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I dont know if i screwed up or not. You people know that i've had trouble getting over her, and that i hate his bf who used to be my former friend.
The other day i dreamt of her and my will was weak and i sent her an e-mail, which she awnsered quite quickly. So today we chated over MSN and she showed me all the stuff i've ever given to her stored in her closet, remembering old times, laughin a bit etc. And when i touch the BF subject she says "fine" and abrutply changes the subject. I didnt want to dig in further but that disturbs me. Either she doesnt want me to find out they're on trouble or just want me to stay outside the line.
So then we kept chatting for a bit more (1 hour) and i invited her to launch. She said yes and we scheduled the day. I was planning to cook some spaghetti (her fav food) and another dish but i cant get a hold on something in my mind.
so ;(
i hate i cant get over her, and i dont know whether or not i still have a chance. ill guess ill find out when we eat
 
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ugh ur so weak dude. gl..
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i want some spaghetti :3
gl
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GL tell us what happened! 
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Mmm, you sound like me for the year after my ex and I split. The biggest problem with getting over someone is that the stronger of an emotional connection you had with that person, the less you can talk to them or be friends with them. It doesn't work.
Obviously you were strongly connected to her when you were together, but you're never going to get over her by talking to her.
So, delete her phone number from her phone. Delete her MSN from your MSN, and delete her email address from your address book. Stop talking to her. Don't call her, don't text her, don't IM her, and don't email her.
Stop inviting her over for lunch, and stop making her her favorite food. You sound like a sad puppy dog following her around.
Oh, and I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but there are more girls on the planet than your ex. She's no more special than the rest of them.
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I had the same problem, almost exactly. Girlfriend of 22 months left me and went out with one of my close friends 2 weeks later. Just stop talking to her if there's no chance of you getting back together and it's hurting you. Don't let your feelings for her let you forget what she's done.
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dude you know what..
I actually im in a VERY similar situation like you. Its nice to know some1 is going through the same thing.. We dated for 1.5 yr. I broke off with her thinking im over her. then she go and date some1 else and say she wont ever get back with me and it hurts a lot. I can't get over her because we are very closed and I just can't imagine myself with another girl or find another girl that is so nice/sweet like she is.
Do you feel the same way? Just remind yourself the world is big and there are many nice girls out there... you just have to find one and stick with it. Good luck to you man.
About her bf and you wanting to get back with her, Just be careful because if her BF ever find out there will be BIG DRAMA. and your ex will be in the middle and she will hate you forever if that happens.
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note: this happened after six months of no speaking/talking/IM/text/see her >.<
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=( I'm sorry. I was in a similar situation for a while. Heartache's a bitch. Let's drink to it.
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dayum that sucks =( I'm currently iinn the same situation and i have no idea what to do =/
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Imagine her in bed with the other guy.
Still want her? 
Go find yourself some girls to flirt with, and you'll get over it right quick.
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On April 07 2008 12:02 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:
note: this happened after six months of no speaking/talking/IM/text/see her >.<
Yeah, I gave in and started talking to my ex after a while, too. But that's the problem--if you keep talking to her, it makes it difficult to move on.
So don't.
If you're still having thoughts along the lines of "but she was so great," "I'll never find someone like her," and so on, keep in mind those thoughts are motivated by emotion. Emotion isn't logical. So you can't trust them.
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United States22883 Posts
I don't know any way to fix it besides finding someone else and waiting. It's been 8 or 9 months since we stopped and I still think about her way too much, but I've been ready and looking for someone else for a bit now. The thing Is that I love her, but when I think about her personality I actually dislike it. When we first started she said she'd never be good enough for me and that hurt me then, but looking back and at what she wants to do with her life and what I want to do, I think she was right. Still, I can't shake the thought that I should be with her.
If she came to me now and said "sorry, I want you back" I'm 99% sure I'd say no, because I don't think it could work and maybe it never would have. But goddamn, I still care about everything she does and hope she gets the best.
I think it's gotta be the voice.
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On April 07 2008 12:12 Phoned wrote:Imagine her in bed with the other guy. Still want her? Go find yourself some girls to flirt with, and you'll get over it right quick.
haha i dont think that's a good idea.. well at least not for me.
it will just hurt you more and want to take his place more thus making you want to get back with her more.
