+ Show Spoiler +
So, this might be my first post ever here on this forum at all. kinda leeching it all day
Please note my native language is not english but i did my best.
so this story is about how my Dad and my Mom divorced each other.
And how it was for me, and how I handled it. This happened 7 years ago, and I still it almost everyday.
So My mom and My dad got married like 25 years ago, She got divorced already with some other person, of who I have never met, she already had a son from him. My dad was around 24 when he got married, which was kinda young back then I suppose, they bought a house etc.
Years later, when me and my brother where born and just having the good life, with no problems in our house at all. My mom went on holidays with an aunt of mine. She told me she had a great week when she came back, but the thing she was interested was most, was the computer to chat on MSN, which my mom never used before on the computer, she might have played a game of patience, but that’s about it.
She met some people on her holidays and was dying to find out how they are, and if they had a safe trip, no interest in me at all. My brother comes back home from school, and my mom is all excited towards him and talking about her vacation and how it was.
Things kinda like always went that way around my house, my brother has some extreme stutter problem and can barely speak, so he sits on a special school so they can help him better, this year it’s going great though, and they told my parents they can send him to an ordinary school again.
There everything still seemed ok. Weeks go by and my mom keeps talking on msn with some guy she met over there. And she’s all shady about it. A few days later I was playing some games with my brother at my room, and my mom called us downstairs. At the moment I walk into the room, I see my dead crying like I never seen before. And I felt things were bad, but having no idea what was going to happen.
We sat down on the couch and my mom told us, that’s she’s breaking up with my Dad. I got like seriously mad at her, slammed the door and went to my room, she came after me to my room to calm me or something, but I told her to fuckoff. And didn’t go downstairs anymore until the next morning.
Over at the dinner table I see my dad, he hasn’t been to bed and is still crying. I told him everything is gonna be alrright. He told me mom already left the house, since that would be better.
She left me and my brother without saying goodbye at all.
The week passes, and my mom hasn’t called us at all, and we have no idea where she is.
Then the phone rings, I pick up the phone, and I hear it’s my mom, so I get kinda pissed at her for not calling at all or letting us know where she is, she got mad at me, and asks me if I can hand the phone over to my little brother. They chatted a bit and they seemed fine, note my little brother was in elementary school. So he didn’t really understand completely what was going on. Next time my mom calls, I didn’t even get to speak her, she talked to my little brother and never asked for me, the first call she made, where I got mad is like the last time I heard my mother through the phone.
Later we found out my mom moved to the city where that other “friend” lives, after some digging I found out he’s married and got a son aswell. And I thought noway that’s gonna work out.
Around 2 years later
She was still living there in that city, my brother went over like once every 2 weeks, (the city was a 3,5hour drive, and my dad brought him, and picked him up again on weekends because she had no car) everytime he came back he was full of new cloths or what ever, I got so mad, she was just trying to bribe my brother to come live at her.
Some more time passed, and my mom finnaly had it for her, my brother went to my mom. At that time I get to speak my little brother little often, only time is there when my dad calls my little brother and that 2 weekly visit.
At that time my brother was around 12 or something, and after living there for a few months now, he wanted to come back to my dad, because he misses his friends. My mom gets like really mad at my dad, and sues him for it. She lost that eventually.
2 year later
My little brother is now living with us again and he’s going to primairy school now he had some bad friends, and got involved into smoking, and later on weed, where he became an addict to the weed. Anytime he wasstoned, he would become like really mad and try to get into fights with my dad, my dad did about everything he could back then, but ut was not enough, my brother got placed out of house in a sorta shelter. He spents like along time in there getting constant visists from my mom, eventhough he feels horrific there, in the meantime I haven’t spoken my mom yet at all. I’m still wondering why she can’t tell us why she left my Dad.
That’s kinda the bit of how it all went in my life, I still need to type out some more stuff about what happened earlier.
When my parents divorced I was in the years of my Finals, which lucky for me I still made, without studying to much back then. I went to my new school where I studied for Gamedesign, since I though that was pretty cool back then. I really liked it back there, and made a lot of great friends, but something I hated about was that I had to travel for a goddamn hour everyday, like halfway the first year I started skipping lessons, living at home, knowing I have nobody around in the house, I can do this without anyone mentioning anything. I start skipping more and more classes, until eventually I don’t go at all anymore, I only trick my dad every morning that I am going . I got kicked out of the school and had to explain to my dad, and everything got kinda out of hand, he told me I had like 2 weeks to find a job or I can go live on the street.
I kinda respect his words now, seeing how stupid I was back then just skipping school while my dad is paying for it being so having to work a lot more every week. And I just bail on him. But at the time I was furious ofcourse, lucky for me I found a job at some local company to which I could walk everyday. My dad kept an eye in sight a lot though.
