As you can see in the title itself.. This is about us guys that are having a hard time getting a girlfriend or just flirting in the bar. I mean, yeah so this is the internet and it's 90 percent pure nerdlings that's actually reading stuff in wikipedia, TL.net or 4chan.
Well, I was inspired by kona and InC's discussion threads that's why I went for it. I already asked the "big boss" if he can help me out in providing incredible dating tips and how we can pick up women online or in the bar/supermarket/gym/wherever.
I myself, yeah I can say I was a frustrated chump within all my teenage years. They call me "boy busted" due to the amount of fail I had with women. Until I met the girl of my dreams. We've been dating for 4 years already and I am the most happiest dumbass you will every find!
Enough of me, so I just want to try to put as much order in the thread if it's okay.
So the simple rules are:
1) Make constructive criticism if you found some flaws in this thread or if you found that not everything works. Also try making a story of how you sarge in with all the women within a night!
2) If you have any great idea that you observed about women, go for it man! I mean, please provide all you insights and wonderful ideas that we nerdlings need to be able to pick up 8 to 10 rating women.
3) We will not be talking about girl problems here, we will remove all negative energies we fill about women. I mean this thread is about knowing all the cool stuff we can do with them. Like flirting, kissing them after just meeting them a few minutes, cuddling and stuff. Making little teddy bears, flying kites, checking out their armpits if they've grew hair already, etc.
4) We should not sexist in this thread. Yes, so we can use the power of seduction and shit but that doesn't mean we are going to be mean to them by posting (example: fuck those pussies, bitchies are all around my cock, my knowledge in the art of sucking tits is amazing right now so while I finger every single pussy in the universe) Please don't, yeah we can make civilized sex talk but not to the point that we are just being plain assholes in the making.
5) Last and not the least I guess is have fun discussing how you sarged, what type of technique you used to pick up the numbers. how did you fail and started back up, let us all keep the positive vibe in this room so we wouldn't have any negative thoughts about our women.
So there you go, with the long wall of text here are some observations that I'm going to share and have done in the past:
1) All women are really, really mushy deep down inside. While I was courting my girl back in the day, I remembered being so sweet via coffee from starbucks. So she was like having a boring class conversation and there I was, sweeping through the room with her mocha latte and all her classmates was like shocked and so impressed by the shit I've stormed in. (so this is really a plus points, and yeah remember that you should have a build a lot of rapport before doing this stunt)
2) When you meet someone new, like in a bar or something this really works out:
Wait are you an actress? then if she says no then keep on insisting that "Are you sure you aren't an actress because I've seen you in a commercial before" you have to have legendary confidence to pull out this stunt. This isn't really negging the girl; (negging:meaning -> to playfully insult (i don't know if it's the right term someone help me out) or tease the girl without her feeling offended. You are actually showering here with compliments without you looking like a desperate zergling clawing on your target:
here is a video example of this:
go to 2:49 in this video, notice how the girl is trying to get away from the creepy dude (who is an expert and instructor in picking up women), His stature and confidence in this one is legendary and is so textbook. Notice as well how he uses the power of touch in making the girl feel comfortable with him. He also insulted himself that he was really creepy with trying to meet up with her.
3) Well, this is already a wall of text so I'm just going to provide the most important part we all know:
PRACTICE!!!!
Yes, right practice is always perfect. So yeah, I know some of you are so skeptical that you will tell me within the night you will have 1 out of 10 numbers if you keep trying. But what if you made it a perfect 10 out 10 numbers in one night? wouldn't that make your life so awesome and so full of options?
So keep practing players and to give out more tips try visiting the following kennigit's blogs:
Anyway first I think you should edit the more abrasive things out of the OP, like the parenthetical statement where you try to confront any potential haters... That's just asking for trolls to come out of the woodwork. Don't say the whole "and many guys want to fight me now," thing, it just comes off as a lame brag. Just leave things that are relevant to the OP, maybe including your 4 year girlfriend that you are happy with and that's it. No facebook add me this nerdlings want to fight me that.
Other than that I think you covered a lot of good guidelines for the thread, now let's just hope that people are open to opening themselves in a public TL thread.
Okay it's time for me to give you some guidance in your life. You say you want bitches. You say you want skills. Well let me teach you how. Here are 10 steps to success:
1. Stop waking up early in the morning to play StarCraft
You wake up early to gather more pimples on your face from screen over-exposure, to ruin your posture by sitting slumped forward and staring at the computer. You work your little Asian hands fulltime, because between your 150 apm and masturbating with tweezers, you are well on your way to carpal tunnel syndrome.
2. Start working out.
Instead of playing SC in the morning, go out and run a mile, if you can make it that far. Do 100 sit-ups and 50 push ups every morning and every evening. If you can't do both in one sitting, you are weak and need to train more. If you can't do 100 sit-ups in a row, you have to do 70 twice. If you can't do that, you have to do 50 three times. Got it, kid? You want this girl, but you're a double-chin Asian in middle/high school. You're not going to get anywhere without a better physique, because teenagers are hormonal judgmental and superficial creatures.
3. Get a job.
If you get a job, or any form of income (working for parents/chores, selling drugs, prostitution, etc.), you will have money for the following things: girls, clothes, drugs, alcohol. Those are the only 4 things you need right now, if you want to get a girlfriend/get laid before you are 40. You need money. Get it. Doesn't matter how.
4. Get a new look.
I know your mentality, you think that you see a lot of kids in your school walking around in the same jeans everyday, only changing their T-shirt once in a while, and you think that it is acceptable for you to do the same. Wrong. You need to show some self-respect and grooming, otherwise girls are going to treat you like how you look, which is trash. Get yourself some trendy Hollister T-shirts, maybe a few American Eagle dress shirts, put them on top of a nice T, roll up the sleeves, and keep them untucked from your shorts (khaki shorts at Hollister are ~$25-35). When you become trendy, you get attention, if you can pull it off correctly. Then go to the hair salon, tell them to give you a better haircut than a grease-bowl. Something short that you can gel up and style is the best option.
5. Get educated.
Download or purchase the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Read it. Take the valuable information about social conduct out of it and apply it to real life. If your personality on TL is any indicator of your mental capabilities, social exposure, and understanding of decency, you need a LOT of help. Read this book, and read some real fucking books, not that 9th grade reading assignment shit. It will make you more mature, and more mature = more chicks. Do it.
6. Get some contacts (not for your vision, idiot).
Talk to girls. Talk to more girls. Hang out with girls. Get to know as many girls as possible. The more girls you know, the more options you have, the more experience dealing with girls you have, the more back-ups you have for when you inevitably fuck up on trying to hook up with one. Make sure to touch upon all the different social circles, because otherwise one girl will call her hofriends and let them know how you are a douchebag who tried to rape her at the movies. Get invited to parties, go to them, do something cool, and get invited to more until you are socially accepted.
7. Get a drug dealer.
Even if you don't do drugs (which you should, weed is the bomb), others will, and it's a way of socially connecting with others. Most girls who smoke are not those dirty hippies who fit the stoner stereotype - almost every attractive girl at my schools and other schools in the area smoke pot at parties. It doesn't have much long-term or short-term damage and it's worth the money.
8. Get a girlfriend.
At this point you should be fitter, more attractive, and more socially acceptable. Time to make a move. Getting a girlfriend in high school is easy as shit. It doesn't even have to be someone that attractive at first - just to make it clear that you can date and will date. Climb up the social ladder with every girl you date, going from 6/10 to 8.5/10 or so. I don't think you'll be able to go higher but 8.5 is decent. No fat or ugly chicks, every time you even look at one without a sneer it lowers your social value.
9. Cheat on girlfriend.
This only applies to the lower rating girls, but cheating on them is the best way to show that you are a badass and are willing to do shit. Other girls like this, as long as there is no prospect of you dating them. So, there are 3 types of girls (mini-lesson): Type A is girls you are dating to climb the social ladder, Type B is the girls you want to date (8.5 and up), Type C is the girls you would never date but would cheat on your girlfriend with. Keep abundant numbers of all three in your network until you are dating a Type B.
10. Play StarCraft instead of talking to girlfriend on the phone.
If she is not having sex with you or building up to having sex with you, there is no need for her presence outside of school. You already have to hang out with her and go to the movies and shit, there is no need for her to be taking up your time at home with some meaningless high school bullshit. Tell her you are busy during the day working, and use that time to play StarCraft and get better. This doesn't mean neglect her completely - keep up your game in person, but don't let her think you don't have anything to do all the day and you have the time/patience/whippedness to listen to her gossip on the phone. Oh, and posting blogs about SC is pointless, you should just play 2 more games instead of wasting people's time with your stupid blogs. Those 2 games give you more benefit than any blog ever will. Except maybe this one, because I wrote this guide to life in this one.
I am getting old in comparison to most posters so here is what I've learned.
1. Confidence is the most important thing. Sure there is that case where the hotty likes the super shy fumbling nervous nerd... but that is not realistic. When talking with a girl, it is very important that you don't look away or look down.. this makes you seem scared. Always look them in the eyes and smile when chatting.
2. Your raw physical appearance means very little, but having proper hygiene matters a lot. The unibrow or the mounds of hair on the nose are things you want to get rid of.. of course smelling nice without the empowering cologne smell is quite helpful.
3. Initiating the conversation is the hardest part, especially if you don't do it a lot. Being observant is key here. Depending on the situation... there is ALWAYS an easy conversation starter. For example, if you see a girl at the grocery store standing next to you and you want to flirt... observe what she is looking at. Expand this into a non aggressive intro line... something like.. simply smiling and saying "is that frozen steamer dinner good?, ive been meaning to try". This type of non aggressive intro line is everything, and you have a small window to either move on or progress the conversation. If she smiles and starts talking with you, here is your window to deepen the conversation by perhaps asking her about herself.. something like does she go to school around here (knowing when they have a boyfriend or just not interested is also important.. just move on champ there are more women!).
Just some observations that are expanded on in some links in the OP. Main thing is don't give up, smile, and speak with confidence (and don't be the scary stalker guy!).
Smiling is a big thing, just to add on to what Pufftrees said. When you walk into any place, a smile is enough to project confidence, even if you don't think anyone will notice. Same thing goes for going somewhere with a wingman (or just a friend for casual hanging out), if you both look confident, animated, interesting, it raises your apparent value. Seems like a small thing that is stupid but it's real.
Also, the people in the keys to the VIP room get laughed at by just about everyone on that forum. They're AFC's who rely on looks. Your idea of practically stalking a girl is awful. "I swear I've seen you before." You're just being weird, you aren't being confident, or anything else. Stick with what's proven to work. You don't even have to use openings like they use in MM (opinion openers). I mean, yeah, it helps to get started, but once you've internalized all the stuff in MM it's about how you react to people, not so much what you say. That's the whole point of MM, to understand what is going on and calibrate in response. MM is just a fast-forward button on your learning.
Also, check out Mehow if you want a pretty interesting take on things.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
EDIT: I just want to add in that I am NOT a PUA, I don't claim to be one, and I never have. I know what to do, and how to do it, but I don't always do it. AA paralyzes me a lot, and I rationalize why I shouldn't ask a girl. When I do the things I tell people to do, however, I get results.
