but we have yet to stand the test of time. I'll count them, so that makes: 4. | ||
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TS-Rupbar
Sweden1089 Posts
Right now, the people I spend the most time with are the guys in my class. They're not REALLY close to me, but we see each other a lot - both in and outside of school. However, I just recently got in their group, because I was in a different class than them before we all moved to a new school last year. Through them, I've got to meet their friends and now I have lots of people I call my friends. I don't know why I never had a REALLY close friend, but I guess it's a combination of me spending time older guys before and we eventually saw each other less plus the fact that my class in my last school sucked and almost everyone was an idiot. If I ever need to talk to someone about love problems or something, I find it easier to talk to a girl I know or just someone in my clan whom I've known for three years or more. They probably know more about my love problems than anyone else  This works out for me and I don't feel like I need to have a "REALLY CLOSE" friend right now. I wouldn't mind having one, though  | ||
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doedrikthe2nd
Sweden981 Posts
Kinda sad that you can only fully trust less than 1/10 of the people you know. | ||
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CTStalker
Canada9720 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:42 CTStalker wrote: i think it's unreasonable that just because you guys have found it difficult to maintain contact with your college friends that so too must chill. no two people are alike, just as no relationship between any two people is alike. i would number my close friends at less than 5, but maybe chill is an open and forthcoming dude who everyone can relate to. who knows? it almost seems resentful the way you're picking at him for it. im not really doubting his relationships with his friends or resentful (lol?) at him for having lots of friends. likely he is not far removed from college, it will only get harder from now on to keep contact. not many people in this forum have experience with that, just commenting on it. | ||
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Leath
Canada1724 Posts
If not, 4. Hope I didnt forget any lol | ||
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SaRangHaE
United States182 Posts
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Chill
Calgary25980 Posts
How does your definition of what you will do after you move from your friend change at all from what I am doing with my friends? I've moved away, we're still friends. If, 50 years from now we meet up, we'll still be friends. Probably not good friends because we won't have talked in 50 years; but in your definition somehow you will still be good friends with this person having been away from them for 50 years. Don't get it... k Bye. | ||
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1tym
Korea (South)2425 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:48 Chill wrote: Your definition was people I could tell anything to. People I could ask anything to. How does your definition of what you will do after you move from your friend change at all from what I am doing with my friends? I've moved away, we're still friends. If, 50 years from now we meet up, we'll still be friends. Probably not good friends because we won't have talked in 50 years; but in your definition somehow you will still be friends with this person having been away from them for 50 years. Don't get it... k Bye. yes... i just attributed the difference in opinion to the different interpretation of what a the thread creator meant by "real friend." not really disagreeing with you. also, i think that discussion is good and while it might seem like some statements are attacking or whatever, nobody is really insulting anyone. the whole "ok im done bye!" and then post again, then again say "ok not posting anymore." its kind of a childish way to get in the last word and a not-so-subtle attempt to annoy the other posters who you are responding to. | ||
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doedrikthe2nd
Sweden981 Posts
On October 05 2006 09:45 CTStalker wrote: it's not sad. trust loses meaning if you give it away too freely. people are adverse to hardwork, and trust is something that can only thus be attained I think so. I have people that I've known since I could barely walk that I wouldn't share my deepest secrets to. I'd like to think anyone can trust me though. | ||
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DarkYoDA
United States1347 Posts
Anyway just because someone can't commit to the friendship the way you will or perhaps not even you are willing, doesn't make the a real friend or not imo. You can't be a "real" friend to everyone and it's the same the other way.. | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
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pubbanana
United States3063 Posts
T_T I guess it's mostly my fault, though ... | ||
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WhatisProtoss
Korea (South)2325 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:24 Chill wrote: [removed quote within quote] What? I consider nearly everyone I met on my floor in university a close friend, plus the 6 - 7 close friends from back home. Hehe, popular boy!!  PYeah, I have plenty of friends (hang out friends)... but true friends, probably 1-2. | ||
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1tym
Korea (South)2425 Posts
But do ask yourself this question. Our of the 10+ real friends you think you have, how many of them would you put in a hotel room with your girlfriend and let them spend the night with each other and the next day you trust with out a slight doubt that nothing happend between them 100%? | ||
