As you can see in the title itself.. This is about us guys that are having a hard time getting a girlfriend or just flirting in the bar. I mean, yeah so this is the internet and it's 90 percent pure nerdlings that's actually reading stuff in wikipedia, TL.net or 4chan.
Well, I was inspired by kona and InC's discussion threads that's why I went for it. I already asked the "big boss" if he can help me out in providing incredible dating tips and how we can pick up women online or in the bar/supermarket/gym/wherever.
I myself, yeah I can say I was a frustrated chump within all my teenage years. They call me "boy busted" due to the amount of fail I had with women. Until I met the girl of my dreams. We've been dating for 4 years already and I am the most happiest dumbass you will every find!
Enough of me, so I just want to try to put as much order in the thread if it's okay.
So the simple rules are:
1) Make constructive criticism if you found some flaws in this thread or if you found that not everything works. Also try making a story of how you sarge in with all the women within a night!
2) If you have any great idea that you observed about women, go for it man! I mean, please provide all you insights and wonderful ideas that we nerdlings need to be able to pick up 8 to 10 rating women.
3) We will not be talking about girl problems here, we will remove all negative energies we fill about women. I mean this thread is about knowing all the cool stuff we can do with them. Like flirting, kissing them after just meeting them a few minutes, cuddling and stuff. Making little teddy bears, flying kites, checking out their armpits if they've grew hair already, etc.
4) We should not sexist in this thread. Yes, so we can use the power of seduction and shit but that doesn't mean we are going to be mean to them by posting (example: fuck those pussies, bitchies are all around my cock, my knowledge in the art of sucking tits is amazing right now so while I finger every single pussy in the universe) Please don't, yeah we can make civilized sex talk but not to the point that we are just being plain assholes in the making.
5) Last and not the least I guess is have fun discussing how you sarged, what type of technique you used to pick up the numbers. how did you fail and started back up, let us all keep the positive vibe in this room so we wouldn't have any negative thoughts about our women.
So there you go, with the long wall of text here are some observations that I'm going to share and have done in the past:
1) All women are really, really mushy deep down inside. While I was courting my girl back in the day, I remembered being so sweet via coffee from starbucks. So she was like having a boring class conversation and there I was, sweeping through the room with her mocha latte and all her classmates was like shocked and so impressed by the shit I've stormed in. (so this is really a plus points, and yeah remember that you should have a build a lot of rapport before doing this stunt)
2) When you meet someone new, like in a bar or something this really works out:
Wait are you an actress? then if she says no then keep on insisting that "Are you sure you aren't an actress because I've seen you in a commercial before" you have to have legendary confidence to pull out this stunt. This isn't really negging the girl; (negging:meaning -> to playfully insult (i don't know if it's the right term someone help me out) or tease the girl without her feeling offended. You are actually showering here with compliments without you looking like a desperate zergling clawing on your target:
here is a video example of this:
go to 2:49 in this video, notice how the girl is trying to get away from the creepy dude (who is an expert and instructor in picking up women), His stature and confidence in this one is legendary and is so textbook. Notice as well how he uses the power of touch in making the girl feel comfortable with him. He also insulted himself that he was really creepy with trying to meet up with her.
3) Well, this is already a wall of text so I'm just going to provide the most important part we all know:
PRACTICE!!!!
Yes, right practice is always perfect. So yeah, I know some of you are so skeptical that you will tell me within the night you will have 1 out of 10 numbers if you keep trying. But what if you made it a perfect 10 out 10 numbers in one night? wouldn't that make your life so awesome and so full of options?
So keep practing players and to give out more tips try visiting the following kennigit's blogs:
Anyway first I think you should edit the more abrasive things out of the OP, like the parenthetical statement where you try to confront any potential haters... That's just asking for trolls to come out of the woodwork. Don't say the whole "and many guys want to fight me now," thing, it just comes off as a lame brag. Just leave things that are relevant to the OP, maybe including your 4 year girlfriend that you are happy with and that's it. No facebook add me this nerdlings want to fight me that.
Other than that I think you covered a lot of good guidelines for the thread, now let's just hope that people are open to opening themselves in a public TL thread.
Okay it's time for me to give you some guidance in your life. You say you want bitches. You say you want skills. Well let me teach you how. Here are 10 steps to success:
1. Stop waking up early in the morning to play StarCraft
You wake up early to gather more pimples on your face from screen over-exposure, to ruin your posture by sitting slumped forward and staring at the computer. You work your little Asian hands fulltime, because between your 150 apm and masturbating with tweezers, you are well on your way to carpal tunnel syndrome.
