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Norway10161 Posts
Warning: Relationship stuff and thoughts. NOT sc-related.
Part one was the strategy I threw out the window. Blog entry about the Game here. Part two was the butterflies: "Butterflies". Part three was the day she told me she didnt dare: "i hate me". The last part was "Why are you with me". They are all about the same girl, my very confusing and real feeling for this girl. What they only mention briefly are the things that makes this love very very difficult.
I'll try to tell it true and honest here. And I will answer every question, if any, to the best of my knowledge.
Bring on the jokes. I can tell you I've heard them all and about a thousand more. Yesterday I was at a party and found myself chatting with three girls I've never met before. They very nice, we had a fun talk - then one of them asked me my age. I said 25 - and the all started screaming. "What is your gf's name?" and then "It's you!!!!!!". I had never met these girls in my life, and yet they all knew. It's not a small town either.
It was not the first time, and if it was the last I'll eat my old sneakers for dinner. Everybody got something to say, and everybody got some reason for it to not be. I consider myself a strong person, and I don't really give a rat's ass what anyone thinks as long as my friends are still there, and support me - and they are, and do.
During easter, when it was all new and unknown, I sat down and made two lists. One for the reasons to not be with her, and one for the reasons to be with her. I started out with the negative one. It turned out quite long. Rules to follow, people who would judge us, parents who would hate me, the unknown future and so on. Then I started on the positive one. The first thing on it was "Because I can't stop thinking about you".
I still have the lists, and the positive one is still only one sentence. It is still all I need. It is still true.
I don't like it when unknown people talks to me like they know anything about me. However I like it less when they have nothing better to do than talk about something that quite honestly is not a big deal to anyone but me and her. I really don't like it when you attack her for her choices in life. Makes me angry. I'm older, more self-secure and if you want to make fun try it on me. I've never had anyone try twice so far.
You are confusing. You are really the first girl I can't figure out at all. I think you sometimes wonder if it's worth it. Sometimes you frustrate me so I could scream. Sometimes I do. Whenever I think I know you you turn around and surprise the hell out of me. I wake up and can't wait to see what you are up to on the new day.
So is it worth it? Is it worth people calling me a pedo? Is it worth getting a bad reputation? Is it worth having people talking about me behind my back? Is it worth someone suddely not talking to me because of this? Is it worth my family judging me? Is it worth the constant butterflies still inside me?
"Because I can't stop thinking about you"
It's worth it. Every second is worth it.
You are worth it.
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Norway10161 Posts
I could have been happier with this text, to be honest. Got very tired all of a sudden.
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I'm just going to be honest as an outsider looking into this situation you have presented:
I only read the first 2 [ just caught up now though ] entries you made and figured you would try to be done with the relationship. However, now that I've caught up on the reading it seems you still want to try. You may or may not have heard this but I'm also in a spot similar to yours, age difference and everything. I wish you the very best TKWL, I've only known you to be a kind person through reading your posts on TL. I really hope things work out. And even though you've probably already gone through the cost/risk factor of you getting hurt, just be careful not to let it get to you too much if it happens to go down that road. I'm really cheering for you!
Edit: Also yes to what PsychoTemplar typed below.It is somewhat true. Age is just a number, but 25-16 made even me cringe for a few seconds.
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She is 16. I am 25.
Would be nice if you at least let her graduate high school.
The issue isn't whether or not you truly love her, or if you're getting insulted for it. The issue is whether or not you're taking advantage of this girl. You need to let a girl live her life a little first. Deciding your life when you're still in high school is ridiculous, so it's not like there's a healthy long term relationship coming.
I won't call you a pedo because in Canada the age of consent is 14. I will call you abusive though.
PS: I guess your question was more rhetorical than actually inviting an answer, so sorry if my response upsets you. It's a serious concern you should be aware of though.
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You are confusing. You are really the first girl I can't figure out at all. I think you sometimes wonder if it's worth it. Sometimes you frustrate me so I could scream. Sometimes I do. Whenever I think I know you you turn around and surprise the hell out of me. I wake up and can't wait to see what you are up to on the new day.
