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My girlfriend and I were having some problems so we decided to take a 4 week break from each other to sort things out. Long story short, we met at the Palisades mall yesterday and we worked things out. Coming back together on Valentine's day, cliche I know. So anyway, since I haven't seen or spoken to her in 4 weeks I was in a pretty damn good mood to be back together with her.
We were going to see a movie and were sitting on some concrete bleacher like steps as we were waiting. It's Valentine's day, we're in a good mood so we're doing cute hugging and kissing stuff. Nothing too out of the ordinary but apparently about 4-6 black kids sitting on the railings a few meters behind me decided they were going to pick on us. First they start saying stuff like "Quit kissing" or "Why don't you hug her some more?" and stuff like that, in fouler terms of course. I just ignore them, I'm in too good a mood to be bothered. So I just smile and laugh a little with my girlfriend. Not to be ignored, they decide to walk down the steps so they are on the same level as me and start yelling more stuff more aggressively. I had my back to them and just kept ignoring them. I think they got pretty close to me but I didn't see.
Eventually they must have gotten bored or frustrated by the fact that I was ignoring them and didn't seem bothered by them at all since I was still laughing and smiling away with my girlfriend. So they decide to start throwing pennies at me. They miss a few times and eventually hit me in the back. It obviously didn't hurt but I was like "wtf?" So I look back for the first time and they all are now facing the other way, obviously trying to hide their involvement.
Like I said before, I was in too good of a mood to be bothered so I just went right back to hanging out with my girlfriend, smiling and laughing, for a few more minutes before we headed off to the movie. One of the kids was actually blocking the stairwell so as we approached him I just smiled and said in the nicest possible way "Excuse me sir" and motioned that I intended to pass. He looked confused then moved aside. We saw our movie and that was the end of that.
So now looking back to yesterday's events in hindsight, I'm trying to think if I made the optimal decision. Now that I'm off my great mood from yesterday I'm actually pretty annoyed with those sad excuses for life. The three obvious choices I see are that I could have walked over there and asked them what their problem was, walked over and started a fight, or left the area and gotten mall security involved. The fight option is obviously a bad choice for a number of reasons.
So I'm curious TL, what would you have done in my place? And if it differs from your first answer, what would you have recommended?
  
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u did the right thing by ignoring them.
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United States24698 Posts
I think your story shows several good qualities about yourself. My malls wouldn't have that problem most likely, and I'm fortunate to have no experience with that. I probably would go away (and possibly towards security) to avoid a scenario where I felt compelled to beat the crap out of some people... that wouldn't go down well no matter what haha
edit: although I wouldn't be in a scenario where people were accusing me of hugging/kissing/etc with my girlfriend... wouldn't do that in a setting like that.
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good decision making there on the ignoring them. or you coulda pulled out your 9 and showed them whats up
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I would have called them something that started with N and told them to F themselves and go find your own gf. When they start throwing pennies....lol I don't know if I'm allowed to say it here or not
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Northern Ireland22208 Posts
Ignoring them was the right thing to do. I dunno about the US, but over here, so many people get stabbed in a situation like this because they reacted.
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well the right thing to do is to ignore them. I would've chased them away or said something that would've made them leave, cause I like to do the whole alpha-male shit.
but I agree with micronesia;
the fact that you could ignore them says alot of good things about you.
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you didnt make a bad choice. Each choice has its advantages and drawbacks, so dont feel too bad
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Fight! Pride is the number one thing that separates the weak from the strong. You should have stood up and been like "YO WTF LETS GO RIGHT NOW", even though you were totally outnumbered. Never back down, never run away, or you'll be picked on your whole life. That's just how it is.
That's just my take on life however. You probably have a different outlook, and that is totally okay. Different situations call for different circumstances, if you know what I mean.
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Well you did pretty good only one minor flaw, you should have ask them to pour those pennies to your pocket rather than throwing it. Wasting money what a shame. + Show Spoiler +
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definitely handled it the right way
other choices of action would end in regret for both parties imo, they were obviously set on doing stupid shit so they'll pay for it eventually
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You picked the right choice at that moment. Firstly your GF was with you, and you wouldnt want to risk her getting hurt for no reason. Secondly, there were more than 1 of them, and who knows what they were concealing as far as weapons go. It would be a really sad story if you tried to physically defend yourself, and ended up stabbed or shot. It may seem a bit far fetched, but could totally happen.
