EPTThe PUA community - Page 132
| Forum Index > Closed |
|
Natespank
Canada449 Posts
| ||
|
squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On May 06 2012 11:40 Natespank wrote: ... you guys should just go the the venusian arts forum and continue the thread there... Because I work for another PUA coach. DURRRR | ||
|
OperationIvy
United States13 Posts
| ||
|
B1nary
Canada1267 Posts
| ||
|
sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On May 06 2012 06:20 r.Evo wrote: Mhmm... if you're sure this is what works best for you by all means go for it. What I would suggest is turning the whole "how to find stuff to talk about?" into a little game you play with buddies or wings. Goal is to cut off the other person within a set amount of time (10-20s, don't use a clock) and use something random in their sentence to branch off to a new theme. "Yesterday I was in the cinema and watched that new Batman movie, like the sequel to the Dark Knight and.." "...that reminds me, do you remember how funny the Knights in Monthy Pythons Holy Grail movie were, they had like.." "...haha, yeah. Did you know they sent an expedition to get that grail back like 2 weeks ago? Like right towards..." "...OMG I read yesterday about that new expedition towards Mars, they like set it so that it will happen in 2030 and.." etc. etc. It is not hard to learn how to communicate in such a way (important, it is NATURAL when you talk with people who you have strong rapport with that you cut off loops and create new ones all the time, that's why it works great if you do it before you have strong rapport to create it out of nothing) and it makes those "I dno what to talk about"-problems go away. Actually that's exactly how I talk and I'm trying to stop that.  The problem with deadness often happens because I get bored easily, so its most likely to happen on a coffee date where the girl just rants on for ages about some really complicated book and I just shut off. If I'm really buzzed, I will talk exactly the way you describe and don't have a problem holding a convo and being really energetic, however its not a style that I like doing, even if it feels natural to me.Why? I've had girls call me out on it over dates, because they get really annoyed and think I'm not listening to them haha. For example with the girl talking about a horror book, and then when she paused for a bit I was like "hey whats that horror film with the hand coming out of the girls hair ... etc", and she got reallllly pissed because she thought I wasn't listening to her (its not like our relationship had ended just there, but just saying). It seems to be an unspoken rule that girls can interject over each other, but when a guy does it, its completely different . It works well with some girls, and not with others. Basically I feel I'm just better off not doing it, even if they do it (girls can do a lot of pot calling the kettle black). Sometimes I can't help myself though.I feel its much more effective either waiting till they finish what they have to say and then pretending/or actually being, really interested in what they just talked about, or if she is boring herself, start a convo about an interesting story. Thanks for the advice though. | ||
|
sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On May 06 2012 06:07 r.Evo wrote: "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just took 20 minutes to gather all my fucking courage to walk over to you my dear obese (/incredible if she seems to not be able to take it) beauty, about to swear my eternal and true love to you and you say "I'M NOT INTO YOU"? - DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BAD YOU HURT MAH FEELINGS WITH THAT? WHY ARE YOU SUCH A CRUEL PERSON?" *puppyface* (If she starts walking away during that monologue obviously cut to the "YOU HURT MAH FEELINGS"-part and the puppyface quicker, then I'd go to the closest group of chicks that witnessed the story (and are probably laughing already) and pretend I'm a crying vulnerable puppy seeking for pats on the back for like half a minute. Then stop the whole act and be like "Oh. Cool. I'm over her now. You're hot, too!") Edit: (If she just appears pissy as hell (aka whatever she said didn't aim at me personally) I might go ahead and ask "Hey, why so grumpy?" in a more serious tone half way into the above, but that's a more tricky thing where you can't get out anymore properly. Actually on my very first direct approach I started with like "blabla saw you here find you incredibly attractive blabla" and she answered "Yeah, but I don't find you attractive." - something similar to the above netted me some nights with said girl. =P Stuff like that works for me because apparently I come off as rather tough / aggressive so I can go completely over the top towards the pussy side and get the gurl back with irony and sarcasm. Like, when I get shot down instead of trying to make it seem to my surroundings that it didn't happen (which won't work anyway) I make it blatantly obvious as if she was the love of my life who just left me and use that theme to approach new sets. Since it's very clear that I'm over the top and still having fun with it it's no problem at all. Yep, acting is just a really cool way to break the ice and to use as a social lubricant. I don't do much it myself, but my friend who did theatre studies uses acting as a tool to escalate much more easily. Making a girl feel like they are playing a a role in a movie seems to work wonders if you can pull it off. It also provides some social proofing because it entertains her friends as well. | ||
