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-People who yell at each while well into talking distance and have entire conversations very loudly even when their surroundings are quiet
-People who merge way under 100km/h or 60mp/h
-I'm probably going to die in 10-15 years because of a medical condition and I know I'm not done but I feel fucked and because of it I waste a lot of my time doing nothing because I feel like it's all pointless. Can't seem to deal with that.
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I've always wondered what people think of me on this site.
Also FUCK Agnostic Aethists. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU. Hannah Montanna, Gtfo
Also WTF is wrong with people my age. Like its fucking ok to stick a tampon up your ass to get drunk. Are you fucking retarded + Show Spoiler +
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+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
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Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
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+ Show Spoiler +How are my roommates so inconsiderate. It's actually, mindbogglingly ridiculous. They're small things, but they add up, and these are guys I consider my good friends.
1. One takes stuff out of my personal "clean" fridge (only cooked, non-perishable food or drinks), fills it with his beer and leaves my milk out for most of a day. Milk doesn't go bad because I catch it in time, but come on.
2. A DAY after we clean the kitchen (because it was disgusting, I haven't cooked in over a month because I've been so busy) and vowing to keep it clean, they start leaving dishes overnight, food scraps all over. These are MY pots and pans and mostly my utensils, which I let them use. They've messed up my pots and pans to a certain degree already, but I haven't said anything.
3. They know I'm stressed and busy. They blast music in the living room anyways while I'm trying to study for my test tomorrow.
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On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
This is sort of what I imagine just after getting married is like.
+ Show Spoiler +
ANOTHER CASE OF CHAUVINISM TO ADD TO YOUR LIST HUE
On November 23 2013 11:46 MysteryMeat1 wrote:I've always wondered what people think of me on this site. Also FUCK Agnostic Aethists. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU. Hannah Montanna, Gtfo Also WTF is wrong with people my age. Like its fucking ok to stick a tampon up your ass to get drunk. Are you fucking retarded + Show Spoiler +
I think if you say agonostic atheist its because atheist is a real buzzword when it comes to debate while a lot of religious people think agnostic is just "lazy" however pure "atheism" is hard to defend also.
I see nothing morally objectionable to putting a tampon up your ass to get drunk.
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On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
Bravo, I love you.
+ Show Spoiler +FUCKING DERRICK ROSE GETS INJURED AGAIN LESS THAN THREE MONTHS INTO THE SEASON. WHY DO THE BEST PLAYERS GET FUCKING INJURED ALL THE TIME. BRANDON ROY AND GREG ODEN AND NOW ROSE FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
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On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
In general I agree. Except I do like the local news and I don't like Lincoln Park.
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Nice Nina. Funny as always. 
+ Show Spoiler +1. When people try to shut down anti-sexist, racist, or homophobic arguments by going "We know you had it bad in the past, but now things are better so stop whining" or "Look at that country/region. They do worse things. First world problems I tell you."
2. Ironically racist/sexist/homophobic people. They tend to make a bigoted joke/statement, acknowledge it is bigoted, then laugh it off as if they did nothing wrong. No, making a joke about Hiroshima, Vietnam, or Pearl Harbor and then giving me the wink is not going to impress me.
3. Liberal anti-bigots. One girl at the Obama headquarters thought that the Democratic Party was entitled to my vote because I am queer and that their party is nothing like the Republicans in terms of LGBT rights (which is unfortunately true, but what a way to ignore Republicans who are sincere about gay marriage and anti-homophobia.)
4. Also, when it comes to liberal anti-racists, they seem to use that word to simply strengthen their party. They are just as privileged as their political opponents.
5. People who believe that multiculturalism means eating at foreign restaurants, and the ability to get aroused when seeing someone of the different race.
6. When I hear American secularists state that religion should not even be taught in public school. Yes, the Christian Right wants to do that in order to indoctrinate people, but a secular religious education is meant to teach people about all the major religions since it is very important.
7. I do not believe in God at all, but I cannot stand anti-theists (Hitch fans especially) who believe that homophobia is inherently rooted in religion. Well guess what? Everyone is capable of homophobia. Communists and anarchists have had a history of homophobia (It's part of capitalism). Religious people have had a history of homophobia (It's the devil and it's those damn commies). Libertarians have had a history of homophobia (But the government will become too powerful). I have even met my share fair of homophobic atheists (Can't we all get along and stop the media circus and focus on more important issues like Africa or North Korea?"
