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Dating: How's your luck? - Page 115

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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
April 20 2013 23:47 GMT
#2281
Huge fight with the gf. Over college, Fuck shit. Great. I try to choose a college, fall in love with a college, but the girl I love did not. Pretty sure she just dumped me. Great.
User was warned for too many mimes.
RBKeys
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada196 Posts
April 21 2013 00:05 GMT
#2282
Broke up with my ex-gf around valentines, but I have a feeling we were done before that and no one told me. Now I'm starting a relationship with a girl that I think is way more awesome than I could have imagined. Here's hoping to a good summer :D
Thanks for the break :D
sparC
Profile Joined June 2010
Germany162 Posts
April 21 2013 00:08 GMT
#2283
*forever alone*
atleast I don't need luck.

..

cuz I'm not dating .___.
Apache
Profile Joined October 2011
4 Posts
April 21 2013 00:19 GMT
#2284
My luck? Meh, not that good.

Though I'm only a sophomore in high school, I've never had a girlfriend. I asked out this girl a while back (maybe 5 months ago) and when I asked her out, her first response was maybe. She was a relatively shy girl so I though, being optimistic, at least it's not a straight out no... We'll she never really gave me a direct answer herself, and I asked a friend of her to ask, aaaand it was an obviously no by this time.

Her reason she gave was cause she didn't know me too well, which was sort of true, cause I never really had long discussion with her, but I chatted with her here and there, making jokes and all, cause getting your crush to laugh and all is one of the best feelings in the world.

I'm still kinda hung up on it, and I still have feelings for her, but if I ever feel really bad about getting rejected I just watch some of Day9's rejection story videos and laugh my ass off. Apparently like 2 months ago my friend talked to her about me asking her out and she said she had liked me once. Kind of a morale booster when it comes to dating if you ask me. Me being shy and all had trouble talking to her for a month or 2 after her answer, but now we can talk like friends and I really enjoy chatting with her. All in all, I don't think the rejection could have gone any better.
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
April 21 2013 00:25 GMT
#2285
Question for the older crowd. Anyone have experience dating someone they work with? How'd it go?

I don't work with this person closely (we're not in the same department), but we work in the same building and I see her about once a week (which I could avoid, if things went south). I've heard conflicting things about dating someone from where you work (don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.), but I've also read somewhere that most people meet their spouses either in school or from work.

Anyone have any good results with this?
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
Satire
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada295 Posts
April 21 2013 00:38 GMT
#2286
On April 21 2013 06:25 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 05:40 Toxi78 wrote:
On April 21 2013 05:37 turdburgler wrote:
On April 21 2013 05:23 iAmWaKai wrote:
So I met a friend from elementary school around 2-3 months ago. We've got a class together and we basically flirt throughout the whole class. She'll brush her hand on my face or my arm, if ever we do make eye contact it lasts for a good 3-4 seconds. We've also texted and I guess i was making her laugh as she seemed to egg me on sometimes. I asked her if she wanted to hang out and potentially watch a movie, she said that would be awesome. But when we met in class she said that she got grounded(she said it was because she left her hair straightner on during the day... do 18 y/o girls still get grounded??? really sketchy). But she did ask if next week would be good. She has a bf tho and I have no idea what's going on with them, seems like it's a bad relaionship. I think its cause he was her first so then she kinda sticks to him. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I'm still a virgin.... god these things can be so complicated. I plan on calling her this sunday and see if she wants togo get a cup of coffee and talk.
I've also talked to a couple of friends about this and one of them said shes just really flirty with everyone(although she doesn't know the person, i guess she got the impression out of the description maybe)
and the other suggested that I tell her that I'm confused and for her to clarify things.

Both don't seem right, as the second suggestion seems like a completely un confident approach while the other is out of context.