Lastly, even if they didnt carry any weapons, and you managed to fight them and win. You would most likely be escorted out of the mall, ruin your movie , piss off your girlfriend, possibly be banned from the mall in the future, and on top of all of that....they could of pressed charges against you , leaving you with a court date, and a hefty fine.
In the end, you did the right thing. Now, if you happen to see 1 of them by chance sometime in the future, alone...walking somewhere...then by all means feel free to get revenge. 
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In a crowded area like a mall, ignoring them is probably a good choice. In a more isolated more it could just get more aggressive instead.
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SHOULDA CALLED PAUL BLART
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Nice patience dude. Good work.
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Definitely the right decision - good job.
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What's funny is that often times (young) guys feel they need to stand up for themselves/their girl aggressively, with the specific intention of providing security for said girl, and more importantly, fueling their male ego.
Girls usually despise any kind of violence and are almost never impressed by their boyfriends getting in a fight - well, at least not in the manner/circumstances you described, or unless they're stupid, just like their boyfriends who get into fights. This is valid, even though way too many girls are in a love/hate relationship with arrogant/egocentric guys.
You did the best thing you could have, it was mature and civilized. You should have either done what you did, or you could have walked away.
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And yeah, her safety should be important to you, so no violence/provocative behavior.
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could have been a gangrape...
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
How big were they? How big are you? Was there 4 of them or 6 of them. Were they wearing baggy clothes? Do you have any training to deal with these situations (physically)? Does your girlfriend? Do you carry a weapon?
These questions determine if you should have dropped them or not (made the right or wrong decision). Its crazy when 3 or 4 16 year old punks think they can take someone on, weapon or no weapon, experience or no experience they are complete underdog. If they were 20+ you would get raped though.
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It's so dumb when a bunch of 16 year olds come into these threads and say shit like
MAN U SHOULDA DROPPED DEM EZ FIGHT NEVA BACK DOWN PRIDE IS EVERYTHING AT LEAST THATS HOW I LIVE MA LIFE HOMIEZ
Not fighting was obviously the correct choice, it shouldn't even be necessary to ask. Since it seems it's just a rhetorical question so that you can tell your story, you might as well not have even asked.
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On February 16 2009 04:35 minus_human wrote:
What's funny is that often times (young) guys feel they need to stand up for themselves/their girl aggressively, with the specific intention of providing security for said girl, and more importantly, fueling their male ego.
Girls usually despise any kind of violence and are almost never impressed by their boyfriends getting in a fight - well, at least not in the manner/circumstances you described, or unless they're stupid, just like their boyfriends who get into fights. This is valid, even though way too many girls are in a love/hate relationship with arrogant/egocentric guys.
You did the best thing you could have, it was mature and civilized. You should have either done what you did, or you could have walked away.
something more civilize could've been teaching those pricks a lesson.
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On February 16 2009 04:54 Kennigit wrote:
How big were they? How big are you? Was there 4 of them or 6 of them. Were they wearing baggy clothes? Do you have any training to deal with these situations (physically)? Does your girlfriend? Do you carry a weapon?
These questions determine if you should have dropped them or not (made the right or wrong decision). Its crazy when 3 or 4 16 year old punks think they can take someone on, weapon or no weapon, experience or no experience they are complete underdog. If they were 20+ you would get raped though.
- They were all pretty average to lanky in size. Pretty short though which implies to me they were pretty young. I'm about 5'7" and most looked shorter than me by a good few inches. If I were to take a guess they were around 16 years old, high schoolers. I'm 24, for comparison.
- Like I said, 5'7" ish and I'm pretty small myself. I do some rock climbing and did martial arts for 5-6 years but I wouldn't say I'm terribly in shape.
- That threw me a bit, most were wearing baggy clothes and then one or two of them was wearing khakis and a polo shirt. Leads me to believe they are from a good neighborhood but they think they're thug or something.
- I have training like I mentioned but no experience which I think is more valuable. My girlfriend most certainly does not.
- I generally carry a pocket knife but it's very small, I don't really know if it could be used as a weapon. http://www.shop4leatherman.co.uk/leatherman_micra_leatherman_tools.jpg The blade is sharp as hell but like I said, tiny.
