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On November 22 2017 05:09 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:02 Sadist wrote:On November 22 2017 04:45 TheYango wrote:On November 22 2017 04:37 Liquid`Drone wrote: But if you consented to sober sex last night and then you super enthusiastically consent to drunken sex tonight, I'm supposed to assume that today you're not for real? I'm not saying you're allowed to rape your wife if she comes home drunk, I'm saying that if you're used to her wanting to have sex and then she comes home drunk and wants to have sex, then why on earth should this consent not apply? The problem is that the legal system can't account for cases like this because it devolves into a he-said, she-said. So the legal system has to err on the side of being too strict and assuming that in the cases where the woman is fine with it, she won't report it. Technically in the case you described, your wife did not consent from a legal perspective, but that also doesn't mean shit if she's fine with it and doesn't report it. A legal system that tries to be "right" all the time gets nowhere. So it has to define functionally useful definitions of consent and then assume that victims and enforcement will work out the details in individual cases. In this case, drawing the line for consent at a point where any amount of cognitive impairment is involved is perfectly fine. This is important because the legal system has the presumptiom of innocence. If its he says she says its harder to prove. This is typically a good thing to avoid convicting innocent people. The problem with what I am seeing regarding sexual assault and more severly rape cases is that victims arent happy with the justice system(and fairly so for a number of reasons) so they take accusations public. This however is potentially worse as the accused doesnt even have the chance to defend themselves and the well has been poisoned. This isnt good for anyone. We now are trying things in the court of public opinion which leads to more confusion and miscommunication. Plansix says consent is obvious. I disagree case in point the past few pages of the thread. Trialing things in public opinion in my opinion makes things worse. To be fair though, a lot of these examples were things like: -But what if you're, like, really really horny? -But what if she's only a little drunk? -What if she would be into it? -Does marriage give automatic consent? These should not be confusions that people are having, especially when the erring on the side of caution is simply "maybe if you don't know, you shouldn't have sex with her at that exact moment". We definitely need better sex education and rape education (and keep-it-in-your-pants-if-you're-not-sure education) programs.
Id say its confusing. Leeann tweeden supposedly gave consent to Franken and that was only for a kiss. He took it too far with the tongue and it may have been potentially pervy behavior but people called for his resignation very quickly in the thread. Now hes wrapped up in a public scandal for something that could have been as innocent as miscommunication.
Edit: also not one person in the thread implied a spouse cannot be raped or always consents. The conversation was much more nuanced than that and specifically was regarding alcohol.
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On November 22 2017 05:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 04:43 JonnyBNoHo wrote:On November 22 2017 04:31 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 04:16 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:04 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 03:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 03:24 Plansix wrote:On November 22 2017 03:19 Sadist wrote:On November 22 2017 03:14 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 03:09 Mohdoo wrote: [quote]
Maybe according to your definition. I remember walking around campus and seeing a poster that said
"IF SHE WAS DRUNK, IT WAS RAPE."
Feminism club went just a weeee bit too far on that one, but whatever. What's wrong with that poster's message? I mean, if the intention is to point out that "she" implies that men can't be raped, sure that's wrong. Also, if both parties are drunk then I don't think that counts as rape either. But if a sober person has sex with a drunk person, it's rape. Drunk people can't consent. So if a sober person has sex with their drunk spouse its rape? Couples are constantly in a state of rape if thats the definition. To be clear we arent talking blackout level here right? Straight up, I would be in some deep shit if I had sex with my wife if she came home super drunk and was trying to go to bed. I dont' understand why anyone would think that was ok. What if she comes home and is like BLRAHARAHHRAGAA HAHA IM SO DRUNK AND HORNY FUCKING FUCK ME NOW? and then she gets naked and enters the lady side of some sex position and goes like WTF ARE YOU SO SLOW I SAID FUCK ME NOW? Basically in this situation she's drunk as fuck and consenting as fuck. I personally think that is perfectly fair game , even if you are sober yourself. (Although if I'm completely sober I wouldn't find the behavior particularly attractive - still would prolly comply, though.) The thing is, that's often the case. Girls, just like guys, can get incredibly horny while incredibly drunk. What the hell? That is soooooo not consent. How is this not consent? If you're literally asking for someone to fuck you then you're clearly consenting to having sex with the person? What if you know for a fact that not having sex is gonna lead to an argument because your wife is gonna be really offended, and being drunk, she won't have any filter and everything she says is gonna come out insane? The state of mind (sobriety) is what takes precedence when deciding consent. As soon as the premise is "She's drunk", the rest is moot. What if she's horny? Doesn't matter. What if she says yes? Doesn't matter. What if she- it can't be consent, period, full stop. Not raping someone is more important than not arguing. That should be obvious. It sounds like the guy needs to have a serious conversation with her about this... when she's sober. No, state of mind is a factor but not the only factor. People have drunk sex all the time with neither party claiming rape afterward. Sure, but not reporting something doesn't make it right or consensual. The point was, there may be nothing to report... 'dear police I had sex last night :D just wanted to share!!'
The standard of drunk = rape, no exceptions, doesn't fit reality.
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United States41985 Posts
If in doubt, play it safe. If you take risks, don't complain too much when the risks backfire.
Al Franken thought he could get away with risking it, despite having plenty of reason to think that she didn't want his tongue in her mouth. And for years he did get away with it. Now he's paying the price. I'm not especially sympathetic.