2. Start working out.
Instead of playing SC in the morning, go out and run a mile, if you can make it that far. Do 100 sit-ups and 50 push ups every morning and every evening. If you can't do both in one sitting, you are weak and need to train more. If you can't do 100 sit-ups in a row, you have to do 70 twice. If you can't do that, you have to do 50 three times. Got it, kid? You want this girl, but you're a double-chin Asian in middle/high school. You're not going to get anywhere without a better physique, because teenagers are hormonal judgmental and superficial creatures.
3. Get a job.
If you get a job, or any form of income (working for parents/chores, selling drugs, prostitution, etc.), you will have money for the following things: girls, clothes, drugs, alcohol. Those are the only 4 things you need right now, if you want to get a girlfriend/get laid before you are 40. You need money. Get it. Doesn't matter how.
4. Get a new look.
I know your mentality, you think that you see a lot of kids in your school walking around in the same jeans everyday, only changing their T-shirt once in a while, and you think that it is acceptable for you to do the same. Wrong. You need to show some self-respect and grooming, otherwise girls are going to treat you like how you look, which is trash. Get yourself some trendy Hollister T-shirts, maybe a few American Eagle dress shirts, put them on top of a nice T, roll up the sleeves, and keep them untucked from your shorts (khaki shorts at Hollister are ~$25-35). When you become trendy, you get attention, if you can pull it off correctly. Then go to the hair salon, tell them to give you a better haircut than a grease-bowl. Something short that you can gel up and style is the best option.
5. Get educated.
Download or purchase the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Read it. Take the valuable information about social conduct out of it and apply it to real life. If your personality on TL is any indicator of your mental capabilities, social exposure, and understanding of decency, you need a LOT of help. Read this book, and read some real fucking books, not that 9th grade reading assignment shit. It will make you more mature, and more mature = more chicks. Do it.
6. Get some contacts (not for your vision, idiot).
Talk to girls. Talk to more girls. Hang out with girls. Get to know as many girls as possible. The more girls you know, the more options you have, the more experience dealing with girls you have, the more back-ups you have for when you inevitably fuck up on trying to hook up with one. Make sure to touch upon all the different social circles, because otherwise one girl will call her hofriends and let them know how you are a douchebag who tried to rape her at the movies. Get invited to parties, go to them, do something cool, and get invited to more until you are socially accepted.
7. Get a drug dealer.
Even if you don't do drugs (which you should, weed is the bomb), others will, and it's a way of socially connecting with others. Most girls who smoke are not those dirty hippies who fit the stoner stereotype - almost every attractive girl at my schools and other schools in the area smoke pot at parties. It doesn't have much long-term or short-term damage and it's worth the money.
8. Get a girlfriend.
At this point you should be fitter, more attractive, and more socially acceptable. Time to make a move. Getting a girlfriend in high school is easy as shit. It doesn't even have to be someone that attractive at first - just to make it clear that you can date and will date. Climb up the social ladder with every girl you date, going from 6/10 to 8.5/10 or so. I don't think you'll be able to go higher but 8.5 is decent. No fat or ugly chicks, every time you even look at one without a sneer it lowers your social value.
9. Cheat on girlfriend.
This only applies to the lower rating girls, but cheating on them is the best way to show that you are a badass and are willing to do shit. Other girls like this, as long as there is no prospect of you dating them. So, there are 3 types of girls (mini-lesson): Type A is girls you are dating to climb the social ladder, Type B is the girls you want to date (8.5 and up), Type C is the girls you would never date but would cheat on your girlfriend with. Keep abundant numbers of all three in your network until you are dating a Type B.
10. Play StarCraft instead of talking to girlfriend on the phone.
If she is not having sex with you or building up to having sex with you, there is no need for her presence outside of school. You already have to hang out with her and go to the movies and shit, there is no need for her to be taking up your time at home with some meaningless high school bullshit. Tell her you are busy during the day working, and use that time to play StarCraft and get better. This doesn't mean neglect her completely - keep up your game in person, but don't let her think you don't have anything to do all the day and you have the time/patience/whippedness to listen to her gossip on the phone. Oh, and posting blogs about SC is pointless, you should just play 2 more games instead of wasting people's time with your stupid blogs. Those 2 games give you more benefit than any blog ever will. Except maybe this one, because I wrote this guide to life in this one.
