not bad, pretty decent just normal game during day game.
That was pretty painful to watch, just the amount of crap about the girl he had to pretend to be interested in about her, but I guess at the end of the day it's like work. You don't want to do it, but you have to do your job in order to get paid. Likewise you don't want to smalltalk about superficial things, but you have to do it to get laid.
Isn't that like everything in life? To work out and get buff, you are constantly sore and you eat a lot of food that doesn't taste great. To get an education, you don't get to play video games and some of the homework is boring as fuck.
Well no shit, there are sacrifices to be made in pickup. Particularly time and effort in making the most out of it. What.... did you think in learning pickup that some God is going to bless every set that you talk .... to be HB10's all waiting to jump on y our cock? NO! That's part of pickup, you don't know about a girl and you cold approach to figure out more about her. Its not like there are hot girls left and right in the supermarket so you make the most out of it. Its called PRACTICE.
If you don't like it don't watch it. Not every woman you talk to is like the Dos Equis guy. A lot of them are boring. Thats life. Cuz I sure as hell don't know many girls funnier and wittier than me.
Chill the fuck out, damn you get defensive easily. Some of the most interesting people I've known are females. When you make huge generalisations like you just did in your post all you're doing is acting like you see people like robots and that they're target practice for your own needs. That's not going to get you very far in a relationship.
My first relationship was 7 years long. I could write a book better than Dr Phil.
...wasn't that the relationship which made you start doing pickup? =P ... If yes, that's not really a point against his argument.
dammit man, people have a different point of you and you ALWAYS react with sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling "NO, I'M RIGHT, SHUTUP"
making a good thread into a garbage dick measuring contest.
yes, you have changed your life because of pickup, good for you other people don't feel the same way you do, get the fuck over it. offer advice and your perspective rather than judgements.
Squattincassanova makes this thread, if it wasnt for him it wouldnt be as entertaining. but we probably would learn more cause he usually says incorrect stuff.
On May 02 2012 13:25 Kojak21 wrote: Squattincassanova makes this thread, if it wasnt for him it wouldnt be as entertaining. but we probably would learn more cause he usually says incorrect stuff.
I'm loving me the debate on 3 somes... I couldn't actually read the whole thing, lost interest after the first paragraph, but it sure looks impressive.. Some of you boys, and yes, you are boys (which is totally alright) just need to live a little more/longer and read a little less because it's clogging up your minds.
Yes, you can talk women into just about doing anything in the bedroom for/with you if they like you enough, unless they have some very deeply rooted moral issues or psychological traumas in their past. Everyone has to decide for themselves if it's worth the effort. What's the obsession with 3-somes? You can only have sex with one woman at any given moment. Is this your fantasy or some kind of I want to be cool thing? Anyway, figure it out for yourself. But I think it's very telling that FFM 3-somes are like a big thing in every corner of the PUA community. Why? Well, it's these mostly short/skinny/used to be skinny guys who might have gotten laid but are still the little bullied boys on the inside seeking validation/admiration from their peers. High five bro', you got laid.
Squat, (I think it was you) saying how practice was required before approaching an "HB10". I'm struggling to see any logic in that. For me, how comfortable I feel around someone is not related to their looks at all, it's related to their personality, who they are, not how they look. And mostly how comfortable I am is really just about me. Maybe you can elaborate on the logic behind your statement.
And yet, it all just comes down to earning the right to be with women. That is a poor mindset in itself. If that's how you chose to be, your choice. Yes, work on yourself, yes, eat healthy, exercise, have hobbies, be ambitious about at least one thing in your life but not for the sake of women. That's not attractive to women. Ask any grown woman in your life what kind of qualities she respects in a man. PUA rambles on about the alpha male, yet seeks nothing more than female attention (which funnily enough is unattractive to a lot of women).
Again, I'm all for self help and men becoming more sociable, but considering the current gender roles in the 21st century (in the west at least), I have my doubts if PUA and most of the current dating advice is ultimately helpful to mens emotional wellbeing. How many years can you run around clubs for chasing tail? What's going to happen to all those older women who missed out 'cause they weren't easy enough while all the men are off chasing the younger women? When are you going to deal with the hangover, the physical and emotional of spending your youth having mostly outcomeless relationships?
Becoming more confident, content settled and ultimately more happy is achievable. But it's an emotional process. Not a number of lays that you need to rack up. The core issue for 99% of guys who aren't content isn't a lack of sexual partners. The issue is they're human beings with human needs without even being aware of what those needs may be.
You need to dig a bit deeper. Do you have social anxiety? Then definitely, doing PUA with encouragement can help you come out of your shell and get more comfortable. Are you a man who's emotionally uptight/out of touch and doesn't feel anything and therefore has been driving women, that do want him off? Then you're way better off seeking therapy than becoming some approach machine.
Squat, (I think it was you) saying how practice was required before approaching an "HB10". I'm struggling to see any logic in that. For me, how comfortable I feel around someone is not related to their looks at all, it's related to their personality. Maybe you can elaborate on the logic behind your statement.
Squats logic is that pickup is a no-brain activity that gets perfect with practice and practice only. The real logic is that if you have the ego and personality of a male 5, you aren't gonna hook up with a female 10 just by walking up and saying "hi, i wanna put mah templar in your vajaijaii" - practice gives feedback and feedback improves your self-esteem and other skills in that area. As always, good practice > mass practice.
As for your point that you aren't affected by the looks of a woman, you are definitly the norm among men. That's why no one (ambitious wannabe PUA or ubernatural) ever gets nervous among beautiful women or celebrities. That all boils down to the fact that good looking people have great personalities which make people nervous.
Yes, work on yourself, yes, eat healthy, exercise, have hobbies, be ambitious about at least one thing in your life but not for the sake of women. That's not attractive to women.
100% agree.
Again, I'm all for self help and men becoming more sociable, but considering the current gender roles in the 21st century (in the west), I have my doubts if PUA and most of the current dating advice is ultimately helpful to mens emotional wellbeing. How many years can you run around clubs for chasing tail? What's going to happen to all those older women who missed out 'cause they weren't easy enough while all the men are off chasing the younger women? When are you going ot deal with the hangover, the physical and emotional?
