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Chef's Tips! Episode Three -A Religious Experience

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-30 22:12:10
November 30 2008 20:01 GMT
#1
Today, on a very special Chef's Tips!, I will be telling you about the day our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, saved me from certain doom.

It all happened on a day of great famine. At 4:15 PM, through a series of tubes called "The Internet," I informed my friend that I was very hungry and tired, and that I was probably going to die of starvation within the next ten minutes. I told her that I could either read her e-mail, or I could make a last ditch effort to go downstairs and find something edible. She told me I should do that latter, and so I made my way toward the kitchen. Unfortunately, it seemed already too late, as I collapsed onto the kitchen floor. It was at this moment, that the following events began to take place between the times of 4:50 and 5:00 PM.

[image loading]


That day, Jesus Christ, our lord and savior, rescued me from certain death by starvation. He turned his body into beans on toast, and his blood into milk.... And I ate him. I ate Jesus Christ. Now I have to live my life for Jesus. I can't let Jesus Christ's sacrifice for me be in vain.

PS: Unfortunately, today's kitchen creation cannot be recreated, due to there only being one Jesus, and me already having used him up. I apologise.

***
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
-_-
Profile Blog Joined November 2003
United States7081 Posts
November 30 2008 20:03 GMT
#2
Funny stuff. Nice blog post.
HeadBangaa
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States6512 Posts
November 30 2008 20:06 GMT
#3
The only funny part is that you think someone would steal this.
People who fail to distinguish Socratic Method from malicious trolling are sadly stupid and not worth a response.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-30 20:23:20
November 30 2008 20:10 GMT
#4
You have sand in your vagina HeadBannga.... Please remove it, as it makes you irritable.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26004 Posts
November 30 2008 20:23 GMT
#5
On December 01 2008 05:06 HeadBangaa wrote:
The only funny part is that you think someone would steal this.

I think it might have been a play at making people post it out of spite. I see through his cunning plan, and 1 star this in response.
Moderator
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
November 30 2008 20:27 GMT
#6
Allow me to anal you, Chill.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
NrG.ZaM
Profile Joined March 2008
United States267 Posts
November 30 2008 20:28 GMT
#7
This isn't much of a tip... How are we supposed to benefit from this fabulous tale if there is only one Jesus?
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
November 30 2008 20:42 GMT
#8
great blog 5/5
I am not good with quotes
Insane Lane
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States397 Posts
November 30 2008 21:26 GMT
#9
On December 01 2008 05:28 NrG.ZaM wrote:
This isn't much of a tip... How are we supposed to benefit from this fabulous tale if there is only one Jesus?


Worship Hinduism. There, many gods for you to munch!
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-30 21:28:51
November 30 2008 21:28 GMT
#10
LOLOL
4 stars
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
November 30 2008 21:32 GMT
#11
hey who the hell is rating this down
zOula...
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States898 Posts
November 30 2008 22:10 GMT
#12
it still says "on jesus" instead of "one jesus"
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
November 30 2008 22:21 GMT
#13
even though I didn't find this funny, i gave it 5 stars because i like it's creator
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
November 30 2008 22:36 GMT
#14
On December 01 2008 07:21 travis wrote:
even though I didn't find this funny, i gave it 5 stars because i like it's creator


yeah lol that's basically what I did

how can you guys hate on chef
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