Dating: How's your luck? - Page 76

On January 09 2013 04:46 Chemist391 wrote:
I spend 80 hours a week in a chemistry department at a university, so I only ever really see other graduate students and my undergraduate students (ethically off-limits). I don't want to date inside my department, so I'm at somewhat of a loss lately.

I tend to spend my only time outside of the department cycling, running, and playing SC2 to stay sane.

On January 08 2013 17:00 Drowsy wrote:

I tried to get to the bottom of that once but she's clearly self-conscious about it so I tried not to prod too much. Her mom is a director of operations and she's an "assistant director" at the same company, and she cited convenience as a reason as well as the fact that eastern cultures tend to be more family oriented. But she's only had that job for 2 years so that's still 18-30. Neither of her parents have health problems. Her parents also "grounded" her from her car after she got in an accident in a parking lot at one point (it took every fiber of my being not to make a joke about asian female drivers when she told me about it). I'm also about 99% sure she's a virgin, which I don't consider a plus or a minus but it says something.


Okay that all sounds bad now that I write it out, but she's a stone cold 8.5/10 and is very sweet, smart, and feminine.

On January 09 2013 04:59 XDJuicebox wrote:
I chased a girl for a year and two months. The first year didn't go well, at all.

Never give up, never surrender.

I'm now a happy guy ^^

On January 09 2013 05:12 Mikau wrote:
Finally decided to post here.

I'll be 24 in a month, single and always have been. Still a virgin, haven't even ever kissed a girl. The few girls I made a move on turned me down (though I realise now I went about things about as bad as I could have with them). I get really lonely sometimes and I have some confidence issues (though not as much as I used to in high school) so asking a girl out is hard. As it stands right now I don't even really *want* to ask anyone out. I just wouldn't know how to handle things. It's not even the fear of rejection as much as it is the fear she actually says yes.

When I'm with a group of friends I'm really witty and (if you can say this of yourself) funny with interesting things to say, but that just shuts down whenever it's one-on-one contact. Not even just with strangers,but even with the friends (bar that select few I'm just really comfortable with and close to). I just wouldn't know how to fill a few hours with someone I barely know. Especially with a girl I might be interested in.

Add to that I just started studying abroad and am having some issues motivating myself to study (have always had those, but I'm now getting to the point where I really can't afford to anymore) and a weight problem I've had all my life (lost 25 kg last year, but I'm starting to gain some of that weight back since I started living on my own).

All in all I just feel like now is not the time to focus on getting into a relationship (or any female contact really), but I also feel that the longer I wait actually getting out there the more I'll stand out as "that 23/24/25 year old guy who's never been with a girl before". In short, I just don't really know at this point.

On January 09 2013 06:00 nRoot wrote:
My ex just dumped me right before new years after >7 years ... back to the drawing board I guess ._.

On January 09 2013 06:25 REDBLUEGREEN wrote:
It's a fucking mess.

I should be feeling super confident and happy.

Despite being a total wreck, in the worst physical shape of my life after not having done any sport for one year, the pretties asian girl I ever saw in reallife still managed to fall in love with me, despite her having a boyfriend. She complimented my intelligence, my nice character and the size of my dick (best compliment combination ever, seriously, what else can you hope for).
Later on I had other girls quite obviously attempting to flirt with me.
I even had one girl approaching me, when I was about to leave a club, telling me to stay because I was the right one for her for tonight.

I should be full of confidence and yet I am not.
I am not because I still have feelings for my ex and I know so does she. But somehow it is not working out right now.
And I don't understand why or if this is temporarily or permanently. And this state of not understanding is killing me, is killing all my confidence, all my potential interest in other girls.

Maybe soon I will be too desperate to have sex again and I will finally allow myself to show interest in other girls again.

In the meantime I am trying to just work on myself, like some here recommended. I am getting close to being physically the fittest I have ever been and I have finally started to move away from baggy pants and band t-shirts to wearing something more adult and stylish. I could never imagine it but I must say it looks surprisingly good

On January 09 2013 04:32 rezoacken wrote:


Don't want to be a dick but when you wait 10 years for a relationship, when you finally get one and it fails, it is bound to hurt really bad.

On January 09 2013 05:31 BloodyC0bbler wrote:


For starters I can relate to you.

I am 26 and up until a few months ago had really never been in a relationship.

The likelyhood of you getting that label you are afraid of is fairly slim provided when you do approach whoever you are interested in confidently and being yourself. The girl I am currently dating is someone who actually likes the fact I have virtually no dating experience given my reasons were that I honestly was not ready to handle that level of commitment. Also given that we are older now shes hitting the age where she wants a mature / nicer guy (i say nice as in nice but you still need sarcasm or some form of edge). IE someone she can see settling down with. She is not abnormal in this given my experience as her friends are the same way, my co workers of similar age, etc...

Just be yourself, be confident and you will find someone when you are ready. The most you try to force it or make excuses the less likely it is to happen.

On January 09 2013 08:05 Mikau wrote:

Thanks.

I think that's what I was planning to do. Keep working on the things I want to work on (getting better at studying and losing another 15 kg) and let the rest just happen as it does. There's just that nagging feeling of "I should be further, emotionally". It doesn't help that every time you see family you get the "met a nice girl yet?" from different people though.

On January 09 2013 09:19 rezoacken wrote:


As far as I can read from your 2 posts (of course if I misread or make wrong assumptions feel free to ignore):

-Stop thinking about the whole relationship stuff and how its complex and a lot of work. You're not supposed to buy a house tomorrow. It really isn't complex. The starting point of a relationship should not ask you a lot more than a friend.
Really !
A few texts here and there, a date once or twice and a night at yours/hers. That's it. No long telephone conversation or 5 days a week of always being together. You have your life with a girlfriend in it and not the other way around (a girlfriend with a little bit of life).

-Maybe you do not have enough hobby (I'm just assuming). If there is stuff you want to do (climbing ? Krav Maga ? Gym ? Music ?), do them (or some of them). You'll feel better, meet people (maybe your gf will come from there), maybe get friends, get more interesting. Overall you'll like you better.

-If you feel you have physical issues you're not happy with, fix those that can be fixed, ignore the others. I read that you're losing weight. That's really good !

Good luck