Like I said before, starting a fight would have been the obviously bad choice. I don't think it would have gotten very far before security got there anyway since it was in the middle of the food court with loads of people around. This isn't some sketchy mall either, the Palisades in a massive mall with a majority population of white/jewish customers. Fairly upscale and clean, not a place you would ever imagine gangs and such to be present at.
After hearing everyone's responses I guess it really was the right call. Thanks for the reassurances.
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On February 16 2009 05:01 Forgottenfrog wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2009 04:35 minus_human wrote:
What's funny is that often times (young) guys feel they need to stand up for themselves/their girl aggressively, with the specific intention of providing security for said girl, and more importantly, fueling their male ego.
Girls usually despise any kind of violence and are almost never impressed by their boyfriends getting in a fight - well, at least not in the manner/circumstances you described, or unless they're stupid, just like their boyfriends who get into fights. This is valid, even though way too many girls are in a love/hate relationship with arrogant/egocentric guys.
You did the best thing you could have, it was mature and civilized. You should have either done what you did, or you could have walked away. something more civilize could've been teaching those pricks a lesson.
*sigh*
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Obviously you stand up and challenge them to a freestyle rap contest. You let them catch the blast of your hype verse, then pull out your glock and bust a cap.
Dawg.
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In a world that is today where everyone can sue you for whatever reason you did a good thing..
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You did good. Politely asking him to move was a great idea Well done.
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Also I agree with minus_human. The need to constantly beat your chest and display your masculinity is immature.
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On February 16 2009 05:12 Samurai- wrote:
In a world that is today where everyone can sue you for whatever reason you did a good thing..
That is really irrelevant.
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On February 16 2009 05:13 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Also I agree with minus_human. The need to constantly beat your chest and display your masculinity is immature.
And this need also displays just how insecure one is inside.
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On February 16 2009 05:12 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Obviously you stand up and challenge them to a freestyle rap contest. You let them catch the blast of your hype verse, then pull out your glock and bust a cap.
Dawg.
Would have been awesome if this was fakesteve's blog and he actually did that and caught the ownage on film.
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I appointed Kennigit my bodyguard. You should too.
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He watches out for me and my gf (currently nonexistant) and my homies. This one time when something kind of similar to this happened Kennigit broke his arm no joke
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On February 16 2009 05:13 minus_human wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2009 05:12 Samurai- wrote:
In a world that is today where everyone can sue you for whatever reason you did a good thing.. That is really irrelevant.
No its not, and when you ll get sue for something stupid your will understand..
My point was that from all the option he could do, walking away is the best thing / ignoring... However mature or manly it sounds to "beat them up" , in the end, if there is a possibility to walk away, like it was here , it is the best choice.. Otherwise you can have a lot of lame unnecessary trouble, like having injuries, being sued, having trouble later with revenge etc..
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100% the right move. Would have been absolutely stupid to start anything outnumbered and with your girlfriend there. Plus, that was absolutely what they wanted.
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well played!
i don't know how i would handle the same situation. usually when it's 2 guys kissing you get alot worse than pennies thrown at you though.
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Glad you were in a good mood .
pictures of gf!! ;;
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On February 16 2009 05:34 3clipse wrote:
100% the right move. Would have been absolutely stupid to start anything outnumbered and with your girlfriend there. Plus, that was absolutely what they wanted.
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On February 16 2009 05:24 Samurai- wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2009 05:13 minus_human wrote:On February 16 2009 05:12 Samurai- wrote:
In a world that is today where everyone can sue you for whatever reason you did a good thing.. That is really irrelevant. No its not, and when you ll get sue for something stupid your will understand.. My point was that from all the option he could do, walking away is the best thing / ignoring... However mature or manly it sounds to "beat them up" , in the end, if there is a possibility to walk away, like it was here , it is the best choice.. Otherwise you can have a lot of lame unnecessary trouble, like having injuries, being sued, having trouble later with revenge etc..
The whole concept is, he shouldn't have refrained from violence only because of the fear of getting sued. That's stupid, the reasons why any decent person avoids starting/getting involved in acts of violence should be totally different.
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Would be even better if it was possible to embarrass them in an accidental way.
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u should dig them up on yellowbook, and kick each one of thier asses.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
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You did the right thing. Those kids got owned 
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nice self restraint you have there, good job
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If i was your girlfriend, I'd like you even more. The decision you made was appropriate given the situation, if it got out of hand, you could of just gone to the security. So all in all, you'll find twerps like that often, it's just a matter of how you handle them in separate situations.