|
NDDseer
Australia204 Posts
On May 06 2012 11:07 Sotamursu wrote: Sigh, I just hit rock bottom. I'm on a tilt and a losing spree. Pretty much fucked up everything I had going lately. Girls flaking on me without any apparent reason (obviously something caused it though I'm not sure, if it's just me). That's really the worst, especially when I can see it coming even though I get a message like "meet you in an hour  )". I still get my hopes up, which makes a very positive and energetic person for a while, even when I deep down know nothings gonna happen, then I feel like shit when nothing happens. It feels way worse than getting rejected by some random chick during a cold approach. On a positive note, better get used to this now because it's a part of life.After that, all the negative shit I've gotten rid of before starts come closer to the surface. All those insecurities, that neediness and a need to be validated by other people. At least I never let them have a control of my personality like before, but I sure as hell remember what they felt like. It's as if bad things said to you during your life just got confirmed. I try my best not to give a shit, but there's a limit to how far I can go with that. I wonder, if other people ever feel this way. I feel like every chick so far has just been attracted to me because of something passive. I don't think the actions I've taken have actively added to the attraction, on the contrary they probably just fucked it up most of the time. You know that feel, when you play SC2 and go on a winning spree and you only won because your opponent was somehow incredibly bad every time. That's what my game feels like currently. I guess it's just the lack of experience and it's part of the learning process, but it fucking sucks. That good feel, love, infatuation, attraction or whatever you might call it, is definitely a double edged sword. It gives a lot, but it sure as hell takes a lot when it's gone. But I won't and can't care about the pain, I just gotta push through this shit and make something happen. The thought of sucking at getting women for the rest of my life is terrifying to say the least. Sorry if this went a bit too emo for this thread, but I've been feeling like shit lately and it's because of bad success with girls. This journey of self-improvement is something I've had to take completely alone, no one else I know is into pick up and the community is practically non-existent in here. That's why I share this here. As always, any advice or thoughts are appreciated. Read this You learn the most when nothing is going your way. Stick at it. | ||
|
squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On May 06 2012 11:40 Natespank wrote: ... you guys should just go the the venusian arts forum and continue the thread there... Not everyone follows MM completely On May 06 2012 12:59 OperationIvy wrote: How much do they pay you? 25$ an hour on with students on fitness training. Other than that, I get to go to different cities and be there for all the bootcamps and other events. On May 06 2012 13:22 B1nary wrote: Did you guys first start going out by yourself or with a friend? I know I'm being a fucking pussy but I can't work up the balls to go to a bar/club by myself. Don't know anyone who would go with me. Any advice on starting off alone aside from just grow a pair? You don't need a wing at the start because you won't even be good enough to get far at the beginning. When you're new, its not like you're stuck at end game pulling logistics, you are more worried about the first 5 minutes of the interaction. If you can do it solo, do solo. It will make you deal with pressure and you will get over approach anxiety much faster. But if you are THAT scared, then go with a wing. You must make sure your wing approaches more than you. | ||
|
daxile
Canada829 Posts
| ||
|
Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On May 07 2012 06:59 daxile wrote: I tried negging a girl and she slit open my throat. Go on. If she isn't being gregarious, then you just have to return the favor back until you can break her esteem down. And afterward, its all damage control. Some of my closest acquaintances are emerged from dire relationships. Remember to hold your stance, the pace, and tone of your speech. Never lose the initial smirk and just flow with whim. Oh yeah just judging from her reaction, she probably isn’t someone whom you would introduce to your relatives. You shouldn’t get too emotionally attached. | ||
|
Kojak21
Canada1104 Posts
On May 07 2012 08:04 Xiphos wrote: Go on. If she isn't being gregarious, then you just have to return the favor back until you can break her esteem down. And afterward, its all damage control. Some of my closest acquaintances are emerged from dire relationships. Remember to hold your stance, the pace, and tone of your speech. Never lose the initial smirk and just flow with whim. Oh yeah just judging from her reaction, she probably isn’t someone whom you would introduce to your relatives. You shouldn’t get too emotionally attached. dude no point replying to him. hes obviously dead if she slit his throat open. | ||