Kept working there for some time tunil I get this other job at a supermarket which was kinda decent.
In the meantime I got a great girlfriend, she was amazing, I can’t explain to anyone how much I loved her, and maybe still do. We were on holidays together when we get a call by my dad’s new girlfriend, we were just having dinner, so we kinda ignored it. She kept calling us, until I took up the phone, asking what was going on, since we were having dinner. And we agreed not to call since we where in a different country.
She told me not to be scared, but your dad is in the hospital. He had a hearth attack we packed our stuff and went back to the Netherlands right away. I cried more on the way back then I ever cried about my mom leaving my dad.
When we arrive at the hospital, we hear from the docter that he is gonna be already, but having to rest for a long time and go and work with fysio etc.
Lucky for me he’s now almost the old one again, just having to swallow a lot of meds nowadays.
Around a year later me and my girlfriend are getting some problems, it kinda feels if the love is gone, we were more seeing eachother as brother sister figure than was boyfriends and girlfriend.. I fought with my whole hearth to save that relationship. But being me who I am, I just kept it all inside of me, never spoke about it with anyone. Because of having lost my girlfriend, I kinda get demotivated to go to school. I drop-out but after having a job at my internship.
I also go in like heavy drinking going out with friends 2/3x a week and spending atleast €50 p.p every night on whatever we could find and just wake up and don’t remember anything about what happened that night. This went on for about a few months, until I got in contact with some old friend of me living with 2 other old friends, I kinda jokingly say got any spare rooms? And he told me wthat they were indeed still looking for somebody. I end up living there, still do as of right now.
This is kinda the end of the story, this all happened between now and around 8 years ago, I’m 23 now happiliy living and really enjoying my life to be honest, I still don’t speak at all with my mom but have a great thing going with my dad.
I think this might be the first time I really ever thought about what this divorce had for an effect to my life and how I feel about it,
Damnit I never knew I was such a crybaby, I cried almost the entire writing
Hope you enjoy the read
|
On November 24 2013 18:59 ninazerg wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Do you really want to read this one? Okay. Hold my hand and we'll get through this together. + Show Spoiler +I think I spent the first part of my life playing it too safe. I mean, I was scared. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark and demons. I got older and was afraid to be alone, and I thought if I were ever alone, I would get lost (I have a terrible sense of direction) or get killed and no one would be there. I got a bit older, and started to worry about stupid shit, like fitting in but never felt like I could ever get acceptance from other kids. I got even older, got acceptance and I was afraid to lose it. I would do anything to hold onto people's approval. I don't know why I felt like saying that. Just now, things have changed so much, and I don't want to be typical or conform to what people expect. I mean, there's obviously a limit to how far I can take that, like I can't just go "Hm, it's pretty mainstream for people to breathe air, so I'm gonna not do that." because obviously I'd suffocate. It's not that I want alienate everyone, either. It's just that when you put yourself in a box and say "I can only be what I want within this box" then you're missing out on everything outside of that box. And fuck that. Let's start the fucking list! - aLtErNaTiNg cApS are fucking stupid, and whenever I type in alternating caps, it's me doing an impression of an idiot.
- If someone criticizes Obama, going "Well, it was okay when Bush was in office?" doesn't make anything okay. No, George W. Bush was the worst president since William McKinley.
- Fuck Barack Obama. Where's the repeal of the Patriot Act? Why did he sign the Defense Authorization Act? He promised to review the entire Patriot Act during his campaign and if it were found to be unconstitutional, he would work to defund or repeal the law. The problem with that fucking promise that we have something in America called Separation of Powers, and it is not the duty of the chief executive to review the constitutionality of any statute, it is the duty of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court does not subject the statute to judicial review, then the statute is entirely constitutional until that happens, which technically means that Obama could just go "Well, the whole thing is constitutional, let's keep that shit around." But the President also does not have the power to repeal laws (however, the Congress can vote to defund statutes they don't care for) so he was essentially promising a bunch of bullshit.
- Motherfuckers don't even know what the Bill of Rights is. Going "I read all the amendments, and I didn't see 'separation of church and state' anywhere in there." makes you look like a fucking idiot, you fucking gap-toothed arrogant idiot.
- We don't need prayer in schools. We need education in schools.
