Day[9] Fan Club - Page 171

...and after I'm done with all those exhausting questions, and you have to type blah-blah-blah in profile that people can view to get an idea who you are and... I'm a huge geek; I've got nothing! This is a dating site and I can't be sexy! What I'm gonna say? "Hello, I'm the math major; I'm looking to maximize my babe function?" - FROM DAY[9] STAND-UP

...so I open the little profile and start reading it and it's like: "About me: I'm Martha and I'm passionate about my job as a grocery store casheer" and then after that, it goes: "and I don't care if you think that's weird, thanks for asking". Wow, she also... God, she also almost put one on a defensive question! And if you keep reading it's like: "List your favourite movies" and she's like: "I like all the StarWars movies and I don't care if you didn't like first three, I thought they were great." IS MARTHA OKAY? Martha needs a hug, I worry about Martha! - FROM DAY[9] STAND-UP

Some people put the most random three things... Click on Lindsay's profile and the three things Lindsay can not live without is a jar of mayonnaise, a stopwatch and a Bible. - FROM DAY[9] STAND-UP

...and her smile didn't make sense. Teeth were thrown around really, really... It's like God put a cotton candy wish in her mouth and just threw the teeth thing; wherever they landed, that's where they remain. And, and - I'm not making this up - I saw one ear. (...) I could make it a little more positive by saying she had AT LEAST one ear, but that doesn't really help very much; that kind of stands out. "- Oh hey, Tom, tell me about that girl you met. - Oh, she was great, she had that deep blue eyes, those flowing blonde hair, at least one ear... - Cool... oh, nonono, wait, let's go back to that ear, what did you say?" - FROM DAY[9] STAND-UP

...so before we get pumped up for this match we gotta talk a little bit about why this match is just so unreal. We gotta talk about how it is humanly possible something this kickass could have actually happened. To do so we have to understand what it means to have a penis... on the internet. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

But of course Combat-Ex decides to make an apology video, which had to be one of the worst apologies ever given... maybe? Probably the worst, because it's just a way of ordering things, as a way of going "Hey, you know I know there's a lot of tension going on, but I did the wrong thing." You gotta wrap up by saying that. Combat-Ex, on the other hand, began by saying "hey, I MAY have done the wrong thing, I MAY have transgressed...but let me start off by saying how wrong Teamliquid is", which was a big no-no. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

Phahahaha! Ooohhh, look at the Lings. Nice wall off, man, those lings- man, this isn’t even like an Ultralisk proof wall off, Lings just got to march in there side by side like they were boarding the ark. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

...but we have a Probe… Ohh my God, what is the Probe going to do, is it gonna build a Pylon? Is there gonna be Cannons coming? Cause let me tell you something, my brother is the infamous Tasteless, and if there’s one person who KNOWS how to be gay as fuck with Cannons, it is my brother. I fucking bolt up right in a cold sweat from nightmares: AAAARGH it’s the Cannon! Man I cannot tell you how many times I just bolted up from a nightmare, my brother just making Cannons, and I’m just like “Momma, would you look under my bed to see if there’s any Cannons making?” - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

I was actually trying to think of really good names for energy drinks the other day, something like “School-Shooting” energy drink, you know. But BY FAR the best, most manly name I came up with was "Bear Semen". Isn’t that awesome to have an energy drink called “Bear Semen?" It’s like a mix between caffeine energy supplements and like a protein shake! But yeah man, we need to have a little disclaimer on our "Bear Semen" thing that says, you know, “Contains absolutely no bear semen”, cause we wouldn’t want people thinking our company was just holdin’ a bunch of bears captive, jacking them off all day for our product. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

It looks like Chill’s going to get ready for some ass here, gonna bust out the Mutas and sneak in the back door, not unlike syphilis. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

That really is the worst part about talking shit, is if you fuck up when you’re shit talking, you can’t be like “Oh, what I really meant was this.” You just gotta like run with it. Cause sometimes you’ll be talking shit and you’ll mess up and you’ll be like “Well hey, at least I had sex with my mom!” And then you just gotta be like “You piece of fucking shit!”, you know. You can’t correct yourself, you just gotta keep berating him with more vulgarities. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

