Requiem For A Tika - Page 3

On November 14 2008 00:22 Suggestion Box wrote:
Well since everyone wants to talk about tika instead of my OP... I honestly don't think tika wanted a practical answer--a "way out." I think he was genuinely interested in why she doesn't like him romantically.

Some of you posted stuff like, "she must think you're ugly", "she feels sorry for you", "you are a creepy stalker" etc. I don't think we can conclude this from what we know. This is just immature guessing. You take a guy you don't like, and you assume the worst and shoot that down. That takes some skill. Then when he fires back that your assumptions aren't accurate you're like "lol you have a big ego to think you aren't as retarded as we say--no wonder she hates you", etc.

I'm not saying I know who's right, or about tika's other actions with mods and etc. Only, that from what I could see, tika is really friends with the woman he's talking about. Best friends. It's not only in his head. He's not way off base about this and if you think otherwise you had better give good reasons. You don't start giving someone advice by taking half of what they've given in the premise, reasonable things that could be true for anyone, and discarding them as delusions. THAT is insulting, and I'm surprised tika remained patient for as long as he did (in the thread I linked). I don't see all this crazy you guys are talking about. You also can't know why the woman doesn't like tika, such as whether she thinks he's ugly or feels sorry for him and whether that plays into their friendship at all. That's just utterly insulting to assume. It's completely normal for a guy to really have a real friend, and develop feelings for her, etc. You assume the worse, fighting ensues.

No one has been called out for this IMO and still no one thinks they were wrong AFAICT. Sure tika deserved to be banned. But was he the only one? IMO when you respond to a heartfelt post with such garbage as you see, assuming he is ugly, a stalker, a liar, deluded, an idiot, a child--you are also bringing down the site and contributing nothing. You are as bad as any flames that ensued as a direct result IMO.

"if simply being friends is really that difficult for you, perhaps we should just end it altogether. what do you think about that?"

and you answer...

"i don't know. i really don't know."

you're dying inside, you're almost fainting. do you have the strength to rally? how long can you keep this up for? is this the feeling of "hope" that keeps me alive? without this strength i would surely be wallowing in manic depression as i have done so many times before.

but how long can it last. i'm afraid. my only strength is in her own sense of enlightenment and the hope that she can forgive and accept me for what i am. and she seems to be able to do this. and for this i love her all the more.

On November 13 2008 13:24 travis wrote:
he isn't a troll, he is just out of touch

On September 13 2004 22:42 mensrea wrote:
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Common sense, people, common sense. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (And if you happen to be into masochism, then you're at the wrong site, anyway.)

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On November 14 2008 06:27 Suggestion Box wrote:
You say, he asked people to sympathize. Wrong. He asked for other people's specific experience that was similar. He didn't get that. He got a lot of people Palining it up "It happened to me"--nothing specific or useful to him at all, and then a bunch of interweb manly advice like "what you should do is jack off and then forget that bitch." He specifically said he didn't want advice.

On November 14 2008 06:27 Suggestion Box wrote:
Also you say that it's okay for people to make assumptions based on how he acts. Again be more specific. The assumptions I'm attacking are the first set before tika finally turned mad against the army of idiots doing exactly what he didn't want: (a) offerring their advice with (b) no useful actual examples described. People assumed that he was a child, that he was some teen asking how to win a woman, etc. That he wasn't as close to her as he said, etc. That's just insulting, and I believe those insults came first, before the other kinds of acts you are saying it's okay to make assumptions based on. IMO the second set of assumptions, ones based on how he responded to the idiocy, are one thing, and the first are another. I am attacking the first ones. When someone makes a thread like his OP, you don't respond with "actually you don't know the woman you're some nerd", that's retarded.

Guys let's not be so mean to tika:
-he is pretty new to TL and doesn't understand which posts should be where
-he is young and inexperienced, doesn't know that what he describes is very common
-he isn't used to how people respond here (like blowing up to "sir", which is often used in a joking way on TL)

This should be put back in blogs right away in my opinion.