Been there, done that 
I'm not going to judge your situation, but I will tell you that you write very nicely 
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Norway10161 Posts
On May 26 2008 09:33 PsycHOTemplar wrote:Would be nice if you at least let her graduate high school. The issue isn't whether or not you truly love her, or if you're getting insulted for it. The issue is whether or not you're taking advantage of this girl. You need to let a girl live her life a little first. Deciding your life when you're still in high school is ridiculous, so it's not like there's a healthy long term relationship coming. I won't call you a pedo because in Canada the age of consent is 14. I will call you abusive though. PS: I guess your question was more rhetorical than actually inviting an answer, so sorry if my response upsets you. It's a serious concern you should be aware of though.
I agree, and I do. To be honest I leave it up to her - I've made it very clear that if she don't feel right about it I will understand. I did not take the first steps to this. I never applied any pressure for any reason. I am very aware of every point you presented, and we have talked about them all.
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On May 26 2008 09:33 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
I won't call you a pedo because in Canada the age of consent is 14.
Looks like its 16 to me.
There is nothing wrong with your ages. However, for it to work there has to be specific circumstances, and basically you have to control the situation. That, and the economics have to be in your favor as well. If there is no economical reason for her to be with you then it makes it that much harder.
However, seeing the type of person that you are, combined with the european tendency of more of a women's rights type of society, I would say its not worth it. You will have a teenager who doesn't know what she wants (like all teenagers) and all the drama will be a lot of stress on you and probably now end up working out.
Unless she is some type of exception, or I don't know anything about other cultures, I say this one is a no...sorry.
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Fair enough. Maybe your relationship is an exception. But I'll tell you as a guy who worries about his friends and family, if I knew my sister or close friend were in a relationship like that, I would be very scared. A girl's gotta be mature, intelligent, and experienced beyond her years to know what she's getting into with that. I just hope that if you ever see her going a different direction, you don't try to hold her back (because that's not love, that's obsession and abuse).
Good luck to you. You'll certainly need it the way you walk on thin ice
+ Show Spoiler +
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just like 8 minerals is a huge difference early game,but then becomes a drop in the bucket late game, so too will your age difference become. (if ur planning to stick with her that is)
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On May 26 2008 09:32 Ack1027 wrote:
I'm just going to be honest as an outsider looking into this situation you have presented:
I only read the first 2 [ just caught up now though ] entries you made and figured you would try to be done with the relationship. However, now that I've caught up on the reading it seems you still want to try. You may or may not have heard this but I'm also in a spot similar to yours, age difference and everything. I wish you the very best TKWL, I've only known you to be a kind person through reading your posts on TL. I really hope things work out. And even though you've probably already gone through the cost/risk factor of you getting hurt, just be careful not to let it get to you too much if it happens to go down that road. I'm really cheering for you!
Edit: Also yes to what PsychoTemplar typed below.It is somewhat true. Age is just a number, but 25-16 made even me cringe for a few seconds.
Damn same
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Woah, this is news to me as well.
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You and scorpion need to talk.
+ Show Spoiler +Ok, enough with the self-righteous attitude. I'll confess. I've been head over heels for a 15 year old about a year, and I'm 20. My experience has been that young girls will confuse you, because they're too immature to know what they want. They're not sure if the relationship is "right", in both a person and moral sense. One reason these kind of relationships are rocky is because the younger person has to decide whether to listen to society or to their heart. Their poorly developed moral compass tells them that it's all wrong, but they go on with the relationship anyway, because they're easily infatuated. They're also suspicious of the older person. All this makes for a lot of confusion and drama. This is about pretty much what I went through, and it sounds like what you're going through. I don't think you're "abusive" at all, unless my impression of your character is miles off, and you're actually a huge jerk. You sound like you sincerely care about this person, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's totally worth it to go on with the relationship. Oh, you'll both have a hard time because of the difference, and it might be less likely to work in the long run, but there's nothing morally wrong with it as long as you don't take advantage of immaturity. I hope you have better luck with it than I did. I agree, and I do. To be honest I leave it up to her - I've made it very clear that if she don't feel right about it I will understand. I did not take the first steps to this. I never applied any pressure for any reason. I am very aware of every point you presented, and we have talked about them all. Thing is, she's too uninformed to make that decision. She can't possibly understand why these kind of relationships can be dangerous. She's not ready to determine whether or not this is right or wrong. If it's a big problem in the relationship, then you guys need to talk it out and come to a mutual agreement and understanding, instead of letting her 16 year old mind wander.