Becoming more confident, content settled and ultimately more happy is achievable. But it's an emotional process. Not a number of lays that you need to rack up. The core issue for 99% of guys who aren't content isn't a lack of sexual partners. The issue is they're human beings with human needs without even being aware of what those needs may be.
Is it ultimately helpful to mens emotional wellbeing? Partly yes, partly no. Do you think a man who isn't able (yes, able) to communicate with women as he really wants to is happy? I'd say no. Now I don't care if he goes to pickup or a chinese medicineman to improve that part of his life, if it works he will be more happy in the long run for sure.
More options, more flexibility, more choices. More choices to be exactly the kind of person you want to be.
Now, the problem are men or people in general who start defining themselves via success in one certain area of their lives. It doesn't matter if it's their job, a video-game or being able to pick up hot girls. Any of those are poison in the long run if they become the driving factor behind your daily life. That however, is no issue with pickup specifically.
Like, if you get all your ego from starcraft but aren't able to keep up you might start cheating or hacking to get an advantage. If a person needs something like this to boost his or her ego (because it's the only resource they got) it is highly likely that they're going to approach something like pickup with a similar skewed perspective.
Those are the people who usually end up being pretty stubborn, skillless egomaniacs. Without being happy or truely feeling good about themselves. You can usually recognize those people easily because their first goal is to make other people feel bad about themselves as well.
On May 02 2012 01:48 LF9 wrote: I bet my car that I can be a better "PUA" with zero training and just being myself and using what I normally do than the best living PUA trainer on this entire planet. Best part; I get a girl that I'm actually compatible with and have a mutual rapport with. He gets an equally attractive girl who is as dumb as he is, that is, IF this whole PUA stuff isn't just bogus crap.
Your post makes no sense. If he can get a pretty girl with no personality, he has the skills to get a pretty girl WITH personality. It’s a hell of a lot easier to talk to a girl who can talk back with you. Why? Because shes adding to the conversation and giving you opportunities to thread cut into multiple topics.
You apparently don't understand skill / capability vs. sampling frequency. Most girls out there are boring. Lets say only 10% of all girls on the planet are interesting. If you know 100 girls, then you know 10 interesting ones. If the PUA talkes to 10000 girls, he will have met 1000 interesting ones. Now while he has talked to 9000 dumb girl just because of statistics, he still knows a hell of a lot more intersting ones than you.
That's actually raises an interesting point for me. Wish I'd known about the whole PUA thing, or at least the general concepts underlying much of it when I was a youngster
Anyway, my problem is being a generally misanthropic bastard of a person makes it extremely hard to get through the exact kind of boring, unidirectional interaction you're talking about.
I was wondering if any of you guys had any kind of method for recognising people who might be actually liable to be talkative and whatnot to via mere body language and that. I can recognise girls who are liable to be complete uptight bitches from afar, not sure what the cues are but I have this instinctual sense. Anyone know how to weed out the boring ones? By 'boring' I mean those liable to be sullen and uncommunicative, rather than genuinely 'interesting' in terms of WHAT they talk about if that makes sense.
This isn't actually for anything I have planned or anything either, I'm just genuinely intrigued as a lot of the PUA stuff I have read really goes in-depth when it comes into bodylanguage.
On May 03 2012 22:45 SeXyBaCk wrote: Squat, (I think it was you) saying how practice was required before approaching an "HB10". I'm struggling to see any logic in that. For me, how comfortable I feel around someone is not related to their looks at all, it's related to their personality, who they are, not how they look. And mostly how comfortable I am is really just about me. Maybe you can elaborate on the logic behind your statement.
Don't get me wrong. I advocate approaching hot girls. The hotter the girls you approach, the better, and the more you over come. You can approach HB10s all you want, good for you. The problem with MOST guys is a few things.
1. They have this standard that they can only talk to HB10. Well guess what? Unless you're in an an exclusive club in Hollywood, there aren't fucking HB10s walking left and right. The reality is, its an excuse for most guys not to approach, they end up not approaching anyone. If you see an HB10, approach her. But if that HB10 isnt around, and the next best thing is an HB7, go approach the HB7. Don't waste your time wall flowering. Get my point? Simple concept.
2. You are statistically more likely to land an HB6 than you are a HB10. That's a fact. If it was just as easy to get a Victoria Secret model as it is to get a random girl from Walmart, I wouldn't be fucking doing pickup. What I am saying is, don't give up those opportunities to lay an HB6 when you get a chance, so that WHEN you do end up with an HB10, you will know the the fuck you are doing. Get it?
On May 04 2012 00:32 Wombat_NI wrote: I was wondering if any of you guys had any kind of method for recognising people who might be actually liable to be talkative and whatnot to via mere body language and that. I can recognise girls who are liable to be complete uptight bitches from afar, not sure what the cues are but I have this instinctual sense. Anyone know how to weed out the boring ones? By 'boring' I mean those liable to be sullen and uncommunicative, rather than genuinely 'interesting' in terms of WHAT they talk about if that makes sense.
It comes with experience in the field. But its pretty easy to find out soon enough whos talkative and whos not... real quick. The sets where I hook goes off like a bomb. But then again, there are girls who are talkative but haven't warmed up to you. Takes a bit more plowing to get her interest before you find our her social side.
The real question is who cares? All you gotta know is find hot girl, approach hot girl, if you work on your skills, she will open up. And if you are that fucking good that you are filtering most girls to what you like and what you don't like.... well you probably are good enough to already have the answer to your question.
On May 03 2012 23:19 r.Evo wrote: Squats logic is that pickup is a no-brain activity that gets perfect with practice and practice only.
Except the difference between me and you is that every Friday and Saturday, I go out, open sets, write field reports coming back home, dissect what I did right, what I did wrong. I get my field report analyzed by a top 10 ranked pua coach on a weekly basis, and I get home work assignments based on my sticking points.
Whereas you spend most of your time reading ebooks and not actually going out and write 5 page responses to peoples posts.
You're welcome to come fly down to Socal and have a sarge off with me. I would destroy you.
Is there any way the moderators can make it so that Evo's posts are hidden from Squat, and Squat's posts are hidden from Evo? I think they both should get a light warning as they are the two main people in this thread who keep attacking each other.
