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This just happened to me this weekend.
A friend of mine came up for the weekend to party with me and my friends here at UWO. On Friday we were all having a good time, and the girl that had come to visit me was having too much of good time- if you know what i am talking about. Needless to say, half way through our night she really had to go to the bathroom. Because i was the only sober one left standing after a night at a house party, i decided to take her to the bathroom.
Now here is where it gets good.
Here at UWO ALL of our bathroom as locked. The only way into them is if you have a room key, and live in the dorms. Now i took a girlfriends key so i could get into the girls bathroom on the floor. The reason i am going with her, is because she is too drunk to open a door that requires a key.
So there we are, me holding on to her so that way she doesn't fall- key in hand. As we shuffle down the hallway, we make it safely to the door of the girls bath room. Once we arrived i took the key and opened the door. Mind you im only one foot in the bathroom, (no i wasn't planning on going in just helping her get there) when suddenly a girl
RA appears behind me.
She has the 'ohh your a pervert' look on her smug face, and proceeds to write me up. wtf.
I tried to explain the situation to her but she wouldn't hear any of it, and i had to meet with my hall director and go through some meeting shit. At this point i am fed up with this bullshit because this is not what it looks like, and everything is being blown way way out of hand. However who am i to say such things? UW oshkosh is a fucking insane.
After my meeting with my RHD he gives me my punishment: Write a single page paper about what you did wrong.
Now i am not complaining about the punishment. It is fair, don't get me wrong. But what i am complaining about is the fact that these people are talking this thing way way out of hand. I have a writeup in my student file, and of course the smug bitch that 'caught me in the act' has her little story. Which by the way makes me sound like a complete tool.
So to get back at 'the man' i decided to write this little ditty:
“Why We Can't Have Nice Things”
Ben Kozloski
Required Disciplinary Writing Paper
4/3/09
The night that will live in infamy. It all started as good fun, but then something terrible happened. I decide to go and be a complete idiot. I threw away all of my beloved morals, and code of ethics that I try so hard to uphold. In a world of questionable moral values and declining etiquette what would the world be like if everyone acted like me? I realize now that the transgression I committed strikes at the core of what one would consider to be appropriate and acceptable to a person of my age and background. I fell as if I have let many people down with the decision to enter the girls bathroom. I let myself, my school, god, and of course everyone who uses a bathroom down. All because of one faithful night, and one terrible decision.
I can honestly say that I have learned a great deal from going through this. I can say that it is God's honest truth that I am a changed man, and I will never make another mistake of this magnitude while I serve out the rest of my academic tenure. By stepping into the girls bathroom, even with the best intentions in mind, I willfully broke many of UWO time honored rules and traditions. These rules are simply put in place to keep everyone safe, and comfortable while attending school. If these rules were not aided by, the school and I daresay all of society would fall into a cesspool of barbarians clawing and scratching at each other.
Society has rules. Rules need to be followed, and I have defiantly realized that on matter how small the transgression or how insignificant the rule, that each and every one laid down before me should be abided by the best of my abilities. I hope that I will never have to incur the wrath of law enforcement again, and hope that this is the final time I will ever have a problem dealing with the regulations of UWO, because otherwise we just cannot have nice things.
If you can't tell- i just didn't give a fuck. So today this is what i received back from my hall director in an email.
It is hilarious:
Ben,
I received your paper. I will go ahead and close your case and consider your sanctions finished, however I would note that your grammatical effort and relation to the topic you were asked to write about were of very poor quality. I trust that you take more time and put more effort into other papers you write for classes.
I would also suggest to you that your sarcasm is not an attitude that will carry you very far at this university, or in your life outside of school, and you may find success in your life comes easier when you don't burn bridges in relationships around you.
Sincerely, [leaving the name out]
So all in all i feel like a 5 year old, and i just don't care right now. UWO can think whatever they want of me and really i think that all turned out well. I got a few giggles and really isn't that what is important in life?
 
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Thread didn't deliver 
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Your grammatical effort was poor? It seemed fairly solid to me. At least the Hall Director wasn't dumb enough to not see the sarcasm in that. Your residence association is REALLY dumb, btw. Do you go to some kind of a christian or like really old and traditional university?
I've been caught by an RA IN the girl's bathroom when I was dorming...they just told me to finish helping the drunk friend (been in your position many times) and to get out ASAP.
The only time I was ever written up was when they caught us drinking (alcohol not allowed in dorms)...like beer bottles literally fell out of the fridge in front of them...so it's kind of like...you can't not get written up for something like that.
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On April 07 2009 14:50 Shivaz wrote:Thread didn't deliver
This, I thought there was gonna be epic sexings with drunk girl in the bathroom, or even with the RA when you said she showed up, but I was let down.