- I fucking hate the goddamn local news, for reasons I will elude to shortly. But fuck them. The Action News team, bringing you the best in Madison-area cocksucking and idiocy! John J. Fucktwit on sports, Jenna McWearsWayTooMuchMakeUp keeping you up-to-date on the latest murders and abductions in the area, which are probably stuffing girls into blue barrels a la Megan Is Missing or just Scott Peterson (rmbr him?), and of course, Professor John Kuhmgobbler will let you know you idiots know what all that mysterious color on the weather map means, cuz learning the colors for precipitation? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. Just a bunch of friendly light-hearted, constantly-smiling creepy humanoid robots in suits letting you know about the local sports, weather, and MURDER. Last night, in Green Valley, a wife and her child were both stabbed 17 times when the husband found them. The suspect is described as a 5'11 black man wearing a baggy paints, an over-sized white t-shirt, baseball cap, and was wearing sneakers. If you have any information about this suspect, notify the local police immediately, because the suspect is armed and dangerous and will probably rape your kids so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz black people are raping everyone out here.
- Fucking suburban kids who try to act like gangsters.
- I fucking hate child molesters. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why do these people think "Hm, looks like I'm babysitting my 7-year-old niece this evening. I guess I should fuck her. That just seems like a good idea. Wait a second. I could get in huge trouble if I do this. OH! I know! I'll just tell her never to tell anybody, or I'll kill her. By the time she's older, she won't even remember and it'll be allllll good." ARRRGGGGG WHATT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK. Then when they get caught, it's always the fucking blame-game "It's not my fault because I... was drunk and I need to get help for my alcoholism, and it's a disease, and I know what I did was bad, but I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge me, because I need help too." and that just makes it that much more insufferable. Yes, alcoholism is a disease, I know this quite well. 80% of my family abuse alcohol and drugs. They need to get help. All those fuckers need Jesus. I understand that human sexuality is complicated, but there is a line you don't cross, which is called rape. If you get wicked smashed and then run over my dog, don't expect to get sympathy. Expect anger. Expect loads of anger. Maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you for my dog, but you get wicked smashed and rape a person, don't expect me, or anyone to take it easy on you. Fear for your life. They are not kind in prison to child molesters, because while many of the inmates are murderers and drug-dealers, they have families and don't take kindly to that shit, and thank God... well, maybe "thanks" isn't the right word.
- Now, here's where this local news shit and the rape shit tie together: football. This whole stupid-ass region of the country is ga-ga about football. They love high school football and college football and professional football. The local news covers fucking high school football and interviews highschool teens who are fucking playing highschool football. Well, serve me a shitmuffin and call me Sally, but I think there might be something wrong with that. What about all the kids who excel at math and science at school? What about the artists and musicians? What about the kids playing chess? Or maybe there's some girl who saw Hunger Games, and got herself a bow and arrow and is tearing it up in the local archery scene. The local people + news are like "Nope, God bless America and let's watch some football." and they don't even really understand football at all. They're like a bunch of US East noobs watching VODs of Bisu and going "I could muta micro better than that" and I'm like "Uh, that's a shuttle." Naw, we're such a bunch of fanatical redneck faggots that we worship only three things: Jesus, Green Bay Packers, Deer Season. Seriously, someone should make a comedy show called "Deer Season" about a bunch of Wisconsin cheeseheads going up north to hunt. It'd be comedy gold. The jokes practically write themselves. The place where this gets really sick is over in Pennsylvania where Jerry Sandusky was raping kids, and people knew about it, but protected him because he was a great football coach, and they didn't want to hurt their beloved institution. That would definitely not make a good comedy show, at least in this era. Maybe 30 years from now, child molestation jokes will be hilarious, and it will win like 10 emmy awards, or whatever the hell TV shows get.
- I want to follow the Phelps family around with a huge sign that simply reads "Idiots" and has a huge arrow and I would point it at them. I wouldn't say anything. Just stand there with my sign staring into space while they yell out insane things like "Hurricane Katrina is God's punishment for the ending to Mass Effect 3!"
- The Westboro Baptist church is an organization of faggots who run around suing people and trying to piss on peoples' lives so that their angry granddad won't beat them. The granddad is Freddy "Mercury" Phelps, a former male stripper who since has gone on to become an anti-gay preacher who is obsessed with three things: Gays, The fire of Hell, and looking like Clint Eastwood. He can barely move these days, so his daughter, Shirley Phelps, has taken up the torch of Hell-fire to hold it to everything that will burn. She has the teeth of a stereotypical British man, looks like a witch (but is not a witch, just a bitch), and HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. <- OMG. The WBC regularly produces obviously low-budget videos made by some ex-filmmaker who joined them, and thank God (Was this pun intended? Was it?) he did and spared us what could have been some really shitty films. The videos feature granddad Freddy or daughter Shirley letting you know that God fucking hates YOU and that you're going to Hell. According to the WBC, who follow the teachings of confirmed faggot John Calvin, you can't get into Heaven. You're just going to Hell, that's it, and they just want to let you know that. Have a nice day, faggots!