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tae
United States101 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:19 Hot_Bid wrote: [removed quote within quote] its near the wrist-cutting knives and black eye shadow | ||
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aseq
Netherlands3977 Posts
Friends really narrow down when you finish education, most highschool/college friends just are friends because they are close to you and are able to have a good time together. Are you going to keep in touch when you grow up, even if it's only once a year? I don't think anyone will keep in touch with 50 people. But i don't think it's impossible to have 15 real good friends, but this takes a lot of social time to get to know each other. I personally have 3, maybe 4. | ||
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DeathBlow
Romania117 Posts
On October 05 2006 10:07 1tym wrote: You really cannot judge how many real friends other people have.. But do ask yourself this question. Our of the 10+ real friends you think you have, how many of them would you put in a hotel room with your girlfriend and let them spend the night with each other and the next day you trust with out a slight doubt that nothing happend between them 100%? 3 friends. They are shy . | ||
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Flaccid
8835 Posts
My 'real' friends are the people that will always be a significant part of my life until the day I die. It's not an assumption, or a hope, it's KNOWING that they will always be extremely important to me. They are a big enough part of my life that my family will knowingly pick them above all others to be pallbearers at my funeral should something bad happen, and I will pick them above all others (without any second thought) to stand with me at my wedding. Non-family, of course. | ||
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DevAzTaYtA
Oman2005 Posts
On October 05 2006 08:23 EvilTeletubby wrote: Everyone who said 10+ is a liar, and probably just in school/college. Trust me, you don't have 10 REAL friends. Don't forget that in different cultures it can be more/less difficult to make ''real friends'' (not to mention different personalities etc.). I have found making ''real friends'' in the US to be incredibly hard compared to the other places that I have lived. IMO it was a very narrow-minded statement that you made, which obviously came about from YOUR personal experiences. You shouldn't speak for the rest of us ;p 5-6. | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
A good portion of them are from primary school others from early highschool and so forth, I have talked and been with these guys for a long, long time. It wasn't always this way, I started off with one good friend when I was 10, who I met through an older man who worked as a professor in my home town, we were both young...but myself and him met so many new friends...we really spread our social wings as we went on our journey through life. I think it's been this way since I left home at a VERY early age (10) and had to move around a lot. It's ok though...I wanted to. Soon I met two more people who I now consider the greatest friends I'll ever have. We travelled together, learning and meeting new people all the time. My array of friends began to spread as I became more confident and stronger person in life, life has many battles in it, as I'm sure a lot of you know...but I've had so many battles in my life I don't know how to act properly sometimes. It also seems that every new person I'd meet would want to fight...it was the longest time before I became strong enough that people respected me for who I am...and they know that I have the backing of all my friends for support and to keep me in the fight. My name is Ash Ketchum and I'm a Pokémon master. | ||
Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
I have just a handful of real friends. Yeah... | ||
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HeadBangaa
United States6512 Posts
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dream-_-
United States1857 Posts
Thats the kind of friend he is talking about, not the kind of friend you call every now and then to go hang out or whatever. I could use my bnet friends list if that was the case -_- | ||
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VdP]DreaM
720 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
On October 05 2006 10:33 DevAzTaYtA wrote: [removed quote within quote] Don't forget that in different cultures it can be more/less difficult to make ''real friends'' (not to mention different personalities etc.). I have found making ''real friends'' in the US to be incredibly hard compared to the other places that I have lived. IMO it was a very narrow-minded statement that you made, which obviously came about from YOUR personal experiences. You shouldn't speak for the rest of us ;p 5-6. Fair enough, I'll admit that I hadn't really considered that. What cultures would you say is more prone to creating true friends? Are we talking more along the lines of a humbled culture, or maybe small, isolated cultures where everybody tends to know everybody? I can't really see in the "busy" westernized mind-set how it's realistically possible to have that many close friends. | ||
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HungerForMore
Afghanistan420 Posts
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Mora
Canada5235 Posts