8. People who believe that cynicism is wisdom.
9. When talking to people about politics, I cannot even say "liberal democracy" anymore without making myself look like a Democrat so I have to use "modern democracy" instead.
10. People who complain about games becoming too easy and hence, crap, but when given a complex novel, painting, or song, they respond something along the lines of "The curtain is fucking blue." Like games which takes years of gameplay to truly understand, the arts and humanities are very similar to have some respect, even if you are not a fan.
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Why do you think McKinley was bad? I'm curious.
+ Show Spoiler +I think he was a kickass president who started the tradition of putting third-world countries in their place with the American hammer of liberty, but was overshadowed by the most badass president in US history who took over when he died 
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Netherlands6175 Posts
On November 25 2013 10:49 hacklebeast wrote:Show nested quote +On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
In general I agree. Except I do like the local news and I don't like Lincoln Park.
I agree with it but mush less aggressively. Also, I don't like local news and I do like Linkin Park.
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+ Show Spoiler +Geo-engineers. These fuckers fly overhead, then they dump sulphur.
Factory farming. Fuck their antibiotics. That shit is toxic.
Northern Alberta. So much for pristine nature. Oil marches on.
As for Obama, hope is not a strategy. It's all a charade.
Fuck diablo3. They call this story-driven? More like cash driven.
Fuck you David Kim. Spectators before players? Listen to LaLuSh.
Marine life is fucked. Fukushima is a mess. Here comes the cancer.
Forget MaganFox. Mango's Fox is way hotter. Smash brothers hwaiting.
Fuck this cloud cover. I want to see the comet. I hear it's epic.
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+ Show Spoiler +The right headphone in my $100 Sennheiser HD 280's was dead when I plugged it in this morning. So fuckin pissed. Been looking up ways to maybe fix it. So annoying...really can't afford to replace those right now. Also, my monitor has been acting weird. After it goes into sleep mode and I wake it up it will just turn off and I hear this weird crackling sound from the monitor. Eventually it will come on though. I also still need to get a new computer chair as my old one just kinda broke. I been using a chair from our dining room for now but its not that great and causing back pain lol. All my computer shit seems to be fucking up at the same time T_T
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+ Show Spoiler +These fucking Atlanta Hawks keep collapsing against scrub teams like Utah, Boston, and now Orlando. I bet you we'll actually beat Houston tomorrow night. I'm not unrealistic about the team, like I know they're not world beaters, but for FUCK'S SAKE BEAT THE TEAMS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BEAT, DON'T COLLAPSE AND LOSE BIG LEADS AND GET DOWN BY 15.
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On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
You´re awesome. :=)
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+ Show Spoiler +Fuck Hearthstone. Like, actually fuck it. Seeing the game in action being played by others you think 'oh, won't this be fun, all these cool mechanics and heroes I get to play with'. Well fuck you, you can't. Why? Because it's a pay-to-win game. And I could go on for at least 347 minutes about why pay-to-play is fucking better, but apparently people have forgotten what the fuck it's like to pay for a game, and actually have the whole fucking game, instead of downloading a WHOLE FUCKING GAME for nothing and then realizing OH WAIT, you don't have shit, and you never will unless you fork over the money, and probably in the triple digits too, boy do these fuckers know how to run shit. So you're basically playing a fucking demo until you do.
BUT WAIT, here comes the best part. THIS IS A BLIZZARD GAME. So invariably, it will have some stupid fucking bug that has you scratching your head going 'how the fuck does that even exist'? Playing Druid of the Claw with Snipe active causes the game to crash? You bet. That's the only one I can remember off the top of my head because I'll be honest here, and this'll shock you, I'm pretty fucking pissed right now. That's the only one, except for the most obnoxious possible bug which now affects me, who else really. Anything else and I wouldn't have given two shits, and I'd still be enjoying the game right this minute. Nope, I get a bug where I CAN'T BUY SHIT. Blizzard, I want to give you all kinds of money so I can win at this game, but... you won't take it. Isn't that fucking nice. A stupid fucking bug that says because I have parental controls set up, I can't buy shit. Only I never set up parental controls.
