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Travis asked me to read this for his friend; since apparently the topic was closed and the victim banned in order to prevent further trolling, here are my thoughts:
Re: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=82090
First, it's a shame that anyone responded without being able to really imagine what he must have felt like in such a situation. The OP is a clearly written narrative leading you to a specific moment, with a follow up "wonderment" about the moment. If you don't share the moment, you can't answer the question. For those of you who couldn't read it--he is very close friends with someone, and also feels strong love for her, problem is she doesn't feel that way. But their friendship is completely awesome. Now this person, whose friendship alone would be one of the most important and valuable things in your current life (even without the feelings of love, you are sure), says to you something like "if only being friends is really that hard for you, maybe it would be better if we ended it completely--what do you think?" Your head spins--how do you know what to do under the pressure of love and loss of your most valuable friendship on the spot like that? For some people maybe decisions like that are easy, and feelings don't effect that or aren't that strong--but imagine they are. Imagine you're not a douchebag and you actually care--think back to when you watched movies or whatever and actually felt something strongly, nervous, to the point where it makes it hard to think and hard to do anything--maybe in your childhood. This is the situation he's describing; "you're dying inside; you're almost fainting; do you have the strength to rally?"
Gene said this happened to him recently (one of the few people who knows how to post enough so people can see what they are thinking for themselves rather than just agree/disagree with unstated assumptions):
you are not unique
time to grow up man up and get the fuck over it
the girl actually said to me
"Listen, you're making my boyfriend incredibly jealous and he doesnt deserve to be unhappy like that. You're cute, i like you, if i were single we would be a lot different. But its done. Stop. If you can't just be friends, its over entirely."
Cudos to Gene for knowing how to post. If others who said "this is common", "this is part of life", "it happens all the time" (which may be somewhat true, still not a reason for telling people to shut up or pissing all over their thread/not answering their questions/insulting them), perhaps then we would have a more productive thread and not a flamewar. It is these other people's lack of effort that made the thread shitty, not tika's imo.
But IMO this isn't a thread about girl trouble or even love. It's about getting a lot of emotional static and making it hard to keep it together. He isn't looking for a "solution" i.e. another girl, or get this girl. He doesn't want to wash out what this is with another girl, and he knows he's not getting this girl. He likes this friendship the way it is. He wants to understand why he doesn't get this girl; why does love work this way? Apparently having the closest possible friendship with a girl, being soulmates and child-like, doesn't actually translate into a sexual/romantic relationship, despite all the tradition telling us it does. It's disappointing because obviously the man is always ready (see evolution for details). Does the woman even know why she doesn't want it? Maybe, maybe not. It's just circumstance. It could be something subconscious that she can't possibly remember--something that lead to an attitude, a thought, a principle, a habit. We all are shaped by hundreds of thousands of influences like this, and if they stack up just wrong, those alone can mean that you won't want to do it with your best friend (as a girl). It might not be your looks, or attractiveness. Even if it is, then that's still just a slap in the face to all our common sense ideas of romance in the modern age.
When you are intoxicated by love it is easy to believe the stories we are taught--or any other ones for that matter. So the reality is very real for you--the reality of our common sense idea of love. It feels like she must feel it too, but does she really? Can we ever know?
He's not crying about some girl. He's wondering how he's going to keep it together (and this means his life and sanity, not "keeping from crying"). For you nerds, imagine if someone was going to take away your computer and all your friends who didn't suck, all at the same moment you are in love. Try to feel something and try to understand what's going on here for once.
Dozens of people say "this is common"--wtf kind of contribtion is that? #1 you don't give any examples of what YOU think the thread is similar to, and if you did you wouldn't be able to defend it, #2 even if it is too common for your taste then just GTFO. This thread to me doesn't sound like other "girl trouble" threads, if that's what you're grouping it in. Give me one link that you think is so similar to this problem that this thread should be moved/shouted down/fucked with. No one has, and if you did, your link would suck and you'd look stupid--which is exactly how your comments already look to me.
You fail: Folca, Jibba, sushiman, H_, CDRDude (no offense)
  
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United States24452 Posts
People get sick of seeing the same dumb things over and over again (dumb because they expect compassion on a forum that is completely unrelated).... and they act mean....