Admittedly, i have a few close friends that i can't imagine anything being different in 50 years. But in 50 years alot can happen. They can go insane. They can start believing in war. They can become a cocaine addict. They can become a murderer. Most of us would like to believe that we know our 'real' friends better than this - that we know this wouldn't happen. But being that you will not have been around these people for said 50 years, many a life-shattering event can happen, and things will have inevitably changed. I guess i have about 5 friends that i would consider 'real' by OP's definition. 5 people who i would stand by, help through, and love despite being a murderer/insane/cocaine addict/child molester. However, these people would not not be involved in my life for 50 years. If i didn't talk to one of these 5 people for 50 years and THEN they had these problems, i'd probably be sad, but not spend my time with them over spending time with my kids/grandchildren/other close friends. You guys really trivialized what Chill has experienced. You attempt to explain and make less of his experiences when the truth is you do not understand his experiences - you only understand your own and try to relate them. I personally doubt anyone on this forum has experienced 'true' love. But then again, i would never have the audacity to call someone mistaken if they claimed they have indeed experienced true love. | ||
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RamenStyle
United States1929 Posts
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Wasabi
United States3085 Posts
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DooMeR
United States1519 Posts
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dronebabo
10866 Posts
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Noun
United States1026 Posts
On October 05 2006 11:39 dronebabo wrote: i have 5 girlfriends and 3 feet of pure tender cock I see you got your old name back. But what happened to dronebabo jr., the new guy  To stay on the topic: I have only one true friend. Been a friend ever since I came to the U.S. | ||
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Night[Mare
Mexico4793 Posts
I'm not really sure of who many REAL friends i have, but i have a handful of full-trusting friends who im sure wont let me down. 3 of them, i met them on primary school. Even tho there was a period where we barely seen each other, we still invite ourselves to go party, go drink a beer etc. The contact between us is not forced even tho our lives have gone different ways. Another of my friends i've met was at highschool, formerly he and i disliked eachother, but with time we had mutual interest and eventually become really good friends, i think he is the guy i trust must things in my life maybe. One of my friends i met her while she was girlfriend of one of my friends, she seemed pretty cool and we started talking, we could be talking for many time. I saw her as a friend and only that obviously because of my friend :p. But she's still the kind of friend you could text message or phone at 3 am to talk about anything. Right now, im in college and i have "pontential" real friends, but i have experienced that when you dont have the same interests (like going to same school) contact begins to lose and eventually they fade out. Yeah im still a bit nostalgic about my Highschool generation :p | ||
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skyglow1
New Zealand3962 Posts
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QuietIdiot
7004 Posts
And they're lifelong friends from when I was in kindergarden, so yeah... | ||
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ToT)MidiaN(
England2183 Posts
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IIICodeIIIIIII
China1101 Posts
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tKd_
United States2916 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
On October 05 2006 12:43 IIICodeIIIIIII wrote: where's the option for ZERO Hot_Bid already said where. | ||
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lil.sis
China4650 Posts
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Romance_us
Seychelles1806 Posts
On October 05 2006 11:20 Teroru wrote: I personally doubt anyone on this forum has experienced 'true' love. But then again, i would never have the audacity to call someone mistaken if they claimed they have indeed experienced true love. Rethink your doubts ! LOL jk, Stimey is the closest thing to love for me. | ||
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Ghin
United States2391 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
![[image loading]](http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/spratt/loser.jpg) | ||
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merz
Sweden2760 Posts
It all comes down to how "open" you are about personal feelings I guess, and I'm pretty closed hence the small amount of "close" friends ;o Friends are mostly about drinking, watching a movie, someone to hang out and talk random bullshit with, play games with (starcrat? ;O), do sports with... etc.. But when it comes down to the real deal, you are in need of your real friends. | ||
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
Knew 3 of them since i was 6 years old, the 4th one i met her just 5-6 years ago. | ||
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Flaccid
8835 Posts