Squat - you said you were busy writing up field reports. Lets see them.
Approached hot German girl with artsy look. She was with some douchebag. Good thing my wing was happy to open to them - I wanted to open with: "Are you two artists?" But he said the best thing to do is open with an opinion rather than a question which requires a factual answer, because opinion openers make the girl have to think about how she is feeling. He opened with how do you feel about the pizza here (it was a handmade wood grilled pizza bar).
He knew his shit. Instantly asked if they were boyfriend/girlfriend, when they said no he dealt with the male whilst I had the opportunity to chat up the German. Problem is she was very boring, she spoke good English but I couldn't get a conversation going or any IOIs. Partly my own fault for not making her feel any attraction, but at the same time she was taking no responsibility for the conversation (e.g. "What have you been up to today?" "Nothing." "Where have you travelled to so far?" "Nowhere.").
Bounced to another bar, used the gay guy opener: "Hey, how do you feel about me being gay." It works. Straight away I could kino on the dance floor and grind away because they didn't feel threatened. Of course when I went in for the kiss they'd be like: "I thought you were gay." I reply with: "Yeah, but I like experimenting with my sexuality." Fuck yeah, I get more makeouts and ass gropes as a gay guy more than I do as a regular straight guy.
Worst approach was when I opened to a chick: "Hey." Her reply: "I'm not into you." WTF. It wasn't even because I had been staring at her before approaching or anything, it was literally a turn my head around, she happened to be there, me saying hey. How do you respond to I'm not into you?
Other issue I ran into was a violent cockblocking meathead who literally kept pushing me. I just kept moving towards him to show him I wasn't fazed and after a while it got ridiculous and people around us could see that he was the dickhead by being violent whereas I was simply moving towards him (or more accurately, the girl he was trying to block me from). He realised this and told his girl they should go somewhere else, even though I didn't get any poon I'm just glad I made him look like a dick in front of others before he left. I just fucking hate people who feel like they have to get violent. At least with PUAs they AMORG you with words rather than violence.
Anyway, went home with no chicks unfortunately but was probably too drunk to get an erection anyway. Beat off to Jennifer White in the morning.
On May 04 2012 08:37 Jon Huntsman wrote: Is there any way the moderators can make it so that Evo's posts are hidden from Squat, and Squat's posts are hidden from Evo? I think they both should get a light warning as they are the two main people in this thread who keep attacking each other.
Squat - you said you were busy writing up field reports. Lets see them.
Approached hot German girl with artsy look. She was with some douchebag. Good thing my wing was happy to open to them - I wanted to open with: "Are you two artists?" But he said the best thing to do is open with an opinion rather than a question which requires a factual answer, because opinion openers make the girl have to think about how she is feeling. He opened with how do you feel about the pizza here (it was a handmade wood grilled pizza bar).
He knew his shit. Instantly asked if they were boyfriend/girlfriend, when they said no he dealt with the male whilst I had the opportunity to chat up the German. Problem is she was very boring, she spoke good English but I couldn't get a conversation going or any IOIs. Partly my own fault for not making her feel any attraction, but at the same time she was taking no responsibility for the conversation (e.g. "What have you been up to today?" "Nothing." "Where have you travelled to so far?" "Nowhere.").
Bounced to another bar, used the gay guy opener: "Hey, how do you feel about me being gay." It works. Straight away I could kino on the dance floor and grind away because they didn't feel threatened. Of course when I went in for the kiss they'd be like: "I thought you were gay." I reply with: "Yeah, but I like experimenting with my sexuality." Fuck yeah, I get more makeouts and ass gropes as a gay guy more than I do as a regular straight guy.
Worst approach was when I opened to a chick: "Hey." Her reply: "I'm not into you." WTF. It wasn't even because I had been staring at her before approaching or anything, it was literally a turn my head around, she happened to be there, me saying hey. How do you respond to I'm not into you?
Other issue I ran into was a violent cockblocking meathead who literally kept pushing me. I just kept moving towards him to show him I wasn't fazed and after a while it got ridiculous and people around us could see that he was the dickhead by being violent whereas I was simply moving towards him (or more accurately, the girl he was trying to block me from). He realised this and told his girl they should go somewhere else, even though I didn't get any poon I'm just glad I made him look like a dick in front of others before he left. I just fucking hate people who feel like they have to get violent. At least with PUAs they AMORG you with words rather than violence.
Anyway, went home with no chicks unfortunately but was probably too drunk to get an erection anyway. Beat off to Jennifer White in the morning.
The problem is.
You opened like 2-3 sets for the WHOLE night (based on your FR) and I know your sets didn't last 1 hour each, so there was a lot of screwing around.
The second thing is, if you know shes from Germany, of course her verbal is going to be weak. Don't rely of strong conversations to hook her in. Tease her and then try to get physical.
How do you respond to I'm not into you?
"If I were you, I wouldn't be into me either, I'm one of those assholes that ends up sleeping with your hottest best friends"
"I beg to differ, my mom thinks I'm quite a stud"
"If I told you I was the president of the chess club, I know you'd take that comment back"
You can thank me for how awesome I am at dealing with shit tests. Just don't take her frame and act unaffected. Universal default. She says you're BLAH BLAH BLAH. You respond "your face/mom is BLAH BLAH BLAH".
On May 04 2012 10:13 squattincassanova wrote: The problem is.
You opened like 2-3 sets for the WHOLE night (based on your FR) and I know your sets didn't last 1 hour each, so there was a lot of screwing around.
The second thing is, if you know shes from Germany, of course her verbal is going to be weak. Don't rely of strong conversations to hook her in. Tease her and then try to get physical.
"If I were you, I wouldn't be into me either, I'm one of those assholes that ends up sleeping with your hottest best friends"
"I beg to differ, my mom thinks I'm quite a stud"
"If I told you I was the president of the chess club, I know you'd take that comment back"
You can thank me for how awesome I am at dealing with shit tests. Just don't take her frame and act unaffected. Universal default. She says you're BLAH BLAH BLAH. You respond "your face/mom is BLAH BLAH BLAH".