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On November 22 2017 05:15 Gorsameth wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:04 a_flayer wrote:Have you ever been a long term relationship where you know each others sexual boundaries DarkPlasmaBall? It's not "socially wrong" to have sex with your wife if she's begging for it and you know she's not going to regret having your dick thrust up her sopping wet pussy. Regardless of whether or not she's going to remember it because of intoxication (and said intoxication is making you less eager to consent because its kinda gross to have a drunk bitch like that riding your dick). On November 22 2017 05:03 Gorsameth wrote:On November 22 2017 04:52 a_flayer wrote:On November 22 2017 04:48 Logo wrote:On November 22 2017 04:45 TheYango wrote:On November 22 2017 04:37 Liquid`Drone wrote: But if you consented to sober sex last night and then you super enthusiastically consent to drunken sex tonight, I'm supposed to assume that today you're not for real? I'm not saying you're allowed to rape your wife if she comes home drunk, I'm saying that if you're used to her wanting to have sex and then she comes home drunk and wants to have sex, then why on earth should this consent not apply? The problem is that the legal system can't account for cases like this because it devolves into a he-said, she-said. So the legal system has to err on the side of being too strict and assuming that in the cases where the woman is fine with it, she won't report it. Technically in the case you described, your wife did not consent from a legal perspective, but that also doesn't mean shit if she's fine with it and doesn't report it. I don't get why that's hard for people to hold in their head. It's the same as speeding or many driving rules, most minor speeding infractions go unpunished because no one cares, but when what your doing is seen a risk you get punished. It's arbitrary, but it's hard to write laws the codify 100% of edge cases so we settle for something broad enough that can be applied when needed. Yeah, but that's no reason for society to actively promote and uniformly stand behind the most extreme interpretation of the law in a simple meme (drunk = rape) outside the courtroom where things are more nuanced. Which then quickly devolves into people essentially calling Liquid`Drone (and others) a rapist for acknowledging there are cases where that simplistic meme does not apply. That's basically Russian propaganda. Because "be careful when someone is drunk because they might be drunk enough to not give consent and regret the act upon waking up and then your in trouble if they decide to push charges" doesn't really fit on a poster. Yep, and thus pointing this out in a forum where you have more text shouldn't cause the kind of backlash that it appears to do. But that's exactly what we witnessed just now because people buy into the meme and take it absolutely literally. The situation with spouses/partners was repeatedly addressed. If you know its fine then its fine. Doesn't stop it technically/legally being the thing but that's ok because the other person is ok with it. The moment that other person is not ok with it your in trouble and its good to be aware of that. To add another anecdote that I remember for some reason. A couple was into strangle sex, and the man would often have sex with the women while she was unconscious. Both were completely ok with it. Until the one time where he decided to use the backdoor. She wakes up with a sore ass, finds out what happens and pressed charges and the guy gets convicted of rape. Everything is fine until the one time it isn't. If I was a lawyer maybe I could have an argument whether I think that should be rape or sexual assault, or harassment or whatever other definitions are possible in the realm of sex-related crimes. At any rate, I don't think I would agree that he should be put in jail or on a list for that. Assuming that's something that actually happened rather than some made-up thing. I honestly think that one could've been resolved between the two people without a judge convicting him of rape. Just scold him and break up with him, for crying out loud. I would say it definitely counts as "socially wrong" to buttsex someone without explicit consent, but a rape conviction seems out of bounds to me considering the circumstances.
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On November 22 2017 05:24 KwarK wrote: If in doubt, play it safe. If you take risks, don't complain too much when the risks backfire.
Al Franken thought he could get away with risking it, despite having plenty of reason to think that she didn't want his tongue in her mouth. And for years he did get away with it. Now he's paying the price. I'm not especially sympathetic.
So he frenched a woman he should lose the senate seat? After she consented to a kiss? It should be frowned upon definitely but this is way overblown if we just go by her account. This is nothing like the other cases out there.
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United States41985 Posts
On November 22 2017 05:28 Sadist wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:24 KwarK wrote: If in doubt, play it safe. If you take risks, don't complain too much when the risks backfire.
Al Franken thought he could get away with risking it, despite having plenty of reason to think that she didn't want his tongue in her mouth. And for years he did get away with it. Now he's paying the price. I'm not especially sympathetic. So he frenched a woman he should lose the senate seat? After she consented to a kiss? It should be frowned upon definitely but this is way overblown if we just go by her account. This is nothing like the other cases out there. You're saying that like the senate seat is some kind of trophy we're taking away from him that he earned. It's not, it's a job representing people. He shouldn't lose his senate seat as a punishment, he should lose it because we can find someone better than the man he has shown himself to be.
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These consent discussions are always weird.
It seems that quite often a bunch of men want to figure out what the minimum necessary consent is. Don't go for minimum consent. Go for enough consent. If you are unclear about whether consent has occured or not, don't have sex. You might miss out on a few lays, but you also feel better because you know that you are not a dirtbag.
Sex isn't that important that you must obtain it at any cost. Don't get me wrong, sex is really nice. But it is not worth it feeling shit about yourself afterwards if she wasn't into it.
All of this is completely ignoring the legal side of things. If you are certain about consent, legal doesn't even become a problem.
Legal stuff only ever becomes relevant if you fucked up on the certainty and the other person presses charges with the police. But the thing that should make you not want to have problems with consent is not the legality, but your own ethics. Have enough self respect to not value sex over your own personal integrity, and the question of what is legal or not is never relevant.
And if having sex with a person that is not really consenting isn't a problem for you from a personal point of view, you are disgusting.
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On November 22 2017 03:26 NewSunshine wrote:Show nested quote +Federal regulators unveiled a plan Tuesday that would give Internet providers broad powers to determine what websites and online services their customers can see and use, and at what cost.
The move sets the stage for a crucial vote next month at the Federal Communications Commission that could reshape the entire digital ecosystem. The FCC’s Republican chairman, Ajit Pai, has made undoing the government's net neutrality rules one of his top priorities, and Tuesday's move hands a win to broadband companies such as AT&T, Verizon and Comcast.
Pai is taking aim at regulations that were approved two years ago under a Democratic presidency and that sought to make sure all Internet content, whether from big or small companies, would be treated equally by Internet providers.
In a news release, Pai said his proposal would prevent the government from "micromanaging the Internet." Under the new rules, he said, the FCC would "simply require Internet service providers to be transparent about their practices."
The proposal would also shift some enforcement responsibility to the Federal Trade Commission, which can sue companies for violating the commitments or statements they have made to the public.