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I didn't talk to my ex for like 6 months than we became fb's. Everyone's situation is different though, and I doubt that, that is what you really want anyways. Just do what you have to bro 
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Canada7170 Posts
Former friend because he went out with her?
Or were you not friends when she went out with her?
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I guess it doesn't hurt to try, but find out whats up with her and the other guy first. If you don't do that soon it's going to fuck you up even more the longer you wait.
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The best way to end relationships is permanently. Do not talk to her, do not invite her over. She isn't your friend. In a year or whenever you're done being sad, you can be friends, but not until then.
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imagine her taking a huge shit, 2 girls 1 cup style
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so j00 is liek weak fo puzzy?
nice lol.
On a more serious note, the more you hang with her, the harder it will get, I'm not saying cut every bond with her, because It's stupid and childish to do so, but try not to get so close to her again, it might happen what you're saying, and then the hurt one is going to be your former friend.
This is like karma, or that song by Justin Timberlake, What goes around comes around.
Or My name is Earl too. ?
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On April 07 2008 12:02 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:
note: this happened after six months of no speaking/talking/IM/text/see her >.<
I take back what I said in last post.
You are a fucking whining puppy dog, and you should grow some balls, and do what rpf said.
Man, 6 months?..Jesus Christ.
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On April 07 2008 12:45 mikeymoo wrote:
Former friend because he went out with her?
Or were you not friends when she went out with her?
former because he lied to me and stabbed me in the back saying he wanted her and me to be ok, but one time she come to my college to hand me a letter i left and he got angry because he was sick about hearing complaints of her, saying that she missed me and shit. The bastard dated her even when he knew i still had a crush on her, while saying they were only friends
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On April 07 2008 13:33 funKie wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2008 12:02 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:
note: this happened after six months of no speaking/talking/IM/text/see her >.< I take back what I said in last post. You are a fucking whining puppy dog, and you should grow some balls, and do what rpf said. Man, 6 months?..Jesus Christ.
Everybody deals with relationships differently. Who the fuck are you to judge?
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On April 07 2008 13:13 rpf wrote:
L winz ze thred.
I think you spoke too soon...
On April 07 2008 13:20 gEzUS wrote:
imagine her taking a huge shit, 2 girls 1 cup style
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....I know how you feel...Same way with me ex...(girl in my profile pic...)
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On April 07 2008 15:21 ~OpZ~ wrote:
....I know how you feel...Same way with me ex...(girl in my profile pic...) take her out of your profile pic dummy
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If you get her back it's because she wants something she can't have. You must seem like something she can't have, doing all her favorite shit after shes fucking around with your friend doesn't really have the same effect. I tried the "show you all the awesomeness I have to offer" way of getting back my ex, epic fail. Take my advice, make her want you first :D.
Let the mind games begin! (*fires the starter gun*)
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On April 07 2008 13:35 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2008 12:45 mikeymoo wrote:
Former friend because he went out with her?
Or were you not friends when she went out with her? former because he lied to me and stabbed me in the back saying he wanted her and me to be ok, but one time she come to my college to hand me a letter i left and he got angry because he was sick about hearing complaints of her, saying that she missed me and shit. The bastard dated her even when he knew i still had a crush on her, while saying they were only friends
I had a friend like that that I knew 10+ years. I haven't talked to him since he lied to me about them. You need friends like that like you need a bullet in the head.
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People get confused in these situations because half of your mind turns on you. It's like a drug addiction. If you quit smoking pot, would you keep a bong around for "memories"? Cold turkey is the only way. Cut her off, stop looking at her myspace page, get rid of the trinkets that remind you of her, anything she bought for you, throw it away. No communication.
It took me 2 years to get over my first post-high school sweetheart (the only girl I considered marrying, briefly). It's been about 4 years since the breakup, we've both been through other major relationships and such, and I was really curious how my heart would react to speaking with her. We hung out last month for a few hours, and I am happy to say I felt absolutely nothing except disgust for the bitch (she asked me out again; denied).