You're Gay
Your Face is Gay
You're not Funny
Your Mom's not funny
Not a problem, I actually opened more like 20 sets over the course of a four hour night (11pm-3am), I just highlighted the parts I felt I needed advice on. Thanks for the tips regarding dealing with shit tests.
Didn't you mention in an earlier post you were busy writing up field reports? Are you able to post them here? Be interested to see them.
On May 04 2012 10:13 squattincassanova wrote: The problem is.
You opened like 2-3 sets for the WHOLE night (based on your FR) and I know your sets didn't last 1 hour each, so there was a lot of screwing around.
The second thing is, if you know shes from Germany, of course her verbal is going to be weak. Don't rely of strong conversations to hook her in. Tease her and then try to get physical.
How do you respond to I'm not into you?
"If I were you, I wouldn't be into me either, I'm one of those assholes that ends up sleeping with your hottest best friends"
"I beg to differ, my mom thinks I'm quite a stud"
"If I told you I was the president of the chess club, I know you'd take that comment back"
You can thank me for how awesome I am at dealing with shit tests. Just don't take her frame and act unaffected. Universal default. She says you're BLAH BLAH BLAH. You respond "your face/mom is BLAH BLAH BLAH".
You're Gay
Your Face is Gay
You're not Funny
Your Mom's not funny
Not a problem, I actually opened more like 20 sets over the course of a four hour night (11pm-3am), I just highlighted the parts I felt I needed advice on. Thanks for the tips regarding dealing with shit tests.
Didn't you mention in an earlier post you were busy writing up field reports? Are you able to post them here? Be interested to see them.
Fridays: Temecula Went to Temecula, I got to stop going there anymore because the girl I am seeing the Mexican girl went there too. She was there half the time so pretty much I hung out with her. I was also late because I went on a date Friday night before the club.
Set 1; Two busty girls, one black one latin, near bathroom
Opening/Dialogue Followed to wing my black friend ME: “are you the more dominant and aggressive one? You were like: introduce yourself” HB1: “I’m Lisa” ME: “I never met a black girl named Lisa, I only know of a yellow Lisa”. She laughs HB2: “You don’t know the Lisa from saved by the bell?” Me: “what color was she? Was she brunette or blonde” Me: “How do you guys know each other?” I didn’t hear their response. I Find out they work at Tilted Kilt Me: “You know whats crazy, my manager took us out for celebration and one of us recommended Tilted Kilt. He had no idea what that place was until we got there. HB2 to my wing: “I like your kind” to my black wing. Then they walked off.
Why it ended We were next to the bathroom. A lot of traffic and people walking past us. They seemed distracted I think they went to find their friend but they just walked off.
What I could have done to prevent blowout I need to use more kino, perhaps more aggressive kino to pull them further from the bathroom and also so the two girls not facing each other. My girl keeps getting her attention reshifted to her friend and also my black wing. I was actually winging his set.
Set 2; 3 girls by the corner. Two sitting down and one standing up. Opening/Dialogue Followed to wing ME: Hi, I am Mike, nice to meet you HB1: “Hi, I am Kayla, its my birthday, I we are from Hemet” ME: “You are from Hemet? Oh my god, I am so sorry about. That is such a weird place. The only people that live there oddly are female hair dressers and old creepy men. I went to the DMV and I swear I saw a guy with one eye” HB1 starts laughing. ME: “You know 9 months ago, was spring break; that means your parents must have gotten it on in college” HB1: “My parents didn’t do that; let me explain my story first. I was born in NY on a farm. I moved to Hemet when I was 10. Me: “Why did you not tell your parents: fuck that, I am staying in NY, you should not have came to Hemet” HB1: “I was 10 at the time” She pokes her friend in the boob ME: “Omg that was so indecent, HB2, are you going to take that from her?” HB1: “No she’s my best friend!” HB1: “Omg, I love this song, come dance with us” ME: “Okay” and we go dancing
Why it ended I ejected. On the dance floor when she was dancing with her back facing me, she had this weird rash all over her back and I could not stop starring at her. Considering she’s from Hemet, I Don’t want to get an infectious diseases.
What I could have done to prevent blowout I ejected, so nothing here. I could have pushed it a lot further. The bday carpool/ Hemet logistics might be weird but I could I could have tried pushing;
Set 3; three girls, one telling a story with her hands moving around a lot Opening/Dialogue ME: “You are the most animated person ever, I bet you were telling a story about making a pizza”. They all laughed. ME: “I introduce myself and asked for their names” HB1: “We are blah blah, and we are from Fallbrook” ME: “blah blah about how they know from each other”. They were giggling and I tried to pull them into my wings. ME: “Hey, come meet my friends Anthony and Andrew” HB1: “Come take a picture of us first” ME: “what is the magic word” HB2: “Please” ME: “Come meet my friends, they are cool” HB2: “Whats the magic word” ME: “I’m not asking you guys for anything, if you guys want to hang out with cool people come, don’t be anti social” HB2: “whats the magic word?”
I didn’t want to follow their hoops so I walked towards my friend, they didn’t follow
Why it ended When they kept persisting whats the magic word, I got angry that they kept pushing for it. I was hoping that if I walked towards my friends they would follow. But they didn’t. I didn’t want to look like a jackass walking back so I just went back to my friends and kept talking.
What I could have done to prevent blowout I could have said “please” like they requested. Or I could have done a body rock and came back and tried to persuade them to come again. Basically I forced them to make a decision on the spot and they weren’t comfortable yet to follow me or they didn’t have enough compliance at the point.
Set 3; 2 girls sitting on high chair Opening/Dialogue ME: “You seem like fun, I had to come meet you” HB1: “Hi, I am Velencia” ME: “Isnt that like an orange” HB: “I would have pictured you being a female quido” HB1: “Why?” ME: “cuz they are orange”. She starts laughing ME: “I should take you to an improve comedy show” HB1: “Why?” ME: “because you would be laughing your ass off” Me: “who is your friend” ME: “That’s like Brazilian name? HB1: “No” ME: “Please tell me shes not Canadian” HB1: “She’s from Dominican Republic” HB1 : “That’s Bianca, she’s my boyfriend’s sister. ME: “Was your ethicicty” HB1: “African American” ME: “Are you part Asian?” HB1: “No” ME: “Do you want Asian inside of you?” HB1 : “Haha” ME: “I am also African”. I go off on how I ended up looking Asian. HB1: “You are funny”
Mini Stall HB1: “Well it was nice meting you”
I go over to HB2 and start talking to her.