You are so late to the PUA party, good god. You aren't going to get much help from any forum
It's all really bad stuff. It's basically the product of total nerds with absolutely no social skills trying to apply a formulaic approach to the social dynamic. You know those age old adages people use to go on about, things like "have confidence in yourself", "learn how to approach people" those are the key principles you should take away from your PUA bullshit you study and leave the rest out, because it's not good.
There's really so little to it, don't dress or look like shit, and get out there. Even the online dating thing Kennigit spoke about works from sheer volume. Think of all the people you run into and meet in your life, how many of them do you actually like? Dating is the exact same thing. You mash your square peg into the various geometric holes until it fits (sex also works similarly for you virgins out there)
You don't need the $$super system mystery codeword$$ to get into a girls pants you just need to not be a fuckin loser
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: You are so late to the PUA party, good god. You aren't going to get much help from any forum
First part true. Second part false.
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: It's all really bad stuff. It's basically the product of total nerds with absolutely no social skills trying to apply a formulaic approach to the social dynamic. You know those age old adages people use to go on about, things like "have confidence in yourself", "learn how to approach people" those are the key principles you should take away from your PUA bullshit you study and leave the rest out, because it's not good.
There is a lot of bullshit out there, true. There are also a lot of things that work. A lot of things that people can gain from a thread like this ARE common sense, like "have more confidence" that you mentioned. A lot of people, nerds or not, don't have enough confidence to be comfortable to be talking to a stranger, be it male or female. A lot of people don't even have the confidence to talk to girls that they are acquaintances with, which basically seals their fate in terms of potential relationships. However, just saying "get more confidence" is not enough - giving people a plan, an idea, a feeling like the know what they are doing. Even a few basic guidelines/exercises can help people to get out from behind their chair and go out there and TRY, something which they might never have done without the help of others.
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: There's really so little to it, don't dress or look like shit, and get out there. Even the online dating thing Kennigit spoke about works from sheer volume. Think of all the people you run into and meet in your life, how many of them do you actually like? Dating is the exact same thing. You mash your square peg into the various geometric holes until it fits (sex also works similarly for you virgins out there)
You don't need the $$super system mystery codeword$$ to get into a girls pants you just need to not be a fuckin loser
Once again, you do mention the most basic and obvious things that help a lot, but it's not just about physical preparedness, it's also about how good their mentality is. If someone asked you for advice, and you said "BE MORE CONFIDENT AND DON'T SMELL LIKE SHIT," they would be like "um okay" and would never have the tools they need to actually gain that confidence. Initial confidence for maybe one encounter is hard enough to muster for some people, what if they get ignored/shut down? Twice? Three times? People will actually being to lose confidence, feel helpless, and regress back into their shell. This is why discussion with people who have experience in this field helps. Like I said, even having a basic plan or one person who threw you a few lines of advice can be enough to get people out of their social holes.
The last few lines are lol but definitely true though.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
You have to feel the situation, and of course there isn't one "best" approach. But, if you initiate small talk, and then you are both smiling and engaged with each other, asking more personal questions are not out of the window.. and from my experiences the woman will appreciate it. Of course you don't want to ask things like.. So where do you live ?
I recently (2 years ago) moved from East Coast to California where I knew absolutely zero people, so nearly all of my dates have been from meeting women at random places... like the grocery store or gym etc. If they are smiling and chatting and show interest, I definitely still say ask questions to find out more about them, then you at least know if you even want to bother asking for their number etc.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
Okay if I deciphered what you are trying to say, you want to know if starting a conversation about yourself is a good way to break the ice. I'm going to say that recalling a joke about lettuce you said as a kid is a bad approach, you'd need some miracle to pull that one off (or the girl must be hammered, which is not the goal of this, right guys?). Talking about yourself is okay if it's interesting and relevant to what you are having a conversation about, but I'd still recommend keeping it brief. Like SweetLemons said, talking solely about her makes you a glaring red dot on her radar for predators, the guys who say what girls want to hear or who flatter them by trying to act interested in them only to fuck them. Your goal is to come under the radar. For that it's good to be a little random sometimes, but only if you make sense and are once again interesting.
First and foremost, realize than in order to be good with women, you have to be able to manipulate and use gender roles to your advantage. What this means is that everyone has a picture of what a man and a woman is like and if you display manly traits in the right way, women will pick up on this. Alot of PUA stuff is based on Mysterys old assumptions of what women like in men, which are based on gender roles. We're talking "protector of loved ones", independent, careless etc.
I would say I'm naturally quite good with women, and it might be because I have two sisters or whatever but I get along with women good most of the time. I think a sensibility towards people and being somewhat emotional helps alot in this, because women are very emotional and therefor seek emotional rapport and connection with others. You will need to be curious about others and respect women. Genuine likeability doesn't come from looking down on women and believing they are all whores, but to actually like women. This shines through becuase you will feel more at ease at around women and you will actually be interested in what they have to say.
So, talk to women and be interested in what they have to say but don't be interested in THEM right off the bat. You will want to suddenly go "oh well it was great talking to you, I'm gonna go talk to my friends a bit now" like talking to her ain't a biggie. Behave like discussion in general appeals to you; this will display two things: 1) You are socially competent and women like guys that can behave in public 2) You aren't showing that much interest in her specifically but rather you talk with alot of people, although you like talking to her as well.
Women aren't as sensitive as many guys think. She doesn't break or gets devastated that easily, she isn't made of glass no matter how feminine she seems. Women seem to be MUCH better at handling physical pain in general than guys and rarely complain alot when they hurt, probably because they are used to it. Monthly stomach aches and what not.
Don't be afraid to be frank about the fact that you find her attractive. Actually a frank comment like "I am attracted to you" with an easy smile just before you tell her that you will go talk to someone else can work wonders. Have the girl come chase you, not the other way around.
Learn to read peoples body language, what they say and HOW they say it. If you have good social competence I guess you are probably already somewhat good with women. Never EVER be desperate for a woman, like she would be your only choice unless you are already together. If you are already together, stop the player vibe and love your woman. Never be a crybaby or wuss about things, no one, even guys like people who just complain all the time and are scared about everything.
Things that scare you are things you should do just because they make you feel fucking alive and it's the best feeling in the world.
Hm what else...oh yeah, don't think too much. Be natural and don't overdo anything. Women look alot more at guys personalities than one would think. We are used to looking at womens face, boobs and ass and there are probably many biological reasons for this. Women look for a guy who can stand up for himself and has traits that she (and most of women) find attractive. Developing a personality will do much more for you than get a super-hot gym body. Believe that!
Be well-groomed. Clean clothes ALWAYS. Cut your nails, use a facial body lotion; they are cheap and makes your skin alot better. Brush your teeth, have decent hair. A pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt can be great, it's not that important. It's how you carry your clothes. Always walk with a fucking straight back and never ever ever ever slouch. Read the last sentence again. Look into peoples eyes no matter how uncomfortable it may be for you (seems to be for many people). Seeking eye contact and holding it although it's hard, will also help you if you have social anxiety of any degree, because you aren't looking away and imagining everyone laughing at your silly old self. You actually notice what's going on and that no ones laughing.
Finally, laugh alot and don't take meeting women so seriously. Of course you can easily get away with being laidback and not give a fuck if you are Brad Pitt or look like a greek god but like I said it's not THAT important to women with looks. It's how you carry yourself and what your personality is like that matters.
From having tried some of Mystery's PUA Method and some other semi-ridiculous methods that they advocate on TV shows and popular internet websites, I have to say -- it's really all about your inner game once you have okay clothes, okay body care, etc.
I've tried peacocking -- dressing a little flamboyantly or wearing something to attract attention -- gambits, games, number games, IOI's, IOD's, etc. etc. and got shot down dozens of times at bars and other places, and I've realized some things:
1) Once a girl is attracted to you, you can almost do anything and still get away with it. Case in point: A Thai girl I met at a bar was instantly attracted to me (you can usually tell if you're not completely dense) and I said some stupid stuff and told uninteresting gambits, but she still gave me her number.
2) You can run the stories / gambits / DHVs, but if you lack confidence and natural delivery, you'll come off as creepy. I've told stories and gotten rejection stares all too often.
3) In a high energy environment such as a bar, you NEED to have high energy as high as the group / girl you're approaching. No one likes people who drag their energy down. This is a sticking point for me -- I find it hard to fake having energy.
4) Don't get discouraged. Tell yourself it's just a game. People, especially women, look down on men thinking of picking up women as a "game", but it's really a euphemism designed to help us get over our insecurities. Think about it. You lose a Brood War match and yea, maybe you nerd rage for an hour but you can always start up another game and hone your skills. Or maybe you just never stop nerd raging. If that's the case, stop playing BW and get a life.
5) Women's natural instincts are to reject, especially at a locale where they are likely to be approached by a lot of guys. When they're thinking, "Oh, here's guy #142" they're not going to make nice. They're just gonna tell you to fuck off with their stares. Kind of like if you're a B level player on ICCup and you think, "Oh, here's my 5th D+ player opponent. GFG when am I going to get out of D+" But then if he turns out to be really good you wonder if he was a progamer and you start doing research (you're attracted). YOU WANT TO BE THAT PROGAMER APPROACHING A+/A/B LEVEL WOMEN WHO THINK YOU'RE D+ LEVEL
6) Don't be that "creepy" guy. I'm not going to bother defining creepy. If you're not dense, you should know what being creepy is. Hanging around for no reason, "hovering", trying to act cool while emitting the body language of an angry video game nerd, etc.
7) Think of yourself as the coolest guy you know. If you don't think so, why should others? Girls pick up on things like this pretty quickly. Like if you describe an event as being embarrassing, they're going to take your word for it, even if it WASN'T an embarrassing event. This is why delivery is so important. You can have the most epic tale, but if you tell it wrong, it might come off as being arrogant or wanting attention because you present it that way.
8) Rejection is normal. Think about how many times you get rejected in a day. Tons actually. It's just because you get rejected by a girl you want to hit that pisses you off. Think about how many times your friends ignore what you say (not because they mean it, but because other stimuli are in the area). Don't put the girl on a pedestal, don't try to please. Don't expect rejection but don't expect acceptance either.
I say all these things but it's not like I have them down completely. GFG I wish I was a PUA.
Thanks to the people providing advice, now we all need is some story to take place yo! ^_^ Like an experiment or real life experience. That would be awesome fail or success, especially if in detail! :p
All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
I would say no. She doesn't care, she doesn't know you enough to care. You have to be interesting. People who say be confident, smile, etc, are all right, but you can be all of that and still be boring. You have to be interesting. Personally, I'm fucking off the walls most of the time, and for whatever reason, girls like that (I assume because things I do seem so random, and thus it's interesting to be around me to see what will happen next. They aren't random, though, everything I do has a perfectly logical progression).
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
There's so much I want to say to this, because I agree and disagree, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say it. MM helps create a new you. That's what faking it till you make it means. The problem with being yourself is that the current you sucks, and that's why you're socially inept. The idea of MM, and most people who start with MM grow out of it and become better people because of it, is to teach you how to not be socially inept. You become someone new. The idea isn't to stay in the beginning stages of it, it's to evolve beyond the Jealous GF opener, and so on. But, it's terrifying to do that on your own, and figure it out on your own. MM is training wheels for social success. Once you realize you can be socially successful you can take the training wheels off. You can't ride a bike if you don't know how to pedal, and MM teaches you how to pedal.