- I hate when people think I'm talking about gay people when I say "faggot". I'm talking about faggots, not gay people. If I meant gay people, I'd say gay people.
- Foxes make kind of a high-pitched barking sound, almost like a chirp, although this sound is seldom heard, because when they are away from their dens, it is often because they are hunting, and need to stay absolutely silent and use their stealthiness to catch prey, so stop asking what sound they make or I will fuck you up with a metal pipe.
- I hate fucking MMOs. You have three options: 1) Spend your life farming and get fucking nowhere, 2) Spend an exorbitant amount of your real money to buy stuff and then the game is basically over at that point so good job wasting your money, 3) Cheat. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
- We all know Assange isn't a sexual predator. What a fucking lie.
- I want to take a minute to talk about manners. Manners are something you use to show respect to people. You don't always have to like the people you are being polite towards, but sometimes in life, you have to kiss a little ass here, and suck a little bit of dick there. But let's be fucking clear: manners are not mandatory in video games. In fact, video games are like anti-manner shields for the people inside of them, so they might string together some ridiculous insult like: "Get AIDS you shitmuffin cunt fucker faggot bitch nigger motherfucker, go get killed in a car accident you fucking retard." because I picked up the bonus box that he wanted to pick up. Contrary to popular belief, more gg is not directly correlated with more skill, and sometimes I just want pick up my keyboard and start smashing it, but since I can't do that, sometimes, I'd rather just leave the game without saying "gg". I know this is "SO SIMPLE" and "SUCH A SIMPLE KIND GESTURE" and that I should probably "do it anyway instead of being rude", I'm not going to do that. And if you care about 'gg' at this point after reading about all that rape/wbc stuff, then you need to reevaluate your priorities, you fucking virgin. The more I *have* to do it, the less I want to. Whatever happened to being good mannered voluntarily? What's wrong with that? But the more they insist I absolutely HAVE to be nice, the more it makes me want to photocopy their face onto some toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with their faces. I want to take some shit in my hands and smear it all over your life. I want to come over to your house with a gift basket of wine and awesome bath soaps, have a pleasant conversation with you, then go into your room and disconnect your ethernet cable with a pair of scissors so you can't get onto the internet and spew your worthless opinion.
- Alex Garfield, aka ottersrneat fired -orb- for saying some shit about niggers. That doesn't bother me so much. If I got caught calling people niggers, I would probably be fired from my job too. But people had to dig it up, it wasn't just out there. So after it got dug up, Garfield should've said "Look, I love freedom of speech. But I like money more. Because of the racist remarks of Mr. Orb, I have to relieve him of his field duty in the casting realm for Evil
Penises Geniuses. Furthermore, when confronted about it, he said he didn't say it, when he did, and that was a lie." But nope! He had to write some dick letter talking about how he has no black friends, but he studied black history or some shit, and that makes him an expert in the field of blackness, and that "nigger" is the most offensive word in the English language. Well, actually, that is incorrect. "Cunt" is the most offensive word, you cunt, along with I guess "felch", "Cum-dumpster", "skullfuck". Even if someone did say an offensive word, I'd give pause to evicting them from my airwaves without something I'd like to call "context". If Orb said "I really think the African race is genetically inferior to Caucasians, and this translates directly into their intuitive reasoning, which is why so few of them are able to play StarCraft 2." which would would be REALLY fucking offensive without using any bad words. The real reason Orb got fired was because if you are a boss (and you know you are) and one of your subordinates falls short, it is a reflection of your leadership, so to keep someone around who has engaged in an activity that condemned by society, you are seen as someone who supports the actions of the subordinate, and to make money, you must not ever be condemned by society or support someone condemned by society because society has the money that you want. It's hard enough to get people to give you their money. It's even harder when they really don't like you. That's the reason, so I was pissed reading some bullshit reason. I guess I'm done with that topic forever, unless something like this happens again.
- Sequels are bad. But I have a theory on why they are so fucking bad. Like, if I even see a movie with a number after the title, I don't want to see it, especially if the first one sucked, and was like EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX ON A MOTORCYCLE, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, MEGAN FOX, ROBOTS, EXPLOSIONS, the end. But most people can agree: Spiderman 1 was good. A lot of people like Iron Man 1. The first Matrix is everyone's favorite Matrix. But sequels suck. That's why Troll 2 was so bad. But the reason is probably because the movie makers want to make movies that are so terrible that the first installments look amazing by comparison. And also, it's to milk more money out of the brand.
- If you hate the pathing or unit AI in any RTS game, try playing Earth 2140 without going insane, and you will have a new appreciation for your game's pathing and unit AI. You will probably go insane though and will be caught months later in your room naked, huddled in a corner shivering, piss and shit all over the place, all the lights off and blinds shut, and words scrawled all over the walls which are nonsense, so that you can be taken to a soft padded cell with a strait-jacket on so you won't flail your arms around and hurt yourself.