ME: “Bianca right?” ME: “Let me guess, you are from Dominican Republic right?
I banter with the Bianca girl for a bit. I find out she has a boyfriend. Me: “Why does this place have no single educated people? They need to have the things in the Sims game where they have a diamond showing their status.
Why it ended Basically they have a boyfriend. Also, the conversation died down because I was clearly affected by the fact they had boyfriends.
What I could have done to prevent blowout I think when they sub communicate that they have a bf and it sounds legit, I shouldn’t keep talking about the topic like I am affected. First off since that is the sister of the boyfriend of the girl, its probably not a good idea to game her in front of her friends face. I would probably have to have my friend come wing, and get isolation quickly before continuing to game the girl.
Nightly Overview
What I did right v I am being more conscious about managing the group and also trying to isolate. It’s something at least in my mind the first 5 minutes of the opening.
v I am hanging out with guys that are better than me. The black guys is definitely more experienced and has much more smooth talk even thought he is a natural. He gives me some interesting perspectives that typical PUAs don’t mention. These guys are positive so again, hanging out with them, I tend to be in positive light. Since they are around, I am able to at least attempt to get isolation with the girl by introducing them to my wing.
What I could have done better v Not going into venues that the girls I am seeing are doing. Either that or move to another venue. v Use more kino in general but also for body positioning. v I think I am playing it way to safe, I rarely get called out for too much kino so perhaps I should be kinoing sets till I get blown out just for kino. It all boils down to taking more risks. That’s probably the most over arching thing. I don’t go for it unless I am getting obvious attraction and those sets aren’t the ones that I need to work on. I play it to safe when I don’t get attraction and end up with more soft blow outs than hard ones. I need to get used to more hard blow outs.
Overall Thoughts v The night was relatively short. I do need to think of some additional places to sarge. I think Tem is getting pretty dead. It was not a bad night or a great night. I got a few sets in. I again, I don’t think I pushed each as much as I can. v Didn’t use as much kino as I should. I ejected from a set that I wasn’t attracted to which I could have pushed further. v Now let’s say I am following the structure/model and I try to switch gears let’s say isolation. If they say yes, great, but if they say no, do I just move back on step and continue again? So as long as I don’t get blown out, just continue previous step for 5 more minutes and then try again for compliance? v Locking in wasn’t too bad. You just have to commit to it. And once you do it with commitment, the girl in general complies. v Again, this all goes to not taking risk. I think a lot of it doesn’t have to be done perfectly technical. I think since I am a quick learner that if I just do it enough, I would quickly auto correct.
Saturday: San Diego Stingaree (In Field) Just going to talk about nightly overview since all my sets were listened to in field.
What I did right v Again, I did better at doing lock ins and isolation. v I was more animated the second half of the night, especially with the Pakistani girl. v When I asked her about her LSAT score and she gave me her score, which was a low score, I did a back turn and it was perfect. She grabbed me. I think that was what got me the make out.
What I could have done better v First I need to show up earlier for the in-field. I only have 2 days of sarging so I should try to get 4 hours in per night as much as I can. v I should not have fidgeted with my hand warmer. v Do better with body position. When I winged Rishi, the two girls were still facing each other. I need to be more conscious about splitting the two girls apart from each other so they aren’t facing each other and can’t girl code each other. v I need to eject out of fatty sets. The first set, I stayed in there way too long with the fatty, even though she had big boobs lol. Need to pick harder sets. I need to be approaching harder sets. v I also need to stop asking girls for their names, seems pretty beta. v When I approached the girls who were dancing, my energy levels did not match theirs. Again, this goes back to playing it safe and risk aversion. I saw the two guys after me get makeouts because their energy level was high even though their dancing was shit. One other thing I can do is a high five and a spin.
Overall Thoughts v Not too bad of a night. I think the fact I went out on a date with a girl before going into the club, made me rather in state. I was fairly outcome independent that night. v Also, the fact that I was in an in-field meant I was forced to do all my stuff. So the lack of outcome dependence + more discipline because DJ Fuji was there, was a great combination. v I think the sticking points were not too different from last time, it’s just a matter of execution and following the structure. v I think being lazy does hold me back. But I think not taking risks is actually holding me back even more. I think they both hold me back. Since I am going out anyways, taking risks is not doing any additional work than what I am already doing. Its simply just going for it.
Qualities I like in Girls (It’s too hard to give a complete dialogue or its too specific. I just created lines to finish for the quality indirectly. If this format is not perfect, give me an example and I will follow it).
1. Well traveled, been to different locations · Me: I been to blah blah blah. You get to see this and that; the people were blah blah blaah. Have you been to there before? · Her: Yes/No · If she says yes · Me: “When and who did you go with? · Her: “blah blah” · Me: “What made you want to go there? Was it the culture? The people? The food? The City? The scenery?” · If she says no · Me: “What was the last places you been to?” · Her: “I been to blah blah blah” · Me: “What made you want to go there? Was it the culture? The people? The food? The City? The scenery?” · Her: “Blah blah” · Me: “Oh, you seem to be the type of person who enjoys blah blah and wants to learn blah blah” · Me: “What’s one place that you want to go in the future 2. Speak more than one language (this one is pretty straight forward to find out I think) · Me: “You said always wanted to go this one place; will you know how to navigate around the city? It seems that everywhere I go, when you can communicate with the locals, they end up taking you to the places that most tourists don’t know about. How do you say hello and thank you in that language?” · Me: “In high school and college, did you take any extracurricular activities or learn any elective classes? What languages did your school offer?” · Me: “where you in a very traditional house hold? I notice for your ethnicities, they always speak language X at home” · Her: “I took blah blah in high school”, “My parents taught me Spanish”, I use language X a lot when I travel to difference places”.
3. Well educated in school · Me: “What did you do after high school” · Me: “What did you study? · Me: “Were you one of the girls that sit in the front of the class or were you one of the girls that skipped class but still got good grades? Or were you one of the girls who skipped class but got bad grades?” · Me: “where you on the dean’s list?”