So something I never set up, and ergo can't disable, is preventing me from giving Blizzard my money so I can enjoy their fucking dumb-ass-piece-of-shit game more, instead of fucking LOSING to everyone I ever come across because they got to spend their money. Little fuckers. The best part? I can't even set up parental controls so I can disable them, because APPARENTLY, my BNet email address is invalid. The same FUCKING email I've been using for your games for, whew, years now, is suddenly invalid, when I decide I want to erase your stupid fucking parental controls, because those can only be accessed through an email sent to some offshore banking account of an email address, that I can't fucking get to.
And why the fuck is Blizzard so anal about something so stupid as parental controls anyway? Probably the same reason SC2 can't have LAN, bunch of uptight dicktwats. So basically, I can't play the game, because I lose to everyone, and can't do shit, basically one of those abusive relationship things. Hmm, where have I encountered this shit before? Oh yeah, SC2, where I keep holding out thinking SURELY, they'll pull their heads out of their asses with balance, and with the map pool. Nope. Still the same old balance changes that make no fucking sense, and OH YEAH, if you're a tournament that means anything these days, NOW you have to use the WCS map pool, or nothing. So Blizzard's dictatorship over their dumbfuck game spreads. Have fun seeing shit like Alterzim in the fucking GSL assholes.
Seriously, Blizzard must've been just recently replaced by a bunch of kids with Down Syndrome. They start off with a great game, and then fuck it in the asshole with a series of used rubber dicks. And don't get me started with Diablo 3, the game with a pisspoor excuse for a story and a dumbed-down version of D2's fighting mechanics. Oh yeah, they did the pay-to-win shit with D3 too! Why give the game the fun of finding an awesome drop, when you can just pay some asshole who did it for you? Then you don't have to do any of that pesky playing! But oh wait, Blizzard realized that shit actually FUCKING KILLS your game, and so they're getting rid of it. You know, eventually. I think they finally start to have some idea of what the fuck they're doing, but I just started this rant about how Hearthstone's FUCKING PAY-TO-WIN. At least they're changing the name of the parental control from "Real Money Auction House" to "Allow In-Game Spending". That lets me know that this seemingly psychotic maneuver was, in fact, completely intentional.
I gave you a mile Blizzard, turns out you didn't deserve an inch. Fuck you guys.
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On November 27 2013 03:37 Trozz wrote:+ Show Spoiler +
Northern Alberta. So much for pristine nature. Oil marches on.
Yup. It's the worst.
+ Show Spoiler +Also, screw my stupid object oriented/math professor (he teaches two classes I am in). He's screwed us over so many times this term and now he has gone too far. A huge assignment in each of his classes due on the last day of class before finals, and he assigned them knowing we had a huge assignment in my other comp sci class due at the same time. Our other prof was gracious enough to give us an extension in wake of this happening but this guy does not care. He should be fired. His lectures are complete garbage, he doesn't actually us anything because he just reads a powerpoint and goes through the textbook's examples that we can go through ourselves, or worse, he does the practice questions that we have the answers for so it limits what we can do for practice ourselves. He should just retire if he is going to be that lazy.
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+ Show Spoiler +It's that time I guess. ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HBtiDDz.png) - Fuck a clock, fuck a Papa Doc.
- Nickelback doesn't suck, you fucking assholes.
- Make up your fucking mind, is Family Guy funny or not? First everyone thinks it's the shit, then that Southpark episode comes out, and everyone goes "Family Guy is just a bunch of random jokes and I don't like it". If that's the case, go watch BASEketball, then come back and say that with a straight face. You won't be able to because that movie was fucking funny. Seriously, if there were ever a Southpark episode where everyone jumped off a cliff, I swear that half the world's population would die the next day.
- Southpark stopped killing Kenny, so forget sexy, bring that back.
- This thread: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=437131#10
In an article on Naver, it says:
한국e스포츠협회가 불법베팅 및 승부조작 사건으로 집행유예를 선고 받아 프로게이머 자격을 박탈 당한 마재윤이 해외 대회에 참가한 것에 대해 유감의 뜻을 전했다.
마재윤은 지난 28일 중국 SCNTV에서 주최한 스타크래프트:브루드워 대회에 출전해 중국 프로게이머와 한 팀을 이뤄 팀플레이 대회에 참가해 우승을 차지하며 논란을 일으켰다. 이에 한국e스포츠협회는 진상 파악에 나섰고 블리자드와 제재조치에 대해 논의하고 있는 것으로 알려졌다.