I am getting old in comparison to most posters so here is what I've learned.
1. Confidence is the most important thing. Sure there is that case where the hotty likes the super shy fumbling nervous nerd... but that is not realistic. When talking with a girl, it is very important that you don't look away or look down.. this makes you seem scared. Always look them in the eyes and smile when chatting.
2. Your raw physical appearance means very little, but having proper hygiene matters a lot. The unibrow or the mounds of hair on the nose are things you want to get rid of.. of course smelling nice without the empowering cologne smell is quite helpful.
3. Initiating the conversation is the hardest part, especially if you don't do it a lot. Being observant is key here. Depending on the situation... there is ALWAYS an easy conversation starter. For example, if you see a girl at the grocery store standing next to you and you want to flirt... observe what she is looking at. Expand this into a non aggressive intro line... something like.. simply smiling and saying "is that frozen steamer dinner good?, ive been meaning to try". This type of non aggressive intro line is everything, and you have a small window to either move on or progress the conversation. If she smiles and starts talking with you, here is your window to deepen the conversation by perhaps asking her about herself.. something like does she go to school around here (knowing when they have a boyfriend or just not interested is also important.. just move on champ there are more women!).
Just some observations that are expanded on in some links in the OP. Main thing is don't give up, smile, and speak with confidence (and don't be the scary stalker guy!).
Smiling is a big thing, just to add on to what Pufftrees said. When you walk into any place, a smile is enough to project confidence, even if you don't think anyone will notice. Same thing goes for going somewhere with a wingman (or just a friend for casual hanging out), if you both look confident, animated, interesting, it raises your apparent value. Seems like a small thing that is stupid but it's real.
Also, the people in the keys to the VIP room get laughed at by just about everyone on that forum. They're AFC's who rely on looks. Your idea of practically stalking a girl is awful. "I swear I've seen you before." You're just being weird, you aren't being confident, or anything else. Stick with what's proven to work. You don't even have to use openings like they use in MM (opinion openers). I mean, yeah, it helps to get started, but once you've internalized all the stuff in MM it's about how you react to people, not so much what you say. That's the whole point of MM, to understand what is going on and calibrate in response. MM is just a fast-forward button on your learning.
Also, check out Mehow if you want a pretty interesting take on things.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
EDIT: I just want to add in that I am NOT a PUA, I don't claim to be one, and I never have. I know what to do, and how to do it, but I don't always do it. AA paralyzes me a lot, and I rationalize why I shouldn't ask a girl. When I do the things I tell people to do, however, I get results.
You are so late to the PUA party, good god. You aren't going to get much help from any forum
It's all really bad stuff. It's basically the product of total nerds with absolutely no social skills trying to apply a formulaic approach to the social dynamic. You know those age old adages people use to go on about, things like "have confidence in yourself", "learn how to approach people" those are the key principles you should take away from your PUA bullshit you study and leave the rest out, because it's not good.
There's really so little to it, don't dress or look like shit, and get out there. Even the online dating thing Kennigit spoke about works from sheer volume. Think of all the people you run into and meet in your life, how many of them do you actually like? Dating is the exact same thing. You mash your square peg into the various geometric holes until it fits (sex also works similarly for you virgins out there)
You don't need the $$super system mystery codeword$$ to get into a girls pants you just need to not be a fuckin loser
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: You are so late to the PUA party, good god. You aren't going to get much help from any forum
First part true. Second part false.
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: It's all really bad stuff. It's basically the product of total nerds with absolutely no social skills trying to apply a formulaic approach to the social dynamic. You know those age old adages people use to go on about, things like "have confidence in yourself", "learn how to approach people" those are the key principles you should take away from your PUA bullshit you study and leave the rest out, because it's not good.
There is a lot of bullshit out there, true. There are also a lot of things that work. A lot of things that people can gain from a thread like this ARE common sense, like "have more confidence" that you mentioned. A lot of people, nerds or not, don't have enough confidence to be comfortable to be talking to a stranger, be it male or female. A lot of people don't even have the confidence to talk to girls that they are acquaintances with, which basically seals their fate in terms of potential relationships. However, just saying "get more confidence" is not enough - giving people a plan, an idea, a feeling like the know what they are doing. Even a few basic guidelines/exercises can help people to get out from behind their chair and go out there and TRY, something which they might never have done without the help of others.