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At that age, the girl doesnt give a shit about anything about you except your age imo. It's all superficial enfatuation imo. Though dont let me pry, but tbh you should really step back.
imo
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she's not even mature. you're overthinking everything.
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Norway10161 Posts
On May 26 2008 09:50 PsycHOTemplar wrote:Fair enough. Maybe your relationship is an exception. But I'll tell you as a guy who worries about his friends and family, if I knew my sister or close friend were in a relationship like that, I would be very scared. A girl's gotta be mature, intelligent, and experienced beyond her years to know what she's getting into with that. I just hope that if you ever see her going a different direction, you don't try to hold her back (because that's not love, that's obsession and abuse). Good luck to you. You'll certainly need it the way you walk on thin ice + Show Spoiler +
Its 16 here as well, if anyone was wondering.
I would actually worry myself if I saw someone else in the situation. It's actually quite hard - balancing the fact that I expect certain things from a relationship againt the expectations of someone younger. Basicly I try to adopt a have fun while it lasts mindset. However it is very hard when she is so unique. I can tell that I've never even looked at a girl that young before, and I still think of her friends and other girls her age as way too young for me.
I am here for the person inside the body. And thanks
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That's disturbingly cliche, but good to hear if you're not fooling yourself
Haha, I just realized it really was -tkwl
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Norway10161 Posts
On May 26 2008 09:56 ahrara_ wrote:You and scorpion need to talk. + Show Spoiler +Ok, enough with the self-righteous attitude. I'll confess. I've been head over heels for a 15 year old about a year, and I'm 20. My experience has been that young girls will confuse you, because they're too immature to know what they want. They're not sure if the relationship is "right", in both a person and moral sense. One reason these kind of relationships are rocky is because the younger person has to decide whether to listen to society or to their heart. Their poorly developed moral compass tells them that it's all wrong, but they go on with the relationship anyway, because they're easily infatuated. They're also suspicious of the older person. All this makes for a lot of confusion and drama. This is about pretty much what I went through, and it sounds like what you're going through. I don't think you're "abusive" at all, unless my impression of your character is miles off, and you're actually a huge jerk. You sound like you sincerely care about this person, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's totally worth it to go on with the relationship. Oh, you'll both have a hard time because of the difference, and it might be less likely to work in the long run, but there's nothing morally wrong with it as long as you don't take advantage of immaturity. I hope you have better luck with it than I did. I agree, and I do. To be honest I leave it up to her - I've made it very clear that if she don't feel right about it I will understand. I did not take the first steps to this. I never applied any pressure for any reason. I am very aware of every point you presented, and we have talked about them all. Thing is, she's too uninformed to make that decision. She can't possibly understand why these kind of relationships can be dangerous. She's not ready to determine whether or not this is right or wrong. If it's a big problem in the relationship, then you guys need to talk it out and come to a mutual agreement and understanding, instead of letting her 16 year old mind wander.
Thank you. Great thoughts there, and I'll take them to heart. Thank you!
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Its not necessary to care about what others think of your relationship, its none of their concern and they are only going "OMG PEDOPHILE" because they never seen anything like that in their lives, or know anything about you (which u stated in your OP). If your GF understands what you are going through, and you display the attitude of "i don't care what others think about our relationship" then it'll bring her attraction to you even stronger than before (dunno if thats possible).. 8D
After a certain period of time, people will get over that fact anyways....:/
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On May 26 2008 09:49 fight_or_flight wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2008 09:33 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
I won't call you a pedo because in Canada the age of consent is 14. Looks like its 16 to me.
they only raised it from 14 earlier this month :X
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well I had a friend who dates a 34 year old guy when she was 17. I don't think it worked out well, though.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/ToKoreaWithLove/summerlove.jpg)