EDIT: Not aimed at anyone particularly, but every time I come across someone who says MM is bullshit, you don't need it, etc. They're almost always the guy sitting in the corner by themselves, and bitching about how their life sucks.
Thanks to the people providing advice, now we all need is some story to take place yo! ^_^ Like an experiment or real life experience. That would be awesome fail or success, especially if in detail! :p
I've been inspired by and tried PUA stuff alot of times IRL, and basically what I wrote above is how I would sum up being successful with women. You gotta understand that it's also a matter of cultural preference, meaning that with tough LA women will need more of o shocking quality that grabs their attention and in cultures where modesty is a virtue, you will need to do this in a different way.
One simple thing: Find your true passion and follow it Live the life you desire Live on Purpose Be the best man you can be Become better each day _______________________________________
Each of you has at this point of your lives exactly what you deserve. If you know you deserve better you will go and get it cause it is your birthright _________________________________________ Advice on what to stop: Throw away your TV. Stop playing stupid video games. I watch SC Vods but not compulsively like many do. Many of you substitute real joy and fun for a fucking 15 inch screen, mouse and a keyboard. How can you spend you whole life posting on freaking web? AGAIN on passion: STARCRAFT is great to follow but make sure you are not substituting better joy and fun. DO not lie to yourself What would you pick do to for the rest of your life: Actually interact in real time with people in social setting and hang out with beautiful women and girlfriend Or Be and Internet Nerds
Again it is perfectly fine to watch SC or to play it one a week or even once a day for a bit but again do not substitute and do not kid yourself. I truly believe that on TL some people are passionate about E-Sports and it is their craft - that is different from fucking time wasting. ________________________________________ Advice on what to do: Work Out Pick Clothes that represent you, real you! Not some random BS. (not about money). Do activities that challenge you and you are passionate about Love yourself and other people Instead of taking, focus on providing Get your life together, you know specifics _____________________________________ Advice on what to avoid: Avoid fake bs like Mystery Those are nerds who found a good shield and a cheat code to beat the game. Don't kid yourself, if you use gimmicks and routines - you will get results but you will still be a nerd who only pretends Again imagine you play against Jaedong and instead of actually getting better to where you can be equal to him - you just use "power overwhelming". That is not ethical, nor it is true skill and mastery + you will walk around scared that people will find out that you really suck NOOB 0-111-1 Dressing like an idiot or over-the-top just cause book said so or to get attention if stupid AGAIN AVOID CANNED BS, BE YOUR BEST SELF TAKE RISKS ________________________ FOLLOW YOUR HEART ! LIVE WITH PASSION!
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
I agree with you. I did read on techniques but never used them because it is fucking ridiculous and my heart told me it was not right at all. I've met a guy who was studying The Game - gosh man. He is like out of this world weird. Normal nerds are fine but he was like weird and creeped me out. Fucking cyborgs They actually have no real power at all and walk around all insecure.
Thanks to the people providing advice, now we all need is some story to take place yo! ^_^ Like an experiment or real life experience. That would be awesome fail or success, especially if in detail! :p
I've been inspired by and tried PUA stuff alot of times IRL, and basically what I wrote above is how I would sum up being successful with women. You gotta understand that it's also a matter of cultural preference, meaning that with tough LA women will need more of o shocking quality that grabs their attention and in cultures where modesty is a virtue, you will need to do this in a different way.
Yes, Culture is different and Locations do affect it - up to a point. Once you really have it - you can go to any country or any location and be successful. Knowing who you are helps a ton. So yes - we can write books on how to treat woman based on where they from or we can be so rooted in ourselves that we only attract what we want.
Seriously guys, once you really have it. The problem will be not to make girls fall in love with you because if you know you don't like them - why mess with their feelings?
Go for the ones you like or at least find attractive. And do as many random things as possible + travel.
Your whole way of being is being communicated. Words are overrated. Your whole way of who you are is always being conveyed to people. Can't you sense it.
I can with great accuracy look at a person and see if he is truly successful with women or faking it. I can also see that if he is a lover and a great seducer VS random lame ass who gets drunk chicks or a jerk who might get women but really causes havoc in their lives instead of adding to them.
Same with women - you can feel women who are real and authentic vs the ones who are really insecure and just hide.
dun dun dun, so much nerd ego in one thread. If you are reading this you should a) ignore everyone in this thread b) read read watch watch all those books/audio series/videos but dont subscribe to any particular "method".....you will see the running trends of what is essential (confidence etc) but you dont need to be writing down pick up lines and bullshit. that is all.
Take this from a guy who has taken a bootcamp, and dabbled in the PUA community. Don't buy into it. All you need to get girls: good social skills (takes practice, go out, talk to people, read some books about social skills, one or two is enough -- it's a skill... you learn it by practicing), and your own life (your own sense of who you are independently of any one else's opinion of you... which is the foundation for self-confidence that doesn't depend on the validation of ANYONE).
GOOD GOD! DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY OR YOUR TIME looking for the next GURU to tell you how you should talk, what you should do. Ultimately it's going to take your own self-motivation and your own intelligence to improve your life. Moreover: re-evaluate why you are even INTERESTED in PUA. Do you really just want to have sex with an endless stream of random women? Is this even a realistic goal? Would you really feel fulfilled if you achieved this goal? Anyway... you have been warned. Get your own life.
Those are the only things you every have to think about when you are talking to girls. Thats it. It's that easy, that simple, and no amount of 'body posture' 'lines' 'cocky and funny' 'bootcamps' 'or PUA' is going to help you. Just be you. Don't be someone that is just trying to get a number- these 'masters' are a fucking joke, and all of these 'styles' into picking up women is ridiculous.
God i don't understand why people cannot figure it out. If you are really shy and or don't know where to start, get a wing man. I have done it countless times for my friends, and really it's tones of fun.
It isn't women I have problem with; It is having my best friend being too attractive and setting my standards for women too damn high. fffffffffff By Standards, I meant general intelligence and open mindness.
On August 29 2009 05:23 tyanvit wrote: Your whole way of being is being communicated. Words are overrated. Your whole way of who you are is always being conveyed to people. Can't you sense it.
I can with great accuracy look at a person and see if he is truly successful with women or faking it. I can also see that if he is a lover and a great seducer VS random lame ass who gets drunk chicks or a jerk who might get women but really causes havoc in their lives instead of adding to them.
Same with women - you can feel women who are real and authentic vs the ones who are really insecure and just hide.
Good advice here. I've read it all. Neil Strauss, Juggler method, pickup 101, David Deangelo, RSD, etc. I probably have 40 gigz of DVDs, cds, and ebooks of this garbage on my hd. Biiiggg waste of time. The bottom line is, people have been getting laid for thousands of years, it really isn't rocket science (Though there isn't just ONE thing that will attract women). Once you put into place certain "magnets" in your life, you WILL consistently attract women. Once you become successful with them it'll be replicable once these magnets are set into place.
WTF am I talking about? For one. Get a life! You need a life to bring women into in the first place. Girl's don't WANT to be the adventure... They don't want to be your sole purpose of living. They want to be swept into YOUR adventure. How can this happen if you live in your parents house, you never go out and you don't have any hobbies? You don't have to be a star athlete or go skydiving but find yourself. You have to be GREEDY and find what lights a fire in your belly. And then do those activities, often. (Of course this comes with a caveat, if playing WoW 16 hours a day does this for you, then you're in trouble, you attract what you project).
Once you fix your lifestyle, you've solved 80% of your problem. This is your macro. You just need to fix micro now. Understanding what women want, Conversational skills, body language, your vocal tonality, your eye contact, how you lead the interaction, turning things sexual, your fun vibe. 90% of this (including lifestyle) is nonverbal. It's quite simple.
i know this kid in my school who does that shit, and its creepy as hell. He goes to a random girl on the bus and start opening up retarded creepy topics... i suggest no one try it.
I disagree with pufftrees #3. Small-talk is a DLV. Asking about her that quickly is also a DLV. You're begging for rapport by asking her about herself, and no man of real value with try to gain rapport so quickly.
Does talking about the joys grade school work? Like for example just met the girl then after instead of asking about herself just talk about "I remember making a joke about a lettuce when i was a kid and it was a riot..." Some thing like that... if you get my drift cause I have a hard time expressing myself in english most of the time hehehe...
I would say no. She doesn't care, she doesn't know you enough to care. You have to be interesting. People who say be confident, smile, etc, are all right, but you can be all of that and still be boring. You have to be interesting. Personally, I'm fucking off the walls most of the time, and for whatever reason, girls like that (I assume because things I do seem so random, and thus it's interesting to be around me to see what will happen next. They aren't random, though, everything I do has a perfectly logical progression).
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
There's so much I want to say to this, because I agree and disagree, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say it. MM helps create a new you. That's what faking it till you make it means. The problem with being yourself is that the current you sucks, and that's why you're socially inept. The idea of MM, and most people who start with MM grow out of it and become better people because of it, is to teach you how to not be socially inept. You become someone new. The idea isn't to stay in the beginning stages of it, it's to evolve beyond the Jealous GF opener, and so on. But, it's terrifying to do that on your own, and figure it out on your own. MM is training wheels for social success. Once you realize you can be socially successful you can take the training wheels off. You can't ride a bike if you don't know how to pedal, and MM teaches you how to pedal.
EDIT: Not aimed at anyone particularly, but every time I come across someone who says MM is bullshit, you don't need it, etc. They're almost always the guy sitting in the corner by themselves, and bitching about how their life sucks.
Yeah I agree with that. It's not about the training wheels, it's about learning to pedal.
So yeah, it may not actually be a bad thing, as long the person doesn't cling to the training wheels.
On August 29 2009 05:23 tyanvit wrote: Your whole way of being is being communicated. Words are overrated. Your whole way of who you are is always being conveyed to people. Can't you sense it.
I can with great accuracy look at a person and see if he is truly successful with women or faking it. I can also see that if he is a lover and a great seducer VS random lame ass who gets drunk chicks or a jerk who might get women but really causes havoc in their lives instead of adding to them.
Same with women - you can feel women who are real and authentic vs the ones who are really insecure and just hide.
This is the best site about game, the nature of women, and how social changes over the past few years are affecting society and the ways genders relate to each other: http://roissy.wordpress.com/
It was linked in the infamous Floofy Looks vs Game thread on lp, it's lifechanging though, excellent reading. Mystery wrote him an email a few days ago because the blog writer made fun of Mystery for his retarded song.
On August 29 2009 03:39 floor exercise wrote: You are so late to the PUA party, good god...
I agree 100% with floor exercise here. This style of meeting women is so common now it's not even funny. I stopped reading/listening to this PUA stuff a long time ago because every guy is now trying to do this. PUA is becoming the norm and I think that pretty soon the PUA guy will become the average joe.