- They only canceled the Sarah Silverman Show cuz she's black.
- Build-orders. People are obsessed with build-orders. They think if they just can find the right build-order, then it's free wins from here to eternity. I've explained logically why this is stupid as fuck before, so let's do the version these fags really need to hear: Do any build order you want, you will still lose, even if you are "equal in skill" with your opponents, and it's not because you're bad at StarCraft, or because they got lucky or anything like that. It's because you're playing Terran with Flash's dick in your mouth. It just looks hard. And I mean the game, but yes, also the dick that is in your mouth. You see, you have to turn your head to the side to do the sucking, which takes your eyes away from the screen, and it is critical to see the screen while playing, because if you don't look, not only are you going to suck Flash's dick, but you're also going to get ass-raped by your opponent. I hope you take this advice to heart, not to your anus.
- You think I started off this way? No, it's all you asshats' fault. The first time I admitted to being a girl on battle.net, the reply I got was "Is your pussy shaved? Cuz I'm about to fuck you in it." and like 50 mutalisks flew into my base and killed me. I'm still waiting for him to fuck my pussy but he never got around to it. He just kept playing StarCraft talking shit, then when I left the game, I felt angry. Then I learned something magical that I didn't know before: people in video games brutalize each other when they're not off raping goats and then sacrificing those goats to Satan. These types of goatfucker-players are evil, and now I have become evil. I have become that which I had reviled. If someone pre-emptively says 'gg', I feel compelled by the forces of darkness to call him whatever the fuck pops into my head. And don't think I'm saying 'gg' back. I'm pulling out my baking pan, because I'm going to be roasting nerds tonight. Fuck manners, I don't need them to play StarCraft, because 9 out of 10 dentists agree that 9 out of 10 of the people I play are fucking faggots who have to call their mom on an intercom so she can bring down a bowl for them to shit into so they can keep playing. So I hope you pussies remembered to shave this morning, because I'm about to fuck you all with ultralisks in your base and infest CCs everywhere, you fucking bitches.
- Fuck you, Linkin Park is awesome.
- I don't know why I even bother having hair sometimes. It takes like an hour brush it out, so I'm playing to go over to Locks For Love after growing out my hair so it reaches my ankles, then shave it off my head, and go "See this hair? It's mine! You can't have it!" and then throw it into a blender with some bananas, strawberries, a spoonful of sugar, some ice, a little bit of brandy, and newborn puppy, and hit 'frappe' and make David Kim drink it.
- I haven't seen this around recently, but people keep saying "Blizzard should look at Riot" when discussing how Blizzard should change their business model, because everyone on TL is a financial marketing genius with six-pack abs, mensa intelligence, can bench 225 lbs bro, is at least "mid masters" or "B-", so just trust them. Look at what Riot is doing. If I'm not mistaken though, LoL took almost a decade to hit it's stride, and it's probably just a flash in the pan. If that sounds cynical as fuck, you should consider that most of the LoL users actually hate playing the game and look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say "What am I doing with my life?", and also that LoL is such a low-end game that it is easy to reproduce, and already other companies are digging their talons into the MOBA market, which is why Blizzard is making another game called HotS. So I guess they ARE looking at what Riot is doing after all. Bye bye, RTS genre.
- SC2 is like Afghanistan; the situation is fucked up, and we're stuck with it, and also, Dustin Browder looks eerily similar to Hamid Karzai.
- I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember Dustin Browder's name because for some reason, I just could not remember it.
- Every time there's a new Eminem album, people complain and go "Why can't he just rip it like he did on the MMLP?" and so I think he just went "Well, if you want another MMLP, here you go, faggots." So there you go, faggots.
- Rap music has sucked for awhile now. All that played-out shit keeps getting recycled over and over again. Same fucking beat, same fucking music video in black-and-white that contains some slow-mo scenes, and flashes back and forth from the hood to some all-white nowhere world that has a ferrari in the background and some models with fake breasts. Let's get about who the fuck sucks: Drake, Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Wiz Khalifa, Bun B, Kid Ink, Yo Gotti, Flocka Flame, Lil Boosie, J Cole, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Big Sean, Bow Wow, Meek Mill, and last, but not least, Lil Wayne. I'm sure I can think of more if I put my mind to it, but I'd rather not. You all suck, get out of the rap game. Vanilla Ice was a joke in his day and is still 10x better than any of these idiots who are basically writing Dr. Seuss books about getting hoes and money.