Need some help on this...


having put your penis inside someone else or not has no bearing on your current problems. you cant force her to grow up and make a choice, all you can do is take it for what it is. have fun with your time with her and wait for her to ditch her bf before you do anything inappropriate. its not your place to cause drama in her current relationship and lamenting your situation wont get you anywhere.


completly agree, at what point did you think trying to fuck up someone's relationship was a good idea ? would you feel good if someone that has "no idea what's going on [with your relationship]" was trying to hit on your girl and go as far as imagining she might be his first?

If two adults enter a consensual relationship that's where your "responsibilities" end. If the other person can justify being in a relationship at the same time it is not your problem.


That's debatable at best. It's a question of your own personal views on ethics at that point. Personally I don't mess with girls in relationships, as I really feel like you are bringing a potential of harm to yourself as well as the two others involved. (Talking emotionally more-so) It's easy enough to find a girl not in relationship where you don't have to insert yourself and cause emotional drama and potential damage to another individual.
Satire is a lesson, parody is a game.
Satire
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada295 Posts
April 21 2013 00:41 GMT
#2287
On April 21 2013 09:25 HardlyNever wrote:
Question for the older crowd. Anyone have experience dating someone they work with? How'd it go?

I don't work with this person closely (we're not in the same department), but we work in the same building and I see her about once a week (which I could avoid, if things went south). I've heard conflicting things about dating someone from where you work (don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.), but I've also read somewhere that most people meet their spouses either in school or from work.

Anyone have any good results with this?


I've dated a few girls that I've been in the same program with at University. My current girlfriend and I have dated for a year now and it's been just fine. The girl prior to that had issues with remaining friends after we dated, and it made things awkward, but that's her issue. It's been a couple years now and it's fine now. If you guys have feelings for each other just go for it. It sounds like you guys don't see each other all that much anyways.
Satire is a lesson, parody is a game.
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
April 21 2013 01:02 GMT
#2288
On April 21 2013 08:47 docvoc wrote:
Huge fight with the gf. Over college, Fuck shit. Great. I try to choose a college, fall in love with a college, but the girl I love did not. Pretty sure she just dumped me. Great.



it doesnt sound like you lost anything worth worrying about.
Rucho
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States124 Posts
April 21 2013 01:12 GMT
#2289
On April 21 2013 10:02 turdburgler wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 08:47 docvoc wrote:
Huge fight with the gf. Over college, Fuck shit. Great. I try to choose a college, fall in love with a college, but the girl I love did not. Pretty sure she just dumped me. Great.



it doesnt sound like you lost anything worth worrying about.



I agree with TurdBurglar. 99% of people are better off not sticking to their HS girlfriends/boyfriends.
antes los dollares eran bonitos, pero ahorra dollares ni ay
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
April 21 2013 03:04 GMT
#2290
On April 21 2013 08:15 Wojciech Zywny wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 07:30 ticklishmusic wrote:
On April 21 2013 07:14 obesechicken13 wrote:
On April 21 2013 06:57 ticklishmusic wrote:
A girl who meant basically the world to me passed away 3 weeks ago, so I've been in shock/ moping and basically locking myself away and trying to not fail school. Slowly getting back into the entire dealing with people thing.

Oh man...

How did she die?

Grieving and death are a natural part of life. And although old loves may fade away you have to discover new love to take its place. That means talking to your friends. Talking to girls. Eventually opening up again.

She would want you to be happy.


brain cancer.


Ouch that sucks. How old was she? What was the prognosis?


she was a month and a day from being 21.

the median survival for GBM (gliablastoma multiforme) is around 8 months. she was diagnosed about a year an a half ago, so she kept going for more than twice as long as most which was a small miracle.