So, we have Le plus one upgrade going down, we have the double observatory build… this is really good to get double observatory if you want to get the speed and sight range for the observer simultaneously. It’s a little bit of an advanced tactic, and by advanced I mean really fucking bad. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

We have an army being massed up by Combat-Ex with… with… uhhh… is this BGH? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven! Twelve gateways… being thrown down, which is a standard transition after the two Observatory opening. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

So we have the dark templar- one kill, two kills… he’s, uh, doing some moonwalking... Uhh man, sick dance moves. Psfft, he was a star on the protoss episode “So You Think You Can Dance”… Simon gave him an X, so he flipped out and killed eight drones. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

So this actually SUCKS for Zerg, if, if Protoss manages to get that. That is just the dickest of dicks on the butt; you just do not want to be in that scenario. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

Well, we know how it works with girls in the Starcraft community… like, "Ooh, you’re a girl? You’re really good? Do you want to join TOT and PG? ...Ohhhh wait, you’re actually a man? Oohh, zeeya.” ZEEYA. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

He’s gonna run the Zealots in, sort of- uh- sneaking in with his Zealot Police Force, noting that Chill has left the back door open for the penal system -- if you know what I mean. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

So… ugh, god, that proxy was just like fuckin’ so bad. My grandpa could’ve proxied better, and not only does he have arthritis, he’s also dead. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

If you’re gonna proxy, at least beat the Mutas. AND, at the very least don’t fucking type “I bet you wonder where the tech is”, and then lose. That’s... you just... that’s not something you want to do… ever. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

He's just gonna go kill him. Which again, one of the most important counters to remember in Starcraft, that if your opponent doesn't have enough shit, you just kill him. - FROM CHILL VS COMBAT-EX SHOWMATCH CAST

I think that replay does highlight some weakness to strategies because you can't just rely on that happening (...) If you ask OoOo what his technique was, the answer shouldn't be "Oh, it's easy, you just lose your whole fucking base." "What, how... how do you counter the Reaper strategy, again?" Oh, you just lose your whole fucking base" "And... then, and then, what do you do?" "Oh, at that point you win." "Why?" "Cause you just don't have your fucking base anymore." "Oooh, I'm starting to see the logic." - FROM DAILY #183

I'm so sorry Ben. I know you're probably angry with your mother. You'll probably be like "Mom why didn't you name me Sen? or Wen? or even like number... J. Number... I'm not funny. Go back to the game. Oh shit that failed. Wow was that not funny! Holy shit what happened to that joke! I mean, the gates were, the gates were up, the lights were flashing, but the train just wasn't coming, ok? I knew there was something funny there. I should've been like "Oh ya you could've had an umlaut in my name. That would've been later in the alphabet." But I didn't. I said "the number J". What the fuck! - FROM DAILY #200

And you know what happens then, all of a sudden? HUH? Trumpets! That's right everybody, trumpets! Oh my god, did that take a nosedive! Oh, who cares!? Sure bring the midgets in! Sure why not bring the midgets in!? They dance and juggle, oh! Budududum bum dum ba dum bum! - FROM DAILY #205

Oh my gosh, THE TANK! TARGET FIRE THE TANK AT ALL COST! Oh my God... ANOTHER TANK! Our plan was ruined! I can't... I mean, how horrible would that be? Like seriously, in the final scene "- Oh, shit, there's another Death Star... We sacked so many people and there was... Guys, there's another Death Star (facepalms) Gosh, what... We just... We should've stayed on Tatooine drinking". - FROM DAILY #293

Now I'm curious have you ever done this, cause I've certainly done this way back when I was a little girl and I played 2v2s and when I was like 12 in BroodWar... I would accidently do the correct decision. You know what I mean? Like, I would misclick a Drone to the exact wrong direction that would just hang at the right side of the map and then, I would get contained and be like: "Oh, I can expand with this Drone!". (makes a boss expression) "It's always important to leave a Drone on the right side of the map in the middle of nowhere in case you get contained, cause then you can expand anyways and surprise him with Guardians!" Oh, I felt so clever. - FROM DAILY #293