- If you think religious debates are bad, watch a martial arts video, and scroll down to the comments. It's just the same shit over and over and over and over about x beats y, the counter argument that y can beat x because of z, then the counter-counter argument that x, will, in fact beat y because z is invalidated by @. What it really boils down to is someone posts a comment because they think they know everything about martial arts, and everyone else who disagrees is wrong. I've never even tried to insert myself into one of these so-called "conversations" which I'm almost convinced are being conducted by bots programmed to copy and paste preconditioned arguments and responses to spam all the comments of all the videos in some grand social experiment to discover if cockmuffins are real.
- We'll know how "good" Bruce Lee was, so stop fucking arguing about it, because he's fucking dead and this is like arguing about what would happen if Napoleon led an army against Alexander The Great. You can't fucking know, but if you want something close to an answer, I would just give Bruce Lee an aspirin and it would kill him. I win.
- The old BroodWar foreigners sucked. There a few good ones, but yeah, Sziky would kill all those other ones, and would probably kill Idra as well.
- Scan is not a "foreigner". He was born in Korea and spent most of his life in Korea. The only reason he gives a shit about foreigner tournaments is when there is money. Then suddenly, he's a God-loving American who eats apple pie for breakfast. It's an easy pay-day for a Korean who knows some English. And when he admits he was never in SKT1, it will be as surprising as when Clay Aiken announced he was gay.
- MVP (not the one from SC2) is basically Combat-EX's son.
- Fuck all those assholes who were like "BroodWar needs to die so SC2 can succeed in Korea" and "I can't wait for KeSPA to transition to SC2 so I can see Flash play it." and fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope your room suddenly is filled with kittens, and the kittens pile up to the ceiling so you run out of oxygen. And then when you wake up from your coma, you see SC2 dying out, and only 200 people play on battle.net because there's this new game where you just push one button and then the whole game plays itself and you'll be like "This is retarded, why do people want this to replace SC2?" and everyone just goes "SC2 is old." and you go "SC2 is awesome." and they're like "It's had it's time. It's time for HamsterWarz to rise as the new eSport." You only wanted to see Flash play in SC2 to see him fail, and lose to some random, but that's what happens to everyone. You know why? Because the actual game changes itself. Not the meta-game. The game changes. Units are strong one day, then the next day, they're weak. One day, you have an option and the next day that option is gone. How you think someone can stay dominant under such conditions is beyond me. This has ALWAYS been my opinion, but my opinion got a serious boost of credibility (and pardon my appeal to authority, you master-debaters) when iloveoov, the best Terran that had ever been until the era of NaDa, had this to say:
+ Show Spoiler +
Reporter: What are your thoughts on SC2?
"Before my military service, I played SC2 a lot. After a while of playing it, I felt nostalgic and loaded up SC1 and had more fun. This is me telling the truth. But after playing HOTS I have not loaded SC1 again. All in all, HOTS is better than WOL"
Reporter: what do you think is the biggest problem with SC2?
"I have played all blizzard games with the exception of WC3. In WoW, there was a character called the Warlock. He could win 2:1 and 3:1. But blizzard kept releasing balance patches. WoW has 10 classes but I saw as blizzard kept releasing buffs and nerfs. So what ended up happening was, people started playing Warlock when it was powerful but soon jumped to Hunter when that was proven to be powerful. One day I awoke to see that they were also doing the same thing to SC2."
Reporter: I think you're referring to something other than balance.
"Let's compare the two games; In SC1, they only released bug patches and was relatively untouched for ten years. We would do starleagues where at times there would only be one or two protosses. Terrans would occupy more than half the pool. If David Kim were there at that time he would have buffed protoss. That would have meant that we would have been without the exciting and awe-inspiring play of Bisu's prime. Protoss was the minority race and difficult. Thus, its play was given birth to by players like Reach and Nal_Ra. To be frank, I think it is David Kim who creates the winner when it is the gamer who must create the game. It doesn't matter what I say though; the truth is David Kim will keep on tweaking the game. I don't know what his true motives are. Is it to create a 5:5:5 of balance? I truly do not know."
How good would you say your players are at the moment?
"Honestly, about average. I asked them individually about this and they seemed to agree. If proleague were to open now, I don't think we would get very far. We're in a situation where we must try harder.
-You had a nickname as the old build cutter because of your prowess at making them. What about SC2?
"SC2 is an easier game so I think it is easier to make builds. I have made about two Terran strategies. I gathered the players and gave them a preview not too long ago telling them that it was only the first part of my return to the scene. But, what I have realized during this job is that it's not about making builds but making it so that the players will/can use them. Pro-gamers are surprisingly conservative. They'll stick to their winning ways. Of course, if a player is truly out of ideas and wins using a build the coach told them to do, they will become reliant on you. Coaches have to be careful while also forming strategies based on the current trend. That's my belief."