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: There's really so little to it, don't dress or look like shit, and get out there. Even the online dating thing Kennigit spoke about works from sheer volume. Think of all the people you run into and meet in your life, how many of them do you actually like? Dating is the exact same thing. You mash your square peg into the various geometric holes until it fits (sex also works similarly for you virgins out there)
You don't need the $$super system mystery codeword$$ to get into a girls pants you just need to not be a fuckin loser
Once again, you do mention the most basic and obvious things that help a lot, but it's not just about physical preparedness, it's also about how good their mentality is. If someone asked you for advice, and you said "BE MORE CONFIDENT AND DON'T SMELL LIKE SHIT," they would be like "um okay" and would never have the tools they need to actually gain that confidence. Initial confidence for maybe one encounter is hard enough to muster for some people, what if they get ignored/shut down? Twice? Three times? People will actually being to lose confidence, feel helpless, and regress back into their shell. This is why discussion with people who have experience in this field helps. Like I said, even having a basic plan or one person who threw you a few lines of advice can be enough to get people out of their social holes.
The last few lines are lol but definitely true though.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
You have to feel the situation, and of course there isn't one "best" approach. But, if you initiate small talk, and then you are both smiling and engaged with each other, asking more personal questions are not out of the window.. and from my experiences the woman will appreciate it. Of course you don't want to ask things like.. So where do you live ?
I recently (2 years ago) moved from East Coast to California where I knew absolutely zero people, so nearly all of my dates have been from meeting women at random places... like the grocery store or gym etc. If they are smiling and chatting and show interest, I definitely still say ask questions to find out more about them, then you at least know if you even want to bother asking for their number etc.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
Okay if I deciphered what you are trying to say, you want to know if starting a conversation about yourself is a good way to break the ice. I'm going to say that recalling a joke about lettuce you said as a kid is a bad approach, you'd need some miracle to pull that one off (or the girl must be hammered, which is not the goal of this, right guys?). Talking about yourself is okay if it's interesting and relevant to what you are having a conversation about, but I'd still recommend keeping it brief. Like SweetLemons said, talking solely about her makes you a glaring red dot on her radar for predators, the guys who say what girls want to hear or who flatter them by trying to act interested in them only to fuck them. Your goal is to come under the radar. For that it's good to be a little random sometimes, but only if you make sense and are once again interesting.
First and foremost, realize than in order to be good with women, you have to be able to manipulate and use gender roles to your advantage. What this means is that everyone has a picture of what a man and a woman is like and if you display manly traits in the right way, women will pick up on this. Alot of PUA stuff is based on Mysterys old assumptions of what women like in men, which are based on gender roles. We're talking "protector of loved ones", independent, careless etc.
I would say I'm naturally quite good with women, and it might be because I have two sisters or whatever but I get along with women good most of the time. I think a sensibility towards people and being somewhat emotional helps alot in this, because women are very emotional and therefor seek emotional rapport and connection with others. You will need to be curious about others and respect women. Genuine likeability doesn't come from looking down on women and believing they are all whores, but to actually like women. This shines through becuase you will feel more at ease at around women and you will actually be interested in what they have to say.
So, talk to women and be interested in what they have to say but don't be interested in THEM right off the bat. You will want to suddenly go "oh well it was great talking to you, I'm gonna go talk to my friends a bit now" like talking to her ain't a biggie. Behave like discussion in general appeals to you; this will display two things: 1) You are socially competent and women like guys that can behave in public 2) You aren't showing that much interest in her specifically but rather you talk with alot of people, although you like talking to her as well.
Women aren't as sensitive as many guys think. She doesn't break or gets devastated that easily, she isn't made of glass no matter how feminine she seems. Women seem to be MUCH better at handling physical pain in general than guys and rarely complain alot when they hurt, probably because they are used to it. Monthly stomach aches and what not.
Don't be afraid to be frank about the fact that you find her attractive. Actually a frank comment like "I am attracted to you" with an easy smile just before you tell her that you will go talk to someone else can work wonders. Have the girl come chase you, not the other way around.
Learn to read peoples body language, what they say and HOW they say it. If you have good social competence I guess you are probably already somewhat good with women. Never EVER be desperate for a woman, like she would be your only choice unless you are already together. If you are already together, stop the player vibe and love your woman. Never be a crybaby or wuss about things, no one, even guys like people who just complain all the time and are scared about everything.
Things that scare you are things you should do just because they make you feel fucking alive and it's the best feeling in the world.