Relying more heavily on Internet providers' own promises on net neutrality is a departure from the current rules, which lay out clear, federal bans against selectively blocking or slowing websites, as well as speeding up websites that agree to pay the providers a fee.
Lifting the rules will allow Internet providers to experiment with new ways of making money. In recent years, some broadband companies such as AT&T have tried offering discounts on Internet service to Americans so long as they agree to let the company monitor their Web browsing history, for example. Other companies such Verizon have exempted their own proprietary apps from mobile data caps, in a bid to drive user engagement. The practice, known as zero-rating, was criticized by the prior FCC as a potential violation of net neutrality principles, but Pai rescinded his predecessor's findings upon taking office.
Internet providers welcomed Tuesday's FCC announcement. "We’re very encouraged by Chairman Pai’s announcement today that the FCC will move forward next month to restore the successful light-touch regulatory framework for Internet services," Verizon said in a statement.
Some analysts said that the FCC proposal was appropriate and that there is no economic evidence for regulatory intervention.
"In the absence of a market failure, the constitution doesn’t permit the FCC to treat the information superhighway … like a public utility," said Fred Campbell, director of the think tank Tech Knowledge.
The FCC's proposal is largely opposed by Internet companies such as Google, which said Tuesday that the net neutrality rules help protect an open Internet.
"The FCC’s net neutrality rules are working well for consumers, and we’re disappointed in the proposal released today," Google said in a statement.
Former Democratic FCC chairman Tom Wheeler, who drafted the 2015 net neutrality rules and rammed them through despite Republican opposition, called Tuesday's move "tragic."
"The job of the FCC is to represent the consumer," he said in an interview. "Tragically, this decision is only for the benefit of the largely monopoly services that deliver the Internet to the consumer."
Allowing the FTC to police broadband providers’ own promises is tantamount to providing “toothless protections,” according to consumer advocates.
Matt Wood, policy director for the advocacy group Free Press, likened the proposed system to the way that many companies design their privacy policies.
“You need only look to how privacy policies from websites allow essentially any and all bad behavior,” Wood said, “so long as it is disclosed to users.”
Maureen Ohlhausen, the acting chairman of the FTC, has said that the agency's expertise in data security and privacy issues will make it a powerful defender of U.S. consumers.
"The FTC stands ready to protect broadband subscribers from anticompetitive, unfair, or deceptive acts and practices just as we protect consumers in the rest of the Internet ecosystem,” Ohlhausen said in a statement Tuesday.
The FCC's proposal brings additional pressure on Capitol Hill, where some lawmakers have called for federal legislation that would supersede any FCC rules. On Tuesday, Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) praised Pai's effort but renewed his call for a bipartisan compromise on net neutrality, saying it was the only way to "create long-term certainty for the Internet ecosystem."
Congressional Democrats have resisted working with Republicans on a net neutrality bill, believing that Pai's proposal is unlikely to survive an expected court challenge from supporters of the 2015 rules. A Democratic aide said Tuesday that "there might be room for [a] conversation" if Republicans were willing to enshrine the current rules into legislation, but that position is likely to be a nonstarter for GOP critics, who argued that the rules imposed unreasonable costs on businesses. SourceNet neutrality comes under attack once again. Unless their minds are changed, the Republican-majority commission will be able to pass the proposal, transforming net neutrality from a codified law into a mere honor system. Effectively no system at all. What law?
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On November 22 2017 05:35 KwarK wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:28 Sadist wrote:On November 22 2017 05:24 KwarK wrote: If in doubt, play it safe. If you take risks, don't complain too much when the risks backfire.
Al Franken thought he could get away with risking it, despite having plenty of reason to think that she didn't want his tongue in her mouth. And for years he did get away with it. Now he's paying the price. I'm not especially sympathetic. So he frenched a woman he should lose the senate seat? After she consented to a kiss? It should be frowned upon definitely but this is way overblown if we just go by her account. This is nothing like the other cases out there. You're saying that like the senate seat is some kind of trophy we're taking away from him that he earned. It's not, it's a job representing people. He shouldn't lose his senate seat as a punishment, he should lose it because we can find someone better than the man he has shown himself to be.
If someone being scummy at any point in their life is a disqualifier then no we cant.
He ran for election and won. If he does lose his seat that IS a punishment.
If there is a recall election then you are correct. Short of that, for this level of infraction its ridiculous.
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On November 22 2017 05:21 JonnyBNoHo wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 04:43 JonnyBNoHo wrote:On November 22 2017 04:31 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 04:16 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:04 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 03:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 03:24 Plansix wrote:On November 22 2017 03:19 Sadist wrote:On November 22 2017 03:14 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: [quote]
What's wrong with that poster's message? I mean, if the intention is to point out that "she" implies that men can't be raped, sure that's wrong. Also, if both parties are drunk then I don't think that counts as rape either. But if a sober person has sex with a drunk person, it's rape. Drunk people can't consent. So if a sober person has sex with their drunk spouse its rape? Couples are constantly in a state of rape if thats the definition. To be clear we arent talking blackout level here right? Straight up, I would be in some deep shit if I had sex with my wife if she came home super drunk and was trying to go to bed. I dont' understand why anyone would think that was ok. What if she comes home and is like BLRAHARAHHRAGAA HAHA IM SO DRUNK AND HORNY FUCKING FUCK ME NOW? and then she gets naked and enters the lady side of some sex position and goes like WTF ARE YOU SO SLOW I SAID FUCK ME NOW? Basically in this situation she's drunk as fuck and consenting as fuck. I personally think that is perfectly fair game , even if you are sober yourself. (Although if I'm completely sober I wouldn't find the behavior particularly attractive - still would prolly comply, though.) The thing is, that's often the case. Girls, just like guys, can get incredibly horny while incredibly drunk. What the hell? That is soooooo not consent. How is this not consent? If you're literally asking for someone to fuck you then you're clearly consenting to having sex with the person? What if you know for a fact that not having sex is gonna lead to an argument because your wife is gonna be really offended, and being drunk, she won't have any filter and everything she says is gonna come out insane? The state of mind (sobriety) is what takes precedence when deciding consent. As soon as the premise is "She's drunk", the rest is moot. What if she's horny? Doesn't matter. What if she says yes? Doesn't matter. What if she- it can't be consent, period, full stop. Not raping someone is more important than not arguing. That should be obvious. It sounds like the guy needs to have a serious conversation with her about this... when she's sober. No, state of mind is a factor but not the only factor. People have drunk sex all the time with neither party claiming rape afterward. Sure, but not reporting something doesn't make it right or consensual. The point was, there may be nothing to report... 'dear police I had sex last night :D just wanted to share!!' The standard of drunk = rape, no exceptions, doesn't fit reality. Explicit verbal consent or it’s rape. Gorsameth’s “technically yes” couples having sex regularly rape each other “but your spouse is unlike to mind.”