We have a extended Cannon rush, we have his original Cannon rush, we have the defensive Cannon rush, we have the other offensive Cannon rush, we have the Cannon defense and we have the security Cannons. Just in case... we don't wanna over-emphasize units, no we don't wanna do anything like have too many units when we could just have... Cannons. - FROM DAILY #293

But I love that, like: "- I hope you know what you're doing Frank." "- No, no, no, don't worry about it, I love smoking at gas stations!" You know, there's always that thing when the drama begins to unfold. - FROM DAILY #293

First of all, I'd just like to give myself an extra special compliment on this hairdo, which I didn't realize had dried this way until the camera turned on. I look like I'm totally ready to seduce some forty-something at a club in a hotel... Excellent. And not any sort of like promiscous way, but to try to do some sort of knife-selling scam or something like that. - FROM DAILY #479

Oh, no, he walked right into the front of the ramp and now TheToast... Okay, okay... That's like you're trying to ask a pretty girl on a date and you accidently say her name instead of your name: "Hey, I'm Moni... Sean. And I wanted to Sean you on a Monica... Invite you on a date." ...right heeere when we see TheToast attacking the building... Played off cool, just turned back around, nobody will notice. We noticed. - FROM DAILY #479

You-mot-her-fuck-er. There are few things more viling than the scum of the Earth who say "gg" first and don't realize that's not a nice thing to do. That doesn't happen elsewhere! If you've ever been taking a test and you're like "Uhh"; you're working really hard, it's one of those scantrons and you look over and the person is like just three questions ahead of you and you're like "Oh my God, I'm an idiot, how does he so far... Did I miss something?" You're like skipping ahead, right? Imagine that person turning her test and came down and goes like: "Wow, I guess I'm smarter than you! Hah, tough break, man." How is that OK? - FROM DAILY #479

So, in this movie, it's never that she comes to the realisation there are differences between him and her; instead it's more like he... cheats on her or maybe something more extreme, like he shoots a goat in a head in a peting zoo. - FROM DAILY #482

As a matter of fact, the way breaking up with someone actually feels when you are the dumper is it feels like throwing a kittten into lava. - FROM DAILY #482

In other words, hurting people feels bad, but that's why we have Funday Monday to cheer us up, cause we watch other people get hurt. - FROM DAILY #482

Now, usually, I like to play a game whenever I see someone's new moniker: is this a pharmaceutical product, an ancient historian, or a Pokemon? That is always one of the categories that will be the name of the player. - FROM DAILY #482

This was my owed to the movie "Woman On Top". I don't know if you ever saw this movie; it's about a woman who gets motion sickness all the time so: she has to drive the car, she has to lead in dance and she has to be on top... during intercourse. So, she's dating a douchebag, and I call him a douchebag because the movie begins with this jerk cheating on her. So she leaves him and moves elsewhere, meets another man who's great. And, at the end of the movie, she just gets back with the guy who cheated on her. (Shrugs) That's the movie. That's what this game was like for me. I was watching it and the entire storyline build up on red succeeding: go red, go eXeKruxey, I believe! ...and then, he lost. Replay completed. It's not right. - FROM DAILY #482

(About co-casting with Sean "The Apollo" Clark)
We were casting some... I think it was PvT and, heh, he said: "Wow, he's definitely going for it! He's not gonna pull out at the last second; he's gonna stick it in for the long run!" And I just looked at him and I was like "How did that come out of your mouth??" I actually... There's a button that you can hold to mute the mic out to the stream and I held that down and went "What the fuck Sean?" And he just pulls his headphones off and puts it aside and just laughs like hysterically. - FROM DAILY #482

(On 2v2 game where Terran player 'Stormblessed' fails to help out his ally with scanning):
...but it's still sweet because there are so many Nukes... Scan? Scan? Does he have any Scans? He has some here... and there... and he has some here. What, Stormblessed, SCAN! "Cannon." Cannon? CANNON, is that what you have to say? The two things that you've said all game long are what: run, nyke, I mean this is like a co-pilot that says things like: "HOLY SHIT, THE GROUND!" you know, like grabbed "HELP ME LAND THE PLANE THAT DOESN'T GET..." Uh. "MY ALTIMETERS DETECTING AN EARTH DOWN THERE, QUICKLY, QU... THE... HURRY, HURRY! LOOKOUT!"