While some of the tips are good (the body language parts are spot on and really good to know), a lot of them really are just manipulation tricks. Sure it's ok if you want a one-night-stand, but if you are looking for a relationship, I wouldn't recommend reading this stuff. This is b/c let's say you do this technique or w/e with some chick you meet at a club, and she is interested and you are going on a date. Now you can't really use these techniques b/c in a relationship a guy should show his real personality (why the hell would he be in the relationship in the first place). This is what made me realize that PUA techniques will get you to TALK to a girl initially, but don't KEEP a girl.
Anyway, my point is, yes meeting girls is great and it's good to practice and learn etc., but I think in the long-run it's just better to be yourself and have fun and do whatever you feel like, rather than learn these techniques. I think a girl can also pick up on positive energy like this, rather than openers and closers and what to do with a 2/3/4-set etc..
Plus I found that when I was trying to learn these techniques, I actually had MORE approach anxiety than when I didn't bother with these techniques because I was always worried whether or not I was making a right move, and as a result I really didn't have that much fun because I was so concerned about the right move, which is ridiculous because meeting girls should be fun.
On August 29 2009 05:52 YPang wrote: i know this kid in my school who does that shit, and its creepy as hell. He goes to a random girl on the bus and start opening up retarded creepy topics... i suggest no one try it.
If you are in high school it's creepy/weird, but if you are in university/out of school it's a very normal way to meet people.
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap.
some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints?
i have The Game , havent read it yet
im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are:
1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold
i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him
(btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired)
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
There's so much I want to say to this, because I agree and disagree, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say it. MM helps create a new you. That's what faking it till you make it means. The problem with being yourself is that the current you sucks, and that's why you're socially inept. The idea of MM, and most people who start with MM grow out of it and become better people because of it, is to teach you how to not be socially inept. You become someone new. The idea isn't to stay in the beginning stages of it, it's to evolve beyond the Jealous GF opener, and so on. But, it's terrifying to do that on your own, and figure it out on your own. MM is training wheels for social success. Once you realize you can be socially successful you can take the training wheels off. You can't ride a bike if you don't know how to pedal, and MM teaches you how to pedal.
EDIT: Not aimed at anyone particularly, but every time I come across someone who says MM is bullshit, you don't need it, etc. They're almost always the guy sitting in the corner by themselves, and bitching about how their life sucks.
I agree with both of these posts, in a way.
Personally, I found that if you spend enough time doing what a confident guy would do, and telling yourself "a confident guy wouldn't think like this so I won't either", then over time you can actually stop feeling anxious. My personal theory is that your mind just gets into a habit of thinking confident thoughts instead of anxious ones when you think about girls.
On the other hand, this whole idea of trying to hook up with as many girls as possible... I don't see this as building real confidence.
Instead, I would suggest going out, meeting women, and then NOT trying to pick them up: just having a really good time with them without hitting on them. To me, the fact that you're completely content to just have a good time with her, with no pressure or reason to hook-up with her: that takes real confidence.
And in my experience, girls can tell when you're secure with yourself like this, and it makes a big difference compared to a guy who's always trying to get a girl.
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints?
i have The Game , havent read it yet
im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are:
1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold
i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him
(btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired)
Well u can do all those things but u might as well feel the same in the inside.Nose job etc can work but i'm clueless so i will not give any advice regarding those subjects.
Even if you go to university or get a job, u can still be that guy who sits at the corner and talks to no one. If u really want to increase your level of "life maturity" just tell urself, despite being i dont know, a nerd, socially excluded, not having friends. No one will know you at university or work. Hey no one knows me, i can start from scratch i can be friendly with everyone, i can give a good first impression. DO SO.
Another thing, looks aren't really that important haven't u seen a really hot hot chick with a fugly guy? this happens alot. If you think of yourself as this ugly guy who girls woul never look, or talk to people will actually see you that way. If u act like a regular guy, and talk to people without thinking to urself god im ugly hopes shes not thinking the same etc, u'll win.
Work out is a MUST, i belive ur rather skinny, and like most skinny people, when u say i want to work out you mean getting big. U can do that or u can be smarter, ur body fat is probably small, so getting abs will be ALOT faster for u and easier, go to the gym, and eventually ull get bigger but ull have a great 6 pack body fast.
Hopes this helps and sorry for any grammar/spelling mistake
be yourself. if you're a hardcore starcraft nerd and that's your whole life and that makes you happy, then do that. if that doesn't make you happy, you'll change your behaviors and lifestyle accordingly automatically. I'm well familiar with 'the game' and I think all the language and codewords they use is some of the nerdiest, most awkward shit I've ever heard. those kinda guys started dressing differently and socializing because they were frustrated with their lame ordinary lives. there's a reason most people near the end of their life are generally satisfied with how they lived because you are going to live the way you want to anyway, you make your own choices.
if you want to look good yeah work out, it sends a good message and you'll feel better. but don't live your entire life trying to just impress the opposite sex. that makes you a tool. yeah getting girls is fun but it should just be a natural extension of being a dude...
Where's my thread with advice upon how to pick up 8 to 10 rated men HUH? WHERE IS IT? Oh no wait.....now all I do is watch StarCraft and watch KRN BYZ (Rock) LIPSYNC SONGS.
On August 29 2009 04:58 niteReloaded wrote: All of this is bullcrap. I've spent the last 1-2 years looking into materials of David D. and other 'artists' and what I realized is while what they say is true, their way of getting there is completely wrong.
- You can't get to a real place by faking - You will have some success by faking, but the girl you want to settle down one day will be the one you don't have to fake in front
Once you REALLY realize that you don't NEED girls, and you just let stuff happen, you can be free of any stupid agendas and be happy.
PUA stuff is just not the real deal, the sooner you realize the better. Or you can study it and come to the same conclusions as me.
Think of it as Oracle talking to Neo; you hear what you need to hear, doesn't mean that the content is relevant.
There's so much I want to say to this, because I agree and disagree, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say it. MM helps create a new you. That's what faking it till you make it means. The problem with being yourself is that the current you sucks, and that's why you're socially inept. The idea of MM, and most people who start with MM grow out of it and become better people because of it, is to teach you how to not be socially inept. You become someone new. The idea isn't to stay in the beginning stages of it, it's to evolve beyond the Jealous GF opener, and so on. But, it's terrifying to do that on your own, and figure it out on your own. MM is training wheels for social success. Once you realize you can be socially successful you can take the training wheels off. You can't ride a bike if you don't know how to pedal, and MM teaches you how to pedal.
EDIT: Not aimed at anyone particularly, but every time I come across someone who says MM is bullshit, you don't need it, etc. They're almost always the guy sitting in the corner by themselves, and bitching about how their life sucks.
I agree with both of these posts, in a way.
Personally, I found that if you spend enough time doing what a confident guy would do, and telling yourself "a confident guy wouldn't think like this so I won't either", then over time you can actually stop feeling anxious. My personal theory is that your mind just gets into a habit of thinking confident thoughts instead of anxious ones when you think about girls.
On the other hand, this whole idea of trying to hook up with as many girls as possible... I don't see this as building real confidence.
Instead, I would suggest going out, meeting women, and then NOT trying to pick them up: just having a really good time with them without hitting on them. To me, the fact that you're completely content to just have a good time with her, with no pressure or reason to hook-up with her: that takes real confidence.
And in my experience, girls can tell when you're secure with yourself like this, and it makes a big difference compared to a guy who's always trying to get a girl.
To the bold: Yes, that's actually very basic psychology: cognitive dissonance. And you'll either adjust your behaviors, or your way of thinking in order to make them cohesive.
To the rest, I agree, pretty much.
On August 29 2009 11:41 NeverGG wrote: Where's my thread with advice upon how to pick up 8 to 10 rated men HUH? WHERE IS IT? Oh no wait.....now all I do is watch StarCraft and watch KRN BYZ (Rock) LIPSYNC SONGS.
Be hot, they'll come to you eventually. Then be interesting. A hot girl who isn't interesting is as bad as an ugly girl.
And what's with everyone laughing at everyone who's talking in this thread? Personally (aside from the "be yourself" people, because I've never come across someone who says "be yourself and play video games all the time," who is also socially successful), I think of this as showing that there are a lot of ways to get women. You have to become yourself, because if you're unhappy with where you are in life (which is why you look to pick up), then your current self sucks, and you don't want to "be yourself" anymore. So become the person you want to be. It's not easy, and some times it's scary. You may lose friends that you think are really awesome and close. It's a part of life. Don't let things distract you from your goals. Protect your dreams, and don't let anyone take them from you. If you came to this thread looking for advice on women, you're not following your dreams. Stop being scared and do something about it. Or live your life miserably and cry about it for the rest of your days on the earth. It's never going to be handed to you, and there's always going to be naysayers trying to tear you down: run them over, and leave them behind. Become who you want to be.
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints?
i have The Game , havent read it yet
im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are:
1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold
i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him
(btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired)
You're already fucked. You gotta go Hitch mode baby. SHOCK AND AWE BABY. will smith said it will work.
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints?
i have The Game , havent read it yet
im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are:
1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold
i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him
(btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired)
Wow.
Go ahead and do those things (job/plastic surgery/etc.) if you think you'll feel better about yourself, but you're approaching this ass-backwards.
Women honestly don't give a fuck if you're a virgin or not as long as as long as you bring your passion for life (i.e. be yourself) into the relationship. You can be more attractive right now simply by thinking you are.
What PUA stuff does for you is that it gives you concrete actions which are associated with "being attractive," so you feel more attractive when you're out there. When you're working at getting techniques down what you're really doing is adjusting your mindset towards being attractive. In the end it's a waste of money if you keep throwing it away looking for more techniques.
You can start to gain emotional maturity by taking responsibility for how you lead your life. Don't go around expecting other people will hold the key to your happiness, because you're supposed to be in charge of yourself.
Last piece of advice - give up on this girl you're friends with, or at least start doing shit you like with or without her. Chances are you can probably find someone better.
On August 29 2009 11:41 NeverGG wrote: Where's my thread with advice upon how to pick up 8 to 10 rated men HUH?
It's simple: be secure with yourself and show them that you can take care of yourself -- physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally. That'll put you miles ahead of the competition. Then, you just have to hope that you're interesting to the guy and vice-versa.
A Four Part series to teach you how to win girls through the Japanese Tradition (Brought to you by the Japanese Culture Lab). Complete with theory, and actual footage of how the theory works out in real life.
I dont want to reply to this thread but I cant hold myself! Girls are easy. 1) they always have a general idea of what you are going to do next 2) if you dont have confidence, fake it, then you have it. 3) the best way to pick up girls is to totally forget about the fact you are talking/picking up a girl and just be yourself with a nice little twist of costantly reminding her you dont care what she is or does.
On August 29 2009 19:39 BloodDrunK wrote: i've been rejected by every single woman i've ever asked out and have rejected every single woman who has ever asked me out.
karma is a bitch
most of the advice in this thread is pretty messed up.. stuff like confidence and etc works but honestly, stop trying, and you will probably achieve the best results
fuck PUA. really, why would you wanna try all that bullshit?
just go out and start talkin. who cares if you cant talk to girls well at first? there's a beginning stage for everything. It's something that will come more naturally and easier the more you do it.
and probably the most important tip is be funny. really. especially if you meet a new girl try to make her laugh, subtly, don't make it stupidly-obvious that you're trying to say some kinda joke to get her laugh. be genuine, and if you can be that and make her laugh she'll probably atleast have some liking in you. # is easy after that
I agree that fear of failure is ten times out of ten the reason why intelligent but inverted people say " Oh well I'm gonna wait/I don't wanna be one of those people/I have high standards/Blah-blah-blah".
