The "PUA/Playah" Discussion Thread. - Page 3
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United States113 Posts
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Bill307
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Canada9103 Posts
On August 29 2009 05:02 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote: There's so much I want to say to this, because I agree and disagree, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to say it. MM helps create a new you. That's what faking it till you make it means. The problem with being yourself is that the current you sucks, and that's why you're socially inept. The idea of MM, and most people who start with MM grow out of it and become better people because of it, is to teach you how to not be socially inept. You become someone new. The idea isn't to stay in the beginning stages of it, it's to evolve beyond the Jealous GF opener, and so on. But, it's terrifying to do that on your own, and figure it out on your own. MM is training wheels for social success. Once you realize you can be socially successful you can take the training wheels off. You can't ride a bike if you don't know how to pedal, and MM teaches you how to pedal. EDIT: Not aimed at anyone particularly, but every time I come across someone who says MM is bullshit, you don't need it, etc. They're almost always the guy sitting in the corner by themselves, and bitching about how their life sucks. I agree with both of these posts, in a way. Personally, I found that if you spend enough time doing what a confident guy would do, and telling yourself "a confident guy wouldn't think like this so I won't either", then over time you can actually stop feeling anxious. My personal theory is that your mind just gets into a habit of thinking confident thoughts instead of anxious ones when you think about girls. On the other hand, this whole idea of trying to hook up with as many girls as possible... I don't see this as building real confidence. Instead, I would suggest going out, meeting women, and then NOT trying to pick them up: just having a really good time with them without hitting on them. To me, the fact that you're completely content to just have a good time with her, with no pressure or reason to hook-up with her: that takes real confidence. ![]() And in my experience, girls can tell when you're secure with yourself like this, and it makes a big difference compared to a guy who's always trying to get a girl. | ||
Heaven_n
Mexico170 Posts
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints? i have The Game , havent read it yet im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are: 1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him (btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired) Well u can do all those things but u might as well feel the same in the inside.Nose job etc can work but i'm clueless so i will not give any advice regarding those subjects. Even if you go to university or get a job, u can still be that guy who sits at the corner and talks to no one. If u really want to increase your level of "life maturity" just tell urself, despite being i dont know, a nerd, socially excluded, not having friends. No one will know you at university or work. Hey no one knows me, i can start from scratch i can be friendly with everyone, i can give a good first impression. DO SO. Another thing, looks aren't really that important haven't u seen a really hot hot chick with a fugly guy? this happens alot. If you think of yourself as this ugly guy who girls woul never look, or talk to people will actually see you that way. If u act like a regular guy, and talk to people without thinking to urself god im ugly hopes shes not thinking the same etc, u'll win. Work out is a MUST, i belive ur rather skinny, and like most skinny people, when u say i want to work out you mean getting big. U can do that or u can be smarter, ur body fat is probably small, so getting abs will be ALOT faster for u and easier, go to the gym, and eventually ull get bigger but ull have a great 6 pack body fast. Hopes this helps and sorry for any grammar/spelling mistake | ||
251
United States1401 Posts
be yourself. if you're a hardcore starcraft nerd and that's your whole life and that makes you happy, then do that. if that doesn't make you happy, you'll change your behaviors and lifestyle accordingly automatically. I'm well familiar with 'the game' and I think all the language and codewords they use is some of the nerdiest, most awkward shit I've ever heard. those kinda guys started dressing differently and socializing because they were frustrated with their lame ordinary lives. there's a reason most people near the end of their life are generally satisfied with how they lived because you are going to live the way you want to anyway, you make your own choices. if you want to look good yeah work out, it sends a good message and you'll feel better. but don't live your entire life trying to just impress the opposite sex. that makes you a tool. yeah getting girls is fun but it should just be a natural extension of being a dude... | ||
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GTR
51451 Posts
Because of this, look at me now, I do nothing but follow Starcraft and watch KRN GRLZ LIPSYNC SONGS. | ||
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NeverGG
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United Kingdom5399 Posts
Oh no wait.....now all I do is watch StarCraft and watch KRN BYZ (Rock) LIPSYNC SONGS. | ||
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On August 29 2009 08:31 Bill307 wrote: I agree with both of these posts, in a way. Personally, I found that if you spend enough time doing what a confident guy would do, and telling yourself "a confident guy wouldn't think like this so I won't either", then over time you can actually stop feeling anxious. My personal theory is that your mind just gets into a habit of thinking confident thoughts instead of anxious ones when you think about girls. On the other hand, this whole idea of trying to hook up with as many girls as possible... I don't see this as building real confidence. Instead, I would suggest going out, meeting women, and then NOT trying to pick them up: just having a really good time with them without hitting on them. To me, the fact that you're completely content to just have a good time with her, with no pressure or reason to hook-up with her: that takes real confidence. ![]() And in my experience, girls can tell when you're secure with yourself like this, and it makes a big difference compared to a guy who's always trying to