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On February 18 2013 06:33 Kukaracha wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 04:48 SamsungStar wrote:
/facepalm. Basically, you're agreeing that women still operate off of the instinctive notion of finding the best quality sperm at any given moment, and intellectual concepts like loyalty, love, dedication, perseverance etc are completely ignored. Marriage vows used to be considered sacred and there were serious social repercussions for ALL parties involved when divorcing. Nowadays, it is a joke, and an invitation for women to take half your shit and write a lawyer's paycheck for the year in the process. So do men. It all comes down to very trivial things in the end, but such is life. If you're ugly, then you're just unlucky, and that's the end of it. Meanwhile, the world carries on. Marriage was considered sacred a couple of decades ago, it's true. It wasn't really about love or attraction, it was about stability through strong social pressure. If you like this old-fashioned model, than you could move to another country where it's possible to marry your kids by the age of ten and tie their destiny to an unknown partner. The path of freedom is what we chose today, but it may not suit your desires. I'll also disregard that nonsense about women stealing, I hope you were just joking. If not, then it's a striking proof that you're simply a bitter, resentful man. As for myself, I have found sincere love and I feel only respect towards both men and women. Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 04:49 Warlock40 wrote:The first step towards less foreveraloneness is to realize that men and women aren't that different from each other. When you're making statements as blunt as saying "men are like dogs, women are like cats", you're simply generalizing the very few relationships you've witnessed. But there are striking differences between male and female mating behavior, in humans just as in many other species. This is scientific fact that goes beyond just societal norms and constraints. But what are these striking differences? It is hard to tell, and if you take the time to dig through research you'll find that some scientists think that most of these differences are cultural, as underlined by anthropological studies. The most obvious ones, such as pregnancy, constitute only a small portion of what is usually considered "feminine" or "masculine". And it surely is very different than saying that "men are dogs, and women are cats". Just read this last page, so much pseudo-science thrown randomly here and there.
I'm not bitter. I love guys like Kukaracha. They remind me of a classroom full of 8th graders who all believe they're going to achieve their dreams.
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My life has only been success so far, and my girlfriend is one of them. Sorry for being a strong, ambitious person. ; )
Though I'm only Diamond in SC2, I'll give you that...
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On February 18 2013 06:44 Kukaracha wrote:
My life has only been success so far, and my girlfriend is one of them. Sorry for being a strong, ambitious person. ; )
Though I'm only Diamond in SC2, I'll give you that...
You're also a clown trying to engage in an e-peen contest. Get lost if you can't form a coherent argument.
Also, what does this paragraph actually mean?
On February 18 2013 06:39 Kukaracha wrote:
You also make it sound more acceptable to be a coward and "pin some girl on the side". Isn't it odd to promote stoicism only to admit that you prefer the easy way out? As for myself, I believe that it is better to be honest not only to your partner, but also to your children. Hey, I grew up without a dad and I'm fine. A divorce is fine. Life is hard, deal with it!
But hey, if your definition of "loyalty" is "pinning some girl on the side"...
In English.
User was warned for this post
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On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that.
You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life.
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On February 18 2013 05:49 sparkk51 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 03:38 lannisport wrote:
This is the most depressing thread on TL. I think that men are like dogs-- they're kind of stupid sometimes, very predictable but fiercely loyal. You know what to expect from them and you understand why they go about humping this or that because they do it for obvious clear cut reasons. Girls on the other hand are more like cats-- At times aloof, not very loyal and very unpredictable. It extends its belly because it wants to be rubbed but once you do it bites you. When you're alone with it, it shows great affection purring contently and kneading its head against your chest but as soon as somebody else walks in its best friends with him. And when you want to play with it it runs away but when you're fucking busy it shows up out of nowhere and starts rubbing against your legs and purring.
Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I truly believe that most girls (especially of the 25 and under variety) are like cats. The only real solution that I've found is trying to build a great life with girls being only a tiny part of the equation. Girls come and go and maybe a real special one will pop up two or three times in a lifetime. What I'm trying to say is, I think I want a dog.
Female cats must be complete bitches
But... that's not possible because a female dog is a...
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I don't have an e-peen. In fact, my online life is very plain and boring! I'm e-peeneeless.
As for that paragraph, hm...
"Are you saying that it is more acceptable to secretly indulge in adultery? I do believe that it is contradictory with the idea that one should not divorce, since hidden adultery is the "easy way", the path of weak-willed cowards, while a lifetime of restraint is more on the side of stoicism.
I personnally believe that it is better to be honest with you wife and kids, as divorces don't break people, bad divorces do (just like not having a father didn't break me).