I mean, if you had to try to help one of your friends score a chick, you'd probably say similar things
be funny don't be needy dress well
The PUA community simply put names to these things (DHV, don't DLV, peacock). There is a need to label and be precise about certain methods. How are you going to teach anyone? It really doesn't help if you say "BE CONFIDENT" or "BE FUNNY".
On August 29 2009 03:59 Foucault wrote: First and foremost, realize than in order to be good with women, you have to be able to manipulate and use gender roles to your advantage. What this means is that everyone has a picture of what a man and a woman is like and if you display manly traits in the right way, women will pick up on this. Alot of PUA stuff is based on Mysterys old assumptions of what women like in men, which are based on gender roles. We're talking "protector of loved ones", independent, careless etc.
I would say I'm naturally quite good with women, and it might be because I have two sisters or whatever but I get along with women good most of the time. I think a sensibility towards people and being somewhat emotional helps alot in this, because women are very emotional and therefor seek emotional rapport and connection with others. You will need to be curious about others and respect women. Genuine likeability doesn't come from looking down on women and believing they are all whores, but to actually like women. This shines through becuase you will feel more at ease at around women and you will actually be interested in what they have to say.
So, talk to women and be interested in what they have to say but don't be interested in THEM right off the bat. You will want to suddenly go "oh well it was great talking to you, I'm gonna go talk to my friends a bit now" like talking to her ain't a biggie. Behave like discussion in general appeals to you; this will display two things: 1) You are socially competent and women like guys that can behave in public 2) You aren't showing that much interest in her specifically but rather you talk with alot of people, although you like talking to her as well.
Women aren't as sensitive as many guys think. She doesn't break or gets devastated that easily, she isn't made of glass no matter how feminine she seems. Women seem to be MUCH better at handling physical pain in general than guys and rarely complain alot when they hurt, probably because they are used to it. Monthly stomach aches and what not.
Don't be afraid to be frank about the fact that you find her attractive. Actually a frank comment like "I am attracted to you" with an easy smile just before you tell her that you will go talk to someone else can work wonders. Have the girl come chase you, not the other way around.
Learn to read peoples body language, what they say and HOW they say it. If you have good social competence I guess you are probably already somewhat good with women. Never EVER be desperate for a woman, like she would be your only choice unless you are already together. If you are already together, stop the player vibe and love your woman. Never be a crybaby or wuss about things, no one, even guys like people who just complain all the time and are scared about everything.
Things that scare you are things you should do just because they make you feel fucking alive and it's the best feeling in the world.
Hm what else...oh yeah, don't think too much. Be natural and don't overdo anything. Women look alot more at guys personalities than one would think. We are used to looking at womens face, boobs and ass and there are probably many biological reasons for this. Women look for a guy who can stand up for himself and has traits that she (and most of women) find attractive. Developing a personality will do much more for you than get a super-hot gym body. Believe that!
Be well-groomed. Clean clothes ALWAYS. Cut your nails, use a facial body lotion; they are cheap and makes your skin alot better. Brush your teeth, have decent hair. A pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt can be great, it's not that important. It's how you carry your clothes. Always walk with a fucking straight back and never ever ever ever slouch. Read the last sentence again. Look into peoples eyes no matter how uncomfortable it may be for you (seems to be for many people). Seeking eye contact and holding it although it's hard, will also help you if you have social anxiety of any degree, because you aren't looking away and imagining everyone laughing at your silly old self. You actually notice what's going on and that no ones laughing.
Finally, laugh alot and don't take meeting women so seriously. Of course you can easily get away with being laidback and not give a fuck if you are Brad Pitt or look like a greek god but like I said it's not THAT important to women with looks. It's how you carry yourself and what your personality is like that matters.
That's all for now, good luck.
My lord, what garbage. Such simplistic, generic nonsense.
OP, if you are truly searching for advice on such a topic here then your case is hopeless.
On September 01 2009 18:36 Garnet wrote: Noob question, but what is "MM"?
Or DLV or PUA?? :p and whats with all the books and theory on how to get girls? :p I didn't know that was a "science" ? :p Is that really popular? Or common?
You silly guys
Although I have to say I'm interested in all this pseudo crap and Best pickupline ever : "Why hello there" (if you ask me)
You know what always annoyed me about this stuff? It's so... not thorough. It only covers one thing, really: how to approach a girl in public. What about the rest of the process? Whether you want a girlfriend or you just want something physical, getting a number is only the first small step.
Personally, I have few problems approaching girls, starting conversations, being confident in public, etc. Embarrassingly enough, the situation where I suck the most is after I get a girl alone in my room with the obvious subtext of "okay this is the part where we hook up." I must be looking at it in a fundamentally wrong way, because for the life of me I just cannot transition from "haha how funny was that guy at the bar" to physical intimacy. Am I supposed to just blurt out "baby let's take off our clothes and get nasty" or what?
After 5-10 minutes of some idle chatter and some awkward silence, it's just too late... she gives me a sad look that says, "I wanted this to happen, but I guess it's not going to," then it's over. GG. You have no idea how frustrating it is to consistently get so close and fail so bad. Every time I've actually succeeded it's because the girl was drunk, told me to shutup, and basically raped me.
On September 12 2009 10:48 Courthead wrote: You know what always annoyed me about this stuff? It's so... not thorough. It only covers one thing, really: how to approach a girl in public. What about the rest of the process? Whether you want a girlfriend or you just want something physical, getting a number is only the first small step.
Personally, I have few problems approaching girls, starting conversations, being confident in public, etc. Embarrassingly enough, the situation where I suck the most is after I get a girl alone in my room with the obvious subtext of "okay this is the part where we hook up." I must be looking at it in a fundamentally wrong way, because for the life of me I just cannot transition from "haha how funny was that guy at the bar" to physical intimacy. Am I supposed to just blurt out "baby let's take off our clothes and get nasty" or what?
After 5-10 minutes of some idle chatter and some awkward silence, it's just too late... she gives me a sad look that says, "I wanted this to happen, but I guess it's not going to," then it's over. GG. You have no idea how frustrating it is to consistently get so close and fail so bad. Every time I've actually succeeded it's because the girl was drunk, told me to shutup, and basically raped me.
Any advice?
Make sure you don't just get into the room and start chatting about random stuff from across the room. That's going to make it very awkward like you said and probably prevent something from happening. You got a TV or radio in there? Pop on a movie and make her sit close to you, hold hands or arm around etc. Even with no TV if you are going into a room alone and shutting the door I am sure you both know what's coming... dont kill the mood by talking about science class. You don't want to go from a normal conversation to full fledged tackle lets get naked. Flirt with her, play with her hair. Look in her eyes, tell her you like her.
It's obvious the start is the problem for you, once you kiss her you should be fine, and remember she WANTS you to kiss her (from what you said). I'm no pro and this isn't for every situation, but don't make things harder on yourself. Just relax and once you get in the room keep her close, and keep physical contact like holding hands etc. Makes the transition infinitely easier then having to get up and walk over and try to make something happen.
^ try the 90 percent and she give the 10 percent technique used by hitch (you get close 90 percent then she gives out the 10 percent) when you want to close the deal btw, but you really need to have build a lot of rapport to do this shit.
And listen to pufftrees advice first before this one
On August 30 2009 13:57 FuDDx wrote: O god my eyes!!!!! They bleed !!!!!!! O,To be a horny raging nerd again gl guys.
Hey you magic balloon-man you have hax!
The biggest problem i think most internet addicts have is confidence + experience
Also a lot of stuff people do on the internet (including me) just eats their time, not bringing genuine joy. Now we have easy-to-use supplements that temporarily cure loneliness, sexual frustration, and boredom.
If you want to try harder to get the things you want and chase your dreams faster:
-stop jacking off -stop playing games -stop watching movies (actually lets just make this entertainment in general) -stop talking to people online
Trust me you will get lonely and bored, and you will go out.
When I say stop I mean marginalize don't let your balls become watermelons
On August 30 2009 13:57 FuDDx wrote: O god my eyes!!!!! They bleed !!!!!!! O,To be a horny raging nerd again gl guys.
Hey you magic balloon-man you have hax!
The biggest problem i think most internet addicts have is confidence + experience
Also a lot of stuff people do on the internet (including me) just eats their time, not bringing genuine joy. Now we have easy-to-use supplements that temporarily cure loneliness, sexual frustration, and boredom.
If you want to try harder to get the things you want and chase your dreams faster:
-stop jacking off -stop playing games -stop watching movies (actually lets just make this entertainment in general) -stop talking to people online
Trust me you will get lonely and bored, and you will go out.
When I say stop I mean marginalize don't let your balls become watermelons
Oh my Godt SoD, everything you said is ME!
(except for the frequent girlfriend visits which is the only socialization I have after being out of work for half a year, but man, It really sucks too much right now doing the same routinary things all day)
On August 29 2009 03:59 Foucault wrote: First and foremost, realize than in order to be good with women, you have to be able to manipulate and use gender roles to your advantage. What this means is that everyone has a picture of what a man and a woman is like and if you display manly traits in the right way, women will pick up on this. Alot of PUA stuff is based on Mysterys old assumptions of what women like in men, which are based on gender roles. We're talking "protector of loved ones", independent, careless etc.
I would say I'm naturally quite good with women, and it might be because I have two sisters or whatever but I get along with women good most of the time. I think a sensibility towards people and being somewhat emotional helps alot in this, because women are very emotional and therefor seek emotional rapport and connection with others. You will need to be curious about others and respect women. Genuine likeability doesn't come from looking down on women and believing they are all whores, but to actually like women. This shines through becuase you will feel more at ease at around women and you will actually be interested in what they have to say.
So, talk to women and be interested in what they have to say but don't be interested in THEM right off the bat. You will want to suddenly go "oh well it was great talking to you, I'm gonna go talk to my friends a bit now" like talking to her ain't a biggie. Behave like discussion in general appeals to you; this will display two things: 1) You are socially competent and women like guys that can behave in public 2) You aren't showing that much interest in her specifically but rather you talk with alot of people, although you like talking to her as well.
Women aren't as sensitive as many guys think. She doesn't break or gets devastated that easily, she isn't made of glass no matter how feminine she seems. Women seem to be MUCH better at handling physical pain in general than guys and rarely complain alot when they hurt, probably because they are used to it. Monthly stomach aches and what not.
Don't be afraid to be frank about the fact that you find her attractive. Actually a frank comment like "I am attracted to you" with an easy smile just before you tell her that you will go talk to someone else can work wonders. Have the girl come chase you, not the other way around.
Learn to read peoples body language, what they say and HOW they say it. If you have good social competence I guess you are probably already somewhat good with women. Never EVER be desperate for a woman, like she would be your only choice unless you are already together. If you are already together, stop the player vibe and love your woman. Never be a crybaby or wuss about things, no one, even guys like people who just complain all the time and are scared about everything.