get a girl. To the bold: Yes, that's actually very basic psychology: cognitive dissonance. And you'll either adjust your behaviors, or your way of thinking in order to make them cohesive. To the rest, I agree, pretty much. On August 29 2009 11:41 NeverGG wrote: Where's my thread with advice upon how to pick up 8 to 10 rated men HUH? WHERE IS IT? Oh no wait.....now all I do is watch StarCraft and watch KRN BYZ (Rock) LIPSYNC SONGS. Be hot, they'll come to you eventually. Then be interesting. A hot girl who isn't interesting is as bad as an ugly girl. And what's with everyone laughing at everyone who's talking in this thread? Personally (aside from the "be yourself" people, because I've never come across someone who says "be yourself and play video games all the time," who is also socially successful), I think of this as showing that there are a lot of ways to get women. You have to become yourself, because if you're unhappy with where you are in life (which is why you look to pick up), then your current self sucks, and you don't want to "be yourself" anymore. So become the person you want to be. It's not easy, and some times it's scary. You may lose friends that you think are really awesome and close. It's a part of life. Don't let things distract you from your goals. Protect your dreams, and don't let anyone take them from you. If you came to this thread looking for advice on women, you're not following your dreams. Stop being scared and do something about it. Or live your life miserably and cry about it for the rest of your days on the earth. It's never going to be handed to you, and there's always going to be naysayers trying to tear you down: run them over, and leave them behind. Become who you want to be. | ||
decafchicken
United States20019 Posts
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints? i have The Game , havent read it yet im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are: 1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him (btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired) You're already fucked. You gotta go Hitch mode baby. SHOCK AND AWE BABY. will smith said it will work. | ||
d3_crescentia
United States4054 Posts
On August 29 2009 07:54 starflash wrote: some nice links and posts here, but where should i go to learn initially about PUA and things like essential body language hints? i have The Game , havent read it yet im also wondering how it will come to be that my best friend who i spend every spare minute with will begin to find me physically attractive? the logical conclusions/steps i can come up with are: 1. get a better job or go to university (increase my level of "life maturity") 2. get a nose job (im pretty ugly) 3. work out for 3+ years until im not actually repulsive to behold i cant but think that it will take me several if not many years before this girl will begin to find me more attractive. you can throw in "become more emotionally mature" (by dating more women, etc) but really i include that in (1) when i say increase my level of life maturity. by maturity i mean from a womans viewpoint oc; no woman wants to date a [virgin] no matter how much they "like" him (btw i hope some of that made sense, im VERy tired) Wow. Go ahead and do those things (job/plastic surgery/etc.) if you think you'll feel better about yourself, but you're approaching this ass-backwards. Women honestly don't give a fuck if you're a virgin or not as long as as long as you bring your passion for life (i.e. be yourself) into the relationship. You can be more attractive right now simply by thinking you are. What PUA stuff does for you is that it gives you concrete actions which are associated with "being attractive," so you feel more attractive when you're out there. When you're working at getting techniques down what you're really doing is adjusting your mindset towards being attractive. In the end it's a waste of money if you keep throwing it away looking for more techniques. You can start to gain emotional maturity by taking responsibility for how you lead your life. Don't go around expecting other people will hold the key to your happiness, because you're supposed to be in charge of yourself. Last piece of advice - give up on this girl you're friends with, or at least start doing shit you like with or without her. Chances are you can probably find someone better. | ||
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Bill307
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Canada9103 Posts
On August 29 2009 11:41 NeverGG wrote: Where's my thread with advice upon how to pick up 8 to 10 rated men HUH? It's simple: be secure with yourself and show them that you can take care of yourself -- physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally. That'll put you miles ahead of the competition. Then, you just have to hope that you're interesting to the guy and vice-versa. And then offer them sex. | ||
Railxp
Hong Kong1313 Posts
A Four Part series to teach you how to win girls through the Japanese Tradition (Brought to you by the Japanese Culture Lab). Complete with theory, and actual footage of how the theory works out in real life. Enjoy! Part 1 + Show Spoiler + Part 2 + Show Spoiler + Part 3 + Show Spoiler + Part 4 + Show Spoiler + | ||
Humbug
United States264 Posts
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vx70GTOJudgexv
United States3161 Posts
Wow... what is the world coming to? | ||
Afasia
Finland70 Posts
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Licmyobelisk
Philippines3682 Posts
On August 29 2009 18:17 vx70GTOJudgexv wrote: There's... forums for this shit? Wow... what is the world coming to? Yeah, since 1998 I think.. LOL! | ||
D10
Brazil3409 Posts
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BloodDrunK
Bangladesh2767 Posts
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iG.Aura
Poland686 Posts
On August 29 2009 19:39 BloodDrunK wrote: i've been rejected by every single woman i've ever asked out and have rejected every single woman who has ever asked me out. karma is a bitch most of the advice in this thread is pretty messed up.. stuff like confidence and etc works but honestly, stop trying, and you will probably achieve the best results | ||
FuDDx
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United States5008 Posts
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Jonoman92
United States9103 Posts
On August 29 2009 18:17 vx70GTOJudgexv wrote: There's... forums for this shit? Wow... what is the world coming to? Ok good, I thought I was the only one who was thinking that. | ||
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