People that think the new affirmative consent rules are obvious need to wake the fuck up.
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It always strikes me how interactions with women always appear harder when discussed by dudes on forums than they are to me in real life despite me being the (second, to be fair) biggest asocial nerd I know by a country mile.
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On November 22 2017 05:40 Danglars wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:21 JonnyBNoHo wrote:On November 22 2017 05:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 04:43 JonnyBNoHo wrote:On November 22 2017 04:31 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 04:16 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:04 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 22 2017 03:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 03:24 Plansix wrote:On November 22 2017 03:19 Sadist wrote: [quote]
So if a sober person has sex with their drunk spouse its rape? Couples are constantly in a state of rape if thats the definition.
To be clear we arent talking blackout level here right?
Straight up, I would be in some deep shit if I had sex with my wife if she came home super drunk and was trying to go to bed. I dont' understand why anyone would think that was ok. What if she comes home and is like BLRAHARAHHRAGAA HAHA IM SO DRUNK AND HORNY FUCKING FUCK ME NOW? and then she gets naked and enters the lady side of some sex position and goes like WTF ARE YOU SO SLOW I SAID FUCK ME NOW? Basically in this situation she's drunk as fuck and consenting as fuck. I personally think that is perfectly fair game , even if you are sober yourself. (Although if I'm completely sober I wouldn't find the behavior particularly attractive - still would prolly comply, though.) The thing is, that's often the case. Girls, just like guys, can get incredibly horny while incredibly drunk. What the hell? That is soooooo not consent. How is this not consent? If you're literally asking for someone to fuck you then you're clearly consenting to having sex with the person? What if you know for a fact that not having sex is gonna lead to an argument because your wife is gonna be really offended, and being drunk, she won't have any filter and everything she says is gonna come out insane? The state of mind (sobriety) is what takes precedence when deciding consent. As soon as the premise is "She's drunk", the rest is moot. What if she's horny? Doesn't matter. What if she says yes? Doesn't matter. What if she- it can't be consent, period, full stop. Not raping someone is more important than not arguing. That should be obvious. It sounds like the guy needs to have a serious conversation with her about this... when she's sober. No, state of mind is a factor but not the only factor. People have drunk sex all the time with neither party claiming rape afterward. Sure, but not reporting something doesn't make it right or consensual. The point was, there may be nothing to report... 'dear police I had sex last night :D just wanted to share!!' The standard of drunk = rape, no exceptions, doesn't fit reality. Explicit verbal consent or it’s rape. Gorsameth’s “technically yes” couples having sex regularly rape each other “but your spouse is unlike to mind.” People that think the new affirmative consent rules are obvious need to wake the fuck up.
The thing is, "technically rape" is not a problem unless anyone actually feels like they have been raped. "Technically rape" only becomes a problem when someone goes to the police. So avoid it unless you are absolutely certain the other person is okay with it.
You have to distinguish between "legally rape" and "someone feels raped". You only have a problem with the law if you are in the intersection of both of these groups.
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lol Trump essentially saying that Moore's accusers are shit right now. I mean, the Republican Party pretty much believes Moore's accusers because you don't get banned from a mall for being a creep if you aren't a creep.
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Norway28558 Posts
On November 22 2017 04:48 KwarK wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 04:34 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:28 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:18 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: Likewise, if a girl actively consents (just to be really clear, I am by no means including 'didn't say no audibly enough because she was drunk, but I'm including the 'come on LETS FUCK'), which drunk girls totally do, then no way does it qualify as rape, even if the girl totally regrets it afterwards and would not normally have had sex with that particular guy. This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p What in the literal fuck eri. Stop raping people and then saying that it's their fault for getting horny drunk. You have a responsibility for your own involvement in sex beyond making sure you have an excuse and can get away with it in the morning. If you've obtained wasted consent but you're uncertain whether or not you would have been unable to get sober consent then the correct course of action is not "yeah, but nobody can prove whether or not I'd have had sober consent so technically it's her fault that we had this sex she didn't want to have". Seriously. Rethink your moral framework. That's fucked up. Literally 0 of this applies to sex that I myself have had. You trying to think this is behavior I'm projecting because I've been in 'that guy's position' is completely misplaced. I've had drunk girls be hysterically angry at me for not having had sex with them though. Like honestly, fuck off, you making this assumption towards me is way, way out of line. It still results from an incredibly fucked up moral framework. I'm fine with "if you make a sober decision to get drunk knowing that you'll probably drive while drunk then you made a sober decision to take that risk". Likewise if you make a sober decision to get drunk then sure, there's accountability there. Where you lose me is where you think it becomes morally okay for another person to take advantage of this because can use the above logic as an excuse to pin the blame for it on the victim. If what you're doing is harming another individual, and let's be very clear here, if the girl wakes up with fragments of memories from the blackout and feels like she's been raped then there has been harm, and then saying "technically you caused all this when you decided to get drunk", you're a sociopath. If your standard for moral behavior is technically having an excuse about how it's really their fault that they got raped, you're a sociopath. Apparently you don't do that, good for you. But you're fine with it. You defended it. If the girl is drunkenly inviting you to have sex with her then yes, she has a responsibility for her choice to get drunk. But that does not absolve you of your responsibility to say "no". You pull out one sentence of three posts I make and disregard every qualifier I made in that post and the other posts to justify calling me a rapist. I most certainly specified that being sober and looking for drunk girls is really scummy behavior. I am not morally absolving guys who do this. I am