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Okay. Firstly, let me say that I am not writing this blog with the intentions of gaining any sort of sympathy. Secondly, this blog could turn out to be quite long simply because I'm writing it more or less on a stream of consciousness. I apologize in advance if my ideas seem fragmented.
In January of 2008, my girlfriend and unborn child were killed in an car crash about 45 minutes from where I live. Her and I had been together almost three years, and were going to be having our child sometime in April. The cause of the accident was a head-on collision. The driver (I'll call him Mr. J) had managed to cross over a median and drive onto the wrong side of the road, killing them instantly. Upon arriving at the hospital, the doctors found a pound of marijuana stuffed in the guy's pants. That's not important right now, but will be later.
Let me stop for a second, and also say that the aim of this blog is more to help myself shed some light on the grieving process. I encourage anyone who's experienced the loss of someone close to them to post and share their experiences in dealing/handling this loss.
Back to the story: Due to the hospital being located in a different city than the accident, he was charged twice in two different jurisdictions. The police could not prove that Mr. J had any criminal negligence to cause the accident, so manslaughter was out of the window. The only realistic charge he could face was reckless driving, as well as a possession charge from the pot. A blood test can not reveal how recently someone had smoked, so there was no way of proving he was high during the accident.
As it turns out, he was convicted of the reckless driving charge and got six months in jail (so only three with good behavior). He also ended up pleading guilty in the possession case. It's taken all year for the system to process this case, which means I can't get a break from anything. I haven't been able to put this to rest because I'm constantly reminded of it. The 'justice' system is fucked, I tell you what. But that's another story.
So now, a year later, I guess you could say I'm still bent up over it. I've basically lost the desire for a relationship and sex. It just seems like any girl I've met is just not good enough. Mr. J's trial is still not finished, he faces sentencing later this year. Each and every day I have to drive past the scene of her accident, which doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I normally use the time to pay my respects to her, whether it by a kiss to the sky or simply an "I love you" whispered to the heavens. I miss her more than anything in the world, I can't stress that enough.
Okay, story over. Sorry if it seems I haven't actually SAID anything.
So to anyone who's experienced a loss: please share your experiences.
edit: By experiences I guess I mean with death, injustice, and all-around bad luck. That's just the tip of the iceberg for me as far as 2008 was concerned. Tornadoes, abductions, arrests, surgeries, and more death followed as the year progressed!
  
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I am sorry for your loss.. It reminded me of what I got and how much I should appriciate it
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Belgium6755 Posts
I haven't had losses that come even close to what you went through but I just wanna wish you the best and hope that eventually you'll be able to continue your life happily.
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16939 Posts
You know, I'm never sure exactly what to say in these situations. It's hard to express sympathy over the internet, but do know that I'm sorry for your loss, wish you all the best and hope that you make it through these times.
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Fuck this is so horrible I really don't know what to say.
All the best man
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I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me... You're a hero for being able to live on, in my opinion. I hope someday you find peace with yourself over what happened. Keep on going.
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After reading your post I sit teary-eyed in front of my screen, speechless.
My brother died in a head-on collision with a truck, but although the exact situation was never fully reconstructed it seems that the crash was his fault. He was a very inexperienced driver and I honestly don't feel any hatred for the driver of the truck. However I can very much relate to what you must be feeling like.
I think you are doing the right thing. Reading the sentence about you paying your respect to her makes me believe that you are a good hearted person and have the right mind set.
To find your peace you will need time... Much more time than a year. You shouldn't push yourself anywhere, just take your time and try to find a way of thinking which makes you feel at ease with yourself. Maybe speaking with the driver of the car will help you at some point of time, but when that will be only you can know.
Best wishes for you!
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That's some bullshit that the guy is only guilty of negligence for not paying attention and killing someone else in a wreck. You have my condolences.
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I lost my mother in a car accident merely 2 weeks ago, so although the circumstances were different, I can kinda feel with you. (My story can be found here)
I'm in the lucky position of being very stable mentally. Hanging out with friends helped me a lot. Maybe it can help you too. Chin up! It helps nobody if you are sad, and I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't want you to be bitter for a long time. Easier said than done, I know, but try to find happiness for yourself. I don't know if having Mr.J in prison can achieve that for you.
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You weren't looking for it, but you have my sympathy. I still love you LordWeird; Ahzz says he does too.
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On January 11 2009 02:55 NoobsOfWrath wrote:
That's some bullshit that the guy is only guilty of negligence for not paying attention and killing someone else in a wreck. You have my condolences.
And probably being high.
You (OP) also have my condolences.
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Man... I'm on the edge of crying here I feel so sorry for you
Hope you'll find happiness again...
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I drove on the wrong side of a one-way about twice in the last month being stewnd.
O dear... =(
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Sorry man. I wish I cold come up with words to make things right but I can't.
I hope your pain goes to rest. Sorry for your loss.
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I am so sorry for your loss - best of luck to you
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I had a relative died in an elevator accident 2 years ago. She wasn't very close to me but to my cousin. I talked with him a lot and I know how it feels.
I believe that you will move on and find your happiness soon.
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An incredibly sad story. Losing someone you love is maybe the hardest thing in the world. No one should have to experience the pain you must have gone/still be going through.
My thoughts are with you, sincerely.
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This is quite possibly one of the saddest things I have ever read, I'm so sorry for you.
Hope you find happiness in the end.
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Hungary11238 Posts
I feel sorry for you, my condolences. May you find back the joy of life at some point.
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EPT