Things that scare you are things you should do just because they make you feel fucking alive and it's the best feeling in the world.
Hm what else...oh yeah, don't think too much. Be natural and don't overdo anything. Women look alot more at guys personalities than one would think. We are used to looking at womens face, boobs and ass and there are probably many biological reasons for this. Women look for a guy who can stand up for himself and has traits that she (and most of women) find attractive. Developing a personality will do much more for you than get a super-hot gym body. Believe that!
Be well-groomed. Clean clothes ALWAYS. Cut your nails, use a facial body lotion; they are cheap and makes your skin alot better. Brush your teeth, have decent hair. A pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt can be great, it's not that important. It's how you carry your clothes. Always walk with a fucking straight back and never ever ever ever slouch. Read the last sentence again. Look into peoples eyes no matter how uncomfortable it may be for you (seems to be for many people). Seeking eye contact and holding it although it's hard, will also help you if you have social anxiety of any degree, because you aren't looking away and imagining everyone laughing at your silly old self. You actually notice what's going on and that no ones laughing.
Finally, laugh alot and don't take meeting women so seriously. Of course you can easily get away with being laidback and not give a fuck if you are Brad Pitt or look like a greek god but like I said it's not THAT important to women with looks. It's how you carry yourself and what your personality is like that matters.
That's all for now, good luck.
My lord, what garbage. Such simplistic, generic nonsense.
OP, if you are truly searching for advice on such a topic here then your case is hopeless.
Then what's your advice? If you can't offer anything better, how can you be one to judge if it's good advice or not and if this thread will be useless?
I had a scenario before when a friend's girlfriend comes popping me on MSN asking for advice regarding her current relationship, I'm more of a Bro's before Hoes kinda boy so this is a very awkward experience. I usually protect my brotha's first when it comes to relationships, because they are forever drinking buddies
She asked what the hell am I going to do if (e.i. Me and my girl wen to a fight, will I be calling/chatting my ex-gf)
So in order for me to be neutral and save my boy's balls I told her "yes" some of us men actually does it. (even thought, I really wanted not to touch the fucking subject)
So, she I dunno the next time they asked these type of questions I wanna get the fuck out at times because once she asked theses questions I'll be "woott? I fucking trap"
Any advice, regarding situations like this? Did I make it sound a little right to protect my friend?
This is just my personal opinion, but I find all the over analysis of relationships to be really, really creepy. Talk of 'closing the deal' and 'strategies' I've seen in places other than TL (mainly.) is just weird and almost stalkerish. If I ever found out a guy I was dating talked like this or had this kind of really over analytical mind set about relationships I'd dump him immediately. Also some of the metaphors surrounding that kind of 'playa' speak make women sound like trophies or objects. I'd like to think of myself as less akin to a Pokemon and more as a human being.
Having said this I'm a woman who has devoted herself to eSports, hates clothes shopping, loves zombie games and horror movies and would rather die than sit through a chick flick. So I'm hardly in a position to speak for the 'typical' (British) girl and how she might react to reading the in-depth theorizing that surrounds picking up/dating women.
One time I won a radio contest to go bungee jumping up island. I asked this girl I liked to come with me. We were to meet downtown at the radio station in the morning, so we stopped by McDonald's first for some quick take out. I ordered an unusually large breakfast in two bags, and as we left I dropped one off to the homeless guy outside without mentioning it. I even had the audacity to look a little embarrassed about it.
Later I found out that she told all her friends, and that it was worth major points. The end.
On October 20 2009 12:59 Manifesto7 wrote: One time I won a radio contest to go bungee jumping up island. I asked this girl I liked to come with me. We were to meet downtown at the radio station in the morning, so we stopped by McDonald's first for some quick take out. I ordered an unusually large breakfast in two bags, and as we left I dropped one off to the homeless guy outside without mentioning it. I even had the audacity to look a little embarrassed about it.
Later I found out that she told all her friends, and that it was worth major points. The end.
That would win BIG points with the right girl at the right age. Mani is still the master! (I remember that post you made to Rekrul about karaoke haha)
On October 20 2009 12:59 NeverGG wrote: This is just my personal opinion, but I find all the over analysis of relationships to be really, really creepy. Talk of 'closing the deal' and 'strategies' I've seen in places other than TL (mainly.) is just weird and almost stalkerish. If I ever found out a guy I was dating talked like this or had this kind of really over analytical mind set about relationships I'd dump him immediately. Also some of the metaphors surrounding that kind of 'playa' speak make women sound like trophies or objects. I'd like to think of myself as less akin to a Pokemon and more as a human being.
Having said this I'm a woman who has devoted herself to eSports, hates clothes shopping, loves zombie games and horror movies and would rather die than sit through a chick flick. So I'm hardly in a position to speak for the 'typical' (British) girl and how she might react to reading the in-depth theorizing that surrounds picking up/dating women.
The truth is that men are easier to seduce than women, almost laughably so. That's why you rarely see any topic anywhere about women trying hard and devising strategies to get men, even in communities that aren't mostly male like TL. Consider it flattery ;D
On October 20 2009 12:59 NeverGG wrote: This is just my personal opinion, but I find all the over analysis of relationships to be really, really creepy. Talk of 'closing the deal' and 'strategies' I've seen in places other than TL (mainly.) is just weird and almost stalkerish. If I ever found out a guy I was dating talked like this or had this kind of really over analytical mind set about relationships I'd dump him immediately. Also some of the metaphors surrounding that kind of 'playa' speak make women sound like trophies or objects. I'd like to think of myself as less akin to a Pokemon and more as a human being.
Having said this I'm a woman who has devoted herself to eSports, hates clothes shopping, loves zombie games and horror movies and would rather die than sit through a chick flick. So I'm hardly in a position to speak for the 'typical' (British) girl and how she might react to reading the in-depth theorizing that surrounds picking up/dating women.
Well its because you dont want people to coldly analyze your reactions and actually make you fall for it.
Most women not only dont like it, but deny such thing exists, as if their method to choosing a partner were so mysterious no amount of observation and analysis can solve it, but they are wrong, as all human behavior it can be explained and exploited.
On October 20 2009 12:59 NeverGG wrote: This is just my personal opinion, but I find all the over analysis of relationships to be really, really creepy. Talk of 'closing the deal' and 'strategies' I've seen in places other than TL (mainly.) is just weird and almost stalkerish. If I ever found out a guy I was dating talked like this or had this kind of really over analytical mind set about relationships I'd dump him immediately. Also some of the metaphors surrounding that kind of 'playa' speak make women sound like trophies or objects. I'd like to think of myself as less akin to a Pokemon and more as a human being.
Having said this I'm a woman who has devoted herself to eSports, hates clothes shopping, loves zombie games and horror movies and would rather die than sit through a chick flick. So I'm hardly in a position to speak for the 'typical' (British) girl and how she might react to reading the in-depth theorizing that surrounds picking up/dating women.
You know, a lot of women (and a growing number of men!) don't really like the aura that sort of surrounds the PUA community. You have to remember is that it's the pick-up community - most guys just want to know how to pick up women for one-night stands or whatever, NOT for relationships.
If they *do* try for that relationship, they usually end up failing, at one point or another, because there's a huge difference between what it takes to be sexually attractive and what it takes to have a fulfilling relationship, although you need the former to be successful in the latter. If you ask a dude about what they want from women, most dudes will tell you that at some point in their life that they want that one amazing, spectacular woman. It's a sort of tactics vs. strategy kind of thing - sure you can get that one girl in bed, but can you get her to come back for coffee or lunch the next week? No pickup lines or techniques will get you that - it's all tactics - but the right "strategy" is for a guy to work on himself and become someone who is naturally attractive.
Unfortunately a lot of guys miss the point and stay stuck in the "pick-up lines/techniques" stage and figure that the more tactics they learn the better of a chance they'll be able to have a fulfilling relationship with a woman. The women they end up attracting are just as insecure and shallow as they are. These guys end up with emotional vampires that end up draining away at their lives, and they end up ultimately no more satisfied with their lives as before they started learning pick-up.
With that said... there's a LOT that can be learned. Earlier posters have said that a lot of times it's just putting names on what's natural, and giving the dude a technique or line or whatever to try, and so when he does succeed he can get a sense of what the interaction is like and how he can develop HIMSELF to ensure that interaction flows more naturally. A lot of guys are completely lost when it comes to this, and so sometimes a few techniques can go a long way in helping a guy figure out what works and what doesn't, and they start to take an active approach in improving themselves. Sometimes the guys that learn from this approach take it to other places in their life and start developing THOSE parts as well.
Besides, you wouldn't want to live in a world where "hey bitch I wanna fuck you" is a commonly-used pick-up line, would you?
Consider this, the author of The Game, and pick up artist: Neil Strauss, as well as the Mystery, the "best pick up artist" have long term relationships.
The way pick up artists do it(specific lines, scripts, and plans for any kind of situation) is(and was made) for the social cripples, regular people do fine with confidence, grooming, and a buddy to club with.
agreed with shaperofdreams. the whole PUA thing is played out. EVEN for the "socially crippled", all it takes is some time and experience; get out there and start talkin to girls, whether it be friends of friends, random girls, etc.
So what, you may be able to memorize some corny ass lines and utilize them "effectively", but its effective only to a certain level. After that, you gotta eventually open up and show her who you really are, and if you're just using those lines/scripts or w/e, that's definitely not really you.
This topic is pretty difficult to discuss because preferences come into play (for both you and the girl), so depending on what kinda attributes both of you are lookin for, it might or might not work in the long run.
Personally, I don't become too outgoing unless I take interest in someone, met them atleast a few times, or if I'm just out kickin it with friends and drinking then I start talkin a lot. Just be friendly, lead conversations, and make her laugh. That should be more than enough for her to take interest in you, unless she's looking for something different but from my experience that's some of the main things girls like in guys
bump, Hey I got a question involving buses and bus stop game. If you have ever ridden the bus its the kind of place where people are very introverted and disregard everyone while they read, do homework, listen to music, text people.
So basically this super fine girl i see about 50 feet away is walking towards the bus stop where me and like 10 other people are waiting. The moment she walks up and we see each other I can feel a vibe. Then in like 10 minutes we all get on the bus and she sits across from me. I can feel her eyes dart over me and you know when you get that vibe like you both are interested in each other from across the room or whatever. It was totally one of those, but we never really made eye contact. Damn she was hot she was even standing cute waiting for the bus.
She's obviously one of the college students that go to CSULB and ride this same bus. She is about 5'5" or taller, caucasian/italian or some dark breed, semi-long dark brown hair; fairly smooth/straight looking, pretty tight figure; small waist, nice sized butt (she was wearing those black strechy pants that form fit girls so well), perky tits (probably B cup), beautiful big brown? eyes, slightly larger nose but in a cute way etc, small lips and jaw, etc. This girl was fine.
fufufufufuuuuuuu How do I game this girl on the bus in the event that I see her again? (btw I might not see her again because I was late for work and took a bus I normally wouldn't)
On December 01 2009 05:50 CharlieMurphy wrote: bump, Hey I got a question involving buses and bus stop game. If you have ever ridden the bus its the kind of place where people are very introverted and disregard everyone while they read, do homework, listen to music, text people.
