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Honestly, dude, I think you're over-empathizing.
Yes, that guy has a problem, and some people do. But I think you're just hitting a rut, and trying to find an explanation. I've been there before. I'll blame it on something way too extreme for it to be true, but accept that.
Honestly, I think that for a single male, porn isn't abnormal, if it is in "moderation" (can't think of a better word). If you're going to the bars, hit on chicks, dance, etc. Honestly, there's someone out there. Get into a hobby. But don't give up on everything you have right now, because you will be more upset than right now.
I don't think you really think life is worthless, take a good look at it before you start telling yourself things like that.
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Zurich15366 Posts
Newsflash: You are one of many, many, many disillusionized, disaffected young males in 2009.
Porn is not your problem.
Watch Fight Club over and over again until you know every beat of it by heart.
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Watching Fight Club isn't the solution. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding instead.
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On January 06 2009 15:19 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Watching Fight Club isn't the solution. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding instead.
Windex is the solution?
PS: Helvatica's advise was god awful. Take it only if you want to be the guy everyone hates because he's not good at anything, but acts like he is.
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On January 06 2009 15:22 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On January 06 2009 15:19 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Watching Fight Club isn't the solution. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding instead. Windex is the solution? PS: Helvatica's advise was god awful. Take it only if you want to be the guy everyone hates because he's not good at anything, but acts like he is.
mind explaining what the hell you're talking about?
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Confidence should be a result of obtaining skills (and knowing you can use them), not in deciding you're good enough right now. It's not normal for any human being who has an excess of time to just do nothing with it, even if you are just a kid.
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On January 06 2009 15:22 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On January 06 2009 15:19 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Watching Fight Club isn't the solution. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding instead. Windex is the solution? PS: Helvatica's advise was god awful. Take it only if you want to be the guy everyone hates because he's not good at anything, but acts like he is.
There's a huge difference between being confident and being a self-righteous douchebag. How is it bad advice to do what you want to do in life and actively pursue your own interests? If you sit around worrying about everything and whether or not you'll succeed or fail, you end up more depressed than if you just tried and fail.
Better fucking advice than Windex.
edit- You don't just gain confidence by obtaining skills. It's just about being comfortable and okay with yourself. That's the first step.
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On January 06 2009 15:27 Chef wrote:
Confidence should be a result of obtaining skills (and knowing you can use them), not in deciding you're good enough right now. It's not normal for any human being who has an excess of time to just do nothing with it, even if you are just a kid.
umm, no
confidence is about believing you are capable should you apply yourself
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Sorry, this through me off:
Then I realized I'm young and it's perfectly normal not to have done anything, and why should I even care if I've accomplished anything. The only thing I need to accomplish is living the life I want to live. I don't give a damn if I'm remembered.
I thought you were saying it was okay to sit around and do nothing 
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On January 06 2009 15:29 travis wrote:Show nested quote +On January 06 2009 15:27 Chef wrote:
Confidence should be a result of obtaining skills (and knowing you can use them), not in deciding you're good enough right now. It's not normal for any human being who has an excess of time to just do nothing with it, even if you are just a kid. umm, no confidence is about believing you are capable should you apply yourself
Confidence is a word. People who have gained skills and know they can apply them deserve the confidence. People who just say "oh, well if I tried, I'd be great" shouldn't.
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I think that is what he is saying.
I do not think he is saying that's what someone should do, but it's perfectly fine if it is what they end up doing.
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On January 06 2009 15:29 Chef wrote:Sorry, this through me off: Show nested quote +Then I realized I'm young and it's perfectly normal not to have done anything, and why should I even care if I've accomplished anything. The only thing I need to accomplish is living the life I want to live. I don't give a damn if I'm remembered. I thought you were saying it was okay to sit around and do nothing
Yeah, I'm glad to see it was just a misunderstanding.
What I'm saying is that you don't need to make meaningless accomplishments just because other people think that's important. Not to do nothing.
Travis- in the rare case, if that really makes someone happy then go for it. You shouldn't live your life trying to please anyone for yourself. Luckily evolutionary psychology has it ingrained into us that interaction, helping people, and being productive is pleasing.
Just don't try to live your life based on someone elses definition of success. Define what success is for you, then start trying to make "accomplishments".
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You might not be that successful at all , but like the other dude said live your life for you , what makes you happy. One thing that sucks is that most of the people around you are living the "norm" having significant others and so on. Everything on tv and radio programs you to believe breaking that norm is wrong. Fuck it , even if you don't succeed with any females, at least you tried, enjoy other things in life.
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On January 06 2009 15:31 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On January 06 2009 15:29 travis wrote:On January 06 2009 15:27 Chef wrote:
Confidence should be a result of obtaining skills (and knowing you can use them), not in deciding you're good enough right now. It's not normal for any human being who has an excess of time to just do nothing with it, even if you are just a kid. umm, no confidence is about believing you are capable should you apply yourself Confidence is a word.
lolz
People who have gained skills and know they can apply them deserve the confidence. People who just say "oh, well if I tried, I'd be great" shouldn't.
the ability to apply yourself without fear of failure is in itself a skill
confidence is not the same as arrogance
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OP I know what you mean, I'm in a similar boat although not as dramatic as that article paints it.
I don't think internet porn 'addiction' is really the problem, the real problem is that ppl like you and me don't socialize like other ppl and have trouble forming strong friendships outside of the kids we grew up with (at least for me) and get bored easily and end up without something to do. Porn just happens to be the most satisfying way to relieve bordom and pass time.
I can especially sympathize w that article about this part
+ Show Spoiler +My single minded purpose in life has became to have a girlfriend, like any normal guy. I honestly care about nothing else, and I haven’t in a long time.
altough I have alot more optimism and a much better life than the article writer.
I can't offer much in terms of a solution other than saying that I think we(I/you?) need to trust ppl more.
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i actually saw fight club for the first time recently, watching that over and over will solve a suprisingly large amount of problems
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I don't think (a lack of) fear of failure and confidence are the same. Confidence is thinking you won't fail. Fear is being genuinely uncomfortable at the possibility of failing, and it's consequences. Someone learning to skate knows they're going to fall a bunch of times, they're not afraid that they're going to fail a lot before they get good. At the same time, they're not confident they're going to get it right on their first try either They're only confident when they've at last gained the skill (or they may be confident they'll pick it up quickly, because they've succeeded in learning other similarly difficult skills before).
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I think you need to stop watching porn. I used to have this problem. The thing about porn is that its really all just a show. Its not what sex actually is. If you so desire for someone in your life for you to meet and enjoy your love with, its really important that you take away porn from your life because it distorts your image of what sex is.
I can never reconcile how girls in porn shows behave as if they get really hyped up based on physical aspects but in reality, women seek a deeper emotion with their partners.
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I SUGGEST ONE THING: LAVALIFE or a similar dating service. You are not alone.
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United States3824 Posts
Reading this almost makes me feel like it isn't going to take 21 minutes to download the files I need for school.
So did I misread the OP? Because I got jumped on there.
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EPT