It's the internet and shit happens lol
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United States47024 Posts
On November 13 2008 03:24 Jibba wrote:HB with the smackdown. Show nested quote +Let me summarize what happened:
1. I close your emo girl thread that just degenerated into flaming.
2. You PM me to have it reopened. Instead of just telling you no way, I explain to you the reasons why its better to have a blog post about it.
3. You insist that there's some deep meaning behind your thread and that you're doing TL a great service for bringing such unique and amazing discussion topics to the general forum.
4. I say just make a blog, and apparently that's not enough for you. You have to MSN me to argue more, insult me saying I'm "not on your level" and "can't fully comprehend your thought process" etc. And now I'm "clueless".
I'm done being patient and understanding, enjoy the nuke icon.
Yes, some of the responses were inappropriate, but his responses and attitude toward them were equally inappropriate. Harassing a mod doesn't exactly help him either.
As was made clear, if he expected to argue, it should have been a blog post. If he didn't expect a response, it should have also been a blog post. Trying to force it into General on some basis of philosophical higher ground doesn't really get you anywhere.
The way I see it, the reasons for moving/closing the thread and banning the OP were fairly clear. The thread was moved because its very clearly blog material and not a General thread. The OP was then banned because he harassed a mod about said move. What is there to argue?
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hahahaha
4. I say just make a blog, and apparently that's not enough for you. You have to MSN me to argue more, insult me saying I'm "not on your level" and "can't fully comprehend your thought process" etc. And now I'm "clueless".
hahahahaha
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On November 13 2008 09:56 Suggestion Box wrote:
Travis asked me to read this for his friend; since apparently the topic was closed and the victim banned in order to prevent further trolling, here are my thoughts:
I don't remember doing that.
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Belgium6753 Posts
not this again god damn
at least this is in blogs lol
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I find it quite entertaining.
On a related note, after reading everything I must say that it's happened to nearly all of us and yes with the same emotions and feelings that you like to look down upon. The only problem is that you can't imagine anybody else feeling the same way you do, the same pain you're experiencing, perhaps you think you're a special case and that the world revolves in someway around you. To me, this is the same thing as many other 'love problem' thread, but you somehow need to make it seem much more than it actually is.
I thought I was special when I loved a girl, who was also one of my best friends and i truly did love her. We talked on msn/phone sometimes 7 hours a day, almost everyday, in the summer it could've been longer. Thought we were perfect together, bam!, she got a boyfriend (one that was like 100x better than me) went through the same emo things you did, kept being friends, suffocating, dying and the like, but you realize through time that you realize how simple the answer is. You move on. I'm sure with time you'll realize the same thing.
Talking to the original op btw.
And I'm into Mini-wheats frosted flavour for some reason. I don't even particularly like them >.>
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Tell whoever it is that wrote that, that he is an idiot.
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United States22883 Posts
tika was being a douche bag. We responded honestly and accurately, and all he could say is "this girl and I are a step above you and your experiences; we're on a higher intellectual level and that's why your advice doesn't apply."
He's in the motherfucking friend zone and if he wants to be happy, he needs to move on. It's that simple. tika is in denial and that thread was 5 pages of people laughing at his rude denial. And since none of us are in a one-way street relationship and stuck with the warped notion that we can just beg/convince our way out, it's really him that's the loser.
We would've just /sighed it off and ignored him if he hadn't been such an asshole about how mature and awesome and super super awesome he and his non-girlfriend are.
EDIT: Requiem for a Dream is the most overrated garbage on earth. Ass to ass is about the only redeeming part of it.
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internet
I personally find this ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS
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United States22883 Posts
no offense but in the "real world", at least between people who "think" as much as myself and my associates do, this is a very very ....unsophisticated, black and white way of thinking. if you are in a relationship with someone who is very thoughtful and intelligent, answers, paths, aren't so clearcut.
edit: this isn't america where relationships sprout and end on a whim. we put real value into our lives and what we do and what we experience.
I respond: "The Friend Zone is in international waters, sir."
anyone using "sir" to address someone especially after being doubted or questioned indicates an air of arrogance that is attributed usually only to the whimsical and the troll. basically it's a word that screams "i haven't really thought about what you are saying, i'm reacting spontaeniously and extremely confidently." unfortunately in REAL real life circumstance, ie life after the age of 23 when people are actually becoming or understanding what it means to be "mature in thought", extreme confidence is simply a deafening indication that a person is unenlightened.
imagine you're giving "love advice" to a 14 year old. you're 24. you tell them they're silly and how much they have to learn.
i wonder how much a 34 year old has to teach YOU. don't you?
yubee was probably right in that blog. She probably just feels sorry for a person like that.