On April 21 2013 10:02 turdburgler wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 08:47 docvoc wrote:
Huge fight with the gf. Over college, Fuck shit. Great. I try to choose a college, fall in love with a college, but the girl I love did not. Pretty sure she just dumped me. Great.



it doesnt sound like you lost anything worth worrying about.


from my experience (or rather my friends' experience), long distance relationships do not work at the college age. my roommate last year dated a girl for two years: they broke up 3 months into college. my roommate this year began dating a girl he had a thing with knew over the summer-- they skyped and talked like everyday for a semester, then communication petered off and they broke up about a month ago.

things happen in college. you meet new people, and that close proximity is something that a thousand text messages and even daily skype chats can't match. or, sometimes someone just has a drunken hookup. its hard.

try to break it off nicely. be the bigger person, it will let both of you break it off more easily and less painfully, and even remain good friends.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26955 Posts
April 21 2013 03:26 GMT
#2291
On April 21 2013 09:38 Satire wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 06:25 r.Evo wrote:
On April 21 2013 05:40 Toxi78 wrote:
On April 21 2013 05:37 turdburgler wrote:
On April 21 2013 05:23 iAmWaKai wrote:
So I met a friend from elementary school around 2-3 months ago. We've got a class together and we basically flirt throughout the whole class. She'll brush her hand on my face or my arm, if ever we do make eye contact it lasts for a good 3-4 seconds. We've also texted and I guess i was making her laugh as she seemed to egg me on sometimes. I asked her if she wanted to hang out and potentially watch a movie, she said that would be awesome. But when we met in class she said that she got grounded(she said it was because she left her hair straightner on during the day... do 18 y/o girls still get grounded??? really sketchy). But she did ask if next week would be good. She has a bf tho and I have no idea what's going on with them, seems like it's a bad relaionship. I think its cause he was her first so then she kinda sticks to him. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I'm still a virgin.... god these things can be so complicated. I plan on calling her this sunday and see if she wants togo get a cup of coffee and talk.
I've also talked to a couple of friends about this and one of them said shes just really flirty with everyone(although she doesn't know the person, i guess she got the impression out of the description maybe)
and the other suggested that I tell her that I'm confused and for her to clarify things.

Both don't seem right, as the second suggestion seems like a completely un confident approach while the other is out of context.

Need some help on this...


having put your penis inside someone else or not has no bearing on your current problems. you cant force her to grow up and make a choice, all you can do is take it for what it is. have fun with your time with her and wait for her to ditch her bf before you do anything inappropriate. its not your place to cause drama in her current relationship and lamenting your situation wont get you anywhere.


completly agree, at what point did you think trying to fuck up someone's relationship was a good idea ? would you feel good if someone that has "no idea what's going on [with your relationship]" was trying to hit on your girl and go as far as imagining she might be his first?

If two adults enter a consensual relationship that's where your "responsibilities" end. If the other person can justify being in a relationship at the same time it is not your problem.


That's debatable at best. It's a question of your own personal views on ethics at that point. Personally I don't mess with girls in relationships, as I really feel like you are bringing a potential of harm to yourself as well as the two others involved. (Talking emotionally more-so) It's easy enough to find a girl not in relationship where you don't have to insert yourself and cause emotional drama and potential damage to another individual.

Disregarding the whole ethical side of things, I think you're opening yourself up to a fall doing that. From my experiences (not me personally, but friends and acquaintances) the whole 'he treats me bad' or 'I'm just waiting to leave him' is a load of BS for the most part.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
BigAsia
Profile Joined November 2012
Canada451 Posts
April 21 2013 04:08 GMT
#2292
On April 21 2013 05:34 sc4k wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 05:31 BigAsia wrote:
been banging this sloot that has a BF for over a year now, feels good and bad man


Why don't you be a man, not scum, and tell the guy?


*facepalm*
YOLO
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26955 Posts
April 21 2013 04:15 GMT
#2293
Why the facepalm?
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
McBengt
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden1684 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-21 08:27:00
April 21 2013 08:24 GMT
#2294
On April 21 2013 09:25 HardlyNever wrote:
Question for the older crowd. Anyone have experience dating someone they work with? How'd it go?

I don't work with this person closely (we're not in the same department), but we work in the same building and I see her about once a week (which I could avoid, if things went south). I've heard conflicting things about dating someone from where you work (don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.), but I've also read somewhere that most people meet their spouses either in school or from work.