So basically this super fine girl i see about 50 feet away is walking towards the bus stop where me and like 10 other people are waiting. The moment she walks up and we see each other I can feel a vibe. Then in like 10 minutes we all get on the bus and she sits across from me. I can feel her eyes dart over me and you know when you get that vibe like you both are interested in each other from across the room or whatever. It was totally one of those, but we never really made eye contact. Damn she was hot she was even standing cute waiting for the bus.
She's obviously one of the college students that go to CSULB and ride this same bus. She is about 5'5" or taller, caucasian/italian or some dark breed, semi-long dark brown hair; fairly smooth/straight looking, pretty tight figure; small waist, nice sized butt (she was wearing those black strechy pants that form fit girls so well), perky tits (probably B cup), beautiful big brown? eyes, slightly larger nose but in a cute way etc, small lips and jaw, etc. This girl was fine.
fufufufufuuuuuuu How do I game this girl on the bus in the event that I see her again? (btw I might not see her again because I was late for work and took a bus I normally wouldn't)
My advice is to talk to her next time. If there's an awkward silence when both of you can't think of something suitable to say, that means she's feeling just as self-conscious as you so don't worry about it.I'm no Casanova btw just interested in psychology.
On December 01 2009 05:50 CharlieMurphy wrote: bump, Hey I got a question involving buses and bus stop game. If you have ever ridden the bus its the kind of place where people are very introverted and disregard everyone while they read, do homework, listen to music, text people.
So basically this super fine girl i see about 50 feet away is walking towards the bus stop where me and like 10 other people are waiting. The moment she walks up and we see each other I can feel a vibe. Then in like 10 minutes we all get on the bus and she sits across from me. I can feel her eyes dart over me and you know when you get that vibe like you both are interested in each other from across the room or whatever. It was totally one of those, but we never really made eye contact. Damn she was hot she was even standing cute waiting for the bus.
She's obviously one of the college students that go to CSULB and ride this same bus. She is about 5'5" or taller, caucasian/italian or some dark breed, semi-long dark brown hair; fairly smooth/straight looking, pretty tight figure; small waist, nice sized butt (she was wearing those black strechy pants that form fit girls so well), perky tits (probably B cup), beautiful big brown? eyes, slightly larger nose but in a cute way etc, small lips and jaw, etc. This girl was fine.
fufufufufuuuuuuu How do I game this girl on the bus in the event that I see her again? (btw I might not see her again because I was late for work and took a bus I normally wouldn't)
Why didn't you just say HI to her? This is pretty stalkerish. The fact that you're putting in so much effort to try and think of the perfect thing to say to her the next time you "accidentally" bump into her is really needy too. Not to mention that she didn't even do anything to earn that effort besides looking pretty. This is why a lot of girls are bitches, jaded or hard to approach. All their lives guys have been throwing effort and affection at them like confetti, when they haven't done anything to deserve it. They become bored of it.
My advice is to develop a fun and congruent vibe at ALL times. And to make sure it doesn't just turn "on" or you change the way you act as soon as you see a pretty girl or as soon as the weekend is coming up. It's better to be the 24/7 attractive man, so that you CAN attract girls anywhere you meet, whether it'd be in a club, in class or on the bus.
As to what to say to her next time you see her. Here's a tip. Become a master of pointing out the obvious. If you can get her to agree with you (i.e. relate to you), early on and frequently, then you can definitely bang her or date her. Because people like people like themselves. If you saw some random girl walking on the street and she was wearing a TL.net shirt, you'd probably feel elated. Or if you were talking to someone you just met and they said, "Man, I'm so tired, last night I stayed up watching SC till 4am" your eyes would probably light up. This, plus the right vibe is the secret to getting someone to feel like they've known you for years.
So point out something obvious about that immediate environment. It could be about the weather, or class, or a headline. Here's a real life example. Today I was on the subway to work when I was standing next to the door and holding onto the poll. There are these little saddle like handles that people can grab onto over our heads as well. This girl walks in and she grabs one of the handles beside me. I say, "So what's your technique then?". And she goes "huh?" I say, "I use the overhand grip because I can lean into my entire arm once it get's tired". Then she goes "Oh yeah!" yadda yadda.... I got her facebook and we talked as if we were old friends for about 20 minutes before she got off.
Another example is from this saturday. I met her in driving school. As she's sitting down infront of me, we give each other a polite "Hi". During our break though I say to her, "Man, these things are so long, I'm sooo hungry right now." She says, "Yeah, me too." Then I point out another obvious thing, "You know what? her: what? These classes are pretty useless, all the knowledge stuff is just COMMON sense, I'd rather learn how to parallel park properly, in-car." And then she gets excited, "Oh yeah! I was actually gonna skip the classes all together and do the incar thing instead." Yadda Yadda. I actually end up taking the bus home with her and we set up a date And YES, I added her to my facebook as well.
That's another thing. Get her facebook. It's 10x more effective than getting a phone number imo and not to mention a lot easier.
A good opener is: "Hello, my name is [insert your name]", with a smile on your face and an easy manner. This conveys confidence, friendliness and is very straight-forward.
Also you don't explicitly ask for her name but she feels compelled to say it because you said yours, so when she goes "oh..hi, I'm Sarah" you can go in many different directions depending on your goals. In general stating that you like talking to people and being friendly and uncomplicated about it is awesome, because she will feel at ease not being picked out specifically.
And don't ask her questions at first. Deliver statements like "I like talking to new people in general" instead of putting pressure on her by asking her to answer stuff you throw out.
On December 01 2009 07:09 CharlieMurphy wrote: sound advice, thanks But Can you give a good example of an opener when a chick is just walking up to the bus stop? ("throw baby in the corner" lolol)
lol... Truth be told, anything can work as long as you project the right vibe. In fact, nowadays I get opened/touched a lot by strangers because I'm such a cheery motherfucker. And not just by hot chicks, but by old people. Who am I kidding? Only old people.
Someone who's like 10x better with girls than I am (and I'm pretty good, like B+ to A- in ICCUP terms), once gave me some solid advice. Try your hardest to get slapped by a girl.... I once literally "opened" a girl with "I just wanna motorboat those puppies" followed with my miming her exactly what motorboating is. The point of that exercise was to learn how to NOT give a shit. To learn how to speak from your gut. And to just always push the boundaries so you learn for yourself what works and what doesn't work. To this day I haven't gotten slapped. You would be surprised what you can get away with. ANYTHING.
You should try that... lol. Keep in mind that people have a million things racing through their minds during the day. You need to add tension so they PAY attention to what you SAY. Nothing's worse than them repeatedly saying "Huh? What?". So.... Let me tell you something Charlie...... You know what you should do?.... Add some tension when you approach girls in the day time.
I can't really give you an opener. The things I said to those chicks literally came to my mind as the situation arose. Again, become a master of pointing out the obvious and speaking from your gut, and that will be 10x better than any opener. Trust me.
The problem with openers is that they're again based on PUA bullshit. It's needy. You're trying to WOW her with a stupid hypothetical question or a magic trick. Whenever I watch Keys to the HIV, I mean VIP, I just want to slap those chodes across their faces. It's like watching Combat-EX. They think they know. They don't know SHIT.
Next time you see a hot girl, look around, look for things that are obvious, that are 100% fact, and something that she would agree to. Add a little tension, then point them out.
If you live in Canada, or in Toronto.... "Hey, you know what?" Her: What? "I can't believe there's ZERO snow, and it's NOVEMBER, I love it! Don't you agree?"
The point is not to wow her, but to get her to agree. Why? Because this creates a sense of familiarity and connection and this gets HER to open up. You WANT her to do more talking than YOU. Not the other way around .
What do you think about a random "Do you always walk around looking that hot? or is that just your rolled out of bed look?" Is that too forward/confusing? Then I could continue with like "yea, I saw you last week (or whatever) and I wasn't sure if you just got lucky with your getup or you were really that hot" "I guess I was right" to which she might reply "ooh, which were you right about?" .. etc
On December 01 2009 07:39 CharlieMurphy wrote: What do you think about a random "Do you always walk around looking that hot? or is that just your rolled out of bed look?" Is that too forward/confusing? Then I could continue with like "yea, I saw you last week (or whatever) and I wasn't sure if you just got lucky with your getup or you were really that hot" "I guess I was right" to which she might reply "ooh, which were you right about?" .. etc
Bad idea. You'd be giving way too much value to her off the bat, which isn't good. The idea is to go in neutral, under the radar. Doing that makes it seem like you're hitting on her, which you don't want. And saying you saw her last week is kinda weird, plus it also adds a lot of value to her and takes value from you. The reason is because she probably doesn't have any clue who you are. The fact that you remembered her so well shows that you don't have many women in your life (at least, not as attractive as her), and that's a major DLV. I know that's all "PUA bullshit" according to the guy you were talking to, but people on Keys to the VIP aren't PUAs anyway (everyone on Mystery's forums ripped on them so hard when I used to read them). Anyway, bad idea.
On December 01 2009 07:39 CharlieMurphy wrote: What do you think about a random "Do you always walk around looking that hot? or is that just your rolled out of bed look?" Is that too forward/confusing? Then I could continue with like "yea, I saw you last week (or whatever) and I wasn't sure if you just got lucky with your getup or you were really that hot" "I guess I was right" to which she might reply "ooh, which were you right about?" .. etc
Bad idea. You'd be giving way too much value to her off the bat, which isn't good. The idea is to go in neutral, under the radar. Doing that makes it seem like you're hitting on her, which you don't want. And saying you saw her last week is kinda weird, plus it also adds a lot of value to her and takes value from you. The reason is because she probably doesn't have any clue who you are. The fact that you remembered her so well shows that you don't have many women in your life (at least, not as attractive as her), and that's a major DLV. I know that's all "PUA bullshit" according to the guy you were talking to, but people on Keys to the VIP aren't PUAs anyway (everyone on Mystery's forums ripped on them so hard when I used to read them). Anyway, bad idea.
Hi, I'm the guy he was talking to. I'm WarriorMadness, nice to meet you. I don't know how the Mysteryforums are doing nowadays, but the last time I checked, the techniques they were using were as bad as anything I've seen on Keys to the VIP. But I have to agree with this. It's just plain weird and totally STALKERISH to say something like "yea, I saw you last week (or whatever) and I wasn't sure if you just got lucky with your getup or you were really that hot". Just try to imagine some girl walking up to you and saying that.... It's just plain creepy.
You're still giving her too much for way too little effort on her part. What separates you from the dozens of guys who tell her "You're so hot." "You're so beautiful." each and every day? You have to get her to make an effort... THEN you reward her with affection. You randomly see her once and all of the sudden you know her entire wardrobe off by heart? Not good!
But like I said, my advice is to stay away from the canned openers and just say something obvious.
