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On April 06 2009 16:43 Tadzio wrote:
The people that flake on you actually call? The flakey girls I know will invite me out(!!!) then not show up. One of the worst examples I've ever experienced happened last summer. A girl I knew MSN'd me and said "I need a really big favor! I'm moving to a new apartment and need help moving. Can you come over tomorrow at (blahblahtime) and help out. We can hang out afterwords!" I say "sure" and show up at her apartment the next day at the right time. She's not there. I wait 20 minutes just twiddling my thumbs and then leave.
5 hours later she sends me another MSN message, "omg, I totally forgot! Maybe you can come over tomorrow and help?"
My response? "Fuck you." Didn't talk to her again for 5 months.
Now that's flakey.
Rofl you serious? She asked you for help and didn't show up? And then she had the gall to ask you to come again?
That's just ridiculous.
On April 06 2009 18:06 Person514cs wrote:
Having problem find a protential mate in your local area?
That's not too bad. There are 6.7 billion people out there. If you can afford to travel around the world I am sure you will find some interesting ladies.
Go to China and India, there are over a billion girls there. ^^
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Affection only goes so far, after so long a deluge of:
"Oh sorry, I have a meeting tonight."
"Oh sorry, my parents are coming up this weekend."
"Oh sorry, I have to do laundry." (WTF!?)
"Oh sorry, I have other plans." (Guess she ran out of excuses.)
"Oh sorry, I'm having dinner with my sister."
All of which occur mere hours before I'm about to see her, there's just a breaking point I have to reach. I've tried brushing it off, I've tried getting angry about it, but it's all fucking useless, so I just gave up.
Now I refuse to tolerate any of it, not worth it.
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United States12607 Posts
Thanks for the advice everyone. Kennigit asked some questions, so...
On April 06 2009 21:39 Kennigit wrote:
Ok JWD the problem here is not girls. The problem here is you. It's not that your a douche bag, the girls probably are legitimately interested at first but then you are dropping the ball - this is why you are getting dodged. So some questions
- how are you meeting these girls
- how long do you talk/know them for before asking them out
- time between ask out and date?
- Flake:Success Ratio (real one not iccup extraoplation one).
Usually I meet these girls at class or through other things I do on campus (work out, play soccer, go to some parties). And usually I do not talk to them very much before asking them out - especially now that I'm a senior, I don't really feel like beating around the bush. It's safe to say that most girls that have flaked on me (but not all!) don't know all that much about me before the date.
Time between the ask-out and date is an average of 3 days, and I'd say my flake:success ratio is... 1:4. Yeah wow, that's pretty bad. How depressing.  Look, I swear I'm not awful-looking or a sociopath.
I guess my question for Smix (and people who are saying that a flake is a sure sign the girl's just not interested) is, what's my next move after I've been flaked? Like, if the girl proposed the next night instead, should I bite? Or is continuing to pursue the girl futile? I guess I'm just not really sure where to go from here.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
this has to be one of the best emoticon one liners ever.
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On April 06 2009 23:58 JWD wrote:
I guess my question for Smix (and people who are saying that a flake is a sure sign the girl's just not interested) is, what's my next move after I've been flaked? Like, if the girl proposed the next night instead, should I bite? Or is continuing to pursue the girl futile? I guess I'm just not really sure where to go from here.
You can try turning it around on them to see if they are still interested in you. IE: in half joking tone "you flaked on me last time, i dont like that and i doubt you would either. but MAAAYYYBEE If you treat me to lunch, i'd forgive you =p"
if shes really sorry, you get free lunch =D
for those into the domination/powerplay theory (for what its worth): this totally flips the scales to the guy's favor. and if she isnt willing to act on her apology (as opposed to just empty words), then she probably isnt sorry/isn't worth it in the first place.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
On April 06 2009 23:58 JWD wrote:
Usually I meet these girls at class or through other things I do on campus (work out, play soccer, go to some parties). And usually I do not talk to them very much before asking them out - especially now that I'm a senior, I don't really feel like beating around the bush. It's safe to say that most girls that have flaked on me (but not all!) don't know all that much about me before the date.
K this is a problem...at this point you are just a guy. You have no value. This is probably the biggest problem. I know just jumping to the chase is easier but this is 100% why they are flaking out...Smix is right when she says they aren't interested - thats because you haven't done anything to really make them interested. Being yourself isn't good enough at college where girls and guys alike can pick whoever they want.
Time between the ask-out and date is an average of 3 days, and I'd say my flake:success ratio is... 1:4. Yeah wow, that's pretty bad. How depressing. Look, I swear I'm not awful-looking or a sociopath.
See above lol. Has nothing to do with your looks or shit like that. You need to make yourself high value target so they are thinking about you in the shower in morning.
I guess my question for Smix (and people who are saying that a flake is a sure sign the girl's just not interested) is, what's my next move after I've been flaked? Like, if the girl proposed the next night instead, should I bite? Or is continuing to pursue the girl futile? I guess I'm just not really sure where to go from here.