4. Attention to Detail · This is a rather had one to qualify implicitly it seems. Tell a grounding story about how my job at work requires attention to detail. For example, how my job has · Me: “What kind of work do you do? Is it one of those jobs where you have to dot the I’s and cross your t’s type of jobs?” · Me: “If you were to plan your wedding some day, would you let the planner do everything, or would you have to be super involved and make sure everything is right?” · Me: “Do you ever forget things like where you put your car keys and where you parked your car”?
5. Open to new things · Tell a grounding story about me trying snails, going to a new restaurant every month, or trying photography for the first time · Me: “What is the craziest thing you have ever eaten?” · Me: “Have you skydived or bungee jumped? · Me: “Can you see yourself getting a great deal to a vacation trip and just booking it spontaneously? · Me: “Was there anything your friends tried to convince you to do but you chickened out?”
3 Action Items for Risk Avoidance 1. When set becomes boring or stale and is going nowhere. Do annoying kino moves until I get blown out.
2. Do not approach girls you would not be willing to push to lay
3. When girls become non responsive, ask her “do you love anal”
1 Sign up and go to acting class on facial expressions. 2 Incorporate at least 10 back-turns throughout the night. Write down in the field report which set it was done in and what effect it had. 3 Watch the dance DVDs 4 Perform 2 hours of dancing, while following DVD 5 Restrict games to less than 3 hours a week. 6 Reduce surfing the internet to less than 3 hours a week 7 Review teasing, and pushing techniques from conference call. Write a one page summary of each. 8 Bring the written down summary and lines, use the lines in set at least 5 times per night. 9 Use manic time to track where my time went in 15 minute increments 10 IVC drills in 10 minute increments for 3x a week 11 Thread cutting exercises in 10 minute increments for 3x a week. 12 Conversation steering exercises from boring conversations to something sexual and exciting in 10 minute increments for 3x a week 13 Open more 5 dance sets on the dance floor per night 14 Write on in-field card to work on one of the following four expressions or gestures while in set. In the field report write how I exaggerated the movement 15 Read time management book 16 Make one video a week about 10 minutes long where I exaggerate a story that happened that week, and write a 1 page critique on what I did right and what I should work on.
With the "whats the magic word?" one, are you sure they weren't asking you what the magic word actually was?
You were like "what's the magic word?" and they said "please?", but then you seemed to ignore it and continued pressing them which sounds like they didn't actually guess the correct word. They probably were wondering what the magic word actually was, not trying to get you to jump through their hoops.
And if they were, I think you should have just played a long. If you are spontaneous then stuff like this can be really fun.
On May 04 2012 08:37 Jon Huntsman wrote: Worst approach was when I opened to a chick: "Hey." Her reply: "I'm not into you." WTF. It wasn't even because I had been staring at her before approaching or anything, it was literally a turn my head around, she happened to be there, me saying hey. How do you respond to I'm not into you?
Just wanna say, props for the "gay guy" gambit, takes some guts, I just find it really difficult to lie that I never bother with those haha nice.
I find direct game to be less effective in a club rather than indirect game. My suggestion is don't give her an excuse to be a bitch, or don't make it look like you are hitting on her, or you neg. Turning around and saying her is totally like you are trying to hit on her.
Negging takes the biggest amount of balls, and does require you to be good at damage control (it gets your foot in the door, but you also find yourself working up from a more difficult state), I don't actually like doing it, and it usually happens because your approach wasn't subtle enough, but sometimes they can just be bitches.
Basically approach from an angle, the more side on you are, the harder it is to detect. Of course you were sitting next to her but then you turned around and said 'hey' which is really direct. If you are gonna say hey, then you would need to social proof the room before you do it. Which for me is a real cbf haha.
If you are sitting down, don't turn around, face your body towards the bar, tilt your head facing her, say whatever it is you are gonna say, and then look at a point of interest that is near her but isn't her. Basically make it look like you aren't putting any effort into it, putting the onus on her to put in the effort.
Ask her a really non-threatening question, like your friends opinion opener which works well sometimes. Don't point out anything that has to do with attraction, like "I love your hair" or "nice boots", don't do that. Opinion openers are ok, but some girls might think you are hitting on them, I usually just try indirect openers instead either by opening to her friend, or opening with a point of interest. If its a club I often use "You are really good at dancing", just after I finished a dance sesh (I used to be a bboy), that gets them to go "thanks you too!", and I reply with "nah I'm terrible haha", and that's a really comfortable way for me to get in.
Last time at a bar, I was over-hearing a really pretty but short blonde british girl, and so I reversed my seat up to her table, rested my head on my hand, and waited for her to stop talking and look at me. She ignored me and kept talking, I knew then if I would have said something she would have told me to go away, so I went back and started talking to my friends. Later her other friend sits down and I go back to the table, and I ask her friend "me and my friend were wondering what accent she has", and she says she has a british accent.
Then the blonde girl intervenes wondering what we are talking about, then I go "we were wondering what accent you have", and she goes british, I'm like, "yeah duh, but like which city?". She told me she used to live in london for a while and that's where her accent came from, I'm like "ohhhh I was guessing it was more of a manchester accent?", she shook her head "nooo way!" in a comical fashion which showed me that she seemed at least interested in the convo, me: "yeah because I know that in england different cities have completely different accents, like liverpool goes 'liverpuddle' and stuff". And she's like "nah liverpool is like LIVERPOOOOOL!!!". Etc.
Hope I was at least some help to you . Good luck to your future progress
On May 04 2012 00:32 Wombat_NI wrote:
Anyway, my problem is being a generally misanthropic bastard of a person makes it extremely hard to get through the exact kind of boring, unidirectional interaction you're talking about. .[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
I have a similar kind of problem because I often spend a lot of time talking to myself (in my head), that I often don't realise I'm creating deadness. Which is why I'm focusing on stories and gambits. You should check it out, it can really help when you find yourself pausing a lot or grasping at straws for things to say.
Basically if you have 10 minutes of interesting convo pre-planned out it can make your life a lot easier while expressing DHV. And usually by that time you are so deep into the conversation you can just branch onto anything and you won't have a problem of not talking.
