US Politics Mega-thread - Page 8674

On September 07 2017 22:44 Jockmcplop wrote:
Can someone define for me exactly what 'toxic masculinity' is?
Whenever I've seen it used its been as a way of making someone feel better about their lack of masculinity.

On September 07 2017 22:50 Jockmcplop wrote:


Well the way I see there's a place for it, as long as it isn't ubiquitous. I mean, that machismo means that certain people learn to develop certain skills that would otherwise not get learned. That it leads to men being generally expected to behave in a certain way isn't ideal, but it has clearly been biologically evolved (hence hormonal differences between men and women that feed into it) for a reason.
There's a fine line between asking society not to expect negative, destructive behaviour from men and using definitions like 'toxic masculinity' as a way to denigrate men.

The reason this term leads people to hate feminism is because some idiots on both sides can't really see that line

Machismo has long been widespread in Mexican society. Male entitlement — reflected in telenovelas, movies, work settings, families and romantic relationships — has been tolerated, even celebrated.

But times are changing for the Mexican macho man, or “machista.”

Soaring crime rates against women in recent years, and a strengthening women’s rights movement, have forced Mexicans to begin addressing machismo and the harm it does through sexism, misogyny and violence.

The effort got a boost on International Women’s Day last month, when President Enrique Peña Nieto called on Mexico “to launch a frontal assault against all expressions of machismo.” He urged the eradication of “a deeply rooted machista culture,” one that “ultimately and truly generates violence against women.”

While women’s rights advocates view the public acknowledgment of the problem — as well as some political and legislative gains for women — as a good start, they are skeptical about societal change. They say that can happen only by confronting the entrenched ideas fueling machismo.

Gendes, a research and advocacy group in Mexico City that seeks to improve male behavior through counseling, education and public awareness campaigns, is trying to do just that.

Jorge, a university professor in Mexico City who asked that his last name not be used to protect his family’s privacy, came across a pamphlet advertising group therapy and decided to give it a try.

His relationship with his wife had suffered after a violent episode. One night, his wife arrived 30 minutes late to meet him for a movie, and he felt she did not seem sufficiently remorseful. Their argument migrated from the sidewalk to their apartment, where, in a rage, Jorge threw her to the ground and punched her in the face, bloodying her nose.

He said it was the first time in the relationship that his anger had turned physical, and he feared that his wife would leave him.

“I had to do something,” Jorge said in an interview. “I felt curious to know if it was something I could actually change and if I could learn new ways of relating to people, particularly women.”

Ruben Guzmán, a Gendes counselor, said the goal was “letting go of the person you were taught to be.”...

...Gloria Careaga, a professor in gender studies at the National Autonomous University of Mexico, said that as gender roles had begun to shift, men had not learned how to find new ways of relating to women.

“Men here have not been taught any alternative ways of being a man in this country,” Ms. Careaga said.

That tension, she said, has driven many men to violence.

The National Citizens Femicide Observatory, a coalition of human rights and women’s groups in Mexico that studies violence against women, reported that annual female homicide numbers more than doubled between 2007 and 2015, from 1,086 to 2,555.

Last year, Mexicans in dozens of cities took to the streets in the first nationally coordinated demonstration against machismo and violence against women.

Major Mexican companies are weighing in as well. Tecate, a popular beer brand, started a television advertising campaign last summer featuring a woman covered in bruises. “A man is defined by how he treats a woman,” the voice-over said. “If you don’t respect women, Tecate is not for you. We don’t want you to buy beer from us.”

But old habits die hard.

“It is very convenient and comfortable to be a man in Mexico; it comes with great benefits,” said Mr. Vargas, the Gendes founder. “It is not easy to renounce privilege.”

The men in the Gendes group therapy sessions know this all too well, as they have struggled to acknowledge, understand and change their behavior.

During a recent session, the men stared at the floor. The conversation was punctuated by deep sighs.

A man named Alejandro said his girlfriend had discovered that he had sent sexually charged WhatsApp messages to a neighbor. The counselors pushed him to examine his behavior.

“I tried to control her by flirting with our neighbor behind her back,” he confessed. “It is emotional and sexual violence.”