|
daxile
Canada829 Posts
On May 07 2012 08:05 Kojak21 wrote: dude no point replying to him. hes obviously dead if she slit his throat open. You don't know that. | ||
|
sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On May 07 2012 08:04 Xiphos wrote: Go on. If she isn't being gregarious, then you just have to return the favor back until you can break her esteem down. And afterward, its all damage control. Some of my closest acquaintances are emerged from dire relationships. Remember to hold your stance, the pace, and tone of your speech. Never lose the initial smirk and just flow with whim. Oh yeah just judging from her reaction, she probably isn’t someone whom you would introduce to your relatives. You shouldn’t get too emotionally attached. Negging is one of the main reasons PUA gets a bad rep. A lot of nice guys just can't grasp the fact that there are specific times when you are better off being a douche, because often that is actually being yourself. Most "nice guys" I've met often poke fun at other guys (breaking someones self esteem), and then go "just kidding" (the damage control part). Yet when they talk to a girl they completely change into nice guy mode and talk like a robot. They think they are being themselves, but they are really not. And when they see other guys acting "normal", the nice guys think hes being an asshole. Negging is a way to imply closeness, friendliness, cockiness, humor all at once. You can verbally be "meanest" to your closest friends, because you both know that you are just having fun and its all cool. Negging is a conscious way to create catalyze that kind of connection, because some kinds of people can't help switching into uber-boring-nice-guy mode. Of course there are different types of negs, some of them are straight up cocky, others less so. EDIT: Actually there's this really good quote I heard from a girl, on the issue of nice guys vs mean guys, and it was "girls don't want assholes, they want nice guys, who know when to be mean". | ||
|
squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On May 07 2012 11:27 sluggaslamoo wrote: Negging is one of the main reasons PUA gets a bad rep. A lot of nice guys just can't grasp the fact that there are specific times when you are better off being a douche, because often that is actually being yourself. X2 Mystery Method / Venutian Arts was written by Mystery 1. For people like Mystery (autistic; he uses IOIs and DHVs as rules because he cant function like a normal person) 2. For venues where Mystery goes (Exclusive Hollywood clubs with people / celebrities who dress weird) 3. For girls that Mystery likes (HB10 hot club girls) This is why people don't realize that certain elements of game are CONTEXT dependent. This is why you don't fucking go to a mall with mascara and a TOP HAT, negging average bitches, being all weird and shit. Thats the problem with PUA lairs. Its weird people leading weird people. The LINES, TACTICS, ROUTINES don't override being normal, funny, and not weird. Being WEIRD is the single handedly the biggest factor in killing your changes with women. And these guys run around with routines and tactics but over an aura of weirdness. This is why hanging out with naturals is SO important. These guys have been around for thousands of years and basically, they get laid and they are shown and proven to work. Why is it important? Because you can mirror them and you learn their sub communication and mentality that you just can't learn by only hanging with other PUAs. Why do you think naturals can break so many rules that are dogmatic in PU yet they still get laid? They have very good fundamentals and it over rides a lot of rules. A natural can lean in, hold their drinks in front of their chest, tell self deprecating stories and still pull. You learn basically the following when hanging out with naturals: 1. humor 2. good body language 3. its okay to hit on girls mentality. "No shame in the game!" haha 4. how to be chill 5. how to be normal and not weird 6. dominance 7. teasing Now, you shouldn't only hang with naturals because they won't be able to break down a lot of principles in game such as qualification, and comfort, and blah blah blah. You should still read materials and hang out with other PUAs better than you. You basically need both. But if you NEVER hang out with naturals, you are missing out a lot because there is just no where else to mirror and imitate their behaviors. | ||
|
squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
| ||
|
SeXyBaCk
Switzerland174 Posts
| ||
|
TheGeneralTheoryOf
235 Posts
| ||
|
TheGeneralTheoryOf
235 Posts
| ||
|
squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On May 08 2012 17:08 SeXyBaCk wrote: With all due respect, Squat, I think you can do much better than her as your date. Shes an HB11. I didn't want to expose her face. | ||
|
Kojak21
Canada1104 Posts
On May 08 2012 17:18 squattincassanova wrote: Shes an HB11. I didn't want to expose her face. i thought she was more of an R2D2 | ||
| ||