@tika: most people go through this at some time or another. It is very significant at the time, but not uncommon. You must stay friends with this person. What will happen over time is that your romanic feelings will weaken and then all of a sudden you will discover someone else, and then they will disappear completely. Feelings for close friends can provide a sense of security to your emotional life but as soon as another good opportunity (ie girl) presents itself (herself), these feelings will often just vanish. All you need is patience and resolve.

thanks for the encouragement altho u must realise it does not appear as "encouragement" to me but simply as a positive attitude that i do not necessarily agree with. there are ALWAYS alternatives and certainly there are alternatives to this obvious and seemingly careless approach to life. u must understand that myself and this girl are...thinkers who aim to resolve their issues in the most rational way possible. this means a LOT of consideration is involved, hence me opening this topic to the various points of view available on this website

On November 14 2008 06:27 Suggestion Box wrote:
IMO tika's OP was a decent contribution, and I think he got almost nothing in response. Even the people who honestly were trying to help him didn't even read or understand what he was really asking, they just skimmed it and fired away like this was rpf asking for advice on how to get in his sister's pants. Or QuietIdiot asking for help on how to feel better because Sally turned him down. It was neither, guys. Come on.

On November 14 2008 06:51 TheYango wrote:
Then what's the point? Sharing experiences? Blog thread kkthx. IMO a thread where you post your own troubles just for other people to listen to them is incredibly arrogant. Posting it in General is even more so, implying that your personal troubles are somehow universally valuable.

On November 14 2008 06:27 Suggestion Box wrote:
IMO tika's OP was a decent contribution, and I think he got almost nothing in response. Even the people who honestly were trying to help him didn't even read or understand what he was really asking, they just skimmed it and fired away like this was rpf asking for advice on how to get in his sister's pants. Or QuietIdiot asking for help on how to feel better because Sally turned him down. It was neither, guys. Come on.

As I said, some of the posts he responded to did none of these, and he still responded to them with arrogance and condescension. Inlagsil's is a good example:



Misinterpreting the issue a little bit, but nonetheless a good, relevant post to the OP. Tika's response:



If you don't read arrogance and condescension in this post, well, I don't know what to say. Thats not even mentioning the hypocrisy of saying he's opening the thread to multiple points of view whilst tossing aside inlagdsil's contributions.

On November 14 2008 06:36 Cheif wrote:
Are you illiterate? I think you'd find yourself more at home at GosuGamers.net

On November 14 2008 08:04 JMave wrote:
Well SB, it really sounds like you are just wanting attention now. Are you tika anyway?

On November 14 2008 07:56 Suggestion Box wrote:
edit: and his post wasn't in the wrong place. if it was about a video card it wouldn't be moved to blogs. asking for other people's experiences on a matter, is very typical in general. you think just because it's' about girls, it is a blog. that's just ignorance man. it's just ignorance.

seriously I could go open 20 threads right now, change the noun to girl, and you're saying that makes it a blog instead of general. i call bullshit. bullshit on all of you!

interwebs.

On November 14 2008 07:56 Suggestion Box wrote:
Sorry but I don't read arrogance and condescension in his post. I think he's being rather understanding and honest; he's responding to the advice very kindly and in a friendly way--that's how I read it. It's an example of him being so patient IMO. He was being honest. How else should he have played it? Pretended it was good advice? Ignored it? I think he handled it in the gentlest way possible while still being productive towards his goals. He was letting someone down easy, who clearly was more naive than him, talking down to HIM, and missing the point. He did this time and time again before flaming anyone.

On November 14 2008 07:56 Suggestion Box wrote:
And all this talk about whether it should have been moved to blogs, or whether he had any point whatsoever in resisting the moving, remaking the topic, whether he went about it a bad way, w/e is not the point of this thread at all it's just another detour you guys want to make because the real issues at hand don't play the way you want it to. It's like if we're talking about Bush's domestic policy and you guys can't think of anything but the Iraq war.

On November 14 2008 08:12 Suggestion Box wrote:
you guys are so ridiculous. whenever you disagree with them it's
-spam / jokes
-ad hominem
-red herring

You guys who insult people constantly with your condescending "kid" and "let me tell you something" "when you're older" remarks are the first ones to whine that someone is arrogant.

On November 14 2008 08:14 Suggestion Box wrote:
Oh yeah and now that the bar is lowered for posting here, let me just remark that some guy here said that tika's experience was not universally applicable and therefore a blog and not a general thread. Yet you guys say, his experience is so common. Seems like a hypocracy don't ya think. Also if you applied this standard to General 90% of them should be blogs. Also, nah wait, I'm out of shit to say here.

Of course you guys supply an endless supply of bad stuff to point out, but I'm kinda tired.

On November 14 2008 08:28 Suggestion Box wrote:
So let me get this straight. General is for advice. But DISCUSSION is for blogs?

Backwards?

On November 14 2008 08:12 Suggestion Box wrote:

You guys who insult people constantly with your condescending "kid" and "let me tell you something" "when you're older" remarks are the first ones to whine that someone is arrogant.