"It was just hard to do transitions in SC1 but in SC2, you can do them on a whim. Thus, it is easier to make builds until it is stopped by the balance patch. For example, I made a build with emphasis on the widow mine until it was nerfed. I have made one with the banshee in mind but I fear for it getting nerfed as well."
"In SC1, even builds had a history. It was on a course of innovation. If you look at PvZ, there was 2 Gate, 1 Gate, and they even came up with forge double nexus. Protosses were so bent on being safe from early lings until came the Bisu build. If you keep balancing a game saying that it's too hard without even going through these cycles then your game ends up being a never ending beta test. I even heard that Boxer had emailed David Kim about this. Judging from his skepticism, I don't think David Kim ever replied.
- There will always be die-hard foreigners who will believe in SC2 to the bitter end because they just want it to "work". They all have different reasons. Some of them like the game (although, how do you like the game if you think it's flawed?), some of them want to become pro-gamers but believe the game isn't balanced, some of them want to become big-time casters and get all kinds of fame and prostitutes. But SC2 is an abusive relationship. What I learned about abusive relationships is that many women are not in love with their abusive boyfriends, but are in love with an idea of what they feel like their boyfriend could become if they were just do all the right stuff. Additionally, it's easy to become so invested in a relationship that you scared to leave because you will have nothing and will have to start from scratch if the relationship fails. That kind of relationship will never be healthy. Your love and passion for games means less to increasingly corporatized videogame development companies than what your money. Well, not YOUR money. Your favorite developer is cheating on you as well. It only makes sense for a corporation to expand its market base by developing games that are easily accessible to casual gamers and n00bs. This, of course, is epic fucking fail, and explains why all the games are turning into like 90% cutscenes and the TV commercials don't even show the actual fucking gameplay anymore. We must be living in Soviet Russia, because video game is playing YOU.
- People always ask "Where the gurlzz at??" in SC2. More importantly, there was a thread about girl casters, and they completely overlooked ZombieGrub. ZG + Wyrd are an awesome duo. Wyrd is a dude, obviously, but is the cheese to ZG's macaroni. And fuck, I just quoted Juno, but really, who gives a shit at this point? Ellen Page kicks ass. But anyhow, I think I posted like "Guys, ZombieGrub /thread" and there was still some kind of weird debate going on that devolved into some sexist diatribe about how gender roles work and the typical "women think this way and men think that way" kind of stuff that just makes me wonder if these guys have ever encountered a woman outside of their highschool. The answer of course, is no, they haven't. But super-serious, if Zombie had a dick, I would suck it in a heartbeat. I know I sound super-biased, but she's good and I feel like I need to hammer this point home before some TaraBabcockesque character ends up casting some big tournament instead of Jessica.
- Megan Fox is not a good actress.
- I watched some SC2 cast and there were two guys casting who were REALLY nerdy (not gonna say who) and had the charisma of my cat. Don't get me wrong, my friends and I were watching and really enjoying it. It was so awkward. It was like so wrong that it was right. But then battle.net went down and then things got super-awkward, because they were just sitting there next to each other going like "Uh." and didn't know what to say, and were both unsure of whether to talk, look at the other one, so they kept looking at their computer screens, waiting for battle.net come back on. It was so fucking funny until they ended the broadcast because there was no battle.net. The fuck-yous here go to Blizzard for their no-LAN policy. The hoorays here go to the brave nerds who created so much unintentional comedy. The point is, though, if you want your casters to have enthusiasm and personality, get the ZG.
- Look, this next one, I'm gonna keep very general and not name any names, but if someone is D rank + Show Spoiler + they probably shouldn't act all obnoxious and cocky, and also give people advice, ever.
- My family has a very interesting method of problem-solving: hardcore denial. If you don't talk about something hard enough, it will probably get worse, which means you have to not talk about it harder.
- The motw almost always sucks, or they put up a sucky map multiple times throughout the season. Nobody wants to play on Chain Reaction. And what, no Electric Circuit this season? What the fuck's with that? Maybe I just missed that week or something, but I didn't miss the weeks where we got Luna The Final and Ride of The Valkyries.
- Fuck, I waste so much time watching Youtube. I learn a lot of useless shit though. Goddamn documentaries, being all interesting and shit. And wikipedia, being all full of knowledge. I find myself delving into that dumpster often to pull out some of the most retarded bits of information that will never help me ever. Why didn't I learn any of this shit in school? Because in school, they are too busy teaching you to be a pawn for a corporate-run society.
