Teamliquid, I would like to point your attention a presidential candidate quickly gaining momentum.
His name is Vermin Supreme and he is a fascist.
Despite unsuccessful campaigns in 1988 (mayor of Baltimore), 2000 (US President), 2004 (US President, Democrat), and 2008 (US President, Republican), Vermin Supreme has high hopes of snagging the Democratic nomination, snatching the heart of the Nation, and sweeping the election.
Though officially running as a Democrat, Supreme's platform transcends traditional partisan positions. Despite no official statement identifying his key issues, I believe the following are the policies Supreme is most passionate about:
-Proper Dental Hygiene (including a mandatory teethbrushing law) - A Government Funded Pony for All Citizens (including a Federal Pony Identification Program) - Zombie Apocalypse (including a zombie-powered turbines to reduce dependence on foreign energy)
Personally, I think the most compelling reason to vote for him is his sublime performance in recent debates. Check out the following video taken at the recent New Hampshire debate for lesser-known candidates in the Democratic Primary:
Ask yourself this: Would your life not be better with an extra pony in your life? Can America afford to sit idly while the threat of a zombie apocalypse looms over the horizon? Should it be a right for an individual not to maintain proper dental hygiene?
STRONG TEETH FOR STRONG AMERICA, Vermin Supreme for President
To read more about Vermin Supreme visit his website here.
How sustainable is a federal pony program? I rather not have it fail and become an economic burden like the Medicare program. Zombies as an alternate source of energy is promising, but I feel big oil will find some way of lobbying away any potential this program could hold. I like his platform, but I will need some specifics on how he plans to achieve such lofty promises, especially considering he's made the statement that he plans to keep none.
This guy is moderately clever, but no one -I REPEAT- no one will ever be able to dethrone the rhino party as the greatest political trolls of all time, seriously they almost beat out actual candidates in some ridings.
On January 20 2012 12:30 Epishade wrote: "I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make." "A vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away."
On January 20 2012 12:30 Epishade wrote: "I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make." "A vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away."
^^ Vote for Vermin Supreme ^^
I guess you could say. . .
*sunglasses*
. . .he won't pony up.
I guess you could say.... he's the same as every other candidate then =S
On January 21 2012 04:17 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote: I think Destiny just lost his position as world's greatest troll.
Destiny was never the world's greatest troll. Vermin Supreme is a huge troll, but he is not the world's greatest troll. Throughout history there have been trolls far greater than most of us can imagine, trolls that changed the very course of history with their trolling.
Did anyone totally lose their shit when he said "Pony based economy". I mean I heard some shit in my time, but that has to be one of THE funniest things I have ever heard.
Oh man, lol, I'm a little surprised they'd let him run. You'd think doing something like throwing dirt on the other people would get him banned from being able to run any longer.
What this mandatory tooth brushing law is not about: - Secret dental police kicking in your door at 4 am in the morning - Dental reeducation camps - Hidden harmless yet addictive substance in goverment controlled toothpaste - Hidden agenda to create a race of winged monkeys But it's about strong teeth, and a strong America.
Average stereotyped redneck american: Seems legit! Yeehaw!
On January 21 2012 06:18 ThaZenith wrote: Oh man, lol, I'm a little surprised they'd let him run. You'd think doing something like throwing dirt on the other people would get him banned from being able to run any longer.
Hilarious guy anyway.
Its glitter, heres a vid that you get to watch it a bit closer:
Well if that guy can get on national television i now know i have some hope. But i must say everyone was acting pretty calm, how no one laughed is beyond me. Credit to Randall Terry for not flipping a shit haha.
His campaign sounds wonderful however I'm not entire convinced whether he is the right fella to follow. I have some questions about his proposed programs to help me understand his campaign better.
- Do we get free toothbrushes and toothpaste to go with the compulsory teethbrushing law? If not, what about poor families who can't afford toothbrushes, do they receive lighter sentences for the unspeakable crime of going to sleep without washing their teeth?
- How did the Union of Tooth Fairies receive these prevention based plans about dental care? Will the transition be smooth, or can we expect mass unemployment in health care and demonstrations?
- What kind of ponies do we receive as part of the government-subsidized pony program? Do we get animal style horse ponies, or My Little Pony style brightly colored talking ponies? Do we get both? Mind you this is a critical point for quite a few of us, the government subsidy should not mean cost-cuts and bad ponies. We want Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, not crap OC ponies. Background ponies are okay though.
- I have heard from several sources that zombie-based energy production is not as green as it is claimed to be. Apart from safety issues, the turbines involved in the process need a lot of petroleum to make, also the brain used as bait comes from cows, which are a major source of methane, a greenhouse gas. The zombies also can catch flying birds which can endanger as much as 1% of some major species! Should we accept the advice of our wise little green men and throw out this entire new method of production of cheap energy?
- Do we expect fair compensation and equal treatment of zombies, or should we risk that the mindless slave workers rise up and destroy our brave new world? Or can we squelch any revolution since they are not human anyway?
I have noticed a lot of people from nations which don't have English as their native language referring to this as trolling. This is not trolling, it's somewhere between satire and absurdity. It's awesome though, enjoyed the dental puns.
Can somebody please explain to me, wtf I just watched? Is he real? Was he really talking? WHAT IS GOING ON?!? MY MIND IS BLOWN, and I cannot stop laughing.
EPT
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