Hm what else...oh yeah, don't think too much. Be natural and don't overdo anything. Women look alot more at guys personalities than one would think. We are used to looking at womens face, boobs and ass and there are probably many biological reasons for this. Women look for a guy who can stand up for himself and has traits that she (and most of women) find attractive. Developing a personality will do much more for you than get a super-hot gym body. Believe that!
Be well-groomed. Clean clothes ALWAYS. Cut your nails, use a facial body lotion; they are cheap and makes your skin alot better. Brush your teeth, have decent hair. A pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt can be great, it's not that important. It's how you carry your clothes. Always walk with a fucking straight back and never ever ever ever slouch. Read the last sentence again. Look into peoples eyes no matter how uncomfortable it may be for you (seems to be for many people). Seeking eye contact and holding it although it's hard, will also help you if you have social anxiety of any degree, because you aren't looking away and imagining everyone laughing at your silly old self. You actually notice what's going on and that no ones laughing.
Finally, laugh alot and don't take meeting women so seriously. Of course you can easily get away with being laidback and not give a fuck if you are Brad Pitt or look like a greek god but like I said it's not THAT important to women with looks. It's how you carry yourself and what your personality is like that matters.
From having tried some of Mystery's PUA Method and some other semi-ridiculous methods that they advocate on TV shows and popular internet websites, I have to say -- it's really all about your inner game once you have okay clothes, okay body care, etc.
I've tried peacocking -- dressing a little flamboyantly or wearing something to attract attention -- gambits, games, number games, IOI's, IOD's, etc. etc. and got shot down dozens of times at bars and other places, and I've realized some things:
1) Once a girl is attracted to you, you can almost do anything and still get away with it. Case in point: A Thai girl I met at a bar was instantly attracted to me (you can usually tell if you're not completely dense) and I said some stupid stuff and told uninteresting gambits, but she still gave me her number.
2) You can run the stories / gambits / DHVs, but if you lack confidence and natural delivery, you'll come off as creepy. I've told stories and gotten rejection stares all too often.
3) In a high energy environment such as a bar, you NEED to have high energy as high as the group / girl you're approaching. No one likes people who drag their energy down. This is a sticking point for me -- I find it hard to fake having energy.
4) Don't get discouraged. Tell yourself it's just a game. People, especially women, look down on men thinking of picking up women as a "game", but it's really a euphemism designed to help us get over our insecurities. Think about it. You lose a Brood War match and yea, maybe you nerd rage for an hour but you can always start up another game and hone your skills. Or maybe you just never stop nerd raging. If that's the case, stop playing BW and get a life.
5) Women's natural instincts are to reject, especially at a locale where they are likely to be approached by a lot of guys. When they're thinking, "Oh, here's guy #142" they're not going to make nice. They're just gonna tell you to fuck off with their stares. Kind of like if you're a B level player on ICCup and you think, "Oh, here's my 5th D+ player opponent. GFG when am I going to get out of D+" But then if he turns out to be really good you wonder if he was a progamer and you start doing research (you're attracted). YOU WANT TO BE THAT PROGAMER APPROACHING A+/A/B LEVEL WOMEN WHO THINK YOU'RE D+ LEVEL
6) Don't be that "creepy" guy. I'm not going to bother defining creepy. If you're not dense, you should know what being creepy is. Hanging around for no reason, "hovering", trying to act cool while emitting the body language of an angry video game nerd, etc.
7) Think of yourself as the coolest guy you know. If you don't think so, why should others? Girls pick up on things like this pretty quickly. Like if you describe an event as being embarrassing, they're going to take your word for it, even if it WASN'T an embarrassing event. This is why delivery is so important. You can have the most epic tale, but if you tell it wrong, it might come off as being arrogant or wanting attention because you present it that way.
8) Rejection is normal. Think about how many times you get rejected in a day. Tons actually. It's just because you get rejected by a girl you want to hit that pisses you off. Think about how many times your friends ignore what you say (not because they mean it, but because other stimuli are in the area). Don't put the girl on a pedestal, don't try to please. Don't expect rejection but don't expect acceptance either.
I say all these things but it's not like I have them down completely. GFG I wish I was a PUA.
Thanks to the people providing advice, now we all need is some story to take place yo! ^_^ Like an experiment or real life experience. That would be awesome fail or success, especially if in detail! :p
EPT
(actually coming from Ricky Tatum)
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