If she flaked out on you she already thinks you are low value. Because you're at college and have enough girls to find fucking drop the one that flakes.
General Rules of Thumb
- Dont ask her out. If you have built some chemistry (i mean legit,...not just we talked after soccer lol), then just tell her what shes doing. Girls refuse to believe this but its 100% built into girl psyche to be lead and if you are asking her opinion you are lowering your value.
- actually asking her out is stupid, because if shes interested she's expecting that and if you do it thats boring. fuck with her. Ask her why she hasn't asked you out yet. If you read her properly she will giggle or get awkward or whatever, if you sucked then she will tell you to fuck off.
- at that point tell her your going for coffee tomorrow...kinda depends on girl but you can also pull out that she's paying.
- If she refuses (to pay..most likely she will lol) then you can tell her she's being boring and to never ever talk to you again cause you don't want your reputation to be ruined, then compromise that you'll buy her a cookie but she buys coffee or whatever - just be fun and interesting - again depends on the girl....its all in your tone, tease her and joke with her - whether its a joke or not, if you are demonstrating your confidence and your value she will immediately be attracted to that. its nature bros.
- pm your msn and we can talk more.
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United States12607 Posts
OK, new question: the girl who flaked on me last night rescheduled for tonight, and I agreed to see her. Should I call her and cancel, just to make her sweat it out / give me some time to "build my value"? I'm thinking I'm still going to see her.
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Kennigit, I swear you need to do a strat guide on this!
Just asking - I try not to text everyday (i hear/feel this is wussy) but just breaking contact for a few days - is it acceptable?
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Kennigit, aren't you some sort of badass military man?
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On April 07 2009 00:09 thedeadhaji wrote:ok that on the other hand was prolly one of the worst oneliners ever
Hey, it was a good one liner!!! IT WAS!
tip:
+ Show Spoiler +
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just go see her JWD.
Although I have little experience with girls flaking on me, as I have always been friends with the girl before I dated them.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On April 06 2009 16:37 HeavOnEarth wrote:
be moar spontaneous
fuck plans
this.
dont make plans with girls more than 1 day in advance
and if you're so mad at all their flaking, become the flaker
make plans with 2-3 girls a day to ensure meeting atleast one then when u meet one cancel the other two
eat that flaking bitches
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On April 07 2009 01:37 Rekrul wrote:this. dont make plans with girls more than 1 day in advance and if you're so mad at all their flaking, become the flaker make plans with 2-3 girls a day to ensure meeting atleast one then when u meet one cancel the other two eat that flaking bitches
But if all 2-3 of them flake out on you, then you lose even worse, no?
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On April 07 2009 01:55 ghostWriter wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2009 01:37 Rekrul wrote:On April 06 2009 16:37 HeavOnEarth wrote:
be moar spontaneous
fuck plans this. dont make plans with girls more than 1 day in advance and if you're so mad at all their flaking, become the flaker make plans with 2-3 girls a day to ensure meeting atleast one then when u meet one cancel the other two eat that flaking bitches But if all 2-3 of them flake out on you, then you lose even worse, no?
then go to a party and find more bitches to flake on u
the possibilities r endless
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Reading this made me think about all the people that have flaked on me.
None! I'm the 'flake' I've noticed. Some of my friends say I'm
like the president; I'm the hardest person to get a hold of
because of how busy I am.. I'm like the biggest frosted
flake of them all; People are always calling me to hang
out and stuff, so, naturally, I have to ditch people all the time
, and even worse because I can charm
really good and lie excellently.. The friends I flake on
usually stay friends though ;3 just a couple die off~
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Eff, you don't need to spend all this time and money on girls. Because then the stuff you get (aka reservations, slipping all that petty cash, junk change, wine boozies, shaking the branches, hang drying their sweaty britches.) you are just gonna be sucked dry and it will hurt worse than just being straight with them. You've been clanking these jars of wine for TOO long! Its time to get serious and just get in their face and say "HEY! I'm a man, I thought we had a something going here! You dont like? Then I guess you can do fine by yourself! ERGNH!"
Don't worry about guys though, that happens all the time. There's plenty of time to hang out and do nothing. Although parties or hard rock concerts, you gotta build up into the absolute greatest thing ever, because thats what it is. The effin greatest thing ever.
Oh yeah, if the girls aren't like close close friends, just screw it. You don't need them, you never needed them anyways. You'll get over it. Start something big and awesome and leave them out of it, maybe show it to them, and just walk away leaving them just all woo woo woo. You got this man. Don't let them tear you up. You are better than them. You'll find the right girl one day, and she won't ever leave you if you don't try so hard.
In otherwords, kennigit is right, you gotta become this symbol of awesomeness, which is easy to do. Just do what you do best and make it stand out. Start a party, make a movie, play some effin awesome music and just be yourself but times it by infinity. Its not trying to hard, its just what it is. You have to be the best. And feel very strongly about it.
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Yeah it is annoying when you drop a couple hundred on a night with a girl and she just doesn't show then the next day says "OH sorry I forgot to tell you I was sick."
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EPT