마재윤은 불법베팅 브로커로 활동해 선수들에게 승부조작을 알선하고 돈을 건넨 혐의로 실형을 선고 받았고 프로게이머 자격을 영구박탈 당했다. 이 사건으로 e스포츠는 큰 타격을 입었고 산업 자체가 위축되면서 남아있는 프로게이머들이 엄청난 충격을 받았지만 마재윤은 아프리카TV에서 방송을 진행하는 등 계속 논란을 일으켰고 이제는 해외대회까지 버젓이 참가하며 논란을 키우고 있다.
이에 한국e스포츠협회는 사태 파악에 나섰으며 블리자드에게 물의를 일으켰던 선수들의 대회 출전을 강력하게 막아달라는 의견을 전달했다. 현지에서 열렸던 대회는 블리자드의 승인을 받지 않았던 대회였기 때문에 중국 블리자드 역시 마재윤이 참가하는 것을 전혀 몰랐던 것으로 알려졌다.
한국e스포츠협회 서형석 차장은 "한국에서는 블리자드 게임으로 대회를 하기 위해서는 블리자드 코리아에 승인을 받아야 하는데 중국에서는 이런 과정이 생략된 채 너무나 많은 대회가 열려 일일이 확인하기는 힘든 상황"이라며 "그렇다 하더라도 한국에서 실형을 선고 받았던 마재윤이 프로게이머라는 자격으로 대회에 참가하는 것은 말이 되지 않기 때문에 이 부분에 대해 블리자드에 강력한 제재조치를 요구할 것"이라고 말했다.
또한 추가로 한국e스포츠협회는 "향후 어떤 대회든 프로게이머 명예를 땅으로 떨어트린 선수가 리그에 참가하는 것은 최대한 막을 것"이라며 "협회가 할 수 있는 모든 수단을 동원해서라도 다시는 이런 일이 벌어지게 하지 않을 것"이라고 전했다.
Seriously guys? What the fuck. Allow me to translate for all you non-azns.
KeSPA has sentenced match-rigger and professional buttplugger, Ma "sAviOr" Jae Yoon to probation, as he is an insult to real gamers everywhere, because he doesn't give a shit about his actions in the past.
However, despite his ban from e-Sports, 28 Days Later, Savior was up to his old tricks, and began competing professionally in China's SCNTV, winning like 1,000,000,000,000 dollars in prize moneys, causing massive controversy, despair and death. KeSPA has petitioned the parent company of StarCraft, Blizzard Inc., what could be done to fuck with the Chinese for allowing Savior to play in their shit.
Isn't letting Savior and his minions play in this supporting their illegal betting, match-fixing and general faggotry that they went to prison for, and were perma-banned from e-Sports for? Because of these actions, the ESPORTS business took a kick in the balls, and came as a shock to fans and other progamerz who feel like Savior is a faggot who shouldn't even be allowed to stream on Afreeca, and engage in StarCraft-playing, even outside of Korea.
Meanwhile, in Korea, KeSPA was stroking a white cat and plotting revenge. They realized that Blizzard had a stake in the tournament, and let Blizzard know that their players were strongly opposed to Savior being a part of the tournament due to the fact that he tries to fit cocks into his mouth that are way too large, and Blizzard like "We had no idea this tournament was even happening lol, we're working on Heroes of the Shit."
According to KeSPA's Vice-Dictator, Seo Hyeong Seok, he concedes there is a layer of ambiguity as to whether Savior can play in tournaments outside of Korea, but added "We sent this guy to jail. I'm pretty sure he got butt-raped in prison. He's a criminal. So why the fuck is it that Blizzard closely regulates how we conduct tournaments in Korea, but in China, they just let criminals join the tournament? That doesn't make any goddamn sense."
KeSPA commented further, saying "We hope that Blizzard will ban Savior from everything, and I hope that all professional gaming venues will respect our authoritah and join us in taking a shit on Savior's face for all of eternity, and in closing, be sure to check out our latest SC2 tournaments!"