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United States47024 Posts
On November 13 2008 11:05 Jibba wrote:
He's in the motherfucking friend zone and if he wants to be happy, he needs to move on. It's that simple. tika is in denial and that thread was 5 pages of people laughing at his rude denial. And since none of us are in a one-way street relationship and stuck with the warped notion that we can just beg/convince our way out, it's really him that's the loser.
Well, to be fair, he wasn't really asking for advice. He was really sort of just bemoaning his search for "enlightenment" while he made things awkward/agonizing for both himself and this unfortunate girl.
I personally don't give a damn about his personal problems either way, but the condescending way he approached the community (and then trying to call Jibba and others the arrogant ones) deserved a ban.
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On November 13 2008 11:27 TheYango wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2008 11:05 Jibba wrote:
He's in the motherfucking friend zone and if he wants to be happy, he needs to move on. It's that simple. tika is in denial and that thread was 5 pages of people laughing at his rude denial. And since none of us are in a one-way street relationship and stuck with the warped notion that we can just beg/convince our way out, it's really him that's the loser. Well, to be fair, he wasn't really asking for advice. He was really sort of just bemoaning his search for "enlightenment" while he made things awkward/agonizing for both himself and this unfortunate girl. I personally don't give a damn about his personal problems either way, but the condescending way he approached the community (and then trying to call Jibba and others the arrogant ones) deserved a ban.
I agree with this. I mean we all go through such things but I guess it really doesn't matter at the end of day when you find that right person.
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I hate to break it to you, but tika was just a troll. He was a previously banned troll, too. I don't know why they let him make so many posts.
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he isn't a troll, he is just out of touch
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On November 13 2008 13:24 travis wrote:
he isn't a troll, he is just out of touch
His way of thinking is certainly unique, I'll give him that much
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even though he will never succeed with the girl, ever, ever ever, and the only reason he won't lament not listening to us is because he's too stupid and he'll go NO REGRETS BRAH 2 SMART 4 DAT... at least he won me over. from now on in friend zone threads i'm just gonna say "keep going dude ur so close!! she def. wants to be with you she just can't yet!!"
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FUCK THAT BITCH
HOLLLLLLLLLYYYY SHIT
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On November 13 2008 11:05 Jibba wrote:
tika was being a douche bag. We responded honestly and accurately, and all he could say is "this girl and I are a step above you and your experiences; we're on a higher intellectual level and that's why your advice doesn't apply."
He's in the motherfucking friend zone and if he wants to be happy, he needs to move on. It's that simple. tika is in denial and that thread was 5 pages of people laughing at his rude denial. And since none of us are in a one-way street relationship and stuck with the warped notion that we can just beg/convince our way out, it's really him that's the loser.
We would've just /sighed it off and ignored him if he hadn't been such an asshole about how mature and awesome and super super awesome he and his non-girlfriend are.
EDIT: Requiem for a Dream is the most overrated garbage on earth. Ass to ass is about the only redeeming part of it. god everything about this post is awesome even the edit is like 100%
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On November 13 2008 09:56 Suggestion Box wrote:Gene said this happened to him recently (one of the few people who knows how to post enough so people can see what they are thinking for themselves rather than just agree/disagree with unstated assumptions): Show nested quote +you are not unique
time to grow up man up and get the fuck over it
the girl actually said to me
"Listen, you're making my boyfriend incredibly jealous and he doesnt deserve to be unhappy like that. You're cute, i like you, if i were single we would be a lot different. But its done. Stop. If you can't just be friends, its over entirely." Cudos to Gene for knowing how to post. If others who said "this is common", "this is part of life", "it happens all the time" (which may be somewhat true, still not a reason for telling people to shut up or pissing all over their thread/not answering their questions/insulting them), perhaps then we would have a more productive thread and not a flamewar. It is these other people's lack of effort that made the thread shitty, not tika's imo. oh my god i made like 5 posts in a row in that thread. do you know who the fuck i am?!?!?!?! saying gene knows how to post because he cited a specific example isn't fair, because not all of us have to, since this has happened to fucking everybody
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EPT