totally morally absolving guys who themselves are drunk, just 'slightly less drunk than the girl was', because I don't see how they deserve more blame for getting drunk than the girl did, when both of them wanted to have sex at the time. I also specified, at least twice, that I talk about active consent, not 'is obviously blackout drunk' - but being someone who has been really really drunk on many occasions (this is not a source of pride, but important for the discussion) I know that the line between 'I fully remember everything and feel amazingly in control of the situation' and 'I don't remember anything I did at all' is really easy to pass and often impossible for other people to understand whether you've crossed or not. Okay, I'll try and explain this in simple terms. Let's say you're a recovering meth addict. We're out together and you're pretty fucking drunk and I offer you meth, which you happily accept stating that you fucking love meth. Sure, you consented. And sure, although you were drunk at the time you ought to have been aware that relapsing was a risk before you got drunk. Plenty of ways that we can pin this on the meth addict and say that they're not a victim and that really it's their fault. That doesn't in any way change the fact that you only relapsed because I made a deliberate choice to cause it. That doesn't in any way reduce the moral accountability I have for the subsequent fallout. I might have an excuse that I can tell people for how it's totally not my fault, but it wouldn't have happened without me. One person having a share of responsibility does not absolve all others. The victim having partial responsibility does not make them no longer a victim. Which is exactly what you argued it did when you said "This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p" If the girl wakes up feeling like she got raped and deals with all the same trauma that other rape victims do then you denying her victim status is just a way of getting what you did to be okay with Jesus. It doesn't change shit about the impact your choice had on her. You've still made her a victim, all you're doing is pinning it on her to make yourself feel better. Furthermore, it's totally victim blaming. You're shifting the burden of your own participation onto the other party, insisting that you couldn't possibly have known better than to participate if they drunkenly asked you to. The smiley was a particularly tasteless touch too. Honestly, if you really believe with the argument you made about drunk girls not being victims you should feel pretty bad about the person you choose to be.
How is sex the same as meth, dude. Guys don't fucking go around thinking 'oh man, she'll totally regret having sex with me when she wakes up', they go 'oh man, awesome'. I'm not talking about girls who wake up being semi-raped, I'm saying that if a girl had drunken sex, this does not mean she was raped, even if she later on regrets it.
You seem to think that I'm talking about sober guys picking up blackout drunk guys and having sex with them despite me explicitly stating that this is not what I mean and that at least is kind of rape, and then you present me with your regular counter-that argument. I'm talking about the 'both guy and girl are drunk, club is closing, they both want to go home with someone because being drunk makes them both horny.' Sure the girl is slightly more drunk than the guy is, and she might not normally want to have sex with that particular guy, but you can't expect the drunk guy to go like 'hm, wait, this girl is somewhat out of my league of what I can ordinary get laid from, she must be too drunk to consent otherwise she wouldn't go home with me'. I don't think the girl is a victim in this case, even if she regrets it, just like I don't think the guy who dropped his cellphone in the toilet or told his boss that he's an idiot is a victim. I mean technically you can say they're all victims of alcohol abuse, but not sexual.
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On November 22 2017 05:50 doomdonker wrote: lol Trump essentially saying that Moore's accusers are shit right now. I mean, the Republican Party pretty much believes Moore's accusers because you don't get banned from a mall for being a creep if you aren't a creep.
Yeah, the whole mall thing is, as funny as it sounds, kinda the nail in the coffin. Especially given his position, the entire idea of finally being banned from a mall is pretty striking. What kinda trouble does someone need to go through to get that creep kicked out? This was clearly a very common occurrence.
The worst part is, you can totally tell he sees nothing wrong with it.
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On November 22 2017 05:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 04:48 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:34 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:28 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:18 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: Likewise, if a girl actively consents (just to be really clear, I am by no means including 'didn't say no audibly enough because she was drunk, but I'm including the 'come on LETS FUCK'), which drunk girls totally do, then no way does it qualify as rape, even if the girl totally regrets it afterwards and would not normally have had sex with that particular guy. This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p What in the literal fuck eri. Stop raping people and then saying that it's their fault for getting horny drunk. You have a responsibility for your own involvement in sex beyond making sure you have an excuse and can get away with it in the morning. If you've obtained wasted consent but you're uncertain whether or not you would have been unable to get sober consent then the correct course of action is not "yeah, but nobody can prove whether or not I'd have had sober consent so technically it's her fault that we had this sex she didn't want to have". Seriously. Rethink your moral framework. That's fucked up. Literally 0 of this applies to sex that I myself have had. You trying to think this is behavior I'm projecting because I've been in 'that guy's position' is completely misplaced. I've had drunk girls be hysterically angry at me for not having had sex with them though. Like honestly, fuck off, you making this assumption towards me is way, way out of line. It still results from an incredibly fucked up moral framework. I'm fine with "if you make a sober decision to get drunk knowing that you'll probably drive while drunk then you made a sober decision to take that risk". Likewise if you make a sober decision to get drunk then sure, there's accountability there. Where you lose me is where you think it becomes morally okay for another person to take advantage of this because can use the above logic as an excuse to pin the blame for it on the victim. If what you're doing is harming another individual, and let's be very clear here, if the girl wakes up with fragments of memories from the blackout and feels like she's been raped then there has been harm, and then saying "technically you caused all this when you decided to get drunk", you're a sociopath. If your standard for moral behavior is technically having an excuse about how it's really their fault that