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Smix
United States4549 Posts
On April 06 2009 16:31 JWD wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 16:31 Smix wrote:
If a girl is ACTUALLY interested, she won't flake on you. FML Edit: on second thought, this just can't be true. I have had girls lose my interest by flaking on me, and then call/text me multiple times the next week trying to get a second chance at a date. The girl who flaked on me tonight went out with me a couple days ago and said she had a great time - all signs (aside from the flake) point to her being interested.
That doesn't mean she's interested, that means she's relishing your attention. If you stop paying attention, of course they'll want it back - but this is VERY different from actually being interested.
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this problem has a solution but i'm in bed and can't type it out right now i'll try to remember to post tomorrow pm me to remind me if you want
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Ok JWD the problem here is not girls. The problem here is you. It's not that your a douche bag, the girls probably are legitimately interested at first but then you are dropping the ball - this is why you are getting dodged. So some questions
- how are you meeting these girls
- how long do you talk/know them for before asking them out
- time between ask out and date?
- Flake:Success Ratio (real one not iccup extraoplation one).
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Calgary26004 Posts
I find now that I'm an old man I don't have time for this shit. If people are late (within reason) or last minute flake, it really bothers me now, whereas I used to not care that much. It's just so rude.
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United States22883 Posts
On April 06 2009 16:22 intrigue wrote:
yeah super agreed, it's just a really really stupid game to play. it's kinda as if i already fucked up before i even hung out with her, or that i'm a pathetic guy with no self-respect to put up with this. you can't even let her know you're upset though because you'll look like an asshole asdoijasf just the way it is, was and always will be i suppose
on the other hand some of my friends just seem destined to be dandruff forever, and although it's still frustrating and annoying it's pretty cute too, like their heads are just full of helium and sometimes end up in space. i don't think that's the case for most people, probably just gross irresponsibility and inconsideration.
cut copy is really cute too i say you ditch this girl
edit: as i've said to many others your troubles in life may be directly correlated to your dirty protoss icon
Agreed on everything, ESPECIALLY the protoss part. I hate games.
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I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
A lot of girls just need a little time to get to know you better before they can be comfortable spending time with you alone on a real date.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
On April 06 2009 21:58 ishob wrote:
I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
See this man JWD? Be like him. Solid solid solid
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
On April 06 2009 21:58 ishob wrote:
I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
A lot of girls just need a little time to get to know you better before they can be comfortable spending time with you alone on a real date.
If a girl is genuinely interested, she'll go out on a date whether she is insecure or not. If genuinely interested, showing up isn't the biggest thing on their minds - it's how they'll act around the guy once they're on the date, because they if they like the guy, they want the chance of getting to be with him - they'll just be nervous while doing it.
That being said, I stand by my original point that if they're flaking, they don't genuinely like you - they're milking your attention.
From what I've seen - those girls will take time to learn that milking attention is messed up. A lot of people I know still do it. The best thing to do is to realize she's not the girl for you and move on. She'll most likely start acting like she's interested and may even flat out say "I like you" but this is all just to get your attention back. You need to be able to discriminate between the girls who just want attention and the girls who are actually in it freal. You WILL find a girl who won't flake out and use you just for your attention - it just takes time.
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On April 06 2009 22:00 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 21:58 ishob wrote:
I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
See this man JWD? Be like him. Solid solid solid
As far as things to do with people you don't know very well, rock climbing/dance classes are on the same end of the spectrum. And neither are very good for most situations unless you've already spent a significant amount of time with her which afaik isn't the current problem.
Don't try these. Try coffee. The early stages of modern dating is about comfort, no girl wants to commit to a 4 hour date with a guy who might be super awkward.
Also if a girl is flakey about talking in a coffee shop for half an hour it's no big deal and it's easy to reschedule on the spot.
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On April 06 2009 22:05 Smix wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 21:58 ishob wrote:
I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
A lot of girls just need a little time to get to know you better before they can be comfortable spending time with you alone on a real date. If a girl is genuinely interested, she'll go out on a date whether she is insecure or not. If genuinely interested, showing up isn't the biggest thing on their minds - it's how they'll act around the guy once they're on the date, because they if they like the guy, they want the chance of getting to be with him - they'll just be nervous while doing it. That being said, I stand by my original point that if they're flaking, they don't genuinely like you - they're milking your attention.
This is wrong, a girl who says yes and then backs out is much more likely to have thought you were cool as a first impression so she said yes to whatever you said... and then backed out because a concert is a lot of pressure and girls just don't have to tolerate awkward situations when looking for a boyfriend anymore.
It used to be standard to just accept that you could be on this awkward long ass date and people would just endure it.
Now smart people just go for coffee and make sure they have chemistry before going on a real date... it makes a whole lot of sense.
And by smart people I basically mean A) Guys who realize this is completely the way to go almost 100% of the time. and B) Girls that aren't desperate OR are smart enough to say hmm how about we go to coffee and get to know each other first.
Also always break the ice a either the day before or the day of depending on the time between the plans and the plans themselves.. preferably with something that will make her laugh.to cast away her doubt just in case she's having them...
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
On April 06 2009 22:16 inReacH wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 22:05 Smix wrote:On April 06 2009 21:58 ishob wrote:
I think a lot of flakes are simply because a lot of girls are really insecure. Sure they'll agree to go on a date with you because they do actually want to, but as you keep getting closer they'll get more and more afraid to spend time alone with you. First time i ask girls out i don't even make it seem like a date, depending on what kind of girl ill ask her out to do anything from rockclimbing to danceclasses.