- American schools are the biggest clusterfuck in the western world. All they are is a big training camp for future workers/consumers. They teach you conformity, to constantly interface with people you hate, suck up to authority figures you know are incompetent, and corral you into a job as soon as possible. They ask you where you want to work, not who you want to be. They weed out the people not fit for good jobs, and locate the talent that can do the more complicated work for slightly more money. They put you on a schedule that you must adhere to, give you a lunch break where you must buy lunch from the cafeteria, which is unhealthy shit, or from the vending machine, which is also unhealthy shit. The standardized tests seem to be just tools to see how well you can learn and retain information for the immediate future. They get you used to company loyalty with "school spirit", and reward the most loyal and involved with worthless prizes. They have set up their system of socialization to reward those who conform to it and work within it, and exclude and punish those who do not conform. Corporations do not want schools to be reformed. The more students fail and struggle with their work, the less they can be paid later when they're herded into the workforce. Corporations need a layer of lower-echelon workers that they can pay less, who are simply desperate for work and money. Corporations do not want minimum wages to rise, because they want the standard of living to remain impossible to keep up with, thus maintaining the loyalty of their lower employees through desperation and debt. If school were meant to prepare you for the future, they would teach you how to manage money, how to use computers, how to find and access information, and would encourage creativity. For the most part, schools do not do this. They don't want you to know how to manage money, they would rather you be in debt, and they don't want you to know how to use computers, because then you would have access to too much information. They cut the drama program, the music program, the art program, the dance program, the chess club, and spend extra money on football. Football teaches some very good skills: athletic drive, goal-oriented mindsets, overcoming adversity, how to become mentality and physically tough, and how to work together as a perfect team - the perfect worker. Schools encourage students to ask questions, but only the right questions. If you ask the wrong questions, you will not get an answer, or will be directed back to the 'correct' way of thinking. Some of the schools require a pledge of allegiance to the United States of America, and demand student memorize a mantra of total loyalty to the system in which they live, a system that has bought up all the elections, a system with a media controlled by the same corporations who manipulate the information and demand conformity, and ostracize discouraged forms behavior. Schools don't teach kids where their money goes when they pay taxes or where their clothes and food comes from. They don't teach kids how capitalism works, how democracy works, how communism works, and how dictatorships work. They only teach that communism is evil and that Stalin was a murderer, and that having better economic equality is akin to communist thinking. They teach that capitalism makes life good, and is the reason life is good, and that if capitalism were ever in jeopardy, the kids would lose all the precious amenities in their lives. They teach that a dictatorship could never come to America, because we are a democracy. And they do this because they must do this; schools are working for corporations now, who are manipulating the system to make themselves richer and richer, so the dictatorship is hidden within the democracy. The autocratic government will not be apparent until after the fact, just like the horrors of the dictatorships that rose to power in the 1930s were a huge question mark until they were dismantled and show for what they were. Yes, there will be dissenters and those who are aware of what is happening, like myself, but who are utterly powerless to do anything. I am playing a card game with a rigged deck, so matter how hard I try, I must eat, pay my bills and buy my clothes, and so ultimately, they will take my money because the system is rigged for my money to be taken. If we were to ever do something drastic, it would require that our nation's children be educated properly, and even if they are, if push comes to shove, in the words of France's Nicolas Sarkozy, "We will blast them off the streets with a power hose (likening the people to grime on the street)".
- Fuck insomnia.
- I DON'T WANT TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES.
- We hate our bread, we hate our butter, but most of all, we hate each other.
- I hate myself sometimes. I look in the mirror and just want to punch it and smash the glass. I always want to be better, smarter, prettier, stronger, more caring, more intelligent, and work harder than anyone has ever worked before. I want to be the most talented, most awesome, most unstoppable human being on the planet who ever fucking lived, and I know I can't even come close, and I realize I don't even try half the time, and that even if I did, that it's futile struggle, because I live in a bucket with a bunch of crabs who can't ever escape, because we just pull each other back down. I don't feel good enough. I let myself down. I do shit that I hate doing and don't know why I'm even doing it. I procrastinate and self-doubt myself to no end, and can blame everything else in the world, and everything that has ever befallen me as an excuse, but I just can't do that. It's all my bad. I'm learning to lose, and learning to fail, and it hurts. It fucking sucks. It feels like I'm trudging knee-deep through giraffe diarrhea to train myself overcome my fear of falling, and for what? Will I come out the other end do something great, or just drown in the giraffe diarrhea and die? I fucking hate that. God really dealt me a strange hand when he made me, so I don't know about anything except that I like being happy. I like people that love me that I love back. I love helping people. I love my family. I love that I'm healthy and alive still. Life can be so beautiful, but it's like a flower garden, and you have to constantly work to keep it beautiful when you know it's gonna die in the winter.
- I fucking hate spiders, fuck them all dead.
In conclusion, FUCK OFF.
that was beautiful
nada was before oov though
|
EPT
