EPTTeamliquid, I would like to point your attention a presidential candidate quickly gaining momentum.
His name is Vermin Supreme and he is a fascist.
Despite unsuccessful campaigns in 1988 (mayor of Baltimore), 2000 (US President), 2004 (US President, Democrat), and 2008 (US President, Republican), Vermin Supreme has high hopes of snagging the Democratic nomination, snatching the heart of the Nation, and sweeping the election.
Though officially running as a Democrat, Supreme's platform transcends traditional partisan positions. Despite no official statement identifying his key issues, I believe the following are the policies Supreme is most passionate about:
- Proper Dental Hygiene (including a mandatory teethbrushing law)
- A Government Funded Pony for All Citizens (including a Federal Pony Identification Program)
- Zombie Apocalypse (including a zombie-powered turbines to reduce dependence on foreign energy)
Personally, I think the most compelling reason to vote for him is his sublime performance in recent debates. Check out the following video taken at the recent New Hampshire debate for lesser-known candidates in the Democratic Primary:
Ask yourself this: Would your life not be better with an extra pony in your life? Can America afford to sit idly while the threat of a zombie apocalypse looms over the horizon? Should it be a right for an individual not to maintain proper dental hygiene?
STRONG TEETH FOR STRONG AMERICA,
Vermin Supreme for President
To read more about Vermin Supreme visit his website here.