On October 05 2006 11:20 Teroru wrote: You guys really trivialized what Chill has experienced. You attempt to explain and make less of his experiences when the truth is you do not understand his experiences - you only understand your own and try to relate them. It's just a question of perspective. You know how people with good families know that they will always be close with their parents/siblings. You don't need to see them every week, but they talk, visit, and know that they represent something very important in each others lives. At the same time, they are the people you treat the worst at times. You yell at them, you lie to them, you fight with them - all because you are comfortable enough in the notion that what you have isn't going to be broken and you are free to be yourself. I know that if I didn't speak to my folks in the next 20 years and called up one day asking for help, they'd give it to me. To a lot of us, this is how strict we are in defining our true and real friends. They are rare, important, and don't deserve to be lumped in with 'good aquainances'. But the thing about good family is that you know its secure because you really know each other. Sure, my brother can be a real cunt sometimes and can be meaner to me than anyone else I know - but I also know him better than that. I've known him my whole life. I know what kind of person he is. This is how it is with true friends too. And that's the whole point. IT TAKES TIME. You can't know someone that well in the matter of a few years. My 'real' friends I speak of have all been a part of my life for over 10 years, some over 20 years. And the friendships have seen the worst of times, and they've seen the best of times. I love those guys, but we've hated each other as well. This is why people are sceptical about having 10+ 'real' friends. There simply isn't enough time in one's life to experience everything necessary to gain those types of relationships with soooo many people. Some of us are so strict on the criteria that we would see it as humanly impossible. Like Hot_Bid said, it all just depends on one's own personal definition. On October 05 2006 11:20 Teroru wrote: anyone who thinks that 50 years of not talking to someone won't change your relationship with them is a fool. Admittedly, i have a few close friends that i can't imagine anything being different in 50 years. But in 50 years alot can happen. They can go insane. They can start believing in war. They can become a cocaine addict. They can become a murderer. This relates to what I said above. I know my good friends like I know my family. A lot can happen, a lot *has* happened, and probably will happen, but it won't change who they are to me and it won't make me think differently of them. I know them too well for them to become strangers to me, no matter how much they change. I don't know how else to explain it =[. | ||
Manifesto7
Osaka27147 Posts
In high school I would have said a couple more, as there was a group of us who were very close, but in the ten years folowing, we have all gone our seperate ways and are definately not close anymore. I have one friend from my childhood with whom I will be friends with for my lifetime. The second person is a friend and somewhat of a mentor that I met in university. Again, age and distance doesn't matter, and he will be a lifelong friend. Lastly, after I came to Japan, I started working with an American who has been here for years. Although pickings for friends around here is slim, he and are I so much alike it is scary. He also fills somewhat of a mentor role, but I forsee us working and enjoying ourselves deep into the future. It is kind of interesting that I have one really significant friend from each stage of my life thus far. Of course, my fourth and best friend would be my wife. If you cant say that about your partner, dont get married. | ||
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HOLLAND
United States48 Posts
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Darki[Per]
Peru689 Posts
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IIICodeIIIIIII
China1101 Posts
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SCNewb
Canada2210 Posts
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
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Mora
Canada5235 Posts
I have 5 'real' friends: 1) My mom. I know most people would not include family in this, but i have to. I tell my mom everything. I treat her not only as a mother, but as a friend too. I don't hold myself back. I am the same person with her as i am with other people. I talk about sex. I tell her about what drugs i do, and why i like them. I like drinking with her. I like spending time with her. We have a lot in common other than being family, and it shows in our relationship. 2) Lauren. She was born on the same day as me (she always rubs in that she's older than me because she was born 10 hours earlier. Stupid bitch). Since the age of 13 or so we only see each other 1-2 times a year (up until recently), but we spent so much time together as children, and we truly care so much about each other, that nothing seems to have changed between us in the past 20 years. 3) Chris. My best friend of all friends. I've spent more time with him in the past 8 years of my life than any other individual. What i share with other friends i do not need to share with him. Half the time we communicate with just looks. We will burst out laughing after 10 minutes of silence because we knew exactly what the other has thought. He is the person i am closest to in this world (with the exception maybe being my mom). 4) Donald. My first love and always one of my best friends. The person i've spent the most time with in the past 5 years after Chris. We share many things in common. We will often visit each other just to ignore each other while we do whatever the fuck we want. We like just knowing the other person is close by. We've been through our share of shit, and breaking up brought us closer instead of farther apart, and re-dating is never possible. 5) Spencer. My spiritual/philosophical soulmate. I don't have the pleasure of talking with others as i do with him, simply because no one is interested in the things we are. We love philosophy. We love discussing the meaning of life. We love trying to understand what experience is, and what we get from it all. We have nearly identical logic - to the point where we often finish each others sentences - but at the end of all that, we usually have *complete* opposite conclusions. It's crazy crazy. Those are my 5 best friends. Now, someone call tell me that i've not had the time to know 5 people in this world, but my bet is i know these 5 just as well as anyone else knows their 1. If it's possible to have 1, it's possible to have 5. Cause all of these people mean everything to me. While i can't imagine knowing even 1 more person, or have the time to know my other close friends more than i do, i'm sure it's possible just as others seem to think that it's not possible to have 5. Who the fuck is anyone else to know how much i know/cherish the relationships i have? | ||