Once you're completely healed (it takes a really long time sometimes, that's OK) you'll realize that your mind was playing an expert game of rationalization against your common sense. You know what I'm saying is true, I can tell by your statements of her "not being good enough".
Don't forget to start seeing other women when you feel ready, or else your skills will rust.
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Beyonder
Netherlands15103 Posts
Understandable, somewhat. But let's face it, as many here already said: you have to quit seeing her.
As for the people calling him a pussy, telling him to just see other girls: not everyone is the same. I'm like this too. If my current relationship breaks, I know I will be affected for a long, long time.
And indeed, if you want her back, man-up and stop seeing her. Be very clear and tell her that you two cannot see each other till ....... Don't accept such things and certainly do not reward such behaviour.
I said goodbye to my current girlfriend 'permanently' before we officially got together, because she had to dump her stupid ex-boyfriend first and make some important choices. She repeatedly could not totally break it off with him for several reasons. I refused to play along and waited till she fixed everything, breaking off all contact; then she came to me, because she realized what she missed.
Good luck, son.
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United States22883 Posts
On April 07 2008 19:04 Beyonder wrote:
telling him to just see other girls: not everyone is the same. I'm like this too. If my current relationship breaks, I know I will be affected for a long, long time.
If you wait for yourself to be completely over someone before you start seeing other people, you'll be alone for a really, really, really long time.
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On April 07 2008 13:20 gEzUS wrote:
imagine her taking a huge shit, 2 girls 1 cup style
Flawless victory.
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I find you so weak, the only person like that who I know is... me. Darn
Well, the least you can do is have patience.
good luck
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On April 07 2008 13:33 funKie wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2008 12:02 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:
note: this happened after six months of no speaking/talking/IM/text/see her >.< I take back what I said in last post. You are a fucking whining puppy dog, and you should grow some balls, and do what rpf said. Man, 6 months?..Jesus Christ.
I hate to agree with this, but it's true.You're letting emotions run your life and determine your behavior. I'm not saying emotions are bad, but they do often result in illogical patterns of behavior.
You're hanging onto something you no longer have in your life. Just let go already. :|
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On April 07 2008 12:47 L wrote:
The best way to end relationships is permanently. Do not talk to her, do not invite her over. She isn't your friend. In a year or whenever you're done being sad, you can be friends, but not until then.
Agreed 100%. This is how I dealt with my three year relationship (suspect of cheating too).
Keep yourself distracted, play some SC, hang out with friends, and move on.
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I wouldn't assume you have a chance with her. Explore the possibility if you want to, but don't get your hopes up.
I can relate to the difficulty of getting over a past girlfriend. It's been 6 or 7 months since I broke up with mine, and while most of the time I am fine, there are difficult moments. Lately, the way I deal with it is when I find myself starting to remember her, I tell myself to stop thinking about her; move on to some other thought entirely. I might not do this if there were any possibility of friendship between me and her, but there is not, so it makes little sense for me to dwell on her, particularly when it leads to me missing her. So, in short, it may help to practice self discipline and keep her out of your mind. She will keep sneaking back into your thoughts, so you have to keep pushing her back out again.
Do stay positive; there are many wonderful women out there that you can fall in love with.
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On April 07 2008 15:46 yubee wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2008 15:21 ~OpZ~ wrote:
....I know how you feel...Same way with me ex...(girl in my profile pic...) take her out of your profile pic dummy
bleh...I know I should remove it...and I do have a new gf...I just...don't feel the same feeling for her as I felt for the other girl...
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I know what you mean, i had a 6 years relationship.
You have to cut all the relation with her, and accept you have lost her.
She is not going to come back with you, because she doesn't fit with you and she probably doesn't see future with you, so you have to accept it, and start a new life without her.
Advices:
-> Delete her from msn.
-> Remove all photographs or at least
-> keep all loves letters , but not read them until again you forget her and you are emotionally good.
-> You are going to find someone better, but until you don't feel good , it will be more difficult.
-> This experience is quite positive for you, and you will understand it with time.
-> When you have been more relationship you start to select better the next girl, in most case, the next , the better.
-> learn how to attract new girls, at the beginning it will not be easy, but with time, you will see that is a skill, with practice, patience and courage you will get good eventually.
