The Letting Off Steam Thread - Page 251

I just got straight up robbed... I needed one color photocopy, one sheet of paper right, and I don't have a color printer so I go to this place. Took 30 seconds. It cost $3.44. I look at the invoice: $2.50 for "digital file". She charged me $2.50 for the laborious process of inserting a flash drive and clicking on the pdf. And then $0.49 for the page. Plus taxes. Fuck that shit.

at the end of high school and start of university 13 years ago i worked weekend midnights at a Fedex-Kinkos. It was the Fedex-Kinkos at Spadina and Bloor that appeared in that Pure Pwnage Comedy Podcast. The place charged more than triple the standard price for everything because nothing was open at 2 am on the weekends. There were many angry raging customers in the store every weekend. Occasionally I'd have to tell one of them to leave. If that didn't work I called the police. If they refused to leave and continued to hold an exacto knife in their hand the police arrived fully prepared to use their guns.

i play 2v2s with my gf. its great fun and great team work. we yell and scream at each other.. its great. i remember in a 30 minute game the turning point came down to who owned a certain section in the middle of the map.. i yelled at her to bring her whole army there.. my army was arleady there.. and i yelled ... WE WILL DIE ON THAT LEDGE ! ! ! funny stuff.

Why is depression so, fucking, omnipresent in my life?

Why does it decide to hit at the most fantastic of times? New relationship starts off OK, oh hello again. Got an interview coming up? Why thank you for raising your head at the most opportune of times.

Anything that feels can inject some enthusiasm to push me out of my current rut in even the medium term gets sabotaged, sigh.

When I do have an extended period of good mood, no opportunities whatsoever appear for me to capitalise on.

Sigh.

You wait 15 years for an album and when it finally comes out its a fucking piece of shit. Fuck you Tool and Fuck whoever produced this overcompressed boring meandering wank.

I hate winter's Gate so much. It is the worst map. There even is a spot above/below the natural, where if you try to blink your stalkers they get stuck behind minerals. I hope Marras moves on from Sc2. FU.

I was gonna make this a blog called "I can’t afford an island" but that might be a bit self-indulgent so here we go, 2 month bump here.

When I look at how my friends and family live, it always seems ridiculously chaotic to me. Everyone is always out there socializing, playing with their kids, playing videogames, listening to music, going to events, etc. It seems like people are comfortable living in relentlessly loud environments. A lot of them relax and even sleep with the TV on, they live near a busy street, they use their phone to play games on the toilet with the sound on. I’m jealous, because I can’t do that without breaking down.

Every day, I feel pressure building up gradually, anxiety that comes from the lack of silence. At work, computers and motors and grinding noises. At my place, neighbors stomping around, a few cars driving on the street (thankfully I live in suburbs). I go visit my parents on the weekend on a quiet little street on the side of a golf course. It’s at the very end of a dead end on a small street, there are very few cars there. But if it’s not the people making noise it’s those TWO ridiculous clocks clicking away out of sync, or the old heaters.

For the last few years, I’ve been on a quest for silence. In the evening, I need to wind down and I seek quiet. But it’ll never happen. On a normal day, I get home, I sit on my chair, I want to read a book, read some news or forums on the computer, exhausted from my day. And I hear it all. People are speeding on the street. Neighbors moving a chair dragging it on the floor the whole way. One of my case fans has a slight rattle that no one else could possibly be bothered to notice. A slight coil whine pierces through my closed-back headphones like they’re not even there. I’ve started replacing computer fans for premium Noctua ones, I want to insulate the walls but that’s expensive and won’t entirely work. I moved loud devices like my NAS to be farther from me. I wish that, every day, I could have maybe 30-60 minutes just to myself, with nothing but the sound of rain on the windows or wind in the trees.

But why bother. I managed to make my PC quiet, and now everything else is louder. The cars out front are louder now, the fridge keeps turning the pump and fan on, the water running through the pipes because someone else is using their sink or flushed a toilet. Also, my tinnitus sounds worse. But worst of all now are all the other shit sounds I can’t locate. There’s a vibration that seems to be in certain rooms in my place, and completely absent in others. It’s not any of my electronics. I have no idea where it comes from, it’s a pulsating vibration in my ears and down my neck. It’s at my computer, it’s in my bed, and it only shows when all the other sounds are almost absent. At night, traffic is at the lowest, neighbors are sleeping, I lie down in bed and it vibrates. So, I turn on the white noise machine, my head hurts from clenching my jaw in frustration and I wake up in the morning. The vibration is there. And then the day starts. Coffee machine, cars driving in front of the house, then my garage door, car engine, and soon enough it’s people. Fucking people.

It has gotten to the point where I feel like my sanity is slipping away. Maybe I’m just being a princess, maybe there’s something else that’s wrong with me. I get so mad at everything after hours and hours of unrelenting fucking noise that sometimes I just can’t be around people or I know I’m capable of snapping at them and being a huge dick for no reason.