I also question your definition of loyalty, if you consider that a unfaithful man can still be considered a loyal person."
I hope it makes sense now. : )
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On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life.
Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough.
Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes.
When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all.
That's probably what your ex is feeling right now.
All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it.
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I don't know if this is the right place to post this or what but after reading some of the responses...
When I was younger I was much too easily swayed by women (hard not to be strongly effected by someone you want and like THAT much). When I really liked a chick I would bend over backwards for her and be a complete doormat. When she hurt me id decide all women were bitches and be arrogant and treat them like crap. Wasn't til I got older that I realized that was no way to live life. I dunno what's right for anyone else but for me, I just have a set of principles and stick to them regardless of who it is I'm dealing with. I've learned this is the only way for me to keep sane. I try not to overly give a fuck what women, or basically anyone else, wants or likes, I just care that I live up to my own standards. Tying your self worth or sense of self to what someone else wants is just a formula for stress/failure.
I guess what im saying is... Don't sacrifice your principles for women, or anyone for that matter. Listen to your guts and your conscience and fuck what some women thinks of you.
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On February 18 2013 07:02 Kukaracha wrote:
I don't have an e-peen. In fact, my online life is very plain and boring! I'm e-peeneeless.
As for that paragraph, hm...
"Are you saying that it is more acceptable to secretly indulge in adultery? I do believe that it is contradictory with the idea that one should not divorce, since hidden adultery is the "easy way", the path of weak-willed cowards, while a lifetime of restraint is more on the side of stoicism.
I personnally believe that it is better to be honest with you wife and kids, as divorces don't break people, bad divorces do (just like not having a father didn't break me).
I also question your definition of loyalty, if you consider that a unfaithful man can still be considered a loyal person."
I hope it makes sense now. : )
Pining does not mean adultery. It means thinking of someone, longing for them, and NOT consummating your feelings, as in NOT cheating on your wife and just giving up your feelings for another person.
In general, your entire rebuttal was off-topic because you didn't understand what I was saying. I've already rebutted your 2nd point, so I might as well rebut your other two now.
1st point: You can't form an opinion until you've been in that situation.
False: It is quite easy for humans to form opinions without being placed in the exact same situation. For instance, I am not a father. I have never raised a child. But I do know leaving your kid in a car for 4 hours while you go in a hotel room to have an affair is wrong.
By your logic, I would be unable to judge a man who did such a thing because I have never been a father. Do you see how idiotic this rationale is?
3rd point: Love and hope blah blah
Love is a subjective term. It means different things to everyone. Therefore, it is not something you can claim society is built on, seeing as its an abstract term. Also, it's just complete horse shit. Humans banded together to form civilizations for the purposes of resource sharing, economies of scale, mutual protection, and division of labor. They did not do so for the sake of singing Kumbayah and making kissy face.
Hope suffers due to the same fundamental issues as love. Gambling is an activity based on hope. Affairs are based on hope. Armed robberies are based on hope. Mass genocide of the Jews was based on hope. EVERYTHING is based on hope, because hope in the way you're using it is merely expectation or motivation based on future benefit. In essence, a completely nonsensical form of valuation.
4th point: Cake Icing
Pragmatism does not preclude the notion of a soul. Pragmatism is basing decisions on rational, definable, quantifiable benefits to a reasonable degree. And yes, your conscience, your mental health, your sense of moral rectitude, those are tangible, quantifiable benefits. Absolutely ludicrous you would try to claim pragmatism excludes any consideration for these aspects of health and well-being.
In summary, your argument was poorly conceived.
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On February 18 2013 07:08 Zahir wrote:
I don't know if this is the right place to post this or what but after reading some of the responses...
When I was younger I was much too easily swayed by women (hard not to be strongly effected by someone you want and like THAT much). When I really liked a chick I would bend over backwards for her and be a complete doormat. When she hurt me id decide all women were bitches and be arrogant and treat them like crap. Wasn't til I got older that I realized that was no way to live life. I dunno what's right for anyone else but for me, I just have a set of principles and stick to them regardless of who it is I'm dealing with. I've learned this is the only way for me to keep sane. I try not to overly give a fuck what women, or basically anyone else, wants or likes, I just care that I live up to my own standards. Tying your self worth or sense of self to what someone else wants is just a formula for stress/failure.
I guess what im saying is... Don't sacrifice your principles for women, or anyone for that matter. Listen to your guts and your conscience and fuck what some women thinks of you.
That's fantastic advice.
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My worst one was when I winded up my arms and SMASHED my keyboard. It felt extremely good. But I felt hell as stupid 2 minutes later...
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On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it.