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just be extremely polite, and they'll be like, shit, we messed with the wrong guy. as in, give them like 100 dollars to get the fuck out. that's if you're a baller.
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lol, reciprocated love has a weird way of making people not care about problems, so i would have probably acted similarly ... though i would have probably moved away from the group of kids to somewhere more secluded - valentine's day makes single people (especially a group of them) especially more jealous of couples 
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Bosnia-Herzegovina1437 Posts
I would of beat there ass right there. But that's not a smart thing to do.
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Of course that was the correct response, avoiding the aggressive animal instinct shows great self control. If there's quite a few people about ignoring is best, if one day you're out at night in a quiet place, just run. Anyone who tells you to fight is a fortunate fool or has never been in a fight.
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On February 16 2009 04:07 spydernoob wrote:
good decision making there on the ignoring them. or you coulda pulled out your 9 and showed them whats up
hahahahaha
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they could have been very young
which could be very annoying
good job
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On February 16 2009 04:04 KingofHearts wrote:
u did the right thing by ignoring them.
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You're a better man for handling the situation in a mature way.
I think if I were faced with a similar situation (them disrespecting me and my girlfriend) I wouldn't have had that kind of self-restraint.
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you did the right thing cause i don't think you could have handled them. most likely they would have been carrying weapons, and even if not i think they could outpower you given that you're a fairly small guy.
sometimes i wonder how often this type of situation happens, where a group of guys or a bigger guy picks on smaller guys. i've never seen it, but i've heard about it, and myself i've fallen victim to it being only average size myself.
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Hmm, interesting situation. I think you handled it very well, not much else you could have done. Where I live, I can't see that happening unless I went to a really scuzzy part of town. Imo, I would avoid doing that in a place where you think something like that might happen in the future. I find avoidance is usually the best.
I mean try to relate to them, you have probably been in a situation where you have seen a couple in public all over each other and have been grossed out, who hasn't. Multiply that grossness factor big time because they are kids. If they are looking to be assholes, you guys would be prime targets (unless you are like 6'6 and huge).
So perhaps try to avoid doing that type of thing in a place where that might happen, I mean it's really not that hard. Obviously some places are better than others to do that (parks, etc). I can see some people responding to this by saying "oh that's bullshit, you should be able to do that anywhere you want", but if somebody wants to do that stuff anywhere, they should be prepared with the possible consequences.
Again, good job in handling the situation.
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Just to clarify, we weren't making out or anything. We were just sitting next to each other, I had my arm on her opposite shoulder and she was leaning her head on my shoulder. Just a quick peck on the lips every now and then, nothing I wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of my parents or something.
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i was in a similiar situation a few weeks ago. I was watching high school music 3 with my gf (i know -_-, she picked the movie).
A few emo kids with girls and boys in the group sat in the back row and started throwing chick bones at us. I stood up and had a few words with them. None of them owned up to the act but they stopped for the duration of the movie.
If they weren't so young, i would've called security right there but yeah it depends on the situation. If i was in a mall or similiar surroundings i would have got up and walked away with gf. Not worth it to get into a fight and ruin the day for you.
You don't need to defend yourself against every single retards that walked your way. I would have smashed them if they had done anything to my gf but they were just being pests. That's what teenagers do :/ I myself used to do stupid shits with friends.
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whyd they have to be black. wait.
howd i know they were black? seriously. this happened to me before but it wasnt more like fucking pennies and shit but i was getting my car from a pretty black-populated section of the city, of which i wont name and these kids(ranging from 12-16) started saying shit about fried chicken(LOL KTF) and pork fried rice and shit like that, i ignored it. doesnt matter but seriously, wow. howd i know they were black. >____> yeah ignoring them seems to be best. otherwise murder. -__-
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On February 16 2009 05:52 minus_human wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2009 05:24 Samurai- wrote:On February 16 2009 05:13 minus_human wrote:On February 16 2009 05:12 Samurai- wrote:
In a world that is today where everyone can sue you for whatever reason you did a good thing.. That is really irrelevant. No its not, and when you ll get sue for something stupid your will understand.. My point was that from all the option he could do, walking away is the best thing / ignoring... However mature or manly it sounds to "beat them up" , in the end, if there is a possibility to walk away, like it was here , it is the best choice.. Otherwise you can have a lot of lame unnecessary trouble, like having injuries, being sued, having trouble later with revenge etc.. The whole concept is, he shouldn't have refrained from violence only because of the fear of getting sued. That's stupid, the reasons why any decent person avoids starting/getting involved in acts of violence should be totally different.