Anyone have any good results with this?


Hooked up with an unbearably annoying woman when I was working at a restaurant years ago. Got drunk, things happened, old story. What followed were months of awkwardness as I basically tried to avoid her whenever I could. Not recommended.

Edit: What the fuck Wombat, you're irish? I feel betrayed.
"My twelve year old will out-reason Bill Maher when it comes to understanding, you know, what, uh, how to logic work" - Rick Santorum
Kontys
Profile Joined October 2011
Finland659 Posts
April 21 2013 10:36 GMT
#2295
On April 21 2013 10:12 Rucho wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2013 10:02 turdburgler wrote:
On April 21 2013 08:47 docvoc wrote:
Huge fight with the gf. Over college, Fuck shit. Great. I try to choose a college, fall in love with a college, but the girl I love did not. Pretty sure she just dumped me. Great.



it doesnt sound like you lost anything worth worrying about.



I agree with TurdBurglar. 99% of people are better off not sticking to their HS girlfriends/boyfriends.


Would be a big mistake to let HS connections to dictate what is probably the biggest decision of your life for many years to come.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26955 Posts
April 21 2013 11:04 GMT
#2296
I'll repatriate McBengt, give me another chance!
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
McBengt
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden1684 Posts
April 21 2013 11:58 GMT
#2297
On April 21 2013 20:04 Wombat_NI wrote:
I'll repatriate McBengt, give me another chance!


You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry.
"My twelve year old will out-reason Bill Maher when it comes to understanding, you know, what, uh, how to logic work" - Rick Santorum
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-22 00:47:08
April 22 2013 00:43 GMT
#2298
Well fuck chicks. After 3rd date she tells me she's not interested in a relationship and she said she was sorry for any confusion. Politely told her to fuck off. She contacts me through a dating website, spends time with me alone several times and compliments me. I can deal with you telling me it just didn't work out and I'm not your type, that's fine, I can handle rejection. Don't fucking play it off like it was never your intention to get into a relationship, that's just gonna piss me off. Ty for wasting my time and not having the balls to admit it. Welcome to irl /ignore.

I am no longer going to pay for anything for a girl ever until it's the 3rd+ date. I like being chivalrous and all but I'm tired of a girl not having the guts to tell me the truth and just wasting my time and money. I ain't making bank or anything ffs.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
April 22 2013 00:44 GMT
#2299
On April 22 2013 09:43 Zooper31 wrote:
Well fuck chicks. After 3rd date she tells me she's not interested in a relationship and she said she was sorry for any confusion. Politely told her to fuck off. She contacts me through a dating website, spends time with me alone several times and compliments me. I can deal with you telling me it just didn't work out and I'm not your type, that's fine, I can handle rejection. Don't fucking play it off like it was never your intention to get into a relationship, that's just gonna piss me off. Ty for wasting my time and not having the balls to admit it. Welcome to irl /ignore.

You misunderstood. She's interested in a relationship, just not with you. That's her nice way of saying it. The not nice way is the way I just said.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-22 00:50:33
April 22 2013 00:48 GMT
#2300
On April 22 2013 09:44 WarSame wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 22 2013 09:43 Zooper31 wrote:
Well fuck chicks. After 3rd date she tells me she's not interested in a relationship and she said she was sorry for any confusion. Politely told her to fuck off. She contacts me through a dating website, spends time with me alone several times and compliments me. I can deal with you telling me it just didn't work out and I'm not your type, that's fine, I can handle rejection. Don't fucking play it off like it was never your intention to get into a relationship, that's just gonna piss me off. Ty for wasting my time and not having the balls to admit it. Welcome to irl /ignore.

You misunderstood. She's interested in a relationship, just not with you. That's her nice way of saying it. The not nice way is the way I just said.


Oh I figured that. She didn't have the balls to tell me shes not interested and lied and made it worse. Her nice way of saying it was actually 10x worse.

What kind of girl logic makes what she said better than telling me the truth?
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
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