I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such. He made her life a living hell (she's the emotional type and had a stressfull period that would determine whether she was going to get accepted by a medical school), I didn't take it nearly as badly.
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On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it.
You have some terrible luck meeting people if you think that kind of stuff is common and normal, lol.
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On February 18 2013 07:35 maybenexttime wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it. I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such.
Do you live at home with your family?
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On February 18 2013 07:38 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 07:35 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it. I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such. Do you live at home with your family?
I do, why?
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On February 18 2013 07:49 maybenexttime wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 07:38 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 07:35 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it. I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such. Do you live at home with your family? I do, why?
Coz if you had money and were living on your own, then the problem you just described would not have happened. I'm not sure how old you are, but at my age (27), it's pretty much mandatory for you to have your own place, or at least share it with other flat-mates. If you're still at home with your fam, chances of a proper relationship = 0. Girls want a guy with at least enough money to move out of the house.
The girl might not consciously think it's about money. She might think it's family complications, etc etc. But if you were a billionaire and had your own mansion, all of her doubts would disappear in an instant.
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On February 18 2013 04:48 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 04:21 Xiphos wrote:On February 18 2013 03:38 lannisport wrote:
This is the most depressing thread on TL. I think that men are like dogs-- they're kind of stupid sometimes, very predictable but fiercely loyal. You know what to expect from them and you understand why they go about humping this or that because they do it for obvious clear cut reasons. Girls on the other hand are more like cats-- At times aloof, not very loyal and very unpredictable. It extends its belly because it wants to be rubbed but once you do it bites you. When you're alone with it, it shows great affection purring contently and kneading its head against your chest but as soon as somebody else walks in its best friends with him. And when you want to play with it it runs away but when you're fucking busy it shows up out of nowhere and starts rubbing against your legs and purring.
Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I truly believe that most girls (especially of the 25 and under variety) are like cats. The only real solution that I've found is trying to build a great life with girls being only a tiny part of the equation. Girls come and go and maybe a real special one will pop up two or three times in a lifetime. What I'm trying to say is, I think I want a dog. Well you have to realize that it up to you to be that awesome dude that she was attracted to in the first place. My advice to you is that if you run of 'awesome' juice in you, the best decision would to be the first one to initiate the breakup so your feelings won't eventually get hurt by her. /facepalm. Basically, you're agreeing that women still operate off of the instinctive notion of finding the best quality sperm at any given moment, and intellectual concepts like loyalty, love, dedication, perseverance etc are completely ignored. Marriage vows used to be considered sacred and there were serious social repercussions for ALL parties involved when divorcing. Nowadays, it is a joke, and an invitation for women to take half your shit and write a lawyer's paycheck for the year in the process. Just look at what some of the people in this thread have said. Micronesia posted a story about a woman who fucking ran off and left her family of 30+ years in the lurch on a moment's notice. And some brilliant genius had the balls to say that sounded like a romantic story. Could you imagine if it was the father running off with some hot little 22 year old? Would you consider that a romantic story? I wonder what women would have said about a man like that. Oh wait, I already know what they would say. It's what they always say when a man does something like this. "Pig, animal, beast, pervert, asshole, jerk," etc. Yet, when women do it, none of these things are said. They're liberated, empowered, they should have a choice in who they want to be with, etc. Why? Because women do these things for subtler reasons? Because they "fell out of love" with their old partner? The "excitement" was gone? Have you ever heard a man say I left my wife because she wasn't "exciting" anymore? I left my kids because I had to follow my heart? Any man who did something like that would be crucified at the stake by society and the legal system. This is my problem with feminism. It has nothing to do with equality anymore, and everything to do with just outright favoritism. In 21st century America, in the Millenial generation, women have a ridiculous advantage. I, for one, am moving to another country where the culture isn't quite as poisonous towards men.
Marriage vows are as sacred as people think they are. You have a view of the past that is a bit too rosy. My late grandparents were married for over 50 years, but mainly due to social/religious pressure. My dad and his sisters agreed that, if they had been a couple this day and age, their marriage would not have last. It's no use being in a relationship if you get no more satisfaction and personal fullfilment out of it.
I've had a rough breakup recently. Granted, what I did was stupid, and I should have seen it coming, but still. I made the mistake of dating a married woman for a month. There's plenty of reasons why she was attracted to me but the main reason, in hindsight, was because I filled a lot of holes her husband no longer did. It's nothing more than that. Why did she cheat on her husband? Because he no longer gave her the emotional and physical support she needed. I did that. When push came to shove, however, she dumped me and went back to her husband. It hurt because we really envisioned and planned a whole future together, but in the end the idea of "sanctity of marriage" -she was rather religious- won over following her heart and being happy.