Sadly, we have those reasons already, its called religion..
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On February 16 2009 04:02 Phyre wrote:
4-6 black kids sitting on the railings
Important information.
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Should've rounhouse kicked them to the face.
Nah seriously you did the right thing, their attempts failed and they had nothing to laugh about later, other than their complete failure.
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Actually you did the perfect shit, dunno why you're bummed out about it all of a sudden.
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pathetic
as i personally know karate to some degree i would probably have picked up the penny and thrown it back at them, yelling "excuse me sir, you dropped your penny", in response to this they would probably have gotten closer and i would theoretically uppercut the first villian in the chin, a instant demise of one. the rumble that could have followed might have resulted in broken ribs on the rest as i have a great right hook
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ask yourself, what would fedor do?
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On February 16 2009 22:08 MarklarMarklar wrote:
pathetic
as i personally know karate to some degree i would probably have picked up the penny and thrown it back at them, yelling "excuse me sir, you dropped your penny", in response to this they would probably have gotten closer and i would theoretically uppercut the first villian in the chin, a instant demise of one. the rumble that could have followed might have resulted in broken ribs on the rest as i have a great right hook
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On February 16 2009 22:08 MarklarMarklar wrote:
pathetic
as i personally know karate to some degree i would probably have picked up the penny and thrown it back at them, yelling "excuse me sir, you dropped your penny", in response to this they would probably have gotten closer and i would theoretically uppercut the first villian in the chin, a instant demise of one. the rumble that could have followed might have resulted in broken ribs on the rest as i have a great right hook
You'd be dumb to pick a fight with 4-6 people -- even if you know martial arts and are good at fantasizing about breaking them. In a real fight with that many people, someone will get behind you. It's your dumb testosterone speaking when you think you're as invincible in real life as you are in your fantasies.
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Hah. I'm glad my SC buddy is more mature than I am. Good luck to you and your girlfriend in the future. :3
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Yeah you did show a lot of restraint and maturity, I agree with all these people. Thats pretty impressive.
But when people starting throwing things things at you - im sorry but your "male ego" or being the "alpha male" has nothing to do with it. If you throw something at me im not gonna just sit there and take it. You can still keep your cool, and handle the situation in a mature way, without having your dignity and selfrespect dragged through the fucking dirt by some jerk. Like someone else said, this kind of attitude/aura/energy will bring you harrassment your entire life.
Im not saying I would pick a fight 6 to 1. Telling security is not an option. [for me - unless weapons or violence was involved]. My honest answer is I dont know what I would have done. Guess I would have to be put in the situation.
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On February 17 2009 06:40 haley wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2009 22:08 MarklarMarklar wrote:
pathetic
as i personally know karate to some degree i would probably have picked up the penny and thrown it back at them, yelling "excuse me sir, you dropped your penny", in response to this they would probably have gotten closer and i would theoretically uppercut the first villian in the chin, a instant demise of one. the rumble that could have followed might have resulted in broken ribs on the rest as i have a great right hook You'd be dumb to pick a fight with 4-6 people -- even if you know martial arts and are good at fantasizing about breaking them. In a real fight with that many people, someone will get behind you. It's your dumb testosterone speaking when you think you're as invincible in real life as you are in your fantasies.
Dude you have to take MarklarMarklar's 10 foot long, 200 pound penis into account. I don't think this is just his testosterone speaking--he could probably honestly take that many people on without a real problem. With ONLY 4-6 people you have to assume that at least half of them get taken out by the first swing of the penis, the it's just a matter of finishing off the rest.
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I haven't read the whole thread, but it sounds like you made the optimal decisions. If anything, I'm sure your girlfriend appreciated it.
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i think there's a reason why you never hear of one person beating up a gang of guys unless it's jackie chan against a group of unruly thugs. seriously, as much as your ego makes you think you can handle any shit thrown your way, you're gunna get killed when outnumbered.
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EPT
