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My girlfriend and I were having some problems so we decided to take a 4 week break from each other to sort things out. Long story short, we met at the Palisades mall yesterday and we worked things out. Coming back together on Valentine's day, cliche I know. So anyway, since I haven't seen or spoken to her in 4 weeks I was in a pretty damn good mood to be back together with her.
We were going to see a movie and were sitting on some concrete bleacher like steps as we were waiting. It's Valentine's day, we're in a good mood so we're doing cute hugging and kissing stuff. Nothing too out of the ordinary but apparently about 4-6 black kids sitting on the railings a few meters behind me decided they were going to pick on us. First they start saying stuff like "Quit kissing" or "Why don't you hug her some more?" and stuff like that, in fouler terms of course. I just ignore them, I'm in too good a mood to be bothered. So I just smile and laugh a little with my girlfriend. Not to be ignored, they decide to walk down the steps so they are on the same level as me and start yelling more stuff more aggressively. I had my back to them and just kept ignoring them. I think they got pretty close to me but I didn't see.
Eventually they must have gotten bored or frustrated by the fact that I was ignoring them and didn't seem bothered by them at all since I was still laughing and smiling away with my girlfriend. So they decide to start throwing pennies at me. They miss a few times and eventually hit me in the back. It obviously didn't hurt but I was like "wtf?" So I look back for the first time and they all are now facing the other way, obviously trying to hide their involvement.
Like I said before, I was in too good of a mood to be bothered so I just went right back to hanging out with my girlfriend, smiling and laughing, for a few more minutes before we headed off to the movie. One of the kids was actually blocking the stairwell so as we approached him I just smiled and said in the nicest possible way "Excuse me sir" and motioned that I intended to pass. He looked confused then moved aside. We saw our movie and that was the end of that.
So now looking back to yesterday's events in hindsight, I'm trying to think if I made the optimal decision. Now that I'm off my great mood from yesterday I'm actually pretty annoyed with those sad excuses for life. The three obvious choices I see are that I could have walked over there and asked them what their problem was, walked over and started a fight, or left the area and gotten mall security involved. The fight option is obviously a bad choice for a number of reasons.
So I'm curious TL, what would you have done in my place? And if it differs from your first answer, what would you have recommended?
  
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u did the right thing by ignoring them.
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United States24771 Posts
I think your story shows several good qualities about yourself. My malls wouldn't have that problem most likely, and I'm fortunate to have no experience with that. I probably would go away (and possibly towards security) to avoid a scenario where I felt compelled to beat the crap out of some people... that wouldn't go down well no matter what haha
edit: although I wouldn't be in a scenario where people were accusing me of hugging/kissing/etc with my girlfriend... wouldn't do that in a setting like that.
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good decision making there on the ignoring them. or you coulda pulled out your 9 and showed them whats up
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I would have called them something that started with N and told them to F themselves and go find your own gf. When they start throwing pennies....lol I don't know if I'm allowed to say it here or not
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Northern Ireland22212 Posts
Ignoring them was the right thing to do. I dunno about the US, but over here, so many people get stabbed in a situation like this because they reacted.
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well the right thing to do is to ignore them. I would've chased them away or said something that would've made them leave, cause I like to do the whole alpha-male shit.
but I agree with micronesia;
the fact that you could ignore them says alot of good things about you.
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you didnt make a bad choice. Each choice has its advantages and drawbacks, so dont feel too bad
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Fight! Pride is the number one thing that separates the weak from the strong. You should have stood up and been like "YO WTF LETS GO RIGHT NOW", even though you were totally outnumbered. Never back down, never run away, or you'll be picked on your whole life. That's just how it is.
That's just my take on life however. You probably have a different outlook, and that is totally okay. Different situations call for different circumstances, if you know what I mean.
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Well you did pretty good only one minor flaw, you should have ask them to pour those pennies to your pocket rather than throwing it. Wasting money what a shame. + Show Spoiler +
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definitely handled it the right way
other choices of action would end in regret for both parties imo, they were obviously set on doing stupid shit so they'll pay for it eventually
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You picked the right choice at that moment. Firstly your GF was with you, and you wouldnt want to risk her getting hurt for no reason. Secondly, there were more than 1 of them, and who knows what they were concealing as far as weapons go. It would be a really sad story if you tried to physically defend yourself, and ended up stabbed or shot. It may seem a bit far fetched, but could totally happen.
Lastly, even if they didnt carry any weapons, and you managed to fight them and win. You would most likely be escorted out of the mall, ruin your movie , piss off your girlfriend, possibly be banned from the mall in the future, and on top of all of that....they could of pressed charges against you , leaving you with a court date, and a hefty fine.
In the end, you did the right thing. Now, if you happen to see 1 of them by chance sometime in the future, alone...walking somewhere...then by all means feel free to get revenge. 
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In a crowded area like a mall, ignoring them is probably a good choice. In a more isolated more it could just get more aggressive instead.
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SHOULDA CALLED PAUL BLART
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Nice patience dude. Good work.
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Definitely the right decision - good job.
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What's funny is that often times (young) guys feel they need to stand up for themselves/their girl aggressively, with the specific intention of providing security for said girl, and more importantly, fueling their male ego.
Girls usually despise any kind of violence and are almost never impressed by their boyfriends getting in a fight - well, at least not in the manner/circumstances you described, or unless they're stupid, just like their boyfriends who get into fights. This is valid, even though way too many girls are in a love/hate relationship with arrogant/egocentric guys.
You did the best thing you could have, it was mature and civilized. You should have either done what you did, or you could have walked away.
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And yeah, her safety should be important to you, so no violence/provocative behavior.
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could have been a gangrape...
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EPT