If you're conservative, you would probably applaud her for, in the end, sticking to her marriage (despite the fact that it's not a very fullfilling one). After all, it is a sacred thing. However, ask yourself: would you want to stay in a marriage or relationship that does not bring you the physical and emotional fullfilment you require? Would you stay in a relationship if you feel that you and your partner behave more like friends than like a couple? Would you stay in a relationship if you feel that your partner pretty much takes you for granted? Would you stay in a relationship if you see that all the effort you put into trying to make it better, make it clear to your significant other that there is something you're missing falls on deaf ears, time and time again?
If I were in such a relationship, I would break up because I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite who keeps things going just for the sake of having a relationship or, what often seems to be the case, routine. It's different of course when there are children involved. It may sound cold, but I would not care what the family thinks of me. I would just hope they'd understand, and that, if possible, we can remain on friendly terms.
Relationships, and even friendships, require a lot of giving. If you feel that the giving is one-directional, however, I don't see the point in maintaining a marriage or a relationship, or even friendship. I haven't had much luck in the dating-department, but I do have a lot of close friends, because I've always put a lot of effort into those friendships.
You gave the example of the woman leaving her family of thirty years in the lurch. I don't see why that would matter? When you marry someone, you marry to the other person. You don't marry that person's family, at least not in western Europe (which probably explains why divorce rates are as high as they are). Again, if two people are in a happy, healthy relationship, the idea of cheating will probably not even cross their minds. The "trick" is to notice when things are starting to go downhill, so you can fix it before the whole thing explodes. Chances are your family/friends will have already noticed that something is wrong, even when you think that everything's fine. Communication is key here.
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On February 18 2013 07:49 maybenexttime wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 07:38 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 07:35 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it. I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such. Do you live at home with your family? I do, why?
Maybe we are not getting the full story but maybe she left you cause you still live at home with your family? What direction are you currently heading? Does she view you as going nowhere? If she really left because of your brother then the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with.
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On February 18 2013 07:53 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 07:49 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 07:38 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 07:35 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 07:02 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 06:54 maybenexttime wrote:On February 18 2013 05:46 Djzapz wrote:
Mine, mine!
December 23rd 2012, I got dumped by my gf, with whom I was (technically) engaged. We had been together for over 7 years. I was never given the impression that things were as bad as they were for her, she never displayed it. The night before, we went out and had a good time and then some. And suddenly, Dec 23rd, she coldly announces to me that we're done. Empty chair at the xmas party, family hadn't heard about it so they were cracking jokes and I didn't have to heart to tell them what had happened.
At no point did I feel like things were going downhill in any relevant way, so when she announced it to me I was still pretty convinced that I was marrying this girl and that I was going to live my whole life with her, and that she'd have my kids. I had our honeymoon planned. Needless to say, I didn't see that coming.
She wants to be friends and I can't handle that. She calls me and says she misses me, which plants seeds of hope in my tiny brain, but I know that I shouldn't count on that. You're better off cutting all ties with her if she's giving you hope (either intentionally or not). Talking from experience. I was in a similar situation. We weren't together for that long, but were equally serious. I've spent almost three years longing her, hopelessly, helping her deal with various problems. She's often given me hope, only to say we can't be together. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. Most times, girls feel this way if they're unsure of your "career prospects." Those sort of things make it really difficult for them to sort out their "feelings." Or, sometimes, they'll call you and tell you that when their current man fucked up and made reservations for a restaurant she didn't like or got her a present on V-Day that wasn't in her acceptable price range. Sometimes, booking a trip to Bali and not flying first class is reason enough. Once, me and a gf broke up and she found some really rich guy to "take care" of her afterwards. But two weeks into that, she came crawling back for the sex. Later, I found out she was still seeing this rich guy. She was just carrying on with me for the sex coz I had the "perfect penis size" for her. Her apartment-mate at the time told me all about it, including my ex's reasoning, because she was pissed off that my ex-gf was late paying the rent that month and never washed the dishes. When I asked said ex-gf about it, she broke down crying and said she loved both of us and couldn't decide, blah blah. Her heart was so torn, etc. I told her me and my perfect penis were going to find a new home. One we didn't have to share with an old, rich one. But, sometimes, late at night, I still wake up with a raging boner and a vivid image in my mind of her riding me reverse cowboy with that sweet, sweet ass. Those are the times when I wonder if I was a fool, and sharing with old, rich weewees might not have been so bad after all. That's probably what your ex is feeling right now. All the same, it's a cold situation to be put in by your fiancee. Sorry to hear it. I honestly doubt that was the case. I'm pretty sure the main reason why she left me was because my older brother, who did his best to destroy our relationship. That was his revenge for my telling our mother about his problems with drugs (who then told our father, who in turn made a huge mess out of the situation for a couple of weeks only to get into denial and pretend nothing had happened...). He blamed my fiancee for this for some reason. He started to spread some horrible rumours about us, mostly her, in our neighbourhood and my family, caused huge arguments about her on a daily basis, and such. Do you live at home with your family? I do, why? Coz if you had money and were living on your own, then the problem you just described would not have happened. I'm not sure how old you are, but at my age (27), it's pretty much mandatory for you to have your own place, or at least share it with other flat-mates. If you're still at home with your fam, chances of a proper relationship = 0. Girls want a guy with at least enough money to move out of the house. The girl might not consciously think it's about money. She might think it's family complications, etc etc. But if you were a billionaire and had your own mansion, all of her doubts would disappear in an instant.