they got raped, you're a sociopath. Apparently you don't do that, good for you. But you're fine with it. You defended it. If the girl is drunkenly inviting you to have sex with her then yes, she has a responsibility for her choice to get drunk. But that does not absolve you of your responsibility to say "no". You pull out one sentence of three posts I make and disregard every qualifier I made in that post and the other posts to justify calling me a rapist. I most certainly specified that being sober and looking for drunk girls is really scummy behavior. I am not morally absolving guys who do this. I am totally morally absolving guys who themselves are drunk, just 'slightly less drunk than the girl was', because I don't see how they deserve more blame for getting drunk than the girl did, when both of them wanted to have sex at the time. I also specified, at least twice, that I talk about active consent, not 'is obviously blackout drunk' - but being someone who has been really really drunk on many occasions (this is not a source of pride, but important for the discussion) I know that the line between 'I fully remember everything and feel amazingly in control of the situation' and 'I don't remember anything I did at all' is really easy to pass and often impossible for other people to understand whether you've crossed or not. Okay, I'll try and explain this in simple terms. Let's say you're a recovering meth addict. We're out together and you're pretty fucking drunk and I offer you meth, which you happily accept stating that you fucking love meth. Sure, you consented. And sure, although you were drunk at the time you ought to have been aware that relapsing was a risk before you got drunk. Plenty of ways that we can pin this on the meth addict and say that they're not a victim and that really it's their fault. That doesn't in any way change the fact that you only relapsed because I made a deliberate choice to cause it. That doesn't in any way reduce the moral accountability I have for the subsequent fallout. I might have an excuse that I can tell people for how it's totally not my fault, but it wouldn't have happened without me. One person having a share of responsibility does not absolve all others. The victim having partial responsibility does not make them no longer a victim. Which is exactly what you argued it did when you said "This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p" If the girl wakes up feeling like she got raped and deals with all the same trauma that other rape victims do then you denying her victim status is just a way of getting what you did to be okay with Jesus. It doesn't change shit about the impact your choice had on her. You've still made her a victim, all you're doing is pinning it on her to make yourself feel better. Furthermore, it's totally victim blaming. You're shifting the burden of your own participation onto the other party, insisting that you couldn't possibly have known better than to participate if they drunkenly asked you to. The smiley was a particularly tasteless touch too. Honestly, if you really believe with the argument you made about drunk girls not being victims you should feel pretty bad about the person you choose to be. How is sex the same as meth, dude. Guys don't fucking go around thinking 'oh man, she'll totally regret having sex with me when she wakes up', they go 'oh man, awesome'. I'm not talking about girls who wake up being semi-raped, I'm saying that if a girl had drunken sex, this does not mean she was raped, even if she later on regrets it. You seem to think that I'm talking about sober guys picking up blackout drunk guys and having sex with them despite me explicitly stating that this is not what I mean and that at least is kind of rape, and then you present me with your regular counter-that argument. I'm talking about the 'both guy and girl are drunk, club is closing, they both want to go home with someone because being drunk makes them both horny.' Sure the girl is slightly more drunk than the guy is, and she might not normally want to have sex with that particular guy, but you can't expect the drunk guy to go like 'hm, wait, this girl is somewhat out of my league of what I can ordinary get laid from, she must be too drunk to consent otherwise she wouldn't go home with me'. I don't think the girl is a victim in this case, even if she regrets it, just like I don't think the guy who dropped his cellphone in the toilet or told his boss that he's an idiot is a victim. I mean technically you can say they're all victims of alcohol abuse, but not sexual. This is a problem of social attitudes toward men being taking advantage of, more than anything else.
Like, if you were drunk and a woman took advantage of you, and you woke up next morning to find that you cheated on your wife, I'm sure you would want to claim the legitimate position of "it's not my fault, someone took advantage of me while I was drunk off my ass".
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On November 22 2017 05:55 Mohdoo wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:50 doomdonker wrote: lol Trump essentially saying that Moore's accusers are shit right now. I mean, the Republican Party pretty much believes Moore's accusers because you don't get banned from a mall for being a creep if you aren't a creep. Yeah, the whole mall thing is, as funny as it sounds, kinda the nail in the coffin. Especially given his position, the entire idea of finally being banned from a mall is pretty striking. What kinda trouble does someone need to go through to get that creep kicked out? This was clearly a very common occurrence. The worst part is, you can totally tell he sees nothing wrong with it.
Neither does the White House/Trump... Whatever that's worth these days.
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On November 22 2017 05:38 Sadist wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:35 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 05:28 Sadist wrote:On November 22 2017 05:24 KwarK wrote: If in doubt, play it safe. If you take risks, don't complain too much when the risks backfire.
Al Franken thought he could get away with risking it, despite having plenty of reason to think that she didn't want his tongue in her mouth. And for years he did get away with it. Now he's paying the price. I'm not especially sympathetic. So he frenched a woman he should lose the senate seat? After she consented to a kiss? It should be frowned upon definitely but this is way overblown if we just go by her account. This is nothing like the other cases out there. You're saying that like the senate seat is some kind of trophy we're taking away from him that he earned. It's not, it's a job representing people. He shouldn't lose his senate seat as a punishment, he should lose it because we can find someone better than the man he has shown himself to be. If someone being scummy at any point in their life is a disqualifier then no we cant. He ran for election and won. If he does lose his seat that IS a punishment. If there is a recall election then you are correct. Short of that, for this level of infraction its ridiculous.
After some reading looks like you cant recall at the federal level. And knowing is half the battle.
Still dont think he should resign unless further things come out.