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letter could've been more epic
1/5
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I don't know any RA who would write people up for something like that, nor would lie about it so wantonly.
Then again, my RA is powerless to do anything, so meh -_-
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Wow that's pretty gay of them. Sucks they that did that considering what you were actually trying to do. I probably would have wrote a letter of the same sort though if it happened to me too. The response was pretty funny haha.
+ Show Spoiler [Theme] +Bad shit sometimes happens to good people.
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Don't worry too much about it, the RA is probably a feminist Nazi who has nothing better to do and hasn't gotten laid in a while. Just try to avoid her from now on.
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
definitely* as in adverb of definite.
1/5
lol defiantly
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I think his response was spot on, he does what he has to do because the people who put him there have expectations of him. If he doesn't enforce the rules then he is out of the job and possibly endanger the lives of his students. I also noticed the many errors and it did make you like kinda bad when you were trying to be bitterly eloquent. You came off as a dick. All in all, next time find the RA and have her escort her to the bathroom 
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jeez, does UWO stand for University of Wisconsin-Orwellian?
have the next letter say "deez nuts"
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On April 07 2009 14:53 PH wrote:
Your grammatical effort was poor? It seemed fairly solid to me.
:| I've never ever claimed to have good grammar and you can find horrible posts throughout my 7yrs here at this site, but you have to think of the context of his letter as to why it was in such bad taste
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On April 07 2009 15:01 LumberJack wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2009 14:53 PH wrote:
Your grammatical effort was poor? It seemed fairly solid to me. :| I've never ever claimed to have good grammar and you can find horrible posts throughout my 7yrs here at this site, but you have to think of the context of his letter as to why it was in such bad taste
i think he/she meant that you tried hard to write grammatically correct but did not try hard to think about the topic, but he/she just jumbled up the sentence
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it took me 5 min to write. I never spell check or re-read/ re-worked anything.
So really ya. Sorry about the let down guys. I was hoping that the return letter would be enough of a joke to satisfy you.
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CA10824 Posts
i'm an RA at USC and honestly i've never met an RA who goes out looking to write people up. in fact, most of us go out of our way to avoid situations where we would encounter something that necessitates a writeup (because it strains the relationship with the resident and the resulting paperwork is a pain in the ass)
then again you always have the weirdos who have some sort of power trip complex.
by the way, you were being a dick to the RHD. when a situation is documented, there will be some kind of consequence. it could be anything from writing a public letter of apology which you have to hand deliver to every single other resident on your floor, writing a 5 page essay, or even doing community service. the RHD obviously realized that the situation was not a big deal, but because of his job description he has to enforce some sort of punishment. the fact that you only had to write a 1 page paper shows that he knew it was a very minor transgression, and in return you write a sarcastic essay like that.
not good man, not good.
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You think that it really would be that bad? I mean really? During the meeting i was sincere and i tried to let the guy know that really this is all a big mistake. But he STILL made me do some stupid shit idk.... I just really don''t like it when things get out of hand like this. And im the one looking like a fool in the end. So really i was just frustrated and wanted to blow off some steam.
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On April 07 2009 15:01 LumberJack wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2009 14:53 PH wrote:
Your grammatical effort was poor? It seemed fairly solid to me. :| I've never ever claimed to have good grammar and you can find horrible posts throughout my 7yrs here at this site, but you have to think of the context of his letter as to why it was in such bad taste
There weren't any glaring grammatical issues, trust me. Your director is a tool.
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On April 07 2009 15:07 LosingID8 wrote:
i'm an RA at USC and honestly i've never met an RA who goes out looking to write people up. in fact, most of us go out of our way to avoid situations where we would encounter something that necessitates a writeup (because it strains the relationship with the resident and the resulting paperwork is a pain in the ass)
then again you always have the weirdos who have some sort of power trip complex.
by the way, you were being a dick to the RHD. when a situation is documented, there will be some kind of consequence. it could be anything from writing a public letter of apology which you have to hand deliver to every single other resident on your floor, writing a 5 page essay, or even doing community service. the RHD obviously realized that the situation was not a big deal, but because of his job description he has to enforce some sort of punishment. the fact that you only had to write a 1 page paper shows that he knew it was a very minor transgression, and in return you write a sarcastic essay like that.
not good man, not good.
this is the best reason to move off campus as soon as humanly possible
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yeah I thought the girl was going to require you to help her in the stall since she was so drunk. thread did not deliver
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I think you made your point.
The only way to write that without coming off like a giant asshole would be to use metaphorical language otherwise there is no way around treating whoever is reading it like a dipshit.
I think you wrote it the correct way!
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EPT