Also, try to avoid being a keyboard jockey. I think for every 5 minutes you spend reading the advice on this thread, you should actually go out and try SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
On December 01 2009 07:45 keepITup wrote: going to the gym soon guys. hypothetical situation -- girl doing ab work on the mats, how do I approach?
im no PUA never read much except passing things here on TL, and have no interest in it, although i clearly see the value in giving people who are socially awkward, a skill set they can develop and use to potentially meet someone. So i don't know the terms and such.
keepITup, if it were me in that position i would go do ab workouts as well, and suddenly stop look over to here and say something along the lines of " you're doing that wrong", then " here let me show you " doesn't matter what it is, make something up if you have to, it's irrelevant. like for example tell here to keep here head in a certain direction, or better yet tell her she needs to sit a certain way so her "back is flat on the mat and isn't supported unevenly", and it gives you a perfect excuse to touch her, a simple hand hovering over her stomach area or shoulders and a "may I" will give you the clear.
of course you have to be intent on the task and not so much her, so control where you look. after you are clear to touch her you can poke one finger on her abs, and sit her "correctly" and tell her to do the exercise and notice how much force she is using on her ab muscles now. ( in case she says she doesn't notice any then tell her to stop using her neck and back muscles)
the beauty of this is the pain in other areas isn't BS everyone at the gym has pains in other areas, also the second you place your finger on her abs it will help her contract that area simply by pinpointing the area she "should" be targeting.
now that the ice is broken it's up to you.
things to note: if she refuse contact (remember to ask) or shuts you down, take it in stride simply say you were trying to help and meant no harm ( smiling is a plus). some women will not be attracted to you or simply don't like being talked to in the gym, luckily the latter is the minority, and the former is usually subject to change.
edit: big note Practice makes perfect, and if you REALLY concentrate on correcting her posture ( even if it is BS on your part) and basically the task at hand, it will help A LOT with the nerves.
remember hot women are just random people like you or me, and friendly advice is usually always appreciated.
On December 01 2009 08:20 ShaperofDreams wrote: yeah don't suck her dick just say hi, also I constantly tease chicks for any mistake they make when i talk to them, works pretty well.
Yeah, but that's really easy to take too far. I've definitely done that. Ruined any shot I had with a few girls...
On December 01 2009 07:45 keepITup wrote: going to the gym soon guys. hypothetical situation -- girl doing ab work on the mats, how do I approach?
Wow... Those look killer, can you show me how to do them?
lol way to shit on 10 minutes of typing ^ ^
i dunno i generally find that asking for help gets you shut out more often then offering, specially if she hasn't noticed you
lol. Well, TBH, when people usually pose these sorts of questions the only thing anyone can ever offer is a bandaid solution. Why? Well.... Breaking the ice really is probably the last thing most guys should be concerned about. What about their lifestyle? Do they have a solid grasp of their own identity? Do they have a clear vision of what kind of man they want to be? Do they have sound beliefs and convictions? Do they assert them? Do they have hobbies? A social circle? Are you physically fit? Are you passionate about something? Fixing your lifestyle will make a far far far greater impact on your sex life than any opener, or PUA system.
It's like someone in the strategy forum asking, "What can I do to improve? I'm at hive tech and I'm even casting some pretty good swarms and plagues... I even get him sometimes with STOP lurkers, and my muta micro early on delays him pretty well but I keep on losing no matter what I try." And then you look at his replay and you see that he's been on 3 hatches the entire time and his mineral count is at 3000. Macro guys! Macro!
On December 01 2009 05:50 CharlieMurphy wrote: bump, Hey I got a question involving buses and bus stop game. If you have ever ridden the bus its the kind of place where people are very introverted and disregard everyone while they read, do homework, listen to music, text people.
So basically this super fine girl i see about 50 feet away is walking towards the bus stop where me and like 10 other people are waiting. The moment she walks up and we see each other I can feel a vibe. Then in like 10 minutes we all get on the bus and she sits across from me. I can feel her eyes dart over me and you know when you get that vibe like you both are interested in each other from across the room or whatever. It was totally one of those, but we never really made eye contact. Damn she was hot she was even standing cute waiting for the bus.
She's obviously one of the college students that go to CSULB and ride this same bus. She is about 5'5" or taller, caucasian/italian or some dark breed, semi-long dark brown hair; fairly smooth/straight looking, pretty tight figure; small waist, nice sized butt (she was wearing those black strechy pants that form fit girls so well), perky tits (probably B cup), beautiful big brown? eyes, slightly larger nose but in a cute way etc, small lips and jaw, etc. This girl was fine.
fufufufufuuuuuuu How do I game this girl on the bus in the event that I see her again? (btw I might not see her again because I was late for work and took a bus I normally wouldn't)
...simply because I fucked up in this simple scenario bazillion times before I got into some pickup stuff: Whenever you get an "approach invitation" by a women like "the" eye contact you mentioned or you realize she's hovering around you all the time and looking at you sometimes (if it was a man and you'd be a women you'd call him creepy =P)...
It does not matter at all what you're saying. Not at all. You can approach her group talking about the weather and she'll know you're there for her. And she'll like it. Or you can approach her with simply being completely HONEST and telling her that you feel like you'd pass a chance and would be angry for the rest of the day if you wouldn't have talked to her right now. "Do you know what I'm talking about? When did that last happen to you?" ---> ohmygawd, natural conversation.
Hell, when you get invited 20 times like you described above even a huge not-taking-seriously-what-your're-saying-grin and a "Hey, nice weather, right?" while taking the seat next to her is gold.
"Just do it." You can't lose but there's a lot to gain.
Oh and: Don't break that fucking eye contact first.
On December 01 2009 07:45 keepITup wrote: going to the gym soon guys. hypothetical situation -- girl doing ab work on the mats, how do I approach?
Wow... Those look killer, can you show me how to do them?
lol way to shit on 10 minutes of typing ^ ^
i dunno i generally find that asking for help gets you shut out more often then offering, specially if she hasn't noticed you
lol. Well, TBH, when people usually pose these sorts of questions the only thing anyone can ever offer is a bandaid solution. Why? Well.... Breaking the ice really is probably the last thing most guys should be concerned about. What about their lifestyle? Do they have a solid grasp of their own identity? Do they have a clear vision of what kind of man they want to be? Do they have sound beliefs and convictions? Do they assert them? Do they have hobbies? A social circle? Are you physically fit? Are you passionate about something? Fixing your lifestyle will make a far far far greater impact on your sex life than any opener, or PUA system.
It's like someone in the strategy forum asking, "What can I do to improve? I'm at hive tech and I'm even casting some pretty good swarms and plagues... I even get him sometimes with STOP lurkers, and my muta micro early on delays him pretty well but I keep on losing no matter what I try." And then you look at his replay and you see that he's been on 3 hatches the entire time and his mineral count is at 3000. Macro guys! Macro!
of course this is true, and it's obvious that a stable, fit life is the greatest way to improve your sex life.
I assume people here are smart enough to know these things, and also smart enough to figure out that if they like goth girls they don't go to the rich kids club in some downtown strip.
sometimes people just have problems solving a situation for one reason or another, and that's why they ask and i simply offered an alternative answer i thought would be a good solution to the problem posed. of course i could ask how physically fit he is, how knowledgeable he is on the subject, what his beliefs are, ( in the case they contradict the typical gym going woman's) etc etc etc i assume he would think about these things himself.
just like in SC i would assume he was macroing decently, and if not he knew that it was a problem but still wanted to know if there was some easier way of solving the situation.
I honestly think confidence in your self, and knowing that who you are is nothing to be ashamed about is the important thing in dealing with the opposite sex, specially if you are interested in a possible relationship, be it purely platonic or something more.
On December 01 2009 07:45 keepITup wrote: going to the gym soon guys. hypothetical situation -- girl doing ab work on the mats, how do I approach?
Wow... Those look killer, can you show me how to do them?
lol way to shit on 10 minutes of typing ^ ^
i dunno i generally find that asking for help gets you shut out more often then offering, specially if she hasn't noticed you
lol. Well, TBH, when people usually pose these sorts of questions the only thing anyone can ever offer is a bandaid solution. Why? Well.... Breaking the ice really is probably the last thing most guys should be concerned about. What about their lifestyle? Do they have a solid grasp of their own identity? Do they have a clear vision of what kind of man they want to be? Do they have sound beliefs and convictions? Do they assert them? Do they have hobbies? A social circle? Are you physically fit? Are you passionate about something? Fixing your lifestyle will make a far far far greater impact on your sex life than any opener, or PUA system.
It's like someone in the strategy forum asking, "What can I do to improve? I'm at hive tech and I'm even casting some pretty good swarms and plagues... I even get him sometimes with STOP lurkers, and my muta micro early on delays him pretty well but I keep on losing no matter what I try." And then you look at his replay and you see that he's been on 3 hatches the entire time and his mineral count is at 3000. Macro guys! Macro!
of course this is true, and it's obvious that a stable, fit life is the greatest way to improve your sex life.
I assume people here are smart enough to know these things, and also smart enough to figure out that if they like goth girls they don't go to the rich kids club in some downtown strip.
sometimes people just have problems solving a situation for one reason or another, and that's why they ask and i simply offered an alternative answer i thought would be a good solution to the problem posed. of course i could ask how physically fit he is, how knowledgeable he is on the subject, what his beliefs are, ( in the case they contradict the typical gym going woman's) etc etc etc i assume he would think about these things himself.
just like in SC i would assume he was macroing decently, and if not he knew that it was a problem but still wanted to know if there was some easier way of solving the situation.
I honestly think confidence in your self, and knowing that who you are is nothing to be ashamed about is the important thing in dealing with the opposite sex, specially if you are interested in a possible relationship, be it purely platonic or something more.
From personal experience I'd say that stuff like pickup is the tip of the iceberg, but a pretty important one.
For me there was a point where I was like "Hm. Well, you're not really satisfied with the quality/quantity of women around you. Also you screwed up some potential relationships.". That thought lead me to reading kennigets posts seriously (yarly), reading "the game" and I went from there.
After a few weeks you start realizing one of two things:
a) Those techniques and patterns are awesome and you can get laid a lot with it. And you'll love it. b) You're into this stuff to "cover up" things which are just a result of "inner game problems". aka you start exploring problems and possibilities which you haven't even thought of before.
The move from "frustration" -> "pickup" -> "character developement" is, in my opinion, just a logical result of realizing what's really going on.
Realizing and admitting that you start getting into pickup because you are not satisfied with the "current you" (or maybe, that was my main problem, you just don't act like yourself if you're around someone you find attractive) is probably the most important step in getting good with girls.
check out www.theattractionforums.com for more stuff like that. It's like the teamliquid of the PUA community. only they try to sell you shit (not progamer T-shirts, but books on PUA etc.)
I just happened to write "PUMA" wrong and PUA istead:D. I usualy don't post at all on this forum but i have been in this PUA community for about 5 years and all ive read in this post is pure SHIT!:D
I saw someone write Mystery??!!?! comon man, he's nothing as a pua. just very good on promoting himself.
The best tip i can give is go onto http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/. its a good foum, not as good as i used to be but still good. And buy 60 years of challenge (or download if ur a ******).
Thats all for me feel free to pm if u have any questions related to this subject.
EPT
(actually coming from Ricky Tatum)
![[image loading]](http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh146/Racenilatr/4943_1173217375671_1385146577_46609.jpg)
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