Find the most boring topic you can think of, can you make an interesting convo out of it? Try lossy compression.
Mystery proves you can make a really interesting convo out of absolutely anything. It doesn't matter if you have a boring job, boring life, whatever, you can paint a picture of a really interesting version of yourself without lying.
There are other forms of gambits too, like the ESP gambit, which I don't actually like but whatever its the only thing I can find in the space of about 10 seconds.
With the "whats the magic word?" one, are you sure they weren't asking you what the magic word actually was?
You were like "what's the magic word?" and they said "please?", but then you seemed to ignore it and continued pressing them which sounds like they didn't actually guess the correct word. They probably were wondering what the magic word actually was, not trying to get you to jump through their hoops.
And if they were, I think you should have just played a long. If you are spontaneous then stuff like this can be really fun.
On May 04 2012 08:37 Jon Huntsman wrote: Worst approach was when I opened to a chick: "Hey." Her reply: "I'm not into you." WTF. It wasn't even because I had been staring at her before approaching or anything, it was literally a turn my head around, she happened to be there, me saying hey. How do you respond to I'm not into you?
Just wanna say, props for the "gay guy" gambit, takes some guts, I just find it really difficult to lie that I never bother with those haha nice.
I find direct game to be less effective in a club rather than indirect game. My suggestion is don't give her an excuse to be a bitch, or don't make it look like you are hitting on her, or you neg. Turning around and saying her is totally like you are trying to hit on her.
Negging takes the biggest amount of balls, and does require you to be good at damage control (it gets your foot in the door, but you also find yourself working up from a more difficult state), I don't actually like doing it, and it usually happens because your approach wasn't subtle enough, but sometimes they can just be bitches.
Basically approach from an angle, the more side on you are, the harder it is to detect. Of course you were sitting next to her but then you turned around and said 'hey' which is really direct. If you are gonna say hey, then you would need to social proof the room before you do it. Which for me is a real cbf haha.
If you are sitting down, don't turn around, face your body towards the bar, tilt your head facing her, say whatever it is you are gonna say, and then look at a point of interest that is near her but isn't her. Basically make it look like you aren't putting any effort into it, putting the onus on her to put in the effort.
Ask her a really non-threatening question, like your friends opinion opener which works well sometimes. Don't point out anything that has to do with attraction, like "I love your hair" or "nice boots", don't do that. Opinion openers are ok, but some girls might think you are hitting on them, I usually just try indirect openers instead either by opening to her friend, or opening with a point of interest. If its a club I often use "You are really good at dancing", just after I finished a dance sesh (I used to be a bboy), that gets them to go "thanks you too!", and I reply with "nah I'm terrible haha", and that's a really comfortable way for me to get in.
Last time at a bar, I was over-hearing a really pretty but short blonde british girl, and so I reversed my seat up to her table, rested my head on my hand, and waited for her to stop talking and look at me. She ignored me and kept talking, I knew then if I would have said something she would have told me to go away, so I went back and started talking to my friends. Later her other friend sits down and I go back to the table, and I ask her friend "me and my friend were wondering what accent she has", and she says she has a british accent.
Then the blonde girl intervenes wondering what we are talking about, then I go "we were wondering what accent you have", and she goes british, I'm like, "yeah duh, but like which city?". She told me she used to live in london for a while and that's where her accent came from, I'm like "ohhhh I was guessing it was more of a manchester accent?", she shook her head "nooo way!" in a comical fashion which showed me that she seemed at least interested in the convo, me: "yeah because I know that in england different cities have completely different accents, like liverpool goes 'liverpuddle' and stuff". And she's like "nah liverpool is like LIVERPOOOOOL!!!". Etc.
Hope I was at least some help to you . Good luck to your future progress
On May 04 2012 00:32 Wombat_NI wrote:
Anyway, my problem is being a generally misanthropic bastard of a person makes it extremely hard to get through the exact kind of boring, unidirectional interaction you're talking about. .
[/QUOTE]
I have a similar kind of problem because I often spend a lot of time talking to myself (in my head), that I often don't realise I'm creating deadness. Which is why I'm focusing on stories and gambits. You should check it out, it can really help when you find yourself pausing a lot or grasping at straws for things to say.
Basically if you have 10 minutes of interesting convo pre-planned out it can make your life a lot easier while expressing DHV. And usually by that time you are so deep into the conversation you can just branch onto anything and you won't have a problem of not talking.
Find the most boring topic you can think of, can you make an interesting convo out of it? Try lossy compression.
Mystery proves you can make a really interesting convo out of absolutely anything. It doesn't matter if you have a boring job, boring life, whatever, you can paint a picture of a really interesting version of yourself without lying.
There are other forms of gambits too, like the ESP gambit, which I don't actually like but whatever its the only thing I can find in the space of about 10 seconds.
On May 04 2012 08:37 Jon Huntsman wrote: Worst approach was when I opened to a chick: "Hey." Her reply: "I'm not into you." WTF. It wasn't even because I had been staring at her before approaching or anything, it was literally a turn my head around, she happened to be there, me saying hey. How do you respond to I'm not into you?
"WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just took 20 minutes to gather all my fucking courage to walk over to you my dear obese (/incredible if she seems to not be able to take it) beauty, about to swear my eternal and true love to you and you say "I'M NOT INTO YOU"? - DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BAD YOU HURT MAH FEELINGS WITH THAT? WHY ARE YOU SUCH A CRUEL PERSON?" *puppyface*
(If she starts walking away during that monologue obviously cut to the "YOU HURT MAH FEELINGS"-part and the puppyface quicker, then I'd go to the closest group of chicks that witnessed the story (and are probably laughing already) and pretend I'm a crying vulnerable puppy seeking for pats on the back for like half a minute. Then stop the whole act and be like "Oh. Cool. I'm over her now. You're hot, too!")
Edit: (If she just appears pissy as hell (aka whatever she said didn't aim at me personally) I might go ahead and ask "Hey, why so grumpy?" in a more serious tone half way into the above, but that's a more tricky thing where you can't get out anymore properly.