But the most important thing is knowing what you really want.
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Not like im depressed or something, i just miss her. Lets see how it goes the date. In the meantime i've just asked like 3 friends out, so i have another 3 dates as well to cover my ass hehe(not pretending anything romantic tho, but merely fun, but she doesnt need to know that)
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On April 08 2008 04:57 ~OpZ~ wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2008 15:46 yubee wrote:On April 07 2008 15:21 ~OpZ~ wrote:
....I know how you feel...Same way with me ex...(girl in my profile pic...) take her out of your profile pic dummy bleh...I know I should remove it...and I do have a new gf...I just...don't feel the same feeling for her as I felt for the other girl...
Wait, are you retarded? Break up with your fucking present girlfriend then. You are doing her a HUGE disservice by leading her on this hard. Have a heart.
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On April 08 2008 06:12 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:
Not like im depressed or something, i just miss her. Lets see how it goes the date. In the meantime i've just asked like 3 friends out, so i have another 3 dates as well to cover my ass hehe(not pretending anything romantic tho, but merely fun, but she doesnt need to know that)
SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. It's not a god damn date. Stop lying to yourself, it's only going to make the rejection harder.
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On April 07 2008 11:37 rpf wrote:
Stop inviting her over for lunch, and stop making her her favorite food. You sound like a sad puppy dog following her around.
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Do NOT have lunch with her. FUCK THAT.
You need to break off that plan for lunch immediately and don't give her a reason why. Be vague and say "something" came up or whatever you have to do. This is so aggravating because you seem like a nice guy. Having this lunch with her will only make you miss her more and, in addition to that, you're going to start telling yourself that -maybe- she wants more. You're going to fuck yourself emotionally. (I know - I've been there).
You need to break off all contact immediately and move on. I want to say the word "pathetic," but I think you're a nice guy and not deserving of that. But this is definitely close to me saying it.
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yeah this guy above me knows what he's talking about, get sprayed in the face by satan jizz and then come back and say he's wrong
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What the hell? I guess I never realized so many people felt this way about relationships and past lovers. I completely disagree with 90% of the advice here. And this is something I feel pretty strongly about, so excuse me if I come off as blunt, but I really have the best intentions. This is also going to sound corny, but bear with me.
Relationships aren't something that should be treated like objects. I don't just mean romantic relationships -- any kind of close relationship should be remembered and honored for life. I let every person in my life know how important to me they are, and when we go our seperate ways, I try my best to keep in touch with them. There are people I haven't seen in person since 5th grade that I keep in touch with still, usually by email or snail mail (though honestly, not a lot and not very often, because I'm not perfect). The ones I've let go of, that I sincerely cared for, I've always regretted.
If you sincerely like this person, and care for her like you say you do, then by no means should you cut off contact with her. You should cherish what you shared with her, and keep your relationship going, even if it's not at the same level it used to be. What you had with her was very important to both of you at one time, and you both obviously still treasure the experience. I think you will regret at some point in the future if you just shut her out of your life.
I am not arguing that you should be obsessing over this girl forever. No, in that sense, the advice here is right. Don't commit yourself emotionally, if you can help it. Keep a distance, and spend time with other friends. But don't just cut her off. What you had with her is something only the two of you can really appreciate. Do you really want to throw out that experience, as if it never mattered? It'd be like if you were the only person in the world who played starcraft. You'd want someone else to share that experience with.
Some of you are going to tell me I'm not being realistic, or that I'm a pansy for believing this. Whatever. You can stick to what you believe, I'm not going to judge you. But for me, holding on to people in my past and cherishing them is important to me. If some how I'd lost touch with all the people I haven't talked to in a while (like if facebook died), I'd be pretty devestated.
I should add that I'm not that naive, although I probably have less experience with relationships than most people here. Still, I've been "there", so to speak, and I know how shitty it can be. Ya, I succumb to the idea that maybe it'll work out like anybody else. Unlike other posters, I weighed the two, and I found my choice was more rewarding in the long run. That and, it helps to have people you can spend time with that gets your mind off of the girl.
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you comment isnt even funny. ban and your nick sux too
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EPT