Was 20 at the time, first semester at the university. Over here, university is like a full-time job if you're taking it seriously. There's no time for a job, and I'm living in the city where my university is situated, so moving out was out of the question (unless I'd wanted to give up on higher education, but that would've been completely unreasonable) - my parents straight up told me they're not going to support me financially if I move out (why would they pay for my rent if I can live at home?).
I also think you are entirely wrong as regards the money issue. You're just bitter, no offence. I've moved on, but I still consider her a wonderful person. She's definitely not after money and she can take care of herself in that regard (actually a bit obsessed with being financially independent).
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On February 18 2013 04:48 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 04:21 Xiphos wrote:On February 18 2013 03:38 lannisport wrote:
This is the most depressing thread on TL. I think that men are like dogs-- they're kind of stupid sometimes, very predictable but fiercely loyal. You know what to expect from them and you understand why they go about humping this or that because they do it for obvious clear cut reasons. Girls on the other hand are more like cats-- At times aloof, not very loyal and very unpredictable. It extends its belly because it wants to be rubbed but once you do it bites you. When you're alone with it, it shows great affection purring contently and kneading its head against your chest but as soon as somebody else walks in its best friends with him. And when you want to play with it it runs away but when you're fucking busy it shows up out of nowhere and starts rubbing against your legs and purring.
Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I truly believe that most girls (especially of the 25 and under variety) are like cats. The only real solution that I've found is trying to build a great life with girls being only a tiny part of the equation. Girls come and go and maybe a real special one will pop up two or three times in a lifetime. What I'm trying to say is, I think I want a dog. Well you have to realize that it up to you to be that awesome dude that she was attracted to in the first place. My advice to you is that if you run of 'awesome' juice in you, the best decision would to be the first one to initiate the breakup so your feelings won't eventually get hurt by her. /facepalm. Basically, you're agreeing that women still operate off of the instinctive notion of finding the best quality sperm at any given moment, and intellectual concepts like loyalty, love, dedication, perseverance etc are completely ignored. Marriage vows used to be considered sacred and there were serious social repercussions for ALL parties involved when divorcing. Nowadays, it is a joke, and an invitation for women to take half your shit and write a lawyer's paycheck for the year in the process. Just look at what some of the people in this thread have said. Micronesia posted a story about a woman who fucking ran off and left her family of 30+ years in the lurch on a moment's notice. And some brilliant genius had the balls to say that sounded like a romantic story. Could you imagine if it was the father running off with some hot little 22 year old? Would you consider that a romantic story? I wonder what women would have said about a man like that. Oh wait, I already know what they would say. It's what they always say when a man does something like this. "Pig, animal, beast, pervert, asshole, jerk," etc. Yet, when women do it, none of these things are said. They're liberated, empowered, they should have a choice in who they want to be with, etc. Why? Because women do these things for subtler reasons? Because they "fell out of love" with their old partner? The "excitement" was gone? Have you ever heard a man say I left my wife because she wasn't "exciting" anymore? I left my kids because I had to follow my heart? Any man who did something like that would be crucified at the stake by society and the legal system. This is my problem with feminism. It has nothing to do with equality anymore, and everything to do with just outright favoritism. In 21st century America, in the Millenial generation, women have a ridiculous advantage. I, for one, am moving to another country where the culture isn't quite as poisonous towards men.
You completely missed the whole point of the post because there was absolute no mention of getting yourself married. Read again.
Once upon a time, I liked your mentality but right now you are just being plain bitter and unable to accept the truth that the moment you start losing your attractiveness is the moment she'll start looking for another man, simple as that. It is best to accept it and weigh your investments.
And of course that's how they think, it is called hypergamy, look that up.
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EPT