Actually on my very first direct approach I started with like "blabla saw you here find you incredibly attractive blabla" and she answered "Yeah, but I don't find you attractive." - something similar to the above netted me some nights with said girl. =P
Stuff like that works for me because apparently I come off as rather tough / aggressive so I can go completely over the top towards the pussy side and get the gurl back with irony and sarcasm. Like, when I get shot down instead of trying to make it seem to my surroundings that it didn't happen (which won't work anyway) I make it blatantly obvious as if she was the love of my life who just left me and use that theme to approach new sets. Since it's very clear that I'm over the top and still having fun with it it's no problem at all.
I have a similar kind of problem because I often spend a lot of time talking to myself (in my head), that I often don't realise I'm creating deadness. Which is why I'm focusing on stories and gambits. You should check it out, it can really help when you find yourself pausing a lot or grasping at straws for things to say.
Basically if you have 10 minutes of interesting convo pre-planned out it can make your life a lot easier while expressing DHV. And usually by that time you are so deep into the conversation you can just branch onto anything and you won't have a problem of not talking.
Mhmm... if you're sure this is what works best for you by all means go for it. What I would suggest is turning the whole "how to find stuff to talk about?" into a little game you play with buddies or wings. Goal is to cut off the other person within a set amount of time (10-20s, don't use a clock) and use something random in their sentence to branch off to a new theme.
"Yesterday I was in the cinema and watched that new Batman movie, like the sequel to the Dark Knight and.." "...that reminds me, do you remember how funny the Knights in Monthy Pythons Holy Grail movie were, they had like.." "...haha, yeah. Did you know they sent an expedition to get that grail back like 2 weeks ago? Like right towards..." "...OMG I read yesterday about that new expedition towards Mars, they like set it so that it will happen in 2030 and.."
etc. etc.
It is not hard to learn how to communicate in such a way (important, it is NATURAL when you talk with people who you have strong rapport with that you cut off loops and create new ones all the time, that's why it works great if you do it before you have strong rapport to create it out of nothing) and it makes those "I dno what to talk about"-problems go away.
Sigh, I just hit rock bottom. I'm on a tilt and a losing spree. Pretty much fucked up everything I had going lately. Girls flaking on me without any apparent reason (obviously something caused it though I'm not sure, if it's just me). That's really the worst, especially when I can see it coming even though I get a message like "meet you in an hour )". I still get my hopes up, which makes a very positive and energetic person for a while, even when I deep down know nothings gonna happen, then I feel like shit when nothing happens. It feels way worse than getting rejected by some random chick during a cold approach. On a positive note, better get used to this now because it's a part of life.
After that, all the negative shit I've gotten rid of before starts come closer to the surface. All those insecurities, that neediness and a need to be validated by other people. At least I never let them have a control of my personality like before, but I sure as hell remember what they felt like. It's as if bad things said to you during your life just got confirmed. I try my best not to give a shit, but there's a limit to how far I can go with that. I wonder, if other people ever feel this way.
I feel like every chick so far has just been attracted to me because of something passive. I don't think the actions I've taken have actively added to the attraction, on the contrary they probably just fucked it up most of the time. You know that feel, when you play SC2 and go on a winning spree and you only won because your opponent was somehow incredibly bad every time. That's what my game feels like currently. I guess it's just the lack of experience and it's part of the learning process, but it fucking sucks.
That good feel, love, infatuation, attraction or whatever you might call it, is definitely a double edged sword. It gives a lot, but it sure as hell takes a lot when it's gone. But I won't and can't care about the pain, I just gotta push through this shit and make something happen. The thought of sucking at getting women for the rest of my life is terrifying to say the least.
Sorry if this went a bit too emo for this thread, but I've been feeling like shit lately and it's because of bad success with girls. This journey of self-improvement is something I've had to take completely alone, no one else I know is into pick up and the community is practically non-existent in here. That's why I share this here.
As always, any advice or thoughts are appreciated.
On May 06 2012 11:07 Sotamursu wrote: Sigh, I just hit rock bottom. I'm on a tilt and a losing spree. Pretty much fucked up everything I had going lately. Girls flaking on me without any apparent reason (obviously something caused it though I'm not sure, if it's just me). That's really the worst, especially when I can see it coming even though I get a message like "meet you in an hour )". I still get my hopes up, which makes a very positive and energetic person for a while, even when I deep down know nothings gonna happen, then I feel like shit when nothing happens. It feels way worse than getting rejected by some random chick during a cold approach. On a positive note, better get used to this now because it's a part of life.
After that, all the negative shit I've gotten rid of before starts come closer to the surface. All those insecurities, that neediness and a need to be validated by other people. At least I never let them have a control of my personality like before, but I sure as hell remember what they felt like. It's as if bad things said to you during your life just got confirmed. I try my best not to give a shit, but there's a limit to how far I can go with that. I wonder, if other people ever feel this way.
I feel like every chick so far has just been attracted to me because of something passive. I don't think the actions I've taken have actively added to the attraction, on the contrary they probably just fucked it up most of the time. You know that feel, when you play SC2 and go on a winning spree and you only won because your opponent was somehow incredibly bad every time. That's what my game feels like currently. I guess it's just the lack of experience and it's part of the learning process, but it fucking sucks.
That good feel, love, infatuation, attraction or whatever you might call it, is definitely a double edged sword. It gives a lot, but it sure as hell takes a lot when it's gone. But I won't and can't care about the pain, I just gotta push through this shit and make something happen. The thought of sucking at getting women for the rest of my life is terrifying to say the least.
Sorry if this went a bit too emo for this thread, but I've been feeling like shit lately and it's because of bad success with girls. This journey of self-improvement is something I've had to take completely alone, no one else I know is into pick up and the community is practically non-existent in here. That's why I share this here.
As always, any advice or thoughts are appreciated.
Keep going bro. Most people quit here. We all been flaked. Not big deal. Hot girls go out every weekend! You're growing a thicker skin. Its all growth here.
EPT
)". I still get my hopes up, which makes a very positive and energetic person for a while, even when I deep down know nothings gonna happen, then I feel like shit when nothing happens. It feels way worse than getting rejected by some random chick during a cold approach. On a positive note, better get used to this now because it's a part of life.