...
uh
Fuck that shit bitch, eat a motherfucking dick and lick a million motherfucking cocks per second. Kespa should go back to getting ass-fucked by Blizzard instead of talking StarCraft: BroodWar, you know, the game they totally abandoned. You know what? I hope Savior plays in like 200 more tournaments and wins himself a mansion and a mercedes benz and gets enough skrilla to buy a Russian mail-order bride from Sergey Mavrodi's dating website just to spite Kespa.
Fuck you, Kespa. Fuck you with both middle fingers. Instead of trying to get Blizzard to do... something... they should host a fucking BW tournament. Then they can talk. But no, they just host faggy SC2 bullshit that nobody wants to see, except a bunch of noobs who want to know what would happen if "FLASH" or "JAEDONG" play against nobodies like MVP and Life who shouldn't exist. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could beat Floyd Mayweather at Tetris. I guess he wasn't as legendary as everybody thought. Or maybe everyone is stupid. Kespa is full of ass-munchers and I will never change my mind until they host BroodWar again like they should. Blizzard is just... nothing, it's just a logo taken by a bunch of helmet-wearing retards who seem to be deliberately milking the fans of the brand-name for money before it all crashes and burns.
- This takes us to Heroes of the Storm. What is the sequel going to be called? Legend of the Valiant? But Blizzard is a fucking whore and will fuck anyone and anything if there is money involved, and MOBAs are big now, so why not just randomly jump into that market, even though they had nothing to do with DotA being created out of their WC3 game. I mean, I already know how this is going to work out. At a boardroom meeting, they were all smoking a lot of crack, and said "Hey, that e-Sports thing looks like a cash cow in Korea. We need to get some of that bread. They got like, bitches in the audience and shit." so Blizzard got into ESPORTS and decided to heavily regulate it by monopolizing the RTS eSports scene by controlling StarCraft. While Blizzard in its previous incarnation produced StarCraft, the eSporting was grown organically, and DotA was grown organically. The freelancer, third-party, game-loving fans produced that shit, not Blizzard. Blizzard isn't even Blizzard anymore, it's just a moniker for corporate greed, because Activision bought the company. HotS will suck. Just think about Diablo 3 for a second. Yeah.
- This conversation: "APM is important". "No it's not". "I agree, it's all about EAPM". Stop. EAPM is absolutely useless for everything except for making fun of fucking no-lifers who have the time to talk about this stupid-ass shit. Same people who obsess over build-orders. They don't fucking think, and just want a recipe book that tells them how to win. Even if they memorize their precious build, they complete it and then go "I don't know what to do next." and here are some suggestions: Make units, take expansions, attack your opponent, defend attacks, build buildings, fuck bitches. Pick one, pussy. But you can't because you have no idea why you're doing a build order to begin with, which is to put you in a strong position to control the rest of the game, but you can't control the game if you have no brain. All of a sudden, your APM drops because you're not making decisions, and then you fucking throw games that you're winning because you get this huge advantage and then stop playing because your plan doesn't extend beyond your build order. That is a fucking stupid way to play a fucking strategy game.
- If you guys play practice games, don't play "standard" every game. Unless your mechanics fucking suck and you need to work on just controlling your shit, which I need, because I play like 250 games to "get back in shape" and my game is still absolute shit.
- I fucking hate everyone who is newer to StarCraft than me, but does better than me. They just practice 24/7, stay at home, don't exercise, get really pale, can't talk about anything outside of StarCraft, and then when they beat me, who plays casually (250 games over the course of 2 months isn't a lot) and think it means something, then make excuses when I beat them.
- I hate North American players who act all entitled and cocky for no reason. None of them have done anything, but make up fake achievements (See rant on Game for moar info) and talk a bunch of shit when they win. Then they also have to memorize their lifetime win records against everyone. If they have a negative record against someone, they only talk about the games they won. "I took a game off so-and-so" they'll go, as if someone cares. You don't see me go around bragging about who I beat, because that's some pussy-ass shit. Quit being faggots. I know you won't, and even if you get your fucking ass kicked in StarCraft, you'll keep being a bitch because apparently it's "funny". So pathetic.
- I do however, love how the above parties brag about being in the upper echelon of players, but lose to noobs regularly, but then have the audacity to criticize me and talk shit behind my back.