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Unforgiven_ve
Venezuela1232 Posts
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SuperJongMan
Jamaica11586 Posts
On October 05 2006 16:18 ManaBlue wrote: Anyone who thinks they have more than 3 probably has none. Nonsense. I have a deep network that would definately help me out. To varying degrees, at least. If you wanted something insanely deep like brotherhood... about 5 EZ. I have a long and colorful ATL history ~_~ | ||
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Last.Midnight
Australia903 Posts
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Last.Midnight
Australia903 Posts
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funkie
Venezuela9374 Posts
my best "friends" betrayed me last year, So I don't trust them anymore ;p. | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
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SChasu
United States1505 Posts
 edit: not counting family of course | ||
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Mora
Canada5235 Posts
On October 05 2006 21:09 travis wrote: I did not answer this poll because I feel that ur question is more about the people theirselves than my relationship with them. you are wiser than i am. ;( | ||
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HungerForMore
Afghanistan420 Posts
On October 05 2006 11:28 RamenStyle wrote: My right hand(left hand when my right hand sores) If you're right and left hand are you're best friends, you need a gf | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 05 2006 20:07 Unforgiven_ve wrote: and whata about 0? :0 I already shouted for that option!!! Come on I HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS and I believe that many people haven't as well. They just can't admit it to themselves(or they just can't recognise). | ||
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pooper-scooper
United States3108 Posts
Ben, Owen, Piya, and Nina I love you guys! I also have my family, but I don't think you can count those. I have several good friends, that have come with me through several years of shit, that I know I can count on at least 75%, but we aren't at 100% and don't need to be. You have to appreciate good friends for what they are, but not delude yourself about how much you can count on them. I think that the one guy that said "Everyone I have met on my hall are real friends" is deluding himself. $10 says that if you were having a tough time, say just broke up with your GF at a party, and there was someone there that he/she wanted to fuck, they'd make no more than a showing of comforting you then scirt off to the room upstairs. | ||
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j0ehoe
United States2705 Posts
ive got 8 people who id trust with just about anything. very lucky to have that. 4 of them ive known since kindergarden, 2 ive known since i was about 13 and the other three ive met in the past four years. weve all got open door policies at our places and we are always with each other and got each others back for everything. shit like that takes years. most of the people ive met in college i dont really talk to now. | ||
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BlueRoyaL
United States2493 Posts
what is the definition of real friend? if it's just basically same thing as a close friend, i have i guess many close friends maybe like 7-8 ish | ||
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j0ehoe
United States2705 Posts
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gLyo
United States2410 Posts
You guys defenition of true friends seems extremely loose. Somebody who doesn't steal your shit and wont fuck your girlfriend? Sorry pal, but that's basically the minimum level of friendship. A True friend is somebody who you can talk to about anything, who will listen to you about anything, who will help you if things get shitty, and who genuinley cares about you and what happens to you in the future. | ||
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j0ehoe
United States2705 Posts
On October 06 2006 07:57 gLyo wrote: I have four or five really good friends that I think I could trust with just about anything. Still in school, though, but I expect I will definitley make an effort to continue talking with these people. You guys defenition of true friends seems extremely loose. Somebody who doesn't steal your shit and wont fuck your girlfriend? Sorry pal, but that's basically the minimum level of friendship. A True friend is somebody who you can talk to about anything, who will listen to you about anything, who will help you if things get shitty, and who genuinley cares about you and what happens to you in the future. clearly you didnt fully read the above post, cuz i said everything you just stated. sure, not hitting up your girl seems pretty basic, but im sure everyone has some 'friend' that shortly after you broke up with your girl, would be creepin around her a lot more. | ||
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artofmagic
United States1951 Posts
betray is very touchy thing.. i mean he may leave you behind in order to survive and etc.. but i know one person who willing to protect me even endangering his own. | ||
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