Guy hangs himself, streams it via webcam - Page 17

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-44PrVnXOeQ

anyone think thinks taking your own life is EASY or and EASY WAY OUT needs to think for more than one second about what they are saying.

I suffer from Bi-Polar Disorder, i go from deepest depression to hyper mode faster than a 6pool kills me. when i was younger I couldn't deal with it, i didn't manage the disorder well and I was in a bad state alot of the time. I tried to take my life on multiple occasions, thankfully I failed via a combination of people turning up at the right time to save me and sheer luck.

I never told anyone what I was going to do, I wasn't doing it for the attention, at the time I just wanted out. I couldn't handle not knowing how i was going to feel about the world from day to day, it was horrible.I won't go in to too many details on what i did to myself, but I have a tattoo that exactly cover up some of the scars (I made a pattern with a cut-throat razor) to remind me what i almost lost.

You have no idea how much resolve and will power it takes to intentionally harm yourself to the point that you will die. I'm not talking about "self harm", thats a completely different mind set, I am talking about knowingly attempting to end your life. Billions of years of evolution have created instincts for self preservation, to override this programming which is HARD CODED in to you takes enormous courage and self control. I challenge anyone to take a cut throat razor and slice a part of your body open...... most people wouldn't be able to do it, because they would be scared of the pain, of those who could do it, most wouldn't cut deep enough to understand how hard it really is to damage your body to the point of dying. what i'm trying to say is, hurting yourself is Stupid (notice the capitol S), but not cowardly.

Having been in a place where i thought the world would be better without me, and now in a place where i would do anything to save my own life has been a massive transition and one that took many friends supporting me to achieve. there was a time when i honestly believed my lfie was worthless, and even then the thought of taking my own life made me feel sick, but i mastered myself and did what at the time i felt was the right thing to do.

I am eternally thankful for those who came to my rescue and for the fact that my body was so used to taking drugs (both medicinal and recreational) that my tolerance saved me on more than one occasion..... it seemed i simply wasn't meant to die at times, even tho i am not religious, it felt like somehow it always went wrong.

Its always a sad day when someone takes their own life, but sometimes, though it may seem selfish to those who do not know true depression, in your mind while you are doing it..... you honestly think no one will miss you, no one will care, and even those who do are better off without you around bringing them down. Many people who commit suicide say in their notes things like "I couldn't bare seeing how miserable i was making you, hopefully now you can be happy" - aimed at thier loved ones - and in their altered state they honestly think they are doing the right thing.

To put into context the sort of person i was when i attempted to take my own life.....

I was 14 (first time, 17 last time), captain of my school soccer, rugby and basketball teams, sponsored for Skateboarding and Snowboarding. In a band (i am now a professional Singer and sound technician), had a gorgeous girlfriend and lots of friends.

I was by no means the "usual" suicide case. However, I have a disorder that completely messes with my head.

You may ask what changed things for me, and the answer is simple. I began to talk to people about my disorder, and about my feelings. I let my friends in and they helped an immense amount, I was lucky I had friends. Alot of people who take their lives don't have anyone to lean on, and I really needed people to lean on.... until I was 22 and my son was born. From that day on, the thought of taking my own life has never once entered my head.

I am one of the lucky ones, able to tell the world about my experiences, I had friends who aren't here anymore because they succeeded in taking their lives, I miss them very much and wish they had been lucky like me and somehow managed to find their way back from the darkness. I take great offense to people sullying their memory by saying they took the easy way out..... they are gone, never to return, never to love, never to live all because of a plethora of reasons. Whether they were born different, or mistreated by parents/piers or had a mental disorder that went unnoticed or a host of other causes.

No one is born wanting to kill themselves, it is a tragedy and we should do everything we can to find out why people do it, and then to attempt to remove those things from the world.