- I hate my fucking play in StarCraft. ZvZ is retarded and allows idiots to win. My ZvT is countered by, let's be honest, anyone who plays well against Lurkers. My ZvP sucks. The whole match-up makes no sense, and I want to delete my whole ZvP guide and just go "Just 4pool every game", but then I'd change my mind later and give a hysterical confession about my depression, then change that confession to "I like cats", but it won't matter because one of the TL mods will read what I originally wrote and then tell everyone in the TLS skype chat. I just watch the fucking games of players like Jacklinks, and the guy is just fucking talented. He isn't even that good, and macros better than I do. So once again, I have to go back to the fucking drawing board on ZvP, because I am sick of losing to people who I know I can beat.
- I hate when I struggle with a match-up and someone gives me retarded advice.
- I hate when my friend dRaW gives me advice, and then changes his advice a few months later. Not that he gives bad advice on specific stuff. The specific stuff is usually good stuff, but the overall stuff usually makes me want to throw a baby out a window when it doesn't work (example: "Just do lurker drops every game" and then there are cannons every time.)
- GATTACA WAS SO CORNBALL, IT'S RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY, NO YOU SHUT UP, NERD. ROFL ROASTED.
- I hate my game, but I hate everyone else's a little bit more.
- I don't handle criticism well, especially when it's from my friends* who talk shit about me. Maybe they aren't my friends and we should do something about that.
- I fucking hate that I can't swear in front of my family. Sometimes I just want to say "What the fuck?" and "That's bullshit", but it would bring me much shame, so I have to express myself all diplomatically when I really just feel like screaming. I'm a grown woman and I can't freak out, scream and cuss? I can't throw things and break stuff? I can't yell "FUCK!!!" at 4 a.m. in the morning? Good Lord, I need to move out already. It's way overdue, but it would seriously affect my NEET lifestyle, having to get a job and interface with people. I hate people. I need a job where I can abuse my customers liberally with insults, like Radio Show Host, but all those jobs require a "college degree", and if there's one kind of person who is more insufferable than "Customers", it's "College Professors". I want to punch them all in the face.
- I hate that my parents can't understand why I'm so fucking angry all the time. Maybe they shouldn't have made such shitty decisions in my early childhood, and maybe my fucking high school friends shouldn't have just abandoned me when I needed someone the most, and maybe my ex shouldn't have dumped me out of the blue and then gone out with someone else right away. Maybe the next ex shouldn't have said "I think we should just be friends." Maybe my next ex... whoa. I got burned a lot. Holy shit, I got burned a lot. I'm like "How dare you reject me? WELL, I REJECT THE WORLD. Fuck you!"
- Fuck all my exes, I'll put hexes on them all while they build probes out of their nexus, and shoot them in the face like we're living in Texas, where they pray but I prey on them cuz we're some Tyrannosaurus Rexes.
- I agree with everything NewSunshine said just because Blizzard's asshole is filled to the brim with dicks.
- When the fuck are we gonna catch Ayman Al-Zawahiri? For fuck's sake...
- Kespa and SNM both hate Savior, so I'm flirting with the idea of liking him, but no. Savior is a fuckhead. But also, he was the subject of Shalashaska's "guide" on how to emulate Savior. He forgot to mention how to match-fix in the thread, but was sure to post a picture of girls swarming all over MJY, adoring his tiny tiny dick. So where did this thread come from? Well, Shala was my buddy for awhile despite that he would just lurk in Skype calls. At this time, I wrote a ZvP guide for BroodWar because the 5 hatch hydra into muta build was outdated, and I wanted to help my friends who were D and D+ get to C-. I found myself answering questions they had in detail over and over, and so I decided to write a guide to answer ALL the questions I frequently got, and I'm still not finished with that. Incidentally, one of them DID improve a lot in ZvP and then reached C-. But I give him all the credit for putting in the work. I was just glad to have been a part of that process. For the guide, I took a lot of suggestions and criticism seriously. The best advice came from Bakuryu and Aeghur. So when Shala came to me and said he had some "gripes" with the guide, I was prepared to listen. He asked me to include a build he compiled by watch FPVODs of sAviOr. I asked him to send me the build and skimmed through it. I had to read through it a few times, and then decided it was a good opening build, and said I would add it, but I'd have to reformat it. The most blaring changes that were needed were 1) basic format, because mine reads "9/9 Overlord" and his read "Overlord @ 9", and also changing small things like "lings" to "Zerglings" because I didn't want to include any slang like "Speed" instead of "Metabolic Boost". 