A lot of girls just need a little time to get to know you better before they can be comfortable spending time with you alone on a real date. If a girl is genuinely interested, she'll go out on a date whether she is insecure or not. If genuinely interested, showing up isn't the biggest thing on their minds - it's how they'll act around the guy once they're on the date, because they if they like the guy, they want the chance of getting to be with him - they'll just be nervous while doing it. That being said, I stand by my original point that if they're flaking, they don't genuinely like you - they're milking your attention. This is wrong, a girl who says yes and then backs out is much more likely to have thought you were cool as a first impression so she said yes to whatever you said... and then backed out because a concert is a lot of pressure and girls just don't have to tolerate awkward situations when looking for a boyfriend anymore. It used to be standard to just accept that you could be on this awkward long ass date and people would just endure it. Now smart people just go for coffee and make sure they have chemistry before going on a real date... it makes a whole lot of sense.
No, trust me - if it's someone a girl likes, she will go on the second date. Especially if they get along after a first date - she'll definitely go.
I agree that going for coffee is the best date when things are just getting started - but if the guy asked the girl somewhere else for a second date after a good first date, she WILL go.
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You kinda missed the point, coffee is also something i could ask a girl out to because you're probably in a nice little coffee place with a bunch of other people. The point was that a lot of girls flake because they are scared to go on a 1on1 date with you, and honestly why shouldn't they if you just met. Do something casual first to get her comfortable and then ask her out.
Smix its easy to assume she's toying with you because thats how us males work, we want an answer and usually we want it even before we finished asking the question. Where we are pretty straightforward like that most girls aren't, and you should ask yourself if you really think all girls are just mean, or if maybe the answer isn't that simple.
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
On April 06 2009 22:21 ishob wrote:
You kinda missed the point, coffee is also something i could ask a girl out to because you're probably in a nice little coffee place with a bunch of other people. The point was that a lot of girls flake because they are scared to go on a 1on1 date with you, and honestly why shouldn't they if you just met. Do something casual first to get her comfortable and then ask her out.
Smix its easy to assume she's toying with you because thats how us males work, we want an answer and usually we want it even before we finished asking the question. Where we are pretty straightforward like that most girls aren't, and you should ask yourself if you really think all girls are just mean, or if maybe the answer isn't that simple.
I'm a girl - trust me, if they are flaking that often, they are not interested in something serious.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Or you have failed at making them interested in something srs. You know how people say "oh don't blame yourself just try again  ". No. Blame yourself you fuck up JWD, get mad and get better and then become a serial rapist!
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On April 06 2009 22:23 Smix wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 22:21 ishob wrote:
You kinda missed the point, coffee is also something i could ask a girl out to because you're probably in a nice little coffee place with a bunch of other people. The point was that a lot of girls flake because they are scared to go on a 1on1 date with you, and honestly why shouldn't they if you just met. Do something casual first to get her comfortable and then ask her out.
Smix its easy to assume she's toying with you because thats how us males work, we want an answer and usually we want it even before we finished asking the question. Where we are pretty straightforward like that most girls aren't, and you should ask yourself if you really think all girls are just mean, or if maybe the answer isn't that simple. I'm a girl - trust me, if they are flaking that often, they are not interested in something serious.
I'm talking about meeting someone new.. If it's someone you are already comfortable around and they are flakey.. try asking them what they want to do next time and if they have no opinion and flake out on your ideas.. yea give up.
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United States22883 Posts
On April 06 2009 22:23 Smix wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 22:21 ishob wrote:
You kinda missed the point, coffee is also something i could ask a girl out to because you're probably in a nice little coffee place with a bunch of other people. The point was that a lot of girls flake because they are scared to go on a 1on1 date with you, and honestly why shouldn't they if you just met. Do something casual first to get her comfortable and then ask her out.
Smix its easy to assume she's toying with you because thats how us males work, we want an answer and usually we want it even before we finished asking the question. Where we are pretty straightforward like that most girls aren't, and you should ask yourself if you really think all girls are just mean, or if maybe the answer isn't that simple. I'm a girl - trust me, if they are flaking that often, they are not interested in something serious.
Wanna go out for coffee?
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Hmm.. Kennegit, what are good responses to your questions?
Sometimes I find myself going slightly overboard and being too smiley and jokish, if you get my drift, and i think this puts a very bad image across. Do you think being calm and composed at all times is the way to go, or truly being yourself? (aka realistic vs idealistic situations)
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KILL HER
On April 06 2009 21:16 Smix wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2009 16:31 JWD wrote:On April 06 2009 16:31 Smix wrote:
If a girl is ACTUALLY interested, she won't flake on you. FML Edit: on second thought, this just can't be true. I have had girls lose my interest by flaking on me, and then call/text me multiple times the next week trying to get a second chance at a date. The girl who flaked on me tonight went out with me a couple days ago and said she had a great time - all signs (aside from the flake) point to her being interested. That doesn't mean she's interested, that means she's relishing your attention. If you stop paying attention, of course they'll want it back - but this is VERY different from actually being interested.
he's rite some girls just want ur attention or just feel bad that they were being flaky but they set up a meet and they flake out again... soo IMO those ppl r not worth keeping as friends
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On April 06 2009 23:10 Flakes wrote:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
its ok i didn't mean you =/
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EPT