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On November 22 2017 05:56 WolfintheSheep wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:48 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:34 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:28 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:18 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: Likewise, if a girl actively consents (just to be really clear, I am by no means including 'didn't say no audibly enough because she was drunk, but I'm including the 'come on LETS FUCK'), which drunk girls totally do, then no way does it qualify as rape, even if the girl totally regrets it afterwards and would not normally have had sex with that particular guy. This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p What in the literal fuck eri. Stop raping people and then saying that it's their fault for getting horny drunk. You have a responsibility for your own involvement in sex beyond making sure you have an excuse and can get away with it in the morning. If you've obtained wasted consent but you're uncertain whether or not you would have been unable to get sober consent then the correct course of action is not "yeah, but nobody can prove whether or not I'd have had sober consent so technically it's her fault that we had this sex she didn't want to have". Seriously. Rethink your moral framework. That's fucked up. Literally 0 of this applies to sex that I myself have had. You trying to think this is behavior I'm projecting because I've been in 'that guy's position' is completely misplaced. I've had drunk girls be hysterically angry at me for not having had sex with them though. Like honestly, fuck off, you making this assumption towards me is way, way out of line. It still results from an incredibly fucked up moral framework. I'm fine with "if you make a sober decision to get drunk knowing that you'll probably drive while drunk then you made a sober decision to take that risk". Likewise if you make a sober decision to get drunk then sure, there's accountability there. Where you lose me is where you think it becomes morally okay for another person to take advantage of this because can use the above logic as an excuse to pin the blame for it on the victim. If what you're doing is harming another individual, and let's be very clear here, if the girl wakes up with fragments of memories from the blackout and feels like she's been raped then there has been harm, and then saying "technically you caused all this when you decided to get drunk", you're a sociopath. If your standard for moral behavior is technically having an excuse about how it's really their fault that they got raped, you're a sociopath. Apparently you don't do that, good for you. But you're fine with it. You defended it. If the girl is drunkenly inviting you to have sex with her then yes, she has a responsibility for her choice to get drunk. But that does not absolve you of your responsibility to say "no". You pull out one sentence of three posts I make and disregard every qualifier I made in that post and the other posts to justify calling me a rapist. I most certainly specified that being sober and looking for drunk girls is really scummy behavior. I am not morally absolving guys who do this. I am totally morally absolving guys who themselves are drunk, just 'slightly less drunk than the girl was', because I don't see how they deserve more blame for getting drunk than the girl did, when both of them wanted to have sex at the time. I also specified, at least twice, that I talk about active consent, not 'is obviously blackout drunk' - but being someone who has been really really drunk on many occasions (this is not a source of pride, but important for the discussion) I know that the line between 'I fully remember everything and feel amazingly in control of the situation' and 'I don't remember anything I did at all' is really easy to pass and often impossible for other people to understand whether you've crossed or not. Okay, I'll try and explain this in simple terms. Let's say you're a recovering meth addict. We're out together and you're pretty fucking drunk and I offer you meth, which you happily accept stating that you fucking love meth. Sure, you consented. And sure, although you were drunk at the time you ought to have been aware that relapsing was a risk before you got drunk. Plenty of ways that we can pin this on the meth addict and say that they're not a victim and that really it's their fault. That doesn't in any way change the fact that you only relapsed because I made a deliberate choice to cause it. That doesn't in any way reduce the moral accountability I have for the subsequent fallout. I might have an excuse that I can tell people for how it's totally not my fault, but it wouldn't have happened without me. One person having a share of responsibility does not absolve all others. The victim having partial responsibility does not make them no longer a victim. Which is exactly what you argued it did when you said "This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p" If the girl wakes up feeling like she got raped and deals with all the same trauma that other rape victims do then you denying her victim status is just a way of getting what you did to be okay with Jesus. It doesn't change shit about the impact your choice had on her. You've still made her a victim, all you're doing is pinning it on her to make yourself feel better. Furthermore, it's totally victim blaming. You're shifting the burden of your own participation onto the other party, insisting that you couldn't possibly have known better than to participate if they drunkenly asked you to. The smiley was a particularly tasteless touch too. Honestly, if you really believe with the argument you made about drunk girls not being victims you should feel pretty bad about the person you choose to be. How is sex the same as meth, dude. Guys don't fucking go around thinking 'oh man, she'll totally regret having sex with me when she wakes up', they go 'oh man, awesome'. I'm not talking about girls who wake up being semi-raped, I'm saying that if a girl had drunken sex, this does not mean she was raped, even if she later on regrets it. You seem to think that I'm talking about sober guys picking up blackout drunk guys and having sex with them despite me explicitly stating that this is not what I mean and that at least is kind of rape, and then you present me with your regular counter-that argument. I'm talking about the 'both guy and girl are drunk, club is closing, they both want to go home with someone because being drunk makes them both horny.' Sure the girl is slightly more drunk than the guy is, and she might not normally want to have sex with that particular guy, but you can't expect the drunk guy to go like 'hm, wait, this girl is somewhat out of my league of what I can ordinary get laid from, she must be too drunk to consent otherwise she wouldn't go home with me'. I don't think the girl is a victim in this case, even if she regrets it, just like I don't think the guy who dropped his cellphone in the toilet or told his boss that he's an idiot is a victim. I mean technically you can say they're all victims of alcohol abuse, but not sexual. This is a problem of social attitudes toward men being taking advantage of, more than anything else. Like, if you were drunk and a woman took advantage of you, and you woke up next morning to find that you cheated on your wife, I'm sure you would want to claim the legitimate position of "it's not my fault, someone took advantage of me while I was drunk off my ass".
The first thing we all learn about alcohol is that it does not exempt you from your actions. If you cheated on your wife while drunk, you cheated on your wife and have no excuses. It is not a legitimate excuse!
The same goes for girls who have sex with guys where both are drunk. It's not an excuse, and you are yourself responsible for your own actions.