2) There were directions and advice after the build like "Watch out for drops", and "Make more lings if necessary", which I felt was already adequately covered in the rest of the guide. 3) This part drove me nuts - exact food counts for late-game build timings, my favorite example being "@ 94 lurker aspect". Not ALL build order timings are based on food (lol, I played wc2) but some are based on other triggers, for example, if you want to get a Lair, the trigger to do so is that you get 100 gas. The Lair timing might generally come around 16-17 population, but that's not the determining trigger to get Lair. I tried to explain this to him, but he did not listen to me at all, and was mad that I changed certain things in the build to their relative timings and triggers. Again, the timings are explained in the guide already, but that didn't seem to matter. 4) He keeps calling the build "8-hatch hydra" and that makes no fucking sense because you get the hydralisk den at 6 hatcheries, or approximately 38-40 population, and then add the macro hatcheries later. 5) I also tried to explain that some of the timings will be warped for a normal player because many of sAviOr's actions are reactive/proactive as a response to his opponent, so if say, they make 18 zerglings when no zealots move out, then they're wasting larvae. He also did not listen to me. Now, I could be totally wrong about everything, and I can accept being wrong. But since I got to C+ the season prior to writing the guide based on playing really strong ZvP and refining it, and that he is D- with no idea of how to play the game, I would say the chances that I'm totally off the mark are low. But then again, his appeal to authority evoked sAviOr, and really, I guess that's a pretty good trump card because I will never be even remotely close to sAviOr in terms of skill. The thing that pisses me off is that he messaged a friend of mine and said "I think I can write a guide better than Nina's", and wrote his guide based on the fact that I wrote a guide. Then, as many people guessed, he supremely pissed me off by writing his guide with links to other ZvP guides, and deliberately omitting mine. Up to this point, I had not said anything negative towards him, but that was a fucking bitch move. To-date, I haven't left any feedback to his guide, and was really just mad that he wrote the thing behind my back, stopped talking to me, and neglected to even mention my hard work in his guide. If I sound snotty, keep in mind that he joined our skype group's calls frequently and knew damn well that I wrote a guide, because it's what prompted him to write a guide. So I was like "If you don't wanna talk to me, I don't wanna talk to you." and haven't talked to him since then, and he hasn't said shit. He got some criticism from Pauline and eOnzErg, but it wasn't anything that I instigated. I didn't link them to that shit. I didn't say "Go, make him look stupid, my minions." They just did that shit on their own. If I were to criticize the guide, it would be much worse than anything Jose could post in broken English. It would be like "This guide is trash, and belongs in the trash, so I'm going to 360 Slammajamma Tomahawk Slamdunk this guide through a basketball hoop into a garbage dumpster where it belongs for being such a worthless piece of shit. If there were a SC school, and you wrote this as a paper, you would fail your class. Your GPA would drop past zero. You would be run out of town with pitchforks and torches while you ran naked for your life. Thank your god, sAviOr, that this is not the case, and you simply do not understand strategy or management. You have no credentials, so you picked a washed-up has-been Zerg player who is a walking, breathing insult to the entire StarCraft community for matchfixing and illegal betting to try and reinforce your so-called 'points'. The build you listed is trash. If mishin read it, he would be a worse player afterward. Telling me 'Being healthy, eating well, and getting enough sleep every night all do wonders for your game' is some good advice if I routinely forget how to function as a human being. Thanks for the scene from 'Never Back Down'; that movie sucked and I roasted it the whole time I sat through it. '2nd gas at 46' is stupid. 'Lurker Aspect - 94' is stupid. '3rd Gas - 76' is STUPID. Shalashaska, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Then post that Big Lebowski meme and go "I am I the only one here who realizes how bad this StarCraft guide is?" because it's hilarious thinking about a guy cocking a gun and getting ready to shoot people over the silly reasons given in that meme. Such a good meme.
*not talking about you, you silly nerd
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+ Show Spoiler +Legitimately disappointed in myself. This week will be hard and I kind of wasted too much time already. Internet why?
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+ Show Spoiler +Edit - I decided to delete the post because it was too personal.
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EPT