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On November 22 2017 06:00 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2017 05:56 WolfintheSheep wrote:On November 22 2017 05:51 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:48 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:34 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:28 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:On November 22 2017 04:18 KwarK wrote:On November 22 2017 04:12 Liquid`Drone wrote: Likewise, if a girl actively consents (just to be really clear, I am by no means including 'didn't say no audibly enough because she was drunk, but I'm including the 'come on LETS FUCK'), which drunk girls totally do, then no way does it qualify as rape, even if the girl totally regrets it afterwards and would not normally have had sex with that particular guy. This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p What in the literal fuck eri. Stop raping people and then saying that it's their fault for getting horny drunk. You have a responsibility for your own involvement in sex beyond making sure you have an excuse and can get away with it in the morning. If you've obtained wasted consent but you're uncertain whether or not you would have been unable to get sober consent then the correct course of action is not "yeah, but nobody can prove whether or not I'd have had sober consent so technically it's her fault that we had this sex she didn't want to have". Seriously. Rethink your moral framework. That's fucked up. Literally 0 of this applies to sex that I myself have had. You trying to think this is behavior I'm projecting because I've been in 'that guy's position' is completely misplaced. I've had drunk girls be hysterically angry at me for not having had sex with them though. Like honestly, fuck off, you making this assumption towards me is way, way out of line. It still results from an incredibly fucked up moral framework. I'm fine with "if you make a sober decision to get drunk knowing that you'll probably drive while drunk then you made a sober decision to take that risk". Likewise if you make a sober decision to get drunk then sure, there's accountability there. Where you lose me is where you think it becomes morally okay for another person to take advantage of this because can use the above logic as an excuse to pin the blame for it on the victim. If what you're doing is harming another individual, and let's be very clear here, if the girl wakes up with fragments of memories from the blackout and feels like she's been raped then there has been harm, and then saying "technically you caused all this when you decided to get drunk", you're a sociopath. If your standard for moral behavior is technically having an excuse about how it's really their fault that they got raped, you're a sociopath. Apparently you don't do that, good for you. But you're fine with it. You defended it. If the girl is drunkenly inviting you to have sex with her then yes, she has a responsibility for her choice to get drunk. But that does not absolve you of your responsibility to say "no". You pull out one sentence of three posts I make and disregard every qualifier I made in that post and the other posts to justify calling me a rapist. I most certainly specified that being sober and looking for drunk girls is really scummy behavior. I am not morally absolving guys who do this. I am totally morally absolving guys who themselves are drunk, just 'slightly less drunk than the girl was', because I don't see how they deserve more blame for getting drunk than the girl did, when both of them wanted to have sex at the time. I also specified, at least twice, that I talk about active consent, not 'is obviously blackout drunk' - but being someone who has been really really drunk on many occasions (this is not a source of pride, but important for the discussion) I know that the line between 'I fully remember everything and feel amazingly in control of the situation' and 'I don't remember anything I did at all' is really easy to pass and often impossible for other people to understand whether you've crossed or not. Okay, I'll try and explain this in simple terms. Let's say you're a recovering meth addict. We're out together and you're pretty fucking drunk and I offer you meth, which you happily accept stating that you fucking love meth. Sure, you consented. And sure, although you were drunk at the time you ought to have been aware that relapsing was a risk before you got drunk. Plenty of ways that we can pin this on the meth addict and say that they're not a victim and that really it's their fault. That doesn't in any way change the fact that you only relapsed because I made a deliberate choice to cause it. That doesn't in any way reduce the moral accountability I have for the subsequent fallout. I might have an excuse that I can tell people for how it's totally not my fault, but it wouldn't have happened without me. One person having a share of responsibility does not absolve all others. The victim having partial responsibility does not make them no longer a victim. Which is exactly what you argued it did when you said "This also isn't victim blaming - I don't acknowledge the victimhood. ;p" If the girl wakes up feeling like she got raped and deals with all the same trauma that other rape victims do then you denying her victim status is just a way of getting what you did to be okay with Jesus. It doesn't change shit about the impact your choice had on her. You've still made her a victim, all you're doing is pinning it on her to make yourself feel better. Furthermore, it's totally victim blaming. You're shifting the burden of your own participation onto the other party, insisting that you couldn't possibly have known better than to participate if they drunkenly asked you to. The smiley was a particularly tasteless touch too. Honestly, if you really believe with the argument you made about drunk girls not being victims you should feel pretty bad about the person you choose to be. How is sex the same as meth, dude. Guys don't fucking go around thinking 'oh man, she'll totally regret having sex with me when she wakes up', they go 'oh man, awesome'. I'm not talking about girls who wake up being semi-raped, I'm saying that if a girl had drunken sex, this does not mean she was raped, even if she later on regrets it. You seem to think that I'm talking about sober guys picking up blackout drunk guys and having sex with them despite me explicitly stating that this is not what I mean and that at least is kind of rape, and then you present me with your regular counter-that argument. I'm talking about the 'both guy and girl are drunk, club is closing, they both want to go home with someone because being drunk makes them both horny.' Sure the girl is slightly more drunk than the guy is, and she might not normally want to have sex with that particular guy, but you can't expect the drunk guy to go like 'hm, wait, this girl is somewhat out of my league of what I can ordinary get laid from, she must be too drunk to consent otherwise she wouldn't go home with me'. I don't think the girl is a victim in this case, even if she regrets it, just like I don't think the guy who dropped his cellphone in the toilet or told his boss that he's an idiot is a victim. I mean technically you can say they're all victims of alcohol abuse, but not sexual. This is a problem of social attitudes toward men being taking advantage of, more than anything else. Like, if you were drunk and a woman took advantage of you, and you woke up next morning to find that you cheated on your wife, I'm sure you would want to claim the legitimate position of "it's not my fault, someone took advantage of me while I was drunk off my ass". The first thing we all learn about alcohol is that it does not exempt you from your actions. If you cheated on your wife while drunk, you cheated on your wife and have no excuses. It is not a legitimate excuse! The same goes for girls who have sex with guys where both are drunk. It's not an excuse, and you are yourself responsible for your own actions.
So if someone mugs you while you are drunk you're the one responsible? Clearly you are not suddenly responsible for everything when you a drunk just as you are not responsible for nothing when you are drunk.
The test seems easy, who would be responsible if you weren't drunk? If the case of unwanted sexual encounters it wouldn't be